My Blog: Jokes jokes jokes stories




Comes dwarf the store: - Weigh me, please, seven grams of cheese. - Are you kidding me? - If I were mocked, then I asked to be cut.


Judged Chukchi, who does not know a word in Russian, so the interpreter sits next. Referee: - It is true that you do business? Chukchi: - Yes. Translator: - He says yes. Referee: - And it's true that you have gained from the transaction is $ 500 000? Chukchi: - Yes. Translator: - He says yes. Referee: - Tell us where you are hiding money. Chukchi: - I can not say. Translator: - He says he does not say. Referee: - Tell him that if he did not say he would be shot. Chukchi: - Well, I hid them under a yurt. Translator: - He says he does not care.


- Where are we going and Piglet - a big, big secret! - Oh, Winnie, and I forgot to bring paper!


- Mom, Mom, why do my girlfriends dream of erotic dreams, and I was some strange airships, cucumbers and bananas!


10. Branded toilet paper adorned with your photos. 09. During the hard work you throw balls of paper and just pebbles. 08. Instead of the computer you have identified a slate and abacus. 07. Your intern sucks in your presence only candies. 06. Do you pay salaries only in metallic coins. 05. On the day of birth of colleagues give you a white shirt with a target on his chest. 04. On the door of your office are painted two large scratch. 03. Request for your dismissal was signed by all your colleagues. 02. Picture of your wife is worth at least a further 12 desks of your colleagues. 01. You are the boss!


- Mom, I'm never going to eat mushrooms! - Why, son? - Yesterday I promised them!


A LIFE. Mom, porridge, spoon, cat, book, bright cover, Pinocchio, Karabas, satchel, school, first class, dirt in a notebook, three, two, dad cry, dressing down, summer, work, barn, straw, autumn, scrap metal collection Pushkin, Darwin Kromvel, Ohm, Robespierre, Hapoleon, Mendeleev, Herostrat, ball farewell, a certificate, college, exam nerves, competition, lectures, the course first, training, seminars, singing, dancing, containers, bars, beauty! Hravitsya! Attracted Session ..., spring, set-building group, heat, work, visits, newspapers, photos, hostels, "pass" and "minuscule", radiogram, television, pencil, pen, house, fifth year, the project, the diploma, vacation , sea, ship, Krym, Ai-Petri, camping, Kuhlman, chief, quarter-end, department, section, the shaft plan ZHSK, garage, apartment, mother-in-law, son, wife, Elvira, kindergarten, bike, cards, chess, neighbor, heart, liver, overweight, grandchildren, a social security pension, anniversary clocks, award speech, monument, fence ...


Man comes to the circus through the back door. Suitable for a keeper, and said: - A hde door? - As where? Here they are. - No, DOORS hde? - Yes here, behind you! - Damn, DOORS, DOORS !!! TLONY, TOBATKI, TUTLIKI !?


The first of September, the first class. The teacher says: - Children, you have come to the school. Here you need to sit quietly, and if something you want to ask, raise your hand. Little Johnny pulls a hand. - What did you want to ask, Little Johnny? - No, just check how the system works.


Little Johnny returns home from a party. In the hallway of his apartment for a long time groping hands on the wall. Suitable his mother: - Little Johnny, what are you looking for? - Leave me alone. - Yes, you tell me, what are you looking for? Maybe I know. - Your mother had only to get away from home, have the door walled up.


