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From life. The train. Friday, evening, tambour. In the vestibule a few people at one door smoke, the other has a man with a hefty rottweiler ... An inspector enters from the car. First to the smokers, and after a brief wrangling boccally approaches the owner of the dog. He honestly holds out the ticket, and then the dialogue: - The dog also needs to take a ticket! "So this is the dog ..." "Then your ticket?" - If you want, I can leave ...


From life. A friend went to the woods for mushrooms: - Yesterday the cat nearly killed nah ... - Why, Sasha ?! - I'm sitting, cleaning mushrooms - but she does not fucking fucking !!!


From life. I come to visit friends. In the iron door of the entrance to all the familiar picture - instead of a doorphone a terrible lacerated wound. Between the conversations I ask - do you always have this? Daughter friends - a charming girl of 18 years old says: - This drunken man with an ax wanted to decide someone. At that moment I left the house. I hear blows to the iron door - I think something is being repaired, but just in case I open a little and look out - I see a bloody drunken peasant with an ax and quickly slamming the door back .... I hear a voice: - Girl, open it! I AM NOT TO YOU! Real freedom begins when you have two bosses. Pop corn, pop art, pop culture ... but piz-for some reason only - dad! I change the anger of the day for the joy of the night. Most of all in life a man is afraid to wake up before his wife makes up. In kung fu, the school of stork is most popular. The soldiers of this school bring children. A charitable evening was held in Moscow. All the funds collected on it will go to the morning restoration of the participants of the evening. There is a new breed of ostriches. At the moment of fright, they not only put their heads under the ground, but also quietly eat moles. A girl went to the sea. She did not rest herself, and she did not give it to others ... There is not yet such a dating site in the network in which crocodiles did not exist ... There must be some mystery in a woman! Other than how to explain its ability to solve everything? Sex bombs, sex bombs! .. Yes they are - pooh and rub without our, male, warheads! The scale of a person's identity is determined by the scale of the problems that fuck him ... If Alvaws is a gasket, then what should happen when you press the "Alaw on end" button?


School of driving ... Which car? The leaders are preparing!


It turns out that only triangular signs are installed in Kazakhstan on the roads ... Because it's okay to close the barrel of grain with a round sign, and from the square one gets an excellent snow shovel.


Siberian city, tour of the Mariinsky Theater. A woman approaches a cashier - a sort of new Russian businesswoman. - How much are the tickets? The cashier answers. Lady in indignation: - No! Well, you must! No, you think. Artists come from some hole, from Marinsk shit - and prices as Pugachev!


The Russian couple lost the dance competition. For two hours, Sergei did not dare to invite Galina.


Commentator of the boxing match: "Yes, now it is obvious to all that our boxer wins against the American on points." It was very, very careless from the enemy to enter the ring in points! ".


Commentator at the Olympics: - And now I will introduce you to those who swim on their backs with women ...


He is interviewing the Nobel Prize laureate. The correspondent inquires as to the process of scientific thinking. The scientist responds - well, so, they say, and so, in the laboratory, in the library ... Correspondent does not lag behind - and at home do you keep thinking? Well, how do you come to the discovery? The scientist: - Well, here's an example ... For a long time my wife and I were like that - we go to bed, and the wife tells me that something is hurting my head. Well, this, naturally, led to the fact that I was constantly thinking about how to cope with this problem. And then one day it dawned on me, and I discovered ... Correspondent: -... the way to the discovery of super-analgin? - Well no. I discovered that a neighbor never locked the door with a key ...


A man climbs the stairs to his house. Towards neighbor alcoholic. - Oh, and I just went to you, take money. - Well, it's you in vain - I'm not at home ... The neighbor tensely pondered someone else's speech. - And why? The man with a smile says: "I have not come yet!" Alkash nods his head and stomps down to himself ...


The husband of a sex therapist: - Doctor, my wife sent you to you. She does not like that I finish before her. - Much earlier? - One and a half hours. "Lord, what are you doing all this time?" "I'm getting home ..."


American women often say: "You can take my body, but my mind is never!". It's right. I was looking for - they have no intelligence.


"Girl, would you like to rest with me?" We go to bowling, make a barbecue, sit in the jacuzzi ?! - Want! - What is your name? - Klava! - Hmm ... So, so, Klava, the program changes a little: lapta, pies with a liver, a shower!


Attention, moles-murderers appeared. They attack ostriches and bite off their heads.


George Bush is learning to play chess. He already knows how a pawn goes. Now they will teach him how another pawn walks.


