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Fear of aging

Unfortunately, the cultural imperative, which assumes that the way we look, determines our value for ourselves, our men, our world, makes women so sensitive to the physical signs of aging.
Is that so? Yes it is. Despite the fact that women settled in operating rooms, driving a car, in hotels, psychologists find that most women still believe that their value is determined by how they look, and not what they know how to do.
“Women tend to equate beauty and sexuality,” says Laura Barbanel, MD, professor and head of postgraduate school psychology at Brooklyn College, New York University. Maybe this is an extension of the old equation "if ... then ...", i.e. if aging reduces our beauty, then it also reduces our sexual attractiveness. If we look less sexy, then we cannot attract partners. If we do not attract partners, then we cannot have children. If we do not have children, then we do not fulfill our mission. If we do not fulfill our mission, there is no use to us. What is the logic? Is all the value of a woman really her ability to give birth?
Of course not. But the fear of aging is rooted precisely in such views, ”concludes Dr. Barbanel. For a woman, as one of her colleagues put it, aging is nothing more than a “humiliating process of sexual disqualification.”
The situation is complicated by the fact that now, in the 90s, we have the opportunity to delay at least the obvious signs of aging. Exercise can strengthen sluggish hips, exercises can tighten a sagging stomach, tightening the skin near the eyes allows you to get rid of bags under the eyes, moisturizers will improve the condition of the skin of the legs. There is no doubt that at 40 we look different from what our mothers looked like.
“Ironically, Dr. Jergen says, our ability to look young in adulthood actually reinforces the myth that a woman is as good as she looks.” This she calls the Jane Fonda effect.
“The problem is, she explains, that if Jane can look great at 44 or 54, we think we should look good too. And soon it turns into another cultural setting. This is what society expects of us, what we expect of ourselves. Such an attitude takes possession of the minds, creates a contradictory situation, the differences between age groups are smoothed out and blurred, and at the same time we continue to believe that a woman with wrinkles on her face, spots on her hands and gray hair loses her attractiveness or at least part his "I". But in reality the opposite should happen. The middle of life can be a time of tremendous spiritual growth, because it is at this time that we look at ourselves in the mirror and think: “What have I done with my life?”, “What am I going to do in the remaining years?”