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From life. Electric train Friday, evening, vestibule. In the vestibule, several people are smoking at one door, another is a man with a hefty rottweiler ... An auditor enters from the car. At first, to the smokers, and after some brief wrangling, the side approaches the dog's owner. He honestly draws a ticket, and then the dialogue: - You also need to take a ticket to the dog! - So this is the dog ... - Then your ticket? - Want - I can go out ...


From life. A friend went to the woods for mushrooms: - Yesterday the cat almost killed na ... - For what, Sasha ?! - I sit, clean the mushrooms - and she does not do a fucking shit !!!


From life. I come to visit friends. A familiar picture is in the iron door of the entrance - instead of an intercom, there is a terrible ragged wound. Between conversations I ask - is it always with you? Daughter of friends - a charming girl of 18 years old says: - This is a drunk man with an ax, he wanted to decide someone. I was leaving the house at that moment. I hear blows to the iron door - I think they are repairing something, but just in case I open it a little and look out - I see a bloody drunk peasant with an ax and quickly slam the door back .... I hear a voice: - Girl, open! I am NOT TO YOU! True freedom begins when you have two superiors. Popcorn, pop art, pop culture ... but Piz, for some reason only - Dets! Change the anger of the day to the joy of the night. Most of all in life a man is afraid to wake up before his wife makes up. In Kung Fu, the stork school is the most popular. The fighters of this school bring children. A charity evening took place in Moscow. All funds collected on it will go to the morning recovery of the participants in the evening. A new breed of ostrich has been developed. At the moment of fright, they not only put their heads under the ground, but also calmly feed on moles there. I went girl on the sea. She herself did not rest, and she did not give to others ... There is no such dating site yet in the network where crocodiles would not be found ... There must be some mystery in a woman! Otherwise, how to explain her ability to make a mess? Sex bombs, sex bombs! .. Yes, they are - ugh and grind without our, male, warheads! The scale of a person's personality is determined by the scale of the problems that fuck him ... If Alwaus is a gasket, then what should happen when you press the Alwacs on tor button?


Driving school ... What car? Chiefs cook!


It turns out that only triangular signs are installed on the roads in Kazakhstan ... Because the round sign is good to close the barrel with grain, and from the square it turns out an excellent snow shovel.


Siberian city, tour of the Mariinsky Theater. A woman comes to the checkout - a kind of new Russian businesswoman. - How much are the tickets? The cashier answers. Lady in indignation: - No! Wow! No, you think. Artists come from some hole, from Marinska fucking - and the prices are like on Pugacheva!


The Russian couple lost the dance competition. For two hours, Sergey did not dare to invite Galina.


Commentator boxing match: "Yes, now it is clear to everyone that our boxer wins the American on points. It was very, very careless on the part of the enemy to enter the ring in och kah!".


Commentator at the Olympics: - And now I will introduce you to those who float on the back of women ...


Interviewing the Nobel laureate. The correspondent asks how the process of scientific thinking. The scientist answers - well, so, they say, and so, in the laboratory, in the library ... The correspondent is not far behind - and at home you continue to think? Well, how do you come to the opening? Scientist: - Well, here's an example ... For a long time my wife and I had it like this - we go to bed and my wife says - something hurts my head. Well, this naturally led to me constantly thinking about how to deal with this problem. Then one day it dawned on me, and I discovered ... Correspondent: ... a way to discover a super analgin ?! - Well no. Found that the neighbor never locks the door on the key ...


A man climbs the stairs to his home. Meet the neighbor-alcoholic. - Oh, and I just went to you, borrow money. - Well, it's you in vain - I’m not at home ... My neighbor tensely ponders upon someone else’s speech. - And why? A man with a smile replies: - I have not come yet! The drunk nods his head and stomps down to himself ...


Husband at the sex therapist: - Doctor, my wife sent you. She does not like that I finish earlier than her. - Much earlier? - An hour and a half. - Lord, what are you doing all this time? - I get home ...


American women often say: "You can take my body, but my mind - never!" It's right. I was looking for - they have no mind.


- Girl, you want to relax with me? Let's go bowling, have a barbecue, sit in the jacuzzi? - Want! - What is your name? - Klava! - Hmm ... So, so, Klava, the program is changing somewhat: lapta, pies with liver, shower!


Attention, moles-killers appeared. They attack the ostriches and bite off their heads.


George Bush is learning to play chess. He already knows how the pawn walks. Now he will be taught how another pawn walks.