The new sponsor of FC Metalist Kharkov Bicycle Factory has allocated 11 bicycles for the team's away matches.


- Where are you from? - From under Peter. - Now everything is from under Peter. Specifically. - Bishkek.


- And why are your parties so cheerful, but nobody goes to my parties? - Dosya, the main thing - a good powder!


In the video rental: the agent, the young guy, checking the cassettes returned by the girl, asks severely: - Do you know that you have a delay? She answers with a smile: "Basically, I guessed ..."


- Boy, your portfolio is leaky! All five of you will lose! - I do not have any fencers! And deuces - dick with them!


The tax inspector walks along the supermarket - he looks at what boutique he has on it ... Looks - the buyer leaves from one, in a new leather jacket. "Your check!" No? Proydeemte ... Sellers pukach eyes, resorts mistress. Tax: The sale without a check is illegal, etc. The landlady gives him a sign to stay together. - Buyer - my lover - and explain how to get him a check for three sticks and one cunnillings? !!


- Listen, Mish. And what about your girlfriend works? - The welder. - And you have it big? - Yes, normal, with a figurine. - And what is the name? - Anton. "Misha, are not you like that?" - Are you really, or what ?! How could you have thought such a thing !!! I'm so! Anton is not that kind of ...


Is filming porn. Director: - So! Camera! The motor! ... Stop! Stop! Why do they have dry bodies? Where is the sweat? Requisitor! Where is the requisite! ... so, well ... Camera! The motor! ... Stop! Stop! Wait! ... Why is she wearing shoes ?! Put on her boots! Dresser! Where is the dresser? !!! ... so, well ... Camera! The motor! ... STOP! STOP! STOP! ... He does not have a mail to him !? DOCTOR! Where is the INSTRUCTOR ??????





Happiness in money, for which one does not need to sit in prison ... God knows how to humor too. Especially weather forecasts. A group of scientists found that computer viruses are born from virtual sex. Sexual knowledge is not transmitted, but it is quite possible to earn an appreciation ... Political correctness is an elementary fear of getting pussy, covered with a wrapper of universal humanism and brotherhood. Love for flat-breasted women is the first step towards homosexuality. In fact, God sent the Jews not into the wilderness! In the beginning - under them was the sea. Absolutely useless, cheap sea ... Did you know that curiosity ruined more virgins than love. Sometimes not done in time hair removal stops the girl from doing rash things. With constant repetition, only mate does not lose its meaning. The principle of unity and struggle of the people with representatives of the authorities: everyone agrees, that without bribes nothing is done, but nobody agrees with the tariffs. He cursed a long word with three letters ...


- And I translated my grandmother across the road. - Oh, you only translate grandmothers!


"Honey, let's have sex soon!" "Do not push me!" - Good! You'll be on top!


- Man! Where are you rushing to! It's a female toilet. Yes, even with a sheepdog ... - She's my girl! In the male toilet to walk around shy ...


The headline of the news in the Week: "Students from Africa are scared in Russia." It's scary for them to visit - and how do we live here?


- Mama! Mama! Leave me a couple of sweets to try ... - I tried! You can not leave it.


"Doctor, something's piercing my heart." "Shit ... you have an aspen stake there ..."


At the interview, the restaurant director asks the girl who wants to work as a waitress. Suddenly the director suddenly grabs her ass and gets a slap from her. Director: - Well, why do you lie to me, that you have work experience?


- Mom, give me juice! "Until you eat the soup, I will not give it!" "Mom, give me the juice!" - I'm not giving it! - Mom, well, I can not without a whistle !!!


"You heard that they can drink from the Dnieper!" - Think! We can eat from the Rhine!


In my old age I will go to grandchildren as I went to my relatives in Ukraine in the 80s without a passport, customs, prints and checking the anus ...


- How did you become famous? - I was lucky with the image-maker. When he saw me for the first time, he immediately said: "Put your lousy tie in the ass!" I listened to it. That was a success! The audience was in ecstasy when I did it right on the stage.


"When did Duncan MacLeod's mother know that her son is immortal?" "After the third abortion."


- Marivanna, and Marivanna - why was it right to say "in Ukraine", and now - "in Ukraine"? - Well, how would I explain to you, Vova ... We do not say "In deep ass".


The son returns home late, the father asks: - What for so long - traffic jams? "If only traffic jams ... I've been in five accidents today!" - Oh my God! How did this happen ?! - Weather: fog, rain, and by the evening and frosted ... - The weather is terrible - but FIVE accidents !!! - Well, not only because of the weather, a few more of my skillful actions ... - Able? !! - Of course, skillful ... On one back bumper a half thousand bucks collected!


