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A former student of one of the universities of Orlov in absentia entered the Moscow Academy of Arts. Surikov. That's how it was. Here is the correspondence. Text and punctuation copyright.

A former student of one of the universities of Orlov in absentia entered the Moscow Academy of Arts. Surikov. That's how it was. Here is the correspondence. Text and punctuation copyright.



*** Dear Colleagues!
I send you my picture. Help, please, draw a normal horse, I killed so much time, but still it turns out that I have *** with human legs. Dying after normal drawing!

Dear Andrey,
in your picture you can feel the true talent, the talent of a farmer or a high-voltage transmission line adjuster. Your drawing and letter are posted in our gallery. Ryom all. Thank you very much. If there are more pictures, immediately send.
With tears in his eyes,
prof. A. Bichukov.




*** Dear Colleagues!
Honestly, I did not expect such levity from such respected husbands. In my opinion, there is nothing to laugh at, a colleague asks for your help, what is so funny? I, damn it, spent three hours on these ******* s horses ... why the hell you draw, but I did correct some mistakes: for horses, the back legs with their knees are back !!!

Dear Andryusha!
You will soon finish off the old sick man. I can’t laugh so much, you hit the spot again, your second drawing is back in the gallery and it gathers crowds of people. You break classes, professors cannot restrain themselves and scour at the mere mention of horses. Clodt, if you know who it is; however, it doesn’t matter, he also spent a lot of time on horses, so the late Klodt is now apparently spinning so wildly that the centrifugal force hurts me. Andryushechka answer us, please, to the question: to which city does the Russian land owe the birth of such a nugget? What kind of sadist interrupted the hind limbs of the horses, or maybe she damaged them herself, jumping from the tree in the first picture? Who transplanted in essence a slim and harmless horse an elephant buldyzhki and a dog's head? And what is it sticking out of the horse, sorry, from the priests?
Almost blind from the tears of emotion
prof. A. Bichukov.




*** Dear Colleagues!
Although I personally began to doubt your kindness, in my opinion, you are self-satisfied old-fashioned conservatives there who only know how to scoff, but to support the Russian school of painting, of which I am, you are not here. Despite everything, I still got my own, and in the end I had two wonderful horses. Only one thing I agreed with you: “what sticks out of a horse, excuse me from the priests” (this is a good tail, by the way) really should be higher, and it looks like a horse, I won’t ask for forgiveness, I will is, *** t, I normally treat constructive criticism.




Dear Andryushenka!
And in my thoughts I didn’t have to mock you, on the contrary, the whole academy can’t wait for letters from you, everyone comes in asking if you have any news from you. So this time you did not let down, speaking your language, the “Russian school of painting” again gave everyone about *****, so to speak, showed all these lot tracks, monks, picasses, where horses are grazing. By the way, if you have sketches with other animals, send without fail, you, as I understand it, are an animal painter. A miracle, not a horse, again in the gallery, just do not get it wrong again and do not be offended, can you ask a few more questions just to satisfy your own and not only your curiosity? Everyone is very interested. Why is the first horse so long, maybe this mad professor injected her with a dachshund spinal cord extract, and why does this poor horse have only two legs? Why was the second horse crippled by the hind legs? Looks like a muck that you sent earlier jumped off a tree again. And what is this strange ironing on all the horses on their feet?
A sincere admirer of yours
brilliant talent
prof. A. Bichukov.