The new sponsor of the Metalist football club, Kharkiv Bicycle Plant, has allocated 11 bicycles for the team's away matches.


- Where do you come from? - From under Peter. - Now everything is from under Peter. More specifically. - Bishkek.


“Why are your parties so funny, and nobody goes to my parties?” - Dosya, the main thing is good powder!


In the video rental: the receptionist, a young guy, checking the cassettes returned by the girl, sternly asks: - Do you know that you have a delay? She replies with a smile: - In principle, I guessed ...


- Boy, you have a bag full of holes! All the top five will lose! - I have no fives! And twos - fuck them!


The tax inspector goes to the supermarket - he looks at which boutique is coming up ... Looks - the buyer comes out of one, in a new leather jacket. - Your check! Nope Come ... Sellers puchat eyes resorted mistress. Nalogach: - Sale without a check is illegal, etc. The hostess gives him a sign to stay together. “The buyer is my lover, and explain how to get a check for three sticks and one cunnilingus for him? !!”


- Listen, Misha. And who does the girl work for you? - Welder. - And you have it big? - Yes, normal, with a figure. - What is the name? - Anton. - Misha - what are you, not that? - You really, or what? How could you think so !!! I am so! Anton is not like that ...


Shooting porn. Director: - So! Camera! Motor! ... Stop! Stop! Why are their bodies dry? Where is the sweat? Requisitor! Where is the prop! ... so, well ... Camera! Motor! ... Stop! Stop! Stop! ... Why is she wearing shoes ?! Put on her boots! Dresser! Where is the dresser? !!! ... so, well ... Camera! Motor! ... STOP! STOP! STOP! ... Doesn't it cost him? !!! DIRECTOR! Where is the DIRECTOR ??????





Happiness is in money, for which you do not need to be in prison ... God also loves humor. Especially weather forecasts. A group of scientists found that computer viruses are born from virtual sex. Knowledge is not transmitted sexually, but it is quite possible to earn an estimate ... Political correctness is an elementary fear of getting pussies covered with a wrapper of universal humanism and fraternity. Love for flat-breasted women is the first step to homosexuality. In fact, God sent the Jews not to the wilderness! In the beginning - under them was the sea. Absolutely useless, cheap sea ... Did you know that curiosity killed more virgins than love. Sometimes untimely hair removal stops a girl from doing rash acts. With constant repetition, only mate loses its meaning. The principle of unity and struggle of the people with the authorities: everyone agrees, nothing is done without bribes, but no one agrees with the tariffs. He swore a three-letter word long ...


- I translated my grandmother across the road. - Oh, you only translate grandmothers!


- Dear, well, let's have sex soon? - Just do not push me! - Good! You will be on top!


- Man! Where are you going? This is a female toilet. Yes, even with a shepherd dog ... - She is my girl! In the men's toilet to go shy ...


Headline news in Yandeh: "Students from Africa are scary in Russia." It's scary for them to visit - what is it like for us to live here?


- Mama! Mama! Leave me a couple of candies to try ... - I tried! Leave fails.


“Doctor, my heart is tingling.” - Opanki ... so you have an aspen stake there ...


At the interview, the director of the restaurant asks questions to the girl who wants to work as a waitress. Suddenly, unexpectedly, the director grabs her on the ass and gets a slap from her. Director: - Well, why are you lying to me that you have experience?


- Mom, give me some juice! - While you do not eat soup, I will not give! - Mom, come on, give me some juice! - I'm not giving it! - Mom, well, I can not without zapivona !!!


- You heard, they can drink from the Dnieper! - Just think! We can eat from the Rhine!


When I’m old I’ll go to my grandchildren as in the 80s I went to my relatives in Ukraine without a passport, customs, prints and checking the anus ...


- How did you become famous? - I was lucky with the image maker. When he saw me for the first time, he immediately said: "Thrust your lousy tie in the ass!" I listened to him. That was a success! The audience was ecstatic when I did it right on stage.


“When did Duncan MacLaud's mother know that her son is immortal?” - After the third abortion.


- Marivanna, and Marivanna - why was it earlier right to say "in Ukraine", and now - "in Ukraine"? - Well, how can I explain to you, Vova ... We don’t say "ON deep ass".


Son returns home late, father asks: - What is so long - traffic jams? - If only traffic jams ... I visited five accidents today! - Oh my God! How did this happen? !! - Weather: fog, rain, and in the evening it froze ... - The weather is terrible - but FIVE accidents !!! - Well, not only because of the weather, a few of my skillful actions ... - ARE SKILLED? !! - Of course, skillful ... On one rear bumper, I collected half a thousand bucks!