Dear visitors ! We remind you that: 1. Express Card - sold payment in cash (to the right, the next room). 2. "Put on the account" can be in the same place. 3. Tariff change - in front of the Service Department. 4. "won roaming" - Ibid. 5. "Put roaming" in the same place. 6. In general, there are such beasts unknown to science as: "JK Rowling", "romling", "roving" and "diamond". And "ramen" too !!! 7. Restore SIM-card - the same place. 8. Take a printout can be in the service of the Fin. Control (right diagonally). 9. All price lists with the new (and old) the rates are on the desk. 10. The cheapest fare not exist in nature !!! 11. The most profitable too. 12. And the most comfortable, too. (There are only the most "rational", the most "local", the most "active", etc.) 13. Instructions for telephones, we do not sell separately. 14. Cards BI + we have !!! 15. And we do not know where they are sold !!! !!! 16. Cards MCC there too !!! 17. See paragraph 15. 18. Cards "SONET" "and TOO !!! !!! !!! 19. See paragraph 17. 20. Internet - cards have also not !!! !!! !!! 21. What is the "Beeline" we do not know 22. Do not connect to it, respectively, 23. Here we have -.. oNLY "MTS" 24. tariff "Jubilee" is only in the MCC "Economy" is also 25.... MCC is we do not know 26. In the uS, we do not "take" 27. Uttering the phrase "MTS" such as "stealing money" you are risking your life 28. "Megaphone" -.. a device for voice amplification 29. The question type. "I need a phone to 300 km from Moscow took" Kara lecture on GSM networks working principles 30. all vehicles "sensitivity," "pickup" and so on -. 31. The same tariffs "No monthly fee" there. . only in advertising 32. B / Ear phones we have, and we do not accept and do not plan .. 33. Set "Taksafon" - is not the CD 34. Miniklaviatura for Ericsson really worth 58 rubles, it's not a typo. .... 35. Phones we will not charge. 36. If you buy 2 phones at once, discounts are not given. 37. Tariff "Summer" operates in the summer, fall, winter, perhaps, well, perhaps in the spring too. 38. Blyayayaya! How do you get it!


- Vasily Ivanovich, you for whom: for "The Beatles" or "Rolling Stones"? - Lennon And for whom?


Do not rush to pay off those who stole your wife. He will soon have himself to repent.


- Well, then how, Nastya! .. - Yes ... But I do not ... Nastya - still good.


Razgovop in vyshem LIGHT: -What do you not eat apbuz? -Uhi Stain.


-What Telecommunication between kultupy and kiss? -What Kultupy above, the lower the kiss.


Vpach cppashivaet patient: -How cpite? -In Pajamas without shoes and in the dark ..


In the hospital. - The patient, wake up! - What happened? - I brought you a sleeping pill.


Commander: - I look, fellow student, you are too smart. - Who am I? - Well, I'm not the same!


On the rail is a rat. Worker (raising her tail): - I, too, Anna Karenina!


- Mom, Dad came. What we will show him at first - my diary or your new dress?


Children talking in kindergarten: - We have two moms, and everyone has their own room! - And we have three mothers and everyone has a bike! - And us, and us, and we have a mother of seven and everyone has their dad!


konetsformynachaloformyOn gently hugged her and said: - I am your first man? She stared at him, then said: - Maybe, then, I think, where I've seen you before


Village. Evening. Grandfather goes out of the house. A few seconds later heard two shots, dog squealing pigs and heart-rending cry. Santa comes back into the house on his belt dangles a dead crow on his right hand through the ass wearing a dog on the left - (just) a pig. - TV ... Broke TV, yoptvayumat! A good night kids Bring him anyway! =)


Gauloises smoke for two weeks - a stylish blue spots on his face did not appear ... Maybe not smoke ?!


Cizhu here, working. Strange - that's why 5-kopeck coin breaks the right nostril and the left there?


Women Talk: Oh-oh-oh! This was spectacular! First he gave me a huge bouquet of roses! Then he drove to schikarny expensive restaurant: there we drank expensive wine, and at the end of the evening, he kissed me! After we went to it! Soft music, dim lights, a little champagne! He gently hugged me, kissed me and took a star from the sky! THREE TIMES!!! Talk of men: Yes? -Yes. -Krasavcheg!


The guy asks his friend: - Natasha, you kept my gift? - None - had an abortion!


