Look at everything with different eyes

Envious people are often very embittered. They lack confidence, and this affects their relationship with others. "When a woman marries without feeling a person, in order to compensate for the infringement in the past, she completely depends on her husband," says Dr. Glace, and considers any crisis in marriage to be a terrible blow. "
"Such women have difficulty establishing and maintaining friendly ties," adds Dr. Norton. Close relationships suggest that you experience and express joy about the success of a friend. An eternally envious woman is not able to feel joy in such cases. Rather, the comparison with her friend will cause her resentment and bitterness, as if her friend had deprived her of something with her achievements and, having achieved success, ensured the failure of the envious person. "
How to stop such destructive emotions? "Well, of course, you can say that you should not be jealous," says Dr. Norton. It's like asking a person not to worry when he's worried. Feeling is a feeling, and it is almost impossible to get rid of it, especially if it's envy. We can help people who are experiencing pain, anger, depression and frustration. But envy is something inclusive. Instead of influencing feelings, we can try to help a woman look at things differently. "
One of the women with whom Dr. Norton was involved, for example, was very envious of her neighbor. "According to my patient, this woman has beautiful children. They learn well, always say the right things, do what they should, and parents are very proud of them. The children of my patient could not stand comparison, she says.
I helped her to look at things from the other side. I asked her to tell me what she liked about her children. And she honestly named several excellent qualities. Then I asked her: "Could things be worse for them than they really are?" Of course, she immediately understood what I was getting at. Children could get sick or become addicted to drugs.
A different view of things also helps to understand the feelings of the person you are jealous of, continues Dr. Norton. I asked my patient: "Do you think your neighbor, too, like you, believes that she is all excellent? Do you think she envies anyone? I meant that you can always find someone who has more than you. And what of that? "