- Tanya! And why did you even come to this city? - I came to do ... not good ...


- Honey, did you buy Fairy? - Dear - “Fae” was not there, I bought vodka ... I think half an hour later we will have dirty dishes on the drum !!!


- And at the end of the speech, I would like to share the observation: on March 8, we give the girls so many flowers that it feels as if they are in proportion with Caucasians ...


- Fairy tale. And Vasilisa the Beautiful went to where Vasilisa the Wise would not have dared!


- Well, here we are in Minsk! - You what! So you can not say, just as the Nazis said!


- Lena? - Hi, Vasya! - Hello, Lena ... You know, I fell in love with Masha! - Masha ?! And what about me?!! - Sorry, I completely forgot! How are you, Lena?


- What is your name? - Hope. - Well, die the last ...


- Professor, and I get a gun? - Yes ... and boots.


"Belt of loyalty to the ideals of freedom and democracy" ... I wonder what that would mean?


- How were the girls selected for the casting for the shooting of the video !? - How ... how ... By "spear", of course ...


- Doctor, it seems to me that I am Ivan the Terrible ... - So, of course. I'll write out the medicine for you now ... - Write, write, dog stinking ...


- Simpotnye legs ... what time do they open?


- Man, man, where are you - do not want to take part in a win-win lottery? - Is she exactly a win-win? - Absolutely! - Ok, come on. Depart the corner. There stands a hefty Umbal. Ambal: - So, man - let's watch and wallet! Passerby: - ​​Is that a robbery? Ambal: - No, they told you - a win-win lottery. I have never lost!


The teacher checks the kindergarten's homework: "Description of home objects of a religious cult." Negro boy: - We have a statue of an aunt in the yard, with a golden circle above her head, in her arms baby. My mother kneels before her daily and prays quietly. Chinese girl: - And we have a copper house, sitting with crossed legs, a fat, cheerful little dummy. My parents burn candles daily in front of him. Jewish boy: - In our closet there is a flat stand with numbers. Every mom gets at her and shouts loudly, "Oh, God!"


Why are Russians invincible? When analyzing the Second World War, American military historians discovered an interesting fact. Namely, in the case of a sudden collision with the Japanese forces, the Americans, as a rule, made decisions much faster - and, as a result, even the superior forces of the enemy won. Having studied this pattern, scientists came to the conclusion that the average word length for Americans is 5.2 characters, while for the Japanese it is 10.8. Consequently, the return of orders takes 56% less time, which plays an important role in a short battle ... For the sake of "interest", they analyzed Russian speech - and it turned out that the word length in Russian is 7.2 characters per word (on average ), however, in critical situations, the Russian-speaking commanders switch to non-normative vocabulary - and the word length is reduced to (!) 3.2 characters in the word. This is due to the fact that some phrases and even phrases are replaced with one word. For example, the phrase: "32nd - I order you to immediately destroy the enemy tank, firing at our positions": - 32nd - Ёbni on this dick!


- Good fairy, how am I going to the ball? - Do you have a pumpkin? - Yes. - Throw it out! And then - I think - what stinks ?!


“As long as you are at the ball, I will do all the work for you.” What should be done? - Evil stepmother mixed a bag of millet and a bag of peas! - Okay, eat! What else?!


"... at a guilty plea, the suspect put up fierce resistance ..."


In childhood, when I was small and read the fairy tale "The Wizard of the Emerald City", I could not understand for a long time how a hurricane could carry a house away - it’s big and brick ... And only after many years did I find out that Americans, it turns out build houses as if they never read a fairy tale about three pigs ...


There are two: - Well, how did you rest? - So so. Everything is decent, full service, sea, beach, museums, excursions. - And we have wine, scuffle, police, jail !!! - Happy ...


Husband and wife are watching a horror movie. Horror appears on the screen. Wife: - Oh, mother ... Husband: - I recognized my mother, right? ...


After examining the results of recent tests, the doctor says to the patient: - I am very sorry, but I have bad news for you: you have a maximum of six months to live. The patient stared at one point and sat for a few minutes, after which he replied: - Well, I don’t have good news for you, doctor. Unfortunately, I have not yet fully paid the last installment of my health insurance and will not be able to pay you. “Okay,” says the doctor, “well, let's say, nine months ...”


- Wretched girl! They say you did Fedka a blowjob yesterday at the beach ?! - What are you, mom ?! He was bitten by a snake for his penis, and I sucked poison!


