Anonymous superwoman: the history of changes in the life of one of them

Susan Ashton is a writer, her husband is a lawyer. She calls herself a superwoman of a new type. "When I had one child, I could do everything myself and, in truth, I was very proud of it," she admits. When my son was born, everything changed. I worked hard, nursed a 3-year-old daughter and a baby and tried to snatch any minute for work. I did not just have time to do everything necessary. I do not have enough time and no time. "
Susan was able to solve at least part of her problems, following advice such as those given by experts advising "recovering" super-women, for example Marjorie Hansen Shaevich. She asked herself: "What is the most important for me? Who is more important to me? "
Having managed to deal with this, she was able to get rid of what was pulling her down. But at the same time, she said, she had to sacrifice some things.
In this case, both Susan and her husband felt that it was more important for them to have children, their own relationship with each other than the opportunity to go somewhere on vacation during the holidays and the abundance of Christmas presents that provided them with their earnings. Therefore, they both moved to a smaller number of working hours, equally sharing household chores and caring for children.
"The main advantage was that our children finally felt that they have both mom and dad," says Susan. She nonetheless recognizes that her difficulties arise.
One of the problems is connected with the fact that we had more time for pleasures, but there was less money to buy the things necessary for providing leisure, she laughs. But you eventually find that you can get pleasure without spending a lot of money on it. When you read and think about the real meaning of Christmas, which does not involve rich gifts at all, you can say that everything is in order. This is consistent with our actions, because we do not have the money. "
It was not easy for Ashtons to give up some of their plans and lower their standard of living. When the time came for holidays, Susan admitted that after they used to spend two weeks sunbathing in the sun, they found it difficult to limit themselves to trips per day.
In some families, savings become a way of life. But for the success indicators of a big house, expensive cars, prestigious schools have to be paid. You always have to make a choice.
Ashtons believed that paying for their former way of life was the lack of time for children, the lack of time for themselves. "In the end, I came to the conclusion that there is no easy way," admits Susan. You just have to decide what you really need, and without which you can do without. If financial security is important for you, then stay at work. If it is more important for you to be with the children, then stay at home if there is such an opportunity. You decide what to choose. We have a hard time, but I knew it would not be easy. You just have to find an option that you personally would be most acceptable. "