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DAYNER OF DIRTY PONY.
Today my mother taught me to write. I'm writing bad, but I'm trying. Papa n. (Further illegible) selected the drum. Tonight I'll eat his hunk of elite hay (I know where the reptile is hiding). November 19th
The whole day was diarrhea. To write not to the magician on November, 21st
Dad said it's time to pound the hooves. The family does not have a bubble. We put the icebreaker. It's cheaper. The whole evening itched for hooves. Crying. Dec. 15
Uncle came in masks. They took my mother. Long looked at me. Mom was taken away on a butterfly with the inscription "Circus". The rest of the day he listened to the "Leaving Noone" of the Beatles. He thought a lot and cried. Dad stuck up late. All in someone else's dung and pretty drunk. He said he was at the presentation. I know his presentation. Again, with Peg and the Brown-haired Kaurka, they went to the racetrack to watch from the fence to the overseas mares. Igo-th. I saw those in pictures in my father's magazines. Like. He was excited. 21 December
Have brought mum. On the head are feathers. I was addicted to cigarettes, only fed by hand (fu, with hoofs). Eats (sorry mom) current lollipops. On the ass (sorry mother, Burka-hooligan taught) fitted some kind of leather crap, such as a chair. One uncle sat on his mother and said "BUT !!!". MAMA HELD WITH CHELAVEKS !!! I decided that the family for me is no longer a fundamental tool in my life space (peeked in the encyclopedia of horse breeding). The first time I drank the swamp water, which my father forgot on the table. Igo, the yoke. Crapped. 27th of December
I am a pony. I realized it only today. Burka-hooligan for 2 years younger than me, but grew up already on 3 heads. Found the word suicide in the newspaper. I thought a lot. I listen to Budenny's marches. I notice behind myself informal judgments. Decided to stamp the anarchy and the patient. We need butterflies. I grow a mane. He started to smoke. I carry masturbating tobacco from my mother. Burka taught me how to score. We smoke together. Mom-anarchy, papa-glass of manure. Daddies do not have a home for the third day. 31th of December
Today is the New Year. The folder came with Blackhound Kaurka and Pegim. All the buoys. He pulled out a chirik from him. Finally I'll make a pacifier. Mom died. From overdose of sugar candies. Uncle on a butterfly arrived. What is a meat cannery? I'll look in the encyclopedia. Bitch, Burka-hooligan, made from a necessary page a joint. They did not unwrap it. They smoked. Sorry mom. 1st of January
Tonight we will go to the teluh from the neighboring stall. Burka-hooligan promised to show udders. I'm glad in advance. I used to see the current in the pictures. I'm screwed. 4 January
Fell in love. My name is Murka. Ass, what you need. Udder - you can not grab four hoofs. I sucked for the first time. The boys really laugh. Che what. Looked Terminator. I thought a lot. Arnie - you're a real horse. 10 January
Murka - turned out to be a cow. Boys, you n. (Further illegible). The Hare Krishnas were baptized. Took to read a little book. Kama Sutra. Everything, nah, I'm going there. Banana, the daughters, the points on the forehead. I want you. In the ass world. I want a war! The Taliban are a fire! I called New York. Threatened. January 16
An account came from New York. The druangs say that my father drove all over town. I was looking for. I was hiding in the shed at the Tropuni-dead. We talked. It turns out a good guy. It was he who drove the droves, where his father chopped them. Nekrasov wrote with him. Tprunya said so. A little boy with bridles has been dead for a long time. How many years ago? January 20th
Tupuna, bitch, lied to everyone. Scientists infected him in childhood with anthrax. Type for the experiment. Hardly got out. True brains are not left. Tropunya is down and sucker, and pi .. (further illegible) is foldable. I will be more attentive to friends. 02 February
What the hell. Burka hooligan is skinhead. Today I'll talk to him. March 14th
Two days ago he came out of a coma. I can write. The truth is trembling hooves. I do not remember much. Papa sent his friend with a broadcast. Murdered, probably half gobbled up on the road. Or changed it. Silo stale. He gives yagel. I know that. He used to be a deer before. Changed the orientation, bitch. Said daddy's busy. Like, I got a job. We lit up. It turns out that Dad bothers the cart. Batya is a rapper. He puzzled over the laughter. March 15th.