An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian boast their wives. - When my wife rides on horseback, - said the Englishman, - her feet reach the ground. Not because of undersized horse, but because my wife's long legs! - I'm his wife hug the waist with two fingers of one hand - the French say - not because I have a big hand, but because my wife has a narrow waist! - Before going to work, - said Russian - I clap my wife's ass. And when yus returns to work, she was still shaking her. Not because my wife's ass is flabby, and because we in the USSR is the shortest in the world of the working day!


Work every day brings with it a plant for breakfast - a sandwich with anchovies. One day he came Therefore sekrktar Party Committee: - Tomorrow factory visit foreign delegation, so that you, Ivan, take out of the house Therefore anything better! The next day, Ivanov foreigners different eyes returned and ate a sandwich with caviar! - Good for you, do not disappoint! - Says he then secretary. - How did you manage to get the caviar? - All night did not sleep, the eyes of sprats vykovyri- shaft ...


Foreign Correspondent, the examining of the Soviet factory, accompanied by the Secretary of the Party Committee, interviews tucked worker. - How much do you get? - One hundred rubles ... - Responsible worker and osekaet- smiling, seeing the terrible eyes of the Secretary - ... per week! - He adds. - What is your apartment? - I have one room ... - Says worker - .Oknami south one - facing east and one - to the west! - What are your hobbies? - 30 centimeters - bryakaet work and sees the secretary clutched his head. - The diameter! - Says he.


The House in the maternity hospital. Bypass professor. Questions and answers ... It turned out that all gathered to give birth in one day - October 1st. Professor surprised. He explains: - And we are one of the New Year was celebrated.


Girl passing grades to the right of driving, the car stopped at an intersection, opened the door and went out. Instructor surprised: - Where are you? - I want to see around the corner, not going and someone ...


The customer browses the account of the lawyer: - What does it mean: "Tips during a lunch break?" - Do not you remember? - Surprised the lawyer. - I then recommend you order the fish fillets.


Hare went fishing and caught a goldfish. At this time, I am passing by the wolf and took the fish a rabbit. They began to argue who fish fulfill three wishes. - Do not quarrel, - said Fish. - I will fulfill three wishes to you both. Who first? - Of course I - the wolf said. - Guessing - Fish said. - My first wish: let my dick will be up to the knees ... Fish fulfilled his desire. - Second, even if all the women in the forest want to surrender to the wolf. - It will be in your opinion, - said Fish. - Third, let me in bed the next day comes the beauty queen among wolves, and allows you to bring all that I wish ... - and that fulfill your desire, - said Fish. - And now, you, bunny. Hare took the fish to hand. - Firstly, let me be "Mercedes". Immediately next appeared "Mercedes". - Secondly, even if I will have a million dollars in a Swiss bank and a million rubles here. In the back seat, "Mercedes" appeared two checkbooks. Hare took the wheel and drove off. - And the third wish? - Asks fish. Hare was silent. - And the third wish? - Again asks fish. Hare rode a good distance out of the car and walked to the river and releasing the fish in the river said: - And the third wish: that the wolf was not dick.


Once there was one in our Power Jewish family. They decided to take off to their historical homeland, and Isaac - one brother and his family moved to Israel and Abram - second - to stay in Russia. It comes somehow Abram for his family to visit and discovers that Isaac got his own shop. Abram comes to his shop and finds a picture here: standing behind the counter of Isaac, and before him by the buyer. Isaac: - Well, you bought me a fishing rod - and you catch it from the shore? Buy a boat - zaplyvesh in the middle of the lake, more than catch! - Let's boat - the buyer is responsible. - Well, do you have a boat. Imagine: you Rybachy - it began to rain. What will you do? Uh-uh! We must navesik you buy! - Says Isaac. - Well, let's also navesik - says the buyer. - See, you go fishing, sailed - where will you live? You need to buy a tent, you will live in it - assures the buyer Isaac. - Well, I'll still tent. Buyer gathered all in a pile of leaves. As soon as the door closes behind him, his brother Abram sprashivet: - Hey, how are you ECCD sell him a pile of junk? - I myself am amazed - meets Isaac. - Actually his wife monthly, he said to me for the wool came, and I said to him: "What are you going for a week in the city to do - Go on a fishing trip ..."


