Why you should never return to the one who hurt you
Why never come back to the one who hurt you.
It’s time, finally, for common sense to take up and realize why you should never return to the one who hurt you ...
There are people who you like, but who are "harmful" to you, regardless of whether you have a serious relationship with them or is it just another affair.
There is a certain insatiable irresistibility in these people, namely that they are supposedly close to you, but at the same time not close enough.
You fell face down into the mud, but not for the first time, and also not the last time.
You adore the moment when the name of this person is displayed on your phone. Are you ready to do anything to see her or his sincere smile. When you are not together, you crave to see the look with which he or she looks at you.
But you look into her or his eyes and you see absolutely not the reflection that you would like.
You see in this reflection a feeling of remoteness, which indicates that he or she is not completely with you, and will never be, no matter how much you would like to.
He or she can say that you are beautiful and you want to believe it, because the words make an impression on us, they either hurt or give happiness.
Part of you is looking for the pain that this person gives you. This is a confusing forward-backward cycle associated with this person; you cannot stop returning to him or her. You are all waiting for changes in this person.
“Maybe this time it really will be different,” you say to yourself with stubborn naivety. You close your eyes again.
You perfectly understand what is happening, what are the consequences of what is happening and why it is bad for you.
You also know very well the difference between those for whom you are in the first place and for whom you are just some kind of addition.
Usually common sense ultimately wins, but often it takes a lot of time. Your emotions blow the bare truth right in your face, because you surrendered too quickly before your desire to hug her or him.
I suppose that this can be perceived as weakness and emotional immaturity, which to one degree or another is true.
We are told to never settle for less than we deserve.
So why aren't we following this advice? Is it really that we give in to temptation and surrender ourselves entirely to a person who does not value us as we deserve, makes us not so valuable?
Perhaps this just makes us more humane, stupid on the one hand, nourishing hopes on the other hand, vulnerable and at the same time stubborn.
We deliberately do not follow the advice of our friends, although we are fully aware of the harm from this long-awaited, and most likely drunken kiss. All we need is for them to want us as much as we want them.
Causing pain is one of the most intimate experiences you can experience with someone. This is in order to identify the strongest among us, because everyone has feelings and memories that we release without much desire.
But I believe that while you cannot control your feelings, you can still control how other people treat you.
We would very much like to believe that people can change for us, but we need to face the truth, this will never happen. It is important to understand and accept this.
The question is how long you can endure all this, and part of the solution is to realize your limits and what you really need. All this is not easy, but, in the end, your happiness is only in your own hands.
Some people, no matter how much we reach for them, are not worth it.
Via Sophia Wu