Clash of interests
Psychologist Mardi Dirland, Ph.D., who conducted an in-depth survey of 100 women who have no children, found that most of them love children, but more appreciate other aspects of life, such as their own careers or socializing with friends who play a big role in their of life.
“I expected to meet more women who do not like children, but they were in the minority,” said Dr. Ireland from the University of California at Berkeley (she has no children herself). But these were, rather, women who highly valued the equal nature of the relationship and who were afraid that with the advent of children it would change. They also appreciated personal freedom, a way of life that allowed them to make quick decisions, an opportunity to engage in creative work, and felt that they could not succeed in both areas at once. ”
Some of the women interviewed by Dr. Ireland even checked themselves by voluntarily spending time with the children of their friends and relatives. “So they checked how strong their craving for children was. And they decided: “Not so great,” she says.
Other studies have shown that women who do not want to have children are often highly educated, show interest in their work and have achieved great success; they believe that motherhood would not bring them such satisfaction. Many believe that career and children are incompatible, that even in an “equal” marriage, child care remains a woman’s responsibility.
Elsa Harrow, a 34-year-old woman absorbed in scientific research, said she was confident that children would become a source of conflict, whereas for ten years she would be completely happy with marriage. “Ed is a psychologist, he works until 9 pm, so I’d have to do everything alone, and I know that I would become annoyed. I know that I would start to reproach him for working late, and would feel something like a single mother. ”