There is a guy on the field, mowing. On his chest hung a transistor radio. "Dear residents of the farms Chui region" - broadcast receiver. "Last night in the village Zyutkeli landed flying saucer on it to us flew amiably minded humanoids If you meet them, please, no sudden movements, in plain intelligible terms, explain who you are, where what you do -.. Do not be afraid, they are not will do you no harm Signs aliens:. squat, hands to the ground, face red, eyes slightly bulging Please, if you meet any of them, tell the regional center for the UFO problem "Man grinned in his beard (" Look, come up.. gorodstkie are these! ") and easy mowing on. Dokos until the end of the clearing, povorachivet back, looks - bah! is sitting! The squat, hands to the ground, face is red and bulging eyes! The man says, trembling lips: - Grass ... - shows on earth - Spit ... - on the spit - the cleaver ... - poking a finger at himself - mow ... - shows the corresponding process. The alien word. - Grass Mower ... Kos ... ... ... Kosh - repeats the man. Again silence. The man stopped too - not good, you see .. Suddenly an alien comes to life and showing in the forest, says: - Forest ... - shows itself - a forester ... sit ... shit ...


There is a divorce, the husband asked, they say that you are forced to file for divorce -And she insulted me, asshole nazvala.-Under what circumstances Yes I come home, she's sleeping with some guy, saw me and said,? Look, asshole, how it's done!


The teacher asked an essay on the topic "What would you do if you got a million?" Half an hour later one kid stood up and walked over to her, holding two sheets with what - the calculations. - Excuse me, Miss, - he said - and whether to add another 100 thousand is impossible?


Two men arguing about the quality of goods. First: That we somehow man welled with 20 floors, a yard from the ground suspenders caught and remained alive, and braces are intact. Second: It is garbage we have here is one with 8 floors welled itself to bits and felt boots as good as new!


- I'm your bald nothing sdelat syllable. Refer to the surgeon. He would cut the hair so that was enough for the rest.


- I have been to several doctors and no one disagrees n your diagnosis. - Well, wait for the autopsy.


- The doctor at me depression. - Plunge headlong into the work. What are you doing? - Kneading concrete ...


-My Dear, but why in the glove compartment of your car, I found Vogue cigarettes? -It Masha left, we fucked her in my car ... Do not lie! Masha does not smoke! -A ... Then she asks from work, probably ... I did somehow picked up ... remember, returned home late at night? -You're lying again! Sveta smokes Marlboro! - Maybe Julia had left? -Yulka Smokes menthol. And those were menthol. -Okay. All. She pressed. I can not hide anymore ... I must confess to you ... It's hard to do that, but will probably need. You just do not worry, okay? Well ... yes ... I sometimes smoke menthol Vogue. But very rarely! Do you hear? RARELY!


Standing camel-son and father-camel. Son: Dad, why do we need a hump on its back? Father: In the hump, my son we accumulate water and when we go through the desert we are not thirsty. From: Dad, why do we need such hooves? A: It is to walk on the sand and the legs do not provlivalis. S: And why do we need such a big and hard lips? A: It is to the desert could have thorns C: Then Dad tell me, why the heck we all this tuning in Saratov zoo ...?