- Tanya! And why did you even come to this city? - I came to do ... it's not right ...


"Honey, did you buy the Fairy?" - Dear - "Fairy" was not, I bought vodka ... I think in half an hour unwashed dishes will be us on the drum !!!


- And at the end of the speech I would like to share the observation: on March 8 we give the girls so many flowers that it seems that they are with the Caucasians in the lobe ...


- Fairy tale. And Vasilisa the Beautiful went where Vasilisa the Wise did not dare!


- Well, here we are in Minsk! - You what! So you can not talk, just the fascists said!


- Lena? - Hello, Vasya! - Hello, Lena ... You know, I fell in love with Masha! - Masha? And what about me?!! "Forgive me, I completely forgot!" How are you, Lena?


- What is your name? - Hope. - Well, die last ...


"Professor, will I get a gun?" "Yes ... and boots."


"Belt of fidelity to the ideals of freedom and democracy" ... I wonder, but what would that mean?


- How were the girls selected for casting for the clip !? "How ... how ... using the" poke "method, of course ...


- Doctor, it seems to me that I am Ivan the Terrible ... - So, understand. I'll write out the medicine for you ... - Write, write, the stinking dog ...


"Sympathetic legs ... what time do they open?"


- Man, man, where do you - do not want to participate in a win-win lottery? "Is she exactly a win-win situation?" - Absolutely! "Very well, come on." Go around the corner. There is a hefty mess. Ambal: - So, man - give the watch and wallet! Passer-by: - ​​Is this a robbery? Ambal: - No, you said - a win-win lottery. I have never lost!


Uchilka checks the kindergartens at the kindergartens: "Description of the domestic objects of religious worship." Negro boy: - In our yard there is a statue of some aunt, with a golden circle above her head, and she has a baby in her arms. My mother daily kneels in front of her and quietly prays. The Chinese girl: - And at our house there is a copper, sitting with crossed legs, fat, cheerful blockhead. My parents burn candles in front of him every day. Jewish boy: - We have a flat stand with numbers in the toilet. Each mother becomes her and loudly screams "Oh, God!".


Why are Russians invincible? During the analysis of the Second World War, American military historians discovered an interesting fact. Namely, with a sudden collision with Japanese forces, Americans, as a rule, made decisions much faster - and, as a consequence, even superior enemy forces won. Having studied this pattern, scientists came to the conclusion that the average length of the word in Americans is 5.2 symbols, while the Japanese have 10.8. Consequently, the return of orders takes 56% less time, which in a short battle plays an important role ... For the sake of "interest" they analyzed the Russian speech - and it turned out that the length of the word in Russian is 7.2 characters per word (on average ), however, in critical situations, the Russian-speaking command structure switches to non-normative vocabulary - and the length of the word is reduced to (!) 3.2 symbols in the word. This is due to the fact that some phrases and even phrases are replaced with one word. For example, the phrase: "32nd - I order immediately destroy the enemy tank, firing at our positions": - 32nd - ebony for this dick!


"Good fairy, how am I going to the ball?" "Do you have a pumpkin?" - Yes. - Throw it out! And then - I think - what stinks ?!


"As long as you're at the ball, I'll do all the work for you." What should be done? - Evil stepmother mixed a bag of millet and a bag of peas! "All right, I'll eat it!" What else?!


"... when appearing with a guilty suspect has had a fierce resistance ...".


In my childhood, when I was little and read the fairy tale "The Wizard of the Emerald City", I could not understand for a long time how a hurricane could carry a house - it was big and brick ... And only after many years I learned that the Americans, it turns out, Build houses as if they had never read a fairy tale about three pigs ...


There are two: - Well, how did you rest? - So so. Everything is decent, full service, the sea, the beach, museums, excursions. - And we have wine, fist fight, police, kutuzki! - Happy ...


The husband and his wife are watching a horror film. Horror appears on the screen. Wife: - Oh, Mom ... Husband: - I recognized my mother, right? ...


After studying the results of the latest tests, the doctor tells the patient: - I'm sorry, but I have bad news for you: you have a maximum of six months of life. The patient stared at one point and sat there for a few minutes, then replied: "Well, I do not have good news for you, doctor." Unfortunately, I have not paid the full installment of my medical insurance yet and will not be able to pay you. "All right," the doctor says, "let's say, nine months ..."