Batya is a loader. I carry carts. I thought. March 23
Write out. Pripsya daddy in a smart papo. He said that we'll go to the zoo. Come on. Some clown-freak poked his finger at me and yelled that he would write a song about me. I remembered the current that the girls' ponies roll, the ponies of boys are skating. I told him that when I grow up I'll kick his ass. He did not say aloud. I love children. March 24
Daddy's kicked my asshole today. I discovered that I ate up his hunk of elite hay. My dad is a molecular freak. Every molecule of it is perverted. Again, rested against thumping with buddies, half-dozen khu. (Further illegible). I'm going to work. April 10th.
Today, with my new friend Sivka and his dudes (lying in the clinic together) we went to the Matrix. Disassembled. I want to learn kung fu. Fell in love with Pythia. When I grow up. I'll find and fuck. Wrote a verse: Oh, Pythia is the flower of my garden Not everyone is given biscuits to bake And if you, wow, wake up very happy. Ready to pile ass jumping. I want to send her. We need an address. I asked Bati if there were any African couples in our family. So what. I started writing Wachowski brothers. I did the tattoo on the right hoof: Pythia - I'm yours !!! R.S. Sivka is hereditary down. His grandfather raised kangaroos. Who are kangaroos? 14th of April
I'm looking for work. Offer any x .. (hereinafter unintelligible). Which one of me is the CFO? When I was a lady, a gypsy stuck. We talked. I found myself near the taxi terminal. The silver-plated bells have gone off, the sway. Forever disowned the concepts of "camp" and "herd". 25th of April
Today some type approached the streets and asked if I would like to work in an interesting Internet project. He called the address. Animallovers.com. I was under the buzz (I washed the tanks at the brewery today) and I said that I agree. He said he will. What a fucking project. Ahead of May 1. Agreed with Sivka to remove the teluh. 1st of May.
He put on a red bandana. I'm a communist after all. Power of the lights and no cops, on. Sivka put on the mask of Chapaev's horse. Well, fuck, Chapaev's horse, you can not tell. Said a relative from the hillock sent. Dissident of the heirs. Urine of the bourgeois. Teluhi disappeared by themselves. Marriages of current for love. I love Lenin. But I do not speak out loud. SRs around. May 2
SPS-nicknames freaks. So the liver was repulsed, that the second day to rise not to the magician. I try not to include electrical appliances and light. Mschu Chubais. Sivka crawled. I told him that I was taken to heat in the Urals. Aly slipped away. To hell such communism. I will become a Russophile, a Tolstoyan, a clear-eyed person. 16th of May
Two spirits and a huntsman came with them. They brought battle. He showed them a split hoof (my mother gave birth is difficult). Have looked. They rusted their debt. They said they'd go in for something like a belyash (ticket of this type). May 17th
Freaks, it turns out I'm not fit for growth. And in the airmen? There our guys die, and I'm here? Has made the list: 1. To buy a horizontal bar 2. To not surrender under itself on May, 24th
What a pythia fuck. Nicole Kidmyn - this is a woman. Cruz - you screwed up, Loharik. It's May now. The target posibl. Presented: Nicole and I are Kidmyn and the Horse. May 25-26
Departed from excessive influences of different alcohol on the 24th. (On the road, the car with vodka turned upside down, drove soft-boiled, the passengers in general can not yet be found, but the vodka is almost all the rest.) We did not even have a whole body with Sivka. They say that in the accident, Trojan is to blame. However, what about the bad. Farewell, Tupun. June 1st
Day of protection of horses. Suck with Sivka like a pig. Let's go to the heifers on the farm. The ass hurts from salt. A hot water bottle does not save. Crying. June, 18th
McCartney rules unequivocally. I wrote to him on E-mail. Congratulations. What is Message Delievery Reort? And it's not that simple? 26 June.
I called that type from an Internet project. He said to come the day after tomorrow. Agree? I thought I'd go. In the evening I did not drink. June 28th
The first experience of oral sex. Dude - I'm a coming horse. The current is small. We were taken to a digital camera and to a movie. Said they will show on TV and campus. Gave a poster: Pony on Zoofeely.net I HAVE CONTACTED WITH HUMANS. It's from mom. I thought about suicide. Saved butterflies, caring laid me in a blanket. I'll go and buy a beer. July, 12.