> Artificial Intelligence>> "I came a man in a sex shop. > -I Want to, say, the rubber Babu, Th recommend. > -Please Have the latest model with artificial intelligence. > -A Than good? > -Kusaetsya, Scratch - like the real thing. > Oh! cool, receive, wrap. > -Sorry, But the instructions to it had not yet been transferred to the Chinese, no one knows how to use, come to her in two weeks. > Do not let us right now, we explain how something. > Well, we warned. The only request to visit us again, when will understand, tell us how to use it, so that we can explain to the clients. > Do not question. > Two days later, the man returned, the entire bitten, scratched. > Thank you, says, very satisfied, scratches, bites like a real. > -A Expressed in artificial intelligence? > Ah, yes, what is expressed? > - It does not. " >> After the anecdote story one girl with a dreamy expression on his face told her thoughts aloud. This proved to be an order of magnitude steeper joke:> "Ah, I would have this artificial intelligence, well, at least a modicum"


On the border of British: The customs officer: - Your name? - Abdul Said. - Sex? - Four times a week. - No, no - male, female ... - Male, female, sometimes camel ...


On the top shelf compartment car rides man. Suddenly, at the station in the compartment includes a queen. She pulls out the vodka, snack and with gusto all uses. The man thinks that would be nice and talk tie, and begins: - nice lady like you even call that? - A Th call me - right now, I drink, and she climbed zakushu!


- Mr Zhirinovsky, is it true that in your country the housing crisis? - Nonsense. These silly rumors spread by those who have nowhere to live.


Propaganda campaign for the nomination of candidates for something there. The apartment go agitators with leaves - Sign here on the list for our candidate ... - And who is this and where? - Well, Ivan Ivanov ... - Oh! Yes, I know him! - Well, excuse me, just like that.


Sobchak proud: - I can not - he says - to ride in the same car as my chauffeur!


- Yesterday I got sick wife, and now her mother came to take care of it. - Yeah, the trouble never comes alone.


- And you always hamster paws up sleeping?


After celebrating two men meet New Year: - Well, I met a holiday? - Do not know, have not yet been told ...


Huge Shepherd attacked gasman. - Do not be afraid, do not be afraid - shouting hostess - she has already made a shot against rabies.


Announced in the Army competition for the best company. The winning company of the N2 from N31188. Defense Minister presents the award to the commander and said: - Well, Captain, how did you manage? - Comrade General, actually, we have 30 years of Ensign Filippenko is to his credit. The minister is coming to an ensign: - Well, Ensign, how did you manage? - Button !!! - What, what?? - Button, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah ... - What, what ??? Captain whispered: - Button collar, Comrade General, but it does not repeat a third time.


Comes a man visiting a friend in the village. Winter, Frost, who sits on the stove, tipsy, harmonica flexing. - Wow! - Where's the wife? - Yes, out in the street chopping wood. - Listen, something is wrong! You are here in the warmth of playing the accordion, and she chops firewood in the cold! - What do I do if it is to play the harmonica does not know how!


Not think about it! If you think - do not tell. If you think and say - do not write. If you think, say and write - do not sign. If you think, speak, write and sign - do not be surprised.


House. In man sitting chair. Suddenly the door opened, he looks and his dog there. (M) - Are you drunk? (C) - No! (M) - Come to bark! (C) - Woof-woof-woof ... (m) - Well Polay! (C) - Lai-lai-lai ...


Dialogue ICQ Kuzenka: How to work ??? Salt Elephant: n .... i Salt Elephant: s ..... Do Kuzenka: Finger squeezed ???


Suitable Hare (B) to the lion (A) (B) Hello Uncle Leo Leo ignores Hare continues to stick, and so several times, finally .. (L) Well, Che you? (B) please Uncle Lion tomorrow I will go there, say hello to me please! and the next day the hare goes through the woods with her friend .. (L) Hello Bunny! (B) A fuck you fuck.


Late evening. Noisy company. Mimo is a passer. His brakes: - Oh, man, you do not smoke there? Passer freezes for a second. Then begins a loud sniff, takes off his jacket, pants, Razuvaev, puts it on top of everything and puts another wallet. Steps aside and squeezes through his teeth: - When did you just Nakuru!


