Conflicts common thing

The likelihood of conflicts in families with two breadwinners is very high. Studies show that, no matter how prestigious and profitable their service is, women still do most of the household work and childcare, and this is precisely the situation that is most controversial in the home. There are other, more serious reasons for conflicts than figuring out who should wipe the dust or take out the trash can. What if one of the spouses is offered an excellent job in another state? What happens if you start earning more than your spouse, or will you rise above him on the career ladder? What if you stopped being the woman he married? Like the disagreements on housekeeping, these are all the moments that marriage can blow up like a land mine.
There are no simple answers to questions related to conflicts in families, where both husband and wife are trying to make a career, conflicts that can put a cross on marriage. In such families, there is much more controversy about anything, from who should do the diapers, to the business interests of which of the spouses should be given preference this week; In such families, we often have to make compromises. It often turns out that such couples have little time left, and this causes anger, resentment, a sense of loneliness. If the marriage ceases to satisfy the spouses, they sometimes seek satisfaction in their careers. In this case, you risk taking decisions based on career interests, and, not fed, your marriage will die of hunger.
"Many working spouses feel tired all the time," notes Mattie Gerschenfeld, Ph.D., director of the Center for the Study of Spousal Relations in Jenkynthown, Pennsylvania. Not surprisingly, for many of them, sex has lost its appeal. "
As in any good marriage, over time, the difference between spouses is smoothed out, they begin to tolerate the shortcomings of another. To take advantage of such a marriage, the relationship between working spouses should be healthy. "The only guarantee of marriage is a good, caring relationship of loving people who can honestly talk about everything," says Dr. Gisela Booth, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, an associate professor of psychology at Northwestern University in Chicago. It is essential that both understand and respect the professional interests and duties of each other. "
In contrast to the type of "give-take" relationship, that is, it gives, and it takes, the usual for the past years, modern working spouses give and take reciprocally. Spouses are one team, whose members provide mutual support.
Gay Hirshey first felt the benefits of a marriage built on mutual support when she married Tom, the second husband nine years ago. "In the first marriage my husband wanted me to do everything for him. I also want to do everything for Tom, but the difference is that he wants to do everything for me in the same way. When I lost a permanent job a few years ago, I thought that maybe I had the opportunity to try to start my own business. I was worried that the burden of material worries would fall on Tom's shoulders. But he said: "Try it." He reminded me that when he lost his job a few years earlier, I kept us both for six months. "If you could do this for me," he said, "I can do the same for you." Yes, when I was growing up, it was not accepted. But a wonderful idea! "
"Marriage must be nourished. It's not enough to run a farm together, says Dr. Gershenfeld; She often recommends couples together to go on a "mini vacation", taking advantage of the low prices for weekends in many hotels during the dead seasons. The main thing is that you need to break away from the monotonous flow of days, away from the plans that hang over you, she says. This is useful for your marriage and is useful for your children. Otherwise, all your accumulated annoyance will pour out on them. "