"The worthless girl!" They say you made a blowjob on Fedya yesterday !? - What are you, Mom ?! His cock was bitten by a snake, and I sucked poison!


Tomorrow in our concert hall there will be a concert with the participation of the groups "Rammstein" and "Aria". Say goodbye to the concert hall will be the day after tomorrow ...


A successful businessman is asked: - How did you achieve such success? After all, before the failure just chased you? - You see ... luck always was to my back, so I started to fuck hard. And so she wanted to see who was giving her such pleasure ...


Ukrtelecom will launch a new project "Internet on sewage" under the slogan "Communication - shit, but the channel is wide."


- At me awful temperature - knock down, please, faster! - Well, for this we will introduce you aspirin intramuscularly, but it will be a little painful - the tablet is still large ...


"And the aliens abducted me!" I remember only a dim bulb, some buttons, movement up ... - As, aliens ... It's you who were drunk in the elevator!


Our industry began to produce wallpaper with an already ready adhesive layer, for the activation of which it is enough to hold the language on their surface ...


- Why do men turn gray before women? - Because women have one egg, and a man has 10 million spermatozoa. And for every soul it hurts.


He once rode in a trolley bus, a woman sat next to him and laid his head on his shoulder. He asked: "Who are you?" - I'm nature! I rest on you ...


Two motorists boast of their wives: - My wife is like a Mercedes, just super! "And my wife is like a Jaguar." If you tell her that it is worse than a Mercedes - it will tear apart.


Phrases after which sex ends immediately: - Damn, I'll do a course tomorrow ... - Vitaly Ignatievich, and we can assume that this laboratory I worked? "Young man, are you going out next?" - Hello, with you Andrey Malakhov ... - Hello! - Stop, removed!


Two brothers decided to go fishing. Bought for this case, a jeep, tackle, scooter, zataris bunch, food ... By the end of the week of drunkenness caught a small fry. One of them thought and said: "Estimate, Kolyan - this fish cost us almost a hundred bucks ..." Kolyan also thought and said: "It's good that we caught only one ..."


- Excuse me, is this the solarium? "No, fucking sugar!"


Two men are walking dogs. They sat down on the bench and watched their pets. Then one saw an appliance in the hands of another and asked: - What is this interesting for you? - And this is my remote control dog. - Like this? - But look: I press the left button - it runs to the left, I press the right button - to the right. Now I press the middle one and she will run to me! - Er! Why is she chasing my Chapa ?! !!! .. !! .. !! - Foo you, damn it! Probably, the batteries have sat down!


If you put your principles in the ass, then for sure you'll have a lot of stuff in there. There are lies, there is a big lie, there are statistics, and there is advertising. If a woman does not suffer for a long time, she begins to suffer herself. ... And every day he rolled in his "Alpha Romeo" a new Beta-Juliet ... Stapler - piercing for the poor. 02 - not the number, but the whole program! Petersburg gays - it's not that the Moscow fagots ... Diuretic with Viagra - try to get into the toilet! When you finally can buy yourself a sports car - you can not climb into it anymore. It's good when joy does not come alone, but with a bottle! If you try to keep in normal form - you are a narcissistic failure. If you do not watch yourself, you're a loser. Only in Russia, an unemployed citizen can differ from anywhere that does not work many millions of times. Following the retirees, young people came to the street with a demand for a free social package: beer, mobile phones, the Internet.


"My hut is on the other side of the ..." "And my hut is on the edge!" - Ukraine - a kind of edge to the brim!


- Honey, I made a decision - I stop drinking! - How? What for! Who will now call me a beauty ?!


- What should be done to make the day of the Airborne Forces calm? - Appoint it on June 25 ... Maybe even a crowd of drunken graduates will stop this madness.


In the office, Lenin drinks tea in a snack with sugar, Dzerzhinsky comes: - Vladimir Ilyich - what do you drink tea in a snack, then, is there sand? Lenin: - It is no longer soluble ...


The last conversation between Yushchenko and Tymoshenko. - Viktor Andreevich - why are there so many remakes in Kuchma on your team? - You look at it ... Remakekov, you see, a lot ... Do you want me to leave? And I'm not leaving! And here you go! I'm sick of your orange blouse, your tits and your microphone! I got up and left!


"Well, how did you go for mushrooms?" - Yes, so ... Two bottles of vodka for 0.7 drank ... - Yes ... crap this year, some mushrooms ...


When Ilya Muromets was small, he was very fond of going to the forest for mushrooms. Once he met Serpent, twice Leshiy, three times Kikimora. In general, the mushrooms were cool ...