Manager: - Attention, a board 135, calling on the link! - On-board 135 connected! - Connect to the microphone of the first pilot. - It is not possible, the first pilot drunk. - Then, the co-pilot ... - The co-pilot was drunk. - Give then commander! - A commander was taken to the sobering-up station still on the ground. - Who is talking to me? - I-hic! Av-in-vtop-pilot!


Little Johnny dons rubber boots. My mother says to him: - Little Johnny, the street is dry, the mud and puddles there. - I find - he says cheerfully.


The teacher asked an essay on the topic: "If I was the director of the company". All carefully written, and only Little Johnny looks out the window. - Why are not you writing? - I expect the secretary!


Little Little Johnny does not want to sleep. Father to sit at his crib and begins to tell his tale. Describes an hour or two. Finally, there is silence in the room. Mother quietly opens the door and asks: - He fell asleep? - Yes, Mama, - whispers the son.


It hurts to look at the true creators who are unaware that they have sat and did go. I really like the heroine of the novel of Leo Tolstoy's "War and Peace", especially when she is dancing at the ball with Stirlitz. Many writers have taken to delve into the human soul (and often unwashed hands). But do not compare them, not Dostoevsky, master of socio-psychological novel. My father - the driver of long voyage bus. My dad on father profession. Young hearts could not sit still, and walked with long strides towards communism.


My faithful friend - a friend Tolia. We will not forget you, our beloved Taras Bulba, for your courageous geroichestvo. On the river bank milkmaid milking a cow, and reflected in the water all the way around. The picture drawn by a girl, a dog and her grandmother. On my chest is burning red five-pointed star with curly Vo lodey. On the field of battle cries and moans of the dead. At kennel Troyekurov have been racing dogs. On sledge riding merry faces of children. Napoleon was ill with cancer and died at St. Helena.


We are surrounded by the society around products, "little man", and we are also the products of this company, and it is good that this product is substandard. Natasha was a true Russian nature, very fond of nature and often went out into the yard. Natasha has been associated with the people of a red thread. Natasha Rostova wanted to say something, but to open the doors shut her mouth. Our ancestors made the revolution naked, barefoot, in sandals. Sky Austerlitz broke the Bolkonski half.


Zvernennya Vіktora President Yushchenko to the people of Ukraine Shanovna ukraїska Gromada, vimushen viznati scho polіtichnі Sealy, scho protyagom ostannіh tizhnіv of Namangan dosyagti porozumіnnya zaradi Ednannya Kraina to ostannіh hvilin yshli not on deeds, vіddayuchi perevagu movі ultimatumіv. On Happiness pіvgodini that situation suttєvo zm|nilasya. Viktor Yanukovych in zayshov miy kabіnet in kamuflyazhі vіyskovosluzhbovtsya NATO s gvintіvkoyu M-16, he danced hopak that read "Zapovіt" without papіrtsya, tobto napam'yat! Druzі, Tsey derzhavnitsky vchinok not mіg zalishiti mene bayduzhim. I am submitting a candidacy lіdera Partії rengtonіv on rozglyad Parliament. Spodіvayus, deputies pіdtrimayut chiu that a married poryadnu Lyudin. Dyakuyu for uwagi


Scottish boy came into the store, the owner handed pot and says - Pour me here honey twenty pence. Well, he poured. The boy takes the pot and says - And the money you bring Dad tomorrow - I know your "tomorrow"! Selected pot, pour the honey, and put the boy out the door. And he walked around the corner looked into the pot and says, well, that Dad was right. There would be enough for a couple of sandwiches!


Physicist-Jew comes to the Visa Office: F: - I would like to emigrate. Official: - Why should you, we will create a haven, will work for your pleasure! P: - Yes, I would, but my wife really wants ... H: - Well persuade her! P: - Yes, I would, but my mother-in-law from the very want ... H: - Well, yes finally, they let themselves go, and you stay! P: - Yes, I would, but that's just I was the only Jew in the family ...


