Just one phrase that will stop gossips once and for all
Gossips are rumors transmitted orally. The origin and development of gossip is investigated by evolutionary psychology. Gossip is an important means by which people can track the reputation in the community and thus support the widespread spread of indirect reciprocity. British anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar (English) Russian. considers gossip as a basis for building social ties in large communities. One of the main sources for the rapid spread of gossip is social media, through which in just a few minutes from one corner of the world in the other can be transferred the most vile gossip and rumors.
"Imagine, her husband ..." , "She does not know how to dress" , "In fact, he is no expert at all!" , "They have children completely ill-bred" - for once in our lives each of us heard such phrases. Yes, we sometimes do not mind discussing colleagues or friends. People adore gossip. Studies have shown that about 80% of our conversations are a discussion of other people and their habits.
Hello, Anyuta? You can not imagine! I'm flying to Gagry now. With Yakin himself! Hello, Check? You're going to die! Stunning news! Yakin threw his kikimora, well, he persuaded me to fly with him to Gagry. Hello, Wawa? You're going to fall! Hello, Shura? Imagine, Yakin fell in love with me, like a little boy. Made me an offer, and now we fly off with him on a honeymoon.
Why do we love gossip so much?
According to psychologists, the main reason is the man's desire to simplify the process of establishing social ties:
- Antipathy, shared by interlocutors, connects them much more than common sympathies and interests.
- People feel a certain excitement when they disclose confidential information about others.
- There are gossips who take pleasure in others' failures and misses, mentally drawing a parallel between "such a smart self" and someone from the next department.
How to stop it?
It seems that gossip everywhere and they are difficult to avoid. But psychologists have identified a simple phrase that can stop a gossip. When someone tries to get you into a negative conversation about another person, just ask:
"Why are you telling me this?"
A simple phrase, is not it? And nevertheless it is very effective:
- First, the question dissipates any self-serving motive of the gossip.
- Secondly, the phrase makes the gossiper understand that you are not interested in complicity, and lose to you as an interlocutor interest.
Gossip is far from harmless. The spread of rumors or lies can negatively affect the emotional health of a person, and his reputation. It is important to understand that when you are gossiping, you are harming, directly or indirectly. So the next time someone tries to drag you into gossip, remember that the simple phrase "Why do you tell me this?" Can stop the stream of dirty rumors.
Via adme.ru & wiki