Better than family
Friends often give us what the family cannot give. We can talk to them about what is a taboo among family members. “Friends do not blame, notes Sarah Harrison, 47, mother of two children, who recently remarried. I could admit to my best friend that I was cheating on my husband, but it never occurred to me to tell my mother about it. ”
As Dr. Rubin points out, our friends often serve us with a more accurate mirror than a family, whose members tend to see us as we were before, and not as we became.
"Sometimes, says Dr. Rubin, friends fill the voids in our lives, replacing parents or brothers and sisters, whom we lack to make our development more harmonious." “I believe that friends outside the family bring tremendous benefits by giving the opportunity to defuse the heated relations between the spouses, adds Dr. Rubin. Friends can give us everything from a feeling of intimacy to a different view of things, even tenderness that is lacking in marriage. ”
Especially great is the role of friends in the lives of those who find themselves in isolation, for example, the elderly. Studies of the effects on the health of elderly people of involuntary resettlement, conducted by researchers from Yale University, revealed three factors that help sick old people to endure difficulties: children living no more than 50 miles away, faith and participation in religious items and at least two friends. Another study showed that close friends more support a feeling of well-being in an elderly woman than even marriage, children and grandchildren.