Love and impossibility to deceive
“Fortunately, in reality we are not captives of our biology,” says Janette Lauer, Ph.D., dean of the College of Humanities at the United States International University in San Diego.
We are also emotional beings who appreciate love, trust, friendship, fulfillment of obligations. All this Dr. Lauer and her husband Robert found in 300 long happy marriages, which they studied for several years and described in their book Together Until Death. Although the Loers spouses did not directly ask about infidelity, Dr. Lauer says that the qualities listed are incompatible with infidelity.
“The qualities they particularly appreciated, and men and women called the same qualities in roughly the same order, vital for their relationship,” she said. They kept these people from casual relationships. ”
“Loyalty holds marriage together,” says Florence Caslow, Ph.D., head of the West PalmBeach Family and Marriage Institute and ex-president of the International Association of Family Therapy Specialists. This is one of the cornerstones of marriage, part of its foundation. If you damage the foundation, the whole building will quickly collapse. ”
Loyalty, along with the rights and obligations, is an integral part of any close relationship, such that you open your heart and soul to another person. “You open up, allow another person to know everything about you that you know about yourself, and this makes you vulnerable, which is why trust becomes such an important element of matrimony.” Dr. Lauer points out that in fact one of the reasons why infidelity hurts so deeply is the betrayal of trust, the “actual act of treason”.
We are also aware of infidelity as a sign of trouble. In a survey conducted in 1990 by a Canadian magazine, 87 percent of respondents said extramarital affairs are a signal of marriage breakdown.