Night. On a deserted street is a woman. Suddenly he sees - a man running behind her. She wrapped on another street, he followed her; He turned into the alley, and he followed her. I ran into a nine, and he ran. It is the ninth, and he was on the ninth. Chimes in all the apartments - no one opened it in fear against the wall, closed her eyes .. He runs up to her, puts a hand on his shoulder: - And now you're gaining on me!


Young stenographer after boss dictated a letter to her: - Could you repeat that it was between the "Dear ..." and "Sincerely"?


Head - secretary: - What do you write love letters at work, I can understand, but why are you giving them to me for signature?


They talk to two secretaries-typists: - You seem to have graduated from the Institute of Heavy Machinery? - Yes, but then I decided to choose a car easier.


The lesson of Russian literature in the Georgian school. The teacher: - Well-ka, Gogi, tell us Russian verse. Gogi gets up and starts (talk with a distinctive accent): - Cock, Cockerel, golden comb, in the morning he sings, the children sleep does not, I fucked his mom's mouth $ l.


Register new Russian ppihodit the store - I Popsh ... Said - done! Gone. Chepez hour ppiezzhaet: - I have been there ... ... flew kopobka myzhik smotpeli-smotpeli - for sure! Kopobka .. .. In tyda in general! Not the Problems - by a warranty of replaced! Chepez hour the same PROBLEMS! Myzhik - Slyhay! Come on we'll laugh our padi imprison - yzh intepesno painful as it flies! - OK! Edyt! The first speed - 60, the second - 100, third - 180, fourth - 250, fifth - 310, sixth - 360 ..... - A tepep ... ROCKET! He said the new Russian, vpybaya pychazhok tyda where bykovka napisovana R ...


Comes Georgians in store. - Give me candy, whatever they are called? "I love you" ... - ??? - Well ... "You're it" ... - ??? - And, I remember, "Pineapple"!


Georgian policeman stops a car. - Rights. - Here daragoy, pzhalsta ... - Get out, it is necessary to examine the interior. - No problem, daragoy, pzhalsta ... - Open the trunk. - Listen daragoy I give tebe 10 thousand and we ne budem otkirivat bagazhnyk. - Open the trunk! - Daraga, 50 thousand? - Roof !!! - 200 thousand !? Policeman sees that it smells like the blood - a gun. - Discover !!! - Listen daragoy I tebe 200,000 suggested? And you refused? Here tebe trunk pzhalsta ... And it's empty. Tilt Wheel, cable ... Policeman in amazement: - So what are you speaking? - Uh, daragoy, I'm with you "Field Chudes" played!


Two Georgians sleep. One: - Goga, it's your cock in my ass? - Yes, now pulled out. - I tebe vitaschu, let's go to sleep.


Student dormitory. In the room she runs and shouts: - The girls, shoot more cowards - we are now the boys come to visit! Pause ... The rustle of skirts ... - What are you doing fools !!? With ropes shoot!


In the corridor, a veterinarian sitting three dogs - Shepherd, Doberman, and aside from their dog. Waiting for admission, talking. Doberman Shepherd asks: - Why are you here? - Why, do castration brought. - For what? - Yes, I was left alone to guard the house, suddenly from under the fence can smell - technaya bitch runs. Well, I'm behind it. While it found as fuck, house was surrounded. Rented coats were taken away, the technique, the safe opened. In general, the owner said he would not dick me more of knots Dangle. - Yes, I have something not much better. I went at night with the owner in the park for a walk. I feel - somewhere bitch technaya runs. I followed her until her dryuchil, mistress fuck itself, the ring was removed, coat removed. In general, I also have to castration. Hey, let's ask at the dog, he is poor, too, probably was. - I, too, was left alone with the mistress of the house, - says the dog - woke up, ate and drank, look: it comes from the soul, all rosy, transparent penyuarchike, odorous. She got back to me, bent over the bed to fill ... Well, I could not stand how planted it! - Well, you, poor fellow was! - No, you got it. I somehow brought here for a manicure.