- Sick, with your health I do not advise you to drink. - And how then to be treated? ..


- I'm like Ellie - a girl from Kansas - agrees with the ban on selling alcohol after ten in the evening ... And how Lena Borshchova is offended and deprived of her personal life!


As a child, little Misha only reached the 6th floor, and then he walked and swore, because his mother taught him to count only up to six, and his father to swear.


- Sivka-Burka, a prophetic kurka, stand in front of me like a leaf in front of the grass ... - Ivan - you would be more specific expressed as getting up, or we have horses associative range weaker ...


"Who's shouting so loud out there?" - Yes, this is our neighbor, Katya, becomes pregnant ...


- Yes, Maxim, everyone knows that Nikolai is sleeping with your wife, but think - you could be in his place ...


- And why have not you had concerts so long? - You know what - this is Mozart had no concerts ...


A tall, blue-eyed blonde comes up to me and says: "Girl, you goddess, descended from heaven to earth" ... That is, when they need, they normally speak Russian.


In the store: - Give me a rat spice. "Maybe rat poison?" - No, seasoning - to poison rats in this hungry winter is too wasteful ...


In fact, Pinocchio was married not to Malvina, but to Tortilla. Because youth is one thing, and three hundred years of experience is completely different ...


If the master Ivanov is moved to transfer the erogenous zones: one - at the tip of the finger, the other - into the nostril, then for the change he will experience such pleasure, which he has never experienced in the whole family life.


There are two husks in the forest. "O-na-us ...!" - I'm not Opanas, I'm Gritsko. "O-na-us ...!" "I'm Gritsko, Gritsko!" Well, what? - O-na-us-raly ...


"Darling, I think you'll soon be a dad!" - And what - Benedikt XVI was unwell ?!


- Vovochka, son! Get away from the boy who smashed the window of my car! To the director you close ...


- Uncle - I'm still a little !!! - Well, grow, grow, as long as I unfasten the bow ...


- I'm 20 years old, and I'm embarrassed to call the girl home! - Oh you! I drove in your years of the regiment!


Brings the man home a jar (glass) of paint. Goes into the corridor - and then the bank slips out of the hands and the bang on the floor ... A man, starting to catch up, how much work he "piled", there is no ... The sound comes out his six-year-old daughter. She looked at this picture, and asked: - What, dad - "fuck!"?


A hedgehog came out of the fog, Marijuana was over ...


One man to another: - I came up with a new attraction for a recreation park. The people simply throw down the shaft. Imagine - I tie a dude by the legs, and drop it from the tower ... - So it's an old attraction - "Tarzan" is called ... - Well, yes ... Only I left the height unchanged, and I doubled the rubber ...


The peasant brought home an ice cream in a three-liter jar and asked his wife: "Will you make ice cream?" - Is it solid? - Hard as my dick! - Then pour me a little ...


- How to get the girl's disposition? - First finish off, and then arrange ...


From life. In one military unit water suddenly disappeared. Ordinary drinking water. That is absolutely. Neither to wash, nor to shave, nor to make soup with compote. The pipe was somewhere covered, where - no one knows, and next to it there are no water bodies, the river - kilometers for 50, and that one has become overgrown. The commander of the unit, of course, daily calls into the headquarters and covers the mats of all those who are involved in the nepochinka tube. And there everyone pulls: then there are no people, then time, then something else. And then from the headquarters they sent some elderly colonel with a check on the party line. He inspected, came to the commander of the unit. Joyfully says: they say, you have everything here competently, ideologically withstood, the red corner is the best, and even the officers are quite eagles! In general, the first place in the district in some kind of competition - just yours! The commander of the section listened to the speech to the end and, with a wink at the examiner, suggested that this first place be washed away by the future. He pulled out a bottle, splashed himself and the colonel into glasses, silently jabbed with him and froze in anticipation. And the colonel joyfully tipped the contents of the glass into his throat! And suddenly, wrinkled, he rushed to the sink in the corner of the office. In the glass was a pure alcohol, but there was no water in the tap. The Colonel's face grew brown, he dumped his tongue and protruded his eyes, trying to unbutton his collar. And then the sufferer saw the wolf's grin of the chief of the unit. Leaning over the unfortunate regiment that had slid down on the wall, he hissed venomously: "What, bitch-is it for you?" I AM EVERY DAY! ...


