Better than family

Friends often give us something that the family can not give. We can talk to them about what is taboo among family members. "Friends do not judge," observes Sarah Harrison, 47, a mother of two who recently married again. I could confess to my best friend that I was cheating on my husband, but it never entered my head to tell my mother about it. "
As Dr. Rubin points out, our friends often serve us as a more accurate mirror than a family whose members tend to see us as we were before, and not as we became.
"Sometimes," says Dr. Rubin, "friends fill the void in our lives, replace parents or brothers and sisters that we lack to make our development more harmonious." "I believe that friends outside the family are of great benefit in that they give an opportunity to defuse the heated relations between the spouses, adds Dr. Rubin. Friends can give us everything from a sense of spiritual intimacy to a different view of things, even tenderness, which is not enough in marriage. "
Particularly great is the role of friends in the lives of those who are in isolation, for example, the elderly. A study of the impact on health of older people of involuntary resettlement, carried out by researchers from the University of Yale, made it possible to identify three factors that help the elderly to endure difficulties: children living at a distance of no more than 50 miles, faith and participation in religious departures, and at least two friends. Another study showed that close friends are more likely to support a middle-aged woman with a sense of well-being than even marriage, children and grandchildren.