Tomorrow in our concert hall there will be a concert with the participation of the Rammstein and Aria groups. You can say goodbye to the concert hall the day after tomorrow ...


A successful businessman is asked: - How did you achieve such a success? After all, before failure just chased you? - Understand ... luck has always been to my back, so I started to fuck her hard. And she wanted to see - who gives her such pleasure ...


Ukrtelecom will launch a new project “Internet on sewage” under the slogan “Communication is shit, but the channel is wide”.


- I have a terrible temperature - shoot down, please hurry! - Well, for this we will introduce you aspirin intramuscularly, but it will be a little painful - the pill is still large ...


- And I was kidnapped by aliens! I only remember the dim light bulb, some buttons, upward movement ... - Why, aliens ... We were carrying you drunk in the elevator!


Our industry began to produce wallpaper with a ready-made adhesive layer, to activate which it is enough to hold the tongue on their surface ...


- Why do men turn white before women? - Because women have one egg, and a man has 10 million sperm. And for every soul hurts.


He rode once in a trolley bus, a woman sat down next to her and laid his head on his shoulder. He asked: - Who are you ?! - I'm nature! I rest on you ...


Two motorists brag about their wives: - My wife is like a Mercedes, just super! - And my wife is like Jaguar. If you tell her that she is worse than a Mercedes, she will tear her apart.


Phrases, after which sex instantly ends: - Damn, I’ll do coursework tomorrow ... - Vitaly Ignatievich, but can we assume that I worked this laboratory? “Young man, are you coming out next?” - Hello, Andrei Malakhov is with you ... - Hello! - Stop shot!


Two brothers decided to go fishing. We bought a jeep, a tackle, a scooter for such an affair, zatilis booze, food ... By the end of the week of drunkenness caught a small fish. One of them thought about it and said: “Count, Kolyan - this fish cost us almost a hundred bucks ... Kolyan also thought and said:“ It's good that we caught only one ... ”


- Excuse me, is it a tanning bed? - No, fuck - sugar!


Two men walking their dogs. They sat on the bench and watch their pets. Then one saw in the hands of another some gadget and asked: - What is this so interesting about you? - And this is my remote control dog. - Like this? - But look: I press the left button - it runs to the left, I press the right button - to the right. Now I press the middle one and she will run to me! - Uh !!! Why is she my Chapa fucking ?! !!! .. !! .. !! - Phew, damn it! Probably, the batteries are gone!


If you put your principles in the ass, then surely you still have a lot of things put in there. There is a lie, there is a big lie, there are statistics, and there is advertising. If a woman is not tormented for a long time, she begins to suffer herself. ... And every day he rolled a new Beta-Juliet in his "Alfa-Romeo" ... Stapler - piercing for the poor. 02 is not a number, but a whole program! St. Petersburg gays - this is not what the Moscow faggers ... Diuretic with Viagra - try to get into the toilet! When you finally can buy a sports car for yourself, you will not be able to get into it. Well, when joy does not come alone, but with a bottle! If you try to keep in a normal form - you are a narcissist of failure nick. If you don’t look after yourself, you’re a fallen loser. Only in Russia an unemployed citizen can differ from anywhere else not working many millions of times. Following the retirees, young people went out into the street demanding a free social package for themselves: beer, mobile, Internet.


- My hut is on the edge ... - And my hut is on the edge! - Ukraine - kind of edge to the edge!


- Honey, I made a decision - I quit drinking! - How? What for! Who will call me beautiful now ?!


- What should be done to airborne day passed quietly? - To appoint him for June 25 ... Maybe even a crowd of drunken graduates will stop this madness.


In the office, Lenin drinks tea in the bite with sugar, Dzerzhinsky comes in: - Vladimir Ilyich - why are you drinking tea in the bite? Is there sand? Lenin: - Does not dissolve anymore ...


The last conversation between Yushchenko and Tymoshenko. - Victor Andreevich - why are there so many remakes on Kuchma in your team? - You look at her ... Remakes, you see, a lot ... Do you want me to leave? And I'm not leaving! But you will leave! I'm sick of your orange blouse, your tits and your microphone! She got up and left!


- Well, how did you go for mushrooms? - Yes, yes ... Two bottles of vodka, 0.7 each, were drunk ... - Yes ... some crappy mushrooms this year ...


When Ilya Muromets was small, he loved to go to the forest for mushrooms. Once he met Snake Gorynych, twice Leshy, three times Kikimora. In general, the mushrooms were great ...


