Funny sms, sms congratulations, sms jokes [page 2]

I'm an alien and I settled in your mobile. At the moment, when you press the buttons, I have sex with your finger, and I know that you like it, because you are smiling.

From the zoo just ran three monkeys: one was found near the tree, the second was not found, and the third was just seen reading this SMS

This is the SMS virus 2006! He has already made his way through the buttons of your mobile phone to your fingers through the hands and already has you in the anus, and I know that you like it because you're smiling

Listen, do not press so hard on the buttons, I'm hot, and generally take your hand away, otherwise I can not see anything!

At the moment, 2 million people are sleeping in the world, 1 million are eating, 0.5 million are making love and only one person, whom I love, reads my SMS.

How to conquer a woman? Take care of her, take care of her, love her, make her compliments, respect her. How to conquer a man? Undress and serve a bottle of beer!

If we release a guy into the forest, he will collect 3 kg of berries, if the girl is 5 kg. But this does not mean that if we let go to the forest of both, they will collect 8 kg of berries

How to conquer a woman? Take care of her, take care of her, love her, make her compliments, respect her. How to conquer a man? Undress and serve a bottle of beer!

Congratulations! You won a gypsy girl in the lottery! If you do not take the prize within 14 days, we will send a whole camp!

Your shape is perfect, your skin is tender, your smell drives me crazy, you have amazing eyes. From one of my touches, you start .... My favorite Ferrari F50 )))
Beeline informs: You have been sent a sweet magic dream! You can pick up the parcel in the bed of a loved one! Good night!

Dating club: "Who is over thirty!"

The secretary had such a bust that she could only work on the computer blindly.

It's good to be an alcoholic, As a boat sail through the streets!

Can not find the key to the heart of a woman? Try to pick up to another place!

He's jealous of everyone, indiscriminately. Even to those with whom I have never slept.

Our team will go to the World Cup !!! They collected 5 labels from Snickers!

My childhood was difficult! Up to 5 years, I thought that I was called Shut!

Psychic attack - sailors on zebras!

The first fraud in life? NIPPLE!

I'll give advice to you girlfriend: Do not ever be shy, If the guy cheats, Come and hit the face!

If the guy is laughing at you, spit in his face, let him choke.

If you want to marry a smart, handsome and rich, you will have to marry three times.

A good manicure can decorate not only the hands of a woman, but also the face of a man!

Man is a mysterious phenomenon. It is absurd to try to understand a creature that piles standing up.

By Goddesses we were and have remained, Bringing madness of our bodies. Let those who we do not get licked off, Let those who did not want to die die!

Do not argue with men, anyway, they are never right.

Girlfriends are the best I can not find, Well, maybe you can, if I wanted to ... But, only where do you say to take this, What would me, how did you endure ...

Do not be sad, otherwise the breast will not grow.

It is not clear why, But on the whim of the creator, The body of every man, Begins from the end!

Tired of critical days? Change the floor!

There are many laws in life, Remember two rules for a start: It's better to starve than what is horrible, And it's better to be alone than with anyone.

Prince can wait all his life, but a man, every day is needed.

You can live and not fall in love, For a little love. All deceive to try, But do not be deceived!

Guys, what's the clock. They need to be started every day.

Liked (ah), such as you, was not, no, and not necessary!

Without a bazaar I say: - Baby, I love you!

Attention! Virus! He made his way into my phone book, chose the most beautiful, kind and intelligent person there and sent him this sms ...

I want you! I want to turn your head, drag you to bed and throw you into a fever, and you moaned for a week! Your flu!

I want with you all at once, but I get nothing and gradually.

Today I put 1000 kisses, 500 beautiful dreams, and 100 sweet thoughts on the account in your heart. And, when you will miss me. Take them off the bill.

You brought me to the point that I missed you beyond recognition.

Hello sunshine! Outside, it's snowing, cold wind, and my tent was stolen. Let's spend the night.

You are like Bounty - a piece of Paradise on the planet.

I do not eat breakfast in the morning, tk. thinking of you. In the afternoon I do not have dinner, I think about you. In the evening I do not have supper - I think about you. I do not sleep at night - I want to eat!

I love myself!

My heart is open to you. Come and see what is hidden there.

You are my kitty ... saber-toothed!

For your sake I would go anywhere, even to the end of the world! You promise me to stay here?

Dear, to soften my sadness for you? Maybe knowledge that you also miss me? I hope you will not be sorry for a few cents, and you'll write me a text message!

From your personal account was withdrawn 75 rubles. On the landscaping of the moon. Thank you for your help, Sleepwalkers.

Darling, get up! No, you all get up!

You are sent a sweet magic dream! You can pick up the parcel in the bed of a loved one!

Call or send sms, forgot (a) how your voice looks.

Your eyes are a bottomless well. I look at them and drown in infinity, from which ... it breathes cold and damp.

You will pass by - pass.

I want you to know that our friendship means a lot to me! You cry - I'm crying! You laugh - I laugh! You'll jump out of the window ... I'm looking, and ... I'm laughing again!

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or am I gonna peek your eyes again?

Attention - this message was sent from another galaxy with the goal of finding the most beautiful and kind person. Now it is found. It's you!

Write sms or my heart will not withstand atmospheric pressure!

Do not look for me, do not call, do not send sms, I do not want to talk to you, I do not want to see you, I do not want to hear you, because the doctor forbade me sweets ...

Get out of my thoughts. You interfere with work.

I'm in the police. They took me and started the case. Reason: too beautiful. They have all the evidence on their hands. I'm confused. Help me!

The recipe for love: 500gr. Passion, 300gr. Love, add kisses and hugs to taste. The dish is ready. PS try together in bed, preferably with me.

What are you watching? Did the SMS come?

Dear subscriber, you are turned off for squandering state secrets! "SMS-Service-Center"

He came to me one night, had my body, drilled and made him feel, and when he was full he just disappeared, fucking mosquito!

Wake up your conscience, call me!

You do not want to be a toy, in any hands. An alien will is obedient in plans and deeds. But you like to play toys. Maybe you can play with me?

When the stork brought you to your parents - they laughed for a long time and at first they wanted to take the stork.