Just one phrase that will stop the gossip once and for all
Gossip - verbal rumors. The origin and development of gossip is investigated by evolutionary psychology. Gossip is an important means by which people can track the reputation in the community and thus support the widespread distribution of indirect reciprocity. British anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar (English) Russian. considers gossip as the basis for building social connections in large communities. One of the main sources of the rapid spread of gossip are social media, through which in just a few minutes the most vile gossip and rumors can be transferred from one corner of the world to another.
“Can you imagine her husband ...” , “She absolutely does not know how to dress” , “In fact, he is not an expert at all!” , “Their children are completely ill-mannered” - at least once in our lives each of us has heard such phrases. Yes, we sometimes do not mind discussing colleagues or friends. People love to gossip. Studies have shown that about 80% of our conversations are discussions of other people and their habits.
Hello, Anyuta? You can not imagine! I'm flying to Gagra now. With Yakin himself! Hello, tick? You will die now! Awesome news! Yakin threw his kikimora, well, and persuaded me to fly with him to Gagra. Hello, Vava? You will fall now! Hello, Shura? Imagine, Yakin fell in love with me like a boy. Made me an offer, and we are now flying away with him on a honeymoon trip.
Why do we love gossip so much?
According to psychologists, the main reason is the desire of a person to simplify the process of building social ties:
- Antipathies shared by interlocutors bind them much more than common likes and interests.
- People feel a certain excitement when they disclose confidential information about others.
- There are gossips who take pleasure in other people's failures and blunders, mentally drawing a parallel between "so clever of themselves" and someone from the neighboring department.
How to stop it?
It seems that gossip is everywhere and difficult to avoid. But psychologists have identified a simple phrase that can stop a gossip. When someone tries to engage you in a negative conversation about another person, just ask:
“Why are you telling me this?”
Simple phrase, right? Nevertheless, it is very effective:
- First, the question dispels any gossip mercenary motive.
- Secondly, the phrase makes the gossip understand that you are not interested in complicity, and lose interest in you as your interlocutor.
Gossip is far from harmless. Spreading rumors or lies can negatively affect a person’s emotional health and reputation. It is important to understand that when you gossip, you harm, directly or indirectly. So the next time someone tries to get you into gossip, remember that the simple phrase “Why do you tell me this?” Can stop the flow of dirty rumors.
Via adme.ru & wiki