Magical green butterflies. I did not think that enough is enough. They have a wonderful property to reproduce. (Sivkin's ancestors over the hill flew with Shapito, he taught them how to change). Humans are dibils. You give one - you get ten. The stallion looks like a piece of beef. The whole district here was moving. Even Burka was a hooligan. He now works in a mentovka. Patrol. Maza is for the future. And where are the documents for the house? July 16
Came from mentura. Have shown ksive. Type of my kennel prevents the construction of an important strategic facility. Have asked to show documents on a living space. Where's Daddy? July 20
The fifth day at the station I live. I saw Kaurka, a black-skinned man. He said that my daddy had thrown my hoof 2 months ago. Methyl alcohol from a can at the chemical plant was ripening. Yes, and potatoes from McDonald's. And ecology is also not important. I'm sorry, dad. September 1
Ass. Cold blah. And Th I'm not a musk ox. Now would have grown hair and not steamed (not merz in the meaning). September 7
I got a job at a refinery. Daddy's ties are former. He was juggling at a party of some "Yukas" or riding a bicycle. I'm shorter than some type of their important, Khodarkovsky that-whether, attached the trolleys with the workers to pull up to the tower. What they do is not clear. Just in case I draw Burke the hooligan in the cops. September 11
I fell in a vat of fuel oil. Spruce was pumped out. Now I'm black. I read Tolkien. I decided to become a dark force. I feel an asshole, it will not work. 20 November.
I'm breathing guys .. Hey, dude, testament left in the blanket.
Pasha and Gulya
Situation. We go with a friend Pasha for a rehearsal. Naturally, without doping the process will not go, so we buy two low-alcohol drinks per brother, we stand, we drink, we wait for his girl Gulya. He loves her and sometimes he is afraid This Gulya comes. Next dialog:
"Gul, will you swallow it?" Gulya, with a suspicious look:
- This is what "Noosh" on the bill? Pasha, with a guilty look, lowering his eyes:
- The orange ...
The wife does not cease to amaze with pearls. Spring Fever?
I went to cook cutlets. I'm sitting, I hang the strings on the guitar.
Voice from the kitchen:
- Sunny, you from which side of the patties to fry? I forgot the guitar for half an hour ...
My husband at work has a colleague - a young programmer. And there is a methodologist who gives tasks to programmers, a young girl. The girl has long been trying to chew the task to the programmer, and he's at her - like zero attention, buried his nose, does something. And so for ten minutes. She does not stand it:
"Will you finally pay attention to me or not ?!" To which he answers quite calmly:
- What for? Are you a monitor, or what? .. They say that she reproached him with this phrase for a year ...
Diary of the clitoris
January 30, 2006
How I hate those Her nails extruded.
Again I touched. Everything hurts.
February 3rd. This one was watching lesbian porn.
I saw a lot of ours. That's really good for them ...
Finished two times. Good. Second time with envy.
This gulped. Some drunken peasant with a two-day stubble breathed on me for a long time with a fume, then scratched it with his cheeks and fell asleep, pressing his forehead. The language did not reach the point. I cried, I wanted to, but I can not.
This one looked at me in the bathroom mirror. Said I was small. Bitch.
The neighbor next to the bottom again flows. This one bought some new gaskets. Smell with chamomile. I suffocate.
The 14th of February.
Wow-ho! Wow! This girlfriend gave a vibrator. It seems I will finally start a personal life. I'm screaming for the anticipation!
He is much better than her fingers with narrowned nails, but certainly inferior to the language. Although perhaps this is a matter of practice. In general, he is very nice, so touchingly shaking .. We agreed to chat somehow, when this one falls asleep.
How tired I am. Why can not I control myself? Why am I completely dependent on her insatiable libido? I'm tired of finishing by the wave of her hand. I want independence. I spoke with my neighbor, promised to help - I will work on vaginal orgasm, if I can - I'll take a vacation.
This again gulped.
This time is much more successful. MUCH !!!
At first I thought that everything would get to a neighbor. But on the second call I was almost licked to death. Till now the head is spinning.
I thought that I was really lucky. Take for example a neighbor - it is constantly something shove, I could not resist ..
Were at the gynecologist. I do not care. I'm starting to hate my neighbor on the sly - well, why is all my attention only to her, although the pleasure from me is more ???
28th of February.
I'm still angry, I do not talk to a neighbor, and I'm finishing this up with a give.
Oh, spring .. The mood is so romantic, that while This slept finished just because of some existential ecstasy. This one thinks it's because she dreamed of Brad Pitt. Fool! Yes, I like Sean Penn.
In the morning I shouted to my distant neighbor in the shower. He, too, hard. He has a life - shit ...
At the corporative party, the chief pressed this into a corner in the toilet, rubbing my finger for a long time, all to no avail. Maybe I'm frigid? This truth all the same has pretended, that has terminated, and I can not hypocrite!
9th of March.
The neighbor next to the flood again. How annoying. Is this going to last a lifetime? Began to scold her, but she called me a zadrot, and I have nothing to say. Went to himself.
