The most uncertain feelings

Grief experienced by spouses and their relatives after a miscarriage, compounded by the fact that people do not realize the attachment to a lost fetus, whereas studies show that it is very strong. Expectant mothers in early pregnancy are experiencing a strong emotional attachment to the child not yet born. A study conducted by Dr. Lasker on the example of several hundred pairs, showed that typically mount stronger the longer a woman carried the child, but there are other studies which indicate that the duration of pregnancy is less important than the emotional bond with the child, which a woman feels. A woman who really imagine the child even in the early stages of pregnancy can suffer so much after a miscarriage, as if she had lost a newborn.
The surrounding people, including medical personnel, may try to comfort the woman. In one study it was found out that the doctors of the hospital staff said about his attitude to abortion as a tragedy, but the authors of the study identified the behavior as "tacit sympathy" because compassion is rarely expressed in words.
"Attempts to family members, friends and health professionals do to help often add fuel to the fire, said Dr. Lasker. You can hear: "You're still give birth to another child," even though you yourself are far from convinced. "
Dr. Lasker found that many women after a miscarriage suffer both physically and psychologically. Upsets sleep, appetite disappears. It's hard to concentrate on something. There is a feeling of guilt, helplessness, insecurity, fear for the future. You can feel their inadequacy as a woman, because you failed to do what the other is easy to manage. It appears hostility, anger, and depression. Even when everything seems to be left behind, you are overcome by the sadness in those momentous and holidays that you expected to meet with your child.
Although the couple are the greatest solace in each other's company, there is a limit to which they can help each other. "Woe, notes Dr. Lasker, experience alone. Even the most loving couple may not completely relieve the pain of each other. You and your husband in many ways feel the pain of loss. " Research carried out by Dr. Lasker, like many others, shows that the father usually did not feel a connection with the unborn child, as the mother, because the child is not his physical reality. In addition, men in another way to express their deepest feelings.
You can get mad at her husband for what his feelings are not the same as yours. A husband may well feel helplessness and frustration because it is not able to comfort you. You want to talk to many women work, they "reprimanded" and these conversations unbearable for him. "Part of the difference in behavior is due to the fact that men and women at all different expressions of grief, suggests Dr. Lasker. Men and women bring different. Men say that they have to be strong, to take care of their wives, and as a result they do not give grief to capture them in their entirety. "