For most American families, the real American Dream is precisely formulated in the nursery rhyme: "Love comes first, then the wedding happens, and now the mother is walking with the baby in the stroller." But for one of 13 couples, this dream turns into a terrible dream when they learn that they cannot have children.
The diagnosis of "infertility" is made if attempts to become pregnant during the year remain unsuccessful or if the pregnancy has repeatedly ended in miscarriages; This is usually one of the worst crisis moments in the life of a family. In one study, 200 couples treated for infertility were observed; 40 percent of women admitted that the impossibility of having a child is the hardest emotional experience that they have encountered in their lives.
The pain due to the inability to have children overflows the lives of many couples, affects and poisons all aspects of their lives; affects self-confidence, sexuality, work and relationships. Pregnancy is becoming an obsession, trying to get pregnant "into full-time work," as one woman put it. Friends, family members, career, everything recedes into the background compared with the daily measurement of basal temperature, the results of sperm analysis, another medical procedure, another medication. As one psychologist said, there is a lack of balance in the lives of these couples. One week they hope, next week they grieve.
Susan Miksell, a Ph.D. from Washington, a psychologist who specializes in counseling infertile couples, describes the monthly cycle as a psychologist and as a woman who herself went through everything related to the fight against infertility.
“You are hopeful at the beginning of the month,” she says. You know that with the advent of a new cycle you will start all over again and you will succeed. If your temperature rises (sign of ovulation) and if you had sexual intercourse at a favorable time, you feel euphoric for the next two weeks, but at the same time hold your breath. You listen to your feelings, if there is a slight soreness in the breasts, if nausea begins. This rise lasts until the onset of menstruation. At this point, the usual reaction of the desire to believe, and you say to yourself: "Some even have small bleeding during pregnancy, do they not?"
Then comes the recession. You are definitely non-pregnant. Sadness and bad mood last from a few minutes to a few days and weeks. Then a new cycle begins and hope again appears. And all this is repeated from month to month. "
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