10th of March.
Because of the flood of a neighbor, This agreed to let the boss only to a distant neighbor. How then he was indignant. He does not like this business. But does she ask, the egoist is damn ... But the boss is an asshole, he does not pay any attention to me at all.
This whole day she cried because of the break with the boss. And I'm glad. In the evening they consoled themselves with a vibrator. It was easy.
This one seems to fall in love. I feel it. They are just kissing, but I'm already freezing inside. How nice it is.
30th of March.
Everything was!!! He is very attentive and sensitive, he did everything right, I already flushed with pleasure! I told my neighbor that at such a rate cunnilingus would have to be renamed into a clitorolinguus! He's jealous of me. Apparently with vaginal orgasm nothing works.
Progress is obvious. They do not forget about me, my neighbor is also happy, says that she managed to find some strange point in her. Optimistic looks at the prospects of vaginal orgasm. For some reason I am also positive. Apparently when This is happy, I automatically feel good.
Dear diary, I'm sorry that I have not written for a long time. A month later, these wedding. I do not know what is the use of this for me, but everyone rejoices - both the neighbor from below, and the distant neighbor. I heard a rumor that internal changes will come in this. The neighbor says that she will have a hard time. But we all together hope for the best. And what else remains? ...
We are not empty-handed!
We had a copy in our picturesque colorful company, we'll call it Andryusha. He was already under forty, and he was a convinced bachelor. Dame changed his gloves, no one had more than two or three months did not stay, either because of the eerie Andrew's appearance, or because of a very low salary. That is, he was, he is, so to speak, offended by God. And then strange things began to happen - then one and then another gathering Andryusha was with the same lady, and the lady is very pretty, years from the strength of 20. But all this was rumors so far ... We arranged a merry Razgulay in the forest. Songs, vodka, then all right, the night by the fires ... And so it appears, to the fire, at which your obedient servant sat with his party, Andryusha comes up. But not one. And with the lady who exactly corresponded to the descriptions - pretty, very young at all, she looks like a girl.
The jacket is put on her and he is wearing the same sweater, that is, the gentleman is showing. The lady has an indefinite expression on her face, and without letting go, she holds Andryusha by the hand. But - her stomach clearly indicates why she has been with Andrei for a long time already. In short, we invite them, Andryusha presented to the lady. She does not say a word. Andryusha, as usual, entertains the people, took the guitar, sang something - the lady is silent. The people are having fun, drinking, singing, in a word - according to the full program - the lady Yulia would at least have said a word. His belly is stroking. Our women, compassionate people ask, like, whether it's cold for you, Yulechka, sit closer to the fire - she answers something vague. Our women gave Yulia "foam", they put him in the best place, so that it would be convenient, ask how she feels and so on-female, so to speak, compassion. And now it ends with us boozing ... And it ends. Not a drop, not a gram, but still only warmed up. And then Andryusha slaps Yulia on the back and says in a cheerful tone:
- Well, Yulek! We are not empty-handed!
Julia, slowly vtsav and assessing the situation, unbuttoned and pulls out of the huge inner pockets ... six bottles of vodka! Women in the draft, the men are delighted. But Andryusha still married her after a few months.
You take baboons?
We had our office in 1991 at ul. Kirov (now Myasnitskaya) in Moscow, not far from RTSB - the Russian commodity and raw materials exchange. We held a brokerage office on the stock exchange. At that time, the exchange was more like a small wholesale market - every day a huge price list of pages was printed on 300 small text - who, how much does it sell - broken into groups of goods - from condoms and computers to color and pets. I disclose somehow the quotes of the current day - my God, in the "pets" section is the following:
- Product name: "Baboons (males)" Quantity: "4 pcs.
"Minute party:" 4 pcs. "Location" Moscow "Delivery method:" Pickup "Warranty:" Veterinary certificate "
Price: "$ 2000 / pcs." Well, we clung to it. An old friend came to me that day, owed me $ 500 - big money at that time. Again he began to ask for a reprieve. I mumbled, mumbled ... And then it dawned on me. I tell him:
"Listen, do you want me to write off my debt?"
- Of course, and what to do?
- Yes, it takes three days to change the goods.
- No problem, it answers which goods, where to pick up?
- Yes baboons four pieces on the stock exchange have taken - and from Uzbekistan the charter party will arrive after them at the end of the week. A seller urgently needs to take out.
He did not believe - I told him quotes in the nose.
"And where will I keep them?"
- Yes, in the bathroom.