- Sick, if you feel well, I do not advise you to drink. - How, then, to be treated? ..


“I, like Ally, a girl from Kansas, agree with the ban on selling alcohol after ten in the evening ... And how Lena Borschov is offended and deprived of a personal life!”


As a child, little Misha reached only the 6th floor, and then he walked and cursed, because his mother taught him to count only to six, and dad to foul.


- Sivka-Burka, saying kaurka, stand in front of me like a leaf in front of grass ... - Ivan - would you be more specific how to stand up, otherwise our horses have an associative row something weaker ...


- Who is it screaming there so loud? - Yes, this is our neighbor, Katka, becomes pregnant ...


- Yes, Maxim, everyone knows that Nikolai is sleeping with your wife, but think about it - you could have been in his place ...


- Why have you not had concerts so long ago? - You know what - it was Mozart who had not had concerts for a long time ...


- Somehow the tall blue-eyed blond comes up to me and says: "Girl, you are a goddess who descended from heaven to earth" ... That is, when they need to, they speak Russian normally.


In the store: - Give me a rat seasoning. - Maybe a rat poison? - No, seasoning - to poison the rats in this hungry winter is too wasteful ...


In fact, Pinocchio did not marry Malvine, but Tortilla. Because youth is one thing, and the three hundred year experience is completely different ...


If master Ivanov is transferred to transfer erogenous zones: one - at the fingertip, the other - into the nostril, then during the shift he will experience such pleasure that he has never experienced in his entire family life.


There are two crest in the forest. - O-pa-us ...! - I am not Opanas, I Gritsko. - O-pa-us ...! - I am Gritsko, Gritsko! Well, tobi? - O-pa-us-ralas ...


- Dear - it seems you will soon become a dad! - And what - Benedict XVI got sick ?!


- Little Johnny, son! Get away from the boy who broke the glass of my car! The directress is closing ...


- Uncle - I'm still small !!! - Well, grow, grow, as long as the bow is unfastened ...


- I am 20 years old, and I hesitate to call a girl home! - Oh you! I drove the shelf in your years!


Man brings home a jar (glass) of paint. He enters the corridor - and then the bank slips out of his hands and bang to the floor ... A man, starting to catch up, how much work he had "rolled", costs nothing ... The sound of his six-year-old daughter comes out. She looked at this picture, and asked: - What, Dad - "fuck!"?


Hedgehog came out of the fog, Ended marijuana ...


One man to another: - I invented a new attraction for a recreation park. People shaft fells just to see. Imagine - I tied the dude by the legs, and dropped from the tower ... - So this is an old attraction - "Tarzan" is called ... - Well, yes ... Only I left the same height, but I doubled the gum ...


A man brought home an ice cream in a three-liter jar and asked his wife: - Will you have ice-cream? - Is it solid? - Hard as my dick! - Then pour me a little bit ...


- How to achieve the location of the girl? - Finish first, and then arrange ...


From life. In one military unit, water suddenly disappeared. Ordinary drinking water. That is, absolutely. No washing, no shave, no soup with compote to do. The pipe is somewhere covered, where - no one knows, but there are no reservoirs nearby, the river is about 50 kilometers away, and this is overgrown with mud. The commander of the unit, of course, calls every day to headquarters and covers all those involved in the non-repair of the pipe with mats. And there all pulls: there are no people, then time, then something else. And then from the headquarters send some old colonel to check on the party line. He inspected, came to the commander of the unit. He says happily: they say, here you have everything in the party competently, ideologically restrained, the red corner is the best, and the officers are completely eagles! In general, the first place in the district in some kind of competition is yours! The commander of the unit heard the speech to the end and, with a wink at the inspector, offered to wash the future this first place. He pulled out a bottle, splashed himself and the colonel in glasses, silently clinked glasses with him and stood waiting. And the colonel happily knocked the contents of his glass down his throat! And suddenly, wrinkling, he rushed to the sink in the corner of the cabinet. There was pure alcohol in the glass, and there was no water in the tap. The colonel's face turned brown, he threw out his tongue and bulged his eyes, trying to unbutton his collar with his hand. And here the sufferer saw the wolf grin of the chief of the unit. Leaning over the unfortunate polklin who had slid down the wall, he hissed venomously: - What, bitch - what the fuck are you? And I am so every day! ...


