Be able to agree on who and what work at home will perform

What if you do not get even occasional help from outside? There remains a less reliable way. You need to come to an agreement within the family, distribute part of the housework between the other members, which in many cases gives very moderate results.
Most experts advise to do this: you and your husband sit down and write a detailed concrete plan, what homework and when each of you will do, and hang it in a prominent place. The most important plan should be specific.
"If you and your husband decided that while you cook, he will wash the children, you should clearly indicate that after washing he will need to disassemble the towels in the bathroom," advises psychologist Maggie Gershenfeld, Ph.D., the head of the Center for Studying Relationships between Spouses in Jankintown, Pennsylvania. Many men enjoy bathing with children in the bathroom, but they leave everything in disorder there. "
If the issue of division of responsibilities is a sore point in your relationship, try to discuss this problem in the most calm, cordial atmosphere. Tell your spouse everything that you would like from him, and ask how he relates to this. Most likely, he will get angry and offended, considering that you do not appreciate how much he really does.
"At best," she observes, "he will propose his plan, and the likelihood that he will stick to it is greater, because that's his plan."
Do not forget that a man doing homework is a new phenomenon. In many cases, a woman and a man have different ideas about what it means to "get out of the house". "My husband believes that to do cleaning is to pick up what is scattered, says Caroline Robert, a responsible worker. For me, it is certainly connected with a basin of water and soap. "
Spouses are going on a compromise. David takes everything in its place. Caroline follows him with water and soap.
One important observation: once your husband and other family members agreed to do housework, do not criticize them. "He does not have to do it the way you are used to," warns Dr. Gershenfeld. It does not matter that you first wipe the dust, and then take up the vacuum cleaner, and he first vacuums, then wipes the dust. Do not pay attention that he puts the plates in the dishwasher is not like you. He does it. "
See also: A family with two working spouses.