I am in favor of such power that I do not need to sit if I'm standing behind it. And the disciples of Christ gathered for the Last Supper. And there was one of them not drinking. In 20 years, today's currency prostitutes will be available to pensioners at a price. Why do some women just take a shower, and others get pleasure from it? The whole thing is in the direction of the jet ... The Athletics Federation has forbidden athletes in the jumping disciplines to apply gaskets with wings ... The whole difficulty is that I can never explain to you what you do not want to understand ... Why the amount of labor Increases, technologies develop - and the number of working days does not decrease? Better means than blowjob, there is no pregnancy ... If you correctly step on the rake - it can even bring pleasure.


Odysseus returned home from under the walls of Troy for twenty years. The blame, of course, was the gods, who in every possible way prevented him ... ... At least, so he explained to his wife.


The latest news. George W. Bush stabilized the IQ.


- Why do people like fairy tales more than reality? - Yes, because in life first princess - and then a toad ...


Bush called the CIA analysts and asked: - Russia is behaving differently than before. What are your explanations? Analysts crunched their turnips: - Putin strengthens the horizontal line of power ... Bush again asks them: - Where did this horizontal come from? - And this vertical collapsed ...


In the Israeli army: - Well, you, Sasha, took the oath, it remains only to receive baptism of fire! Well, in the sense of circumcision by battle!


A man's booze. The conversation is about work. And as usual: - What we are all about work, let's talk about women! - Well, let's talk about the women ... Here's accounting - here's a bitch !!!


The husband returns from a business trip. Breaks into the apartment, where the wife sits - knits. To the muzhik it is bad. And his wife was bewildered: "My dear, but I have the same weight!"


- Do not mind it! - shouted the coach. And our players completely completed its installation. And scored on the game.


In the morning ... My wife collects my daughter to school. She was a little unwell, something was registered there. At the mother's demand, something urgently something to swallow there - resists: - It must be drunk after a shot ... Wife, not agreeing: - Yes it's generally vitamins B! - And what kind of me? the daughter asks anxiously. - Group A? ... I woke up at once.


- I used to think that there is nothing in English in me, but recently I learned that my great-great-great-grandfather took part in eating Cook.


The fox is a very cunning animal and it lives in a hole. Hence, it must be smoked from there. And it's best to smoke Moroccan hashish! She on any will leave a hole for a mineral water.


- Mom, the geography looks at me strangely - I think she wanted me - she touches me with her shoulder, tries to stay alone ... - My son is 45 years old. In her return this is understandable. - Mom, I'm 15 and at my age it's generally zashibis - but there must be at least some professional ethics ...


"Masha, shall we go to the cafe?" - It's too late, Lyosha ... I'm already Seryozha!


- Daughter, you're still a virgin? - I will not say, and then you'll swear!


There is, then, a football match. The commentator habitually says: "Beat, Ivanov's ball, pass on the left-hand edge, pass into the penalty area, kick at the goal, the bar! .. Then the door opens with a noise, the panting coach runs in:" Can not you slow down? " The guys do not have time ...


A little girl comes home from kindergarten: - Oh, what was today, what was! All the vaccinations were done! - And you, my daughter, did not cry? - No-ah! They did not catch me ...


Interview with the rector of a paid university. - Tell me, they say, do you learn only the poor and the slobs with a tight purse? - Well, basically, yes! - A sensible come across? - Well, how! As they say, the family is not without a freak!


- I'll go to the sea, just do not know what swimsuit to wear - open or closed? "Put both on - the water is cold."


- Have you ever had sex in an airplane? - No. "Then it's not you ..."


- The last man from our village went into the army. "Why could not I?" "Why could not I ?!" He broke off - and left ...


Fucks guy devaha. She in ecstasy shouts to him: - Deeper! Deeper! Deeper ... Hlubze ...


At the end of a long and dark tunnel, the guy says to the girl: "It took 9 million dollars to build this tonal !!! - Nothing, it was worth it, - said the girl, putting on her panties ...


"All men are bastards!" All they need is one thing. But why, why not from me ?!


Grandmother and grandfather were very fond of playing hide and seek. In the morning my grandmother hid the moonshine, and if my grandfather found him - that evening my grandmother was already hiding.


- And then Dad said to me: "You, sonny, completely got out of your hands ... You'll have to beat your feet!".


"Serve for Christ's sake!" For those who submitted 10 times - 10% discount. Each 10-mu submitting - a prize - a tape recorder.


- And now the choir will perform. - Choir? Why are you alone? - And the rest were fired ... For bribes. - And how are you left? - I took it and gave it ...