I stand for such a power in which I don’t have to sit if I stand for it. And the disciples of Christ gathered at the Last Supper. And among them was one non-drinker. Twenty years later, today's currency prostitutes for the price will be available to pensioners. Why do some women just take a shower, while others get pleasure from it? It’s all in the direction of the jet ... The Athletics Federation banned athletes in jump disciplines to use pads with wings ... The whole difficulty lies in the fact that I can never explain to you what you don’t want to understand ... Why the amount of labor increases, technologies develop - and the number of working days does not decrease? Better money than a blowjob, there is no pregnancy ... If you step on a rake correctly, it can even be fun.


Odysseus returned home from under the walls of Troy for twenty years. The fault, of course, was the gods, who in every way prevented him ... ... At least, that was how he explained to his wife.


The latest news. George Bush has stabilized IQ.


- Why do people like fairy tales more than reality? - Yes, because in life, at first, the princess - and then the toad ...


Bush summoned CIA analysts and asked: - Russia behaves differently than before. What are your explanations? Analysts scratched their turnips: “Putin is strengthening the horizontal of power ...” Bush again asked them: “Where did this horizontal come from?” - And this vertical collapsed ...


In the Israeli army: - Well, here you are, Sasha, took the oath, it remains only to receive the baptism of fire to accept! Well, in the sense of circumcision fight!


Men's booze. Talk about work. And as usual: - That we are all about work, let's talk about women! - Well, let's go about the women ... Here is an accountant - that's a bitch !!!


Husband returns from a business trip. He rushes into the apartment, where his wife is sitting - knitting. Muzhiku bad. And his wife is perplexed: - Honey, but I also have the same month!


- Do not mind it! - shouted the trainer. And our players have completely completed its installation. And scored on the game.


In the morning it was ... My wife is going to school. She was a little unwell, something was prescribed there. He urgently demands something to swallow at the mother’s request - he needs to drink this after the injection ... Wife, not agreeing: - Yes, these are B vitamins in general! - And what is mine ?! - anxiously asks the daughter. - Group A? ... I woke up immediately.


“I used to think that there was nothing English in me, but recently I learned that my great-great-great-grandfather had participated in eating Cook.


The fox is a very cunning animal and it lives in a burrow. So, it must be smoked from there. And the best of all to smoke Moroccan hashish! She will come out of any hole for mineral water.


- Mom, the geographer looks at me in a strange way - in my opinion, she desired me - hurt me with a shoulder, alone trying to stay ... - Her son is 45 years old. In her return it is understandable. - Mom, I am 15 and at my age it’s all zashib - but there must be at least some professional ethics ...


- Masha, let's go to the cafe? - It's late, Lyosha ... I'm already Seryozha!


- Daughter, are you still a virgin? - I will not say, otherwise you will swear!


Goes, it means a football match. The commentator habitually quickly says: “A strike, a ball from Ivanov, a pass on the left edge, a pass into the penalty area, a shot on goal, a bar! .. Then the door opens with a noise, a breathless trainer runs in: - Could it be slower? The guys do not have time ...


The little girl is returning home from kindergarten: - Oh, that was today, that was! All vaccinations done! - And you, daughter, did not cry? - Nah! They didn't catch me ...


Interview with the rector of a paid university. - Tell me, they say, do you learn some mediocrity and slobs with a tight purse? - Well, basically, yes! - A sensible come across? - Well, of course! As they say, the family has a black sheep!


- I will go to the sea, but I don’t know which swimsuit to wear - open or closed? - Wear both - the water is cold.


- Have you ever had sex on an airplane? - Not. - So, not you ...


- The last man from our village went into the army. - And what, I could not hang out? - Why could not? Slope - and left ...


Fucking boyfriend girlfriend In ecstasy, she shouts to him: - Deeper! Deeper! Deeper ... Hlubbe ...


At the end of a long and dark tunnel, the guy says to the girl: - It took 9 million dollars to build this tunnel !!! “Nothing, it was worth it,” said the girl, putting on her panties ...


- All men - bastards! All they need is one thing. But why, why not from me ?!


Grandparents loved to play hide and seek. In the morning, the grandmother hid moonshine, and if his grandfather found him, in the evening the grandmother was already hiding.


- And then Dad told me: "You, son, got out of the hands at all ... I'll have to beat you with my feet!"


- Give Christ for the sake of! Each submitter 10 times - 10% discount. To each 10th submitter - a prize - a tape recorder.


- And now the choir will perform. - Choir? Why are you alone? - And the rest were fired ... For bribes. - And how are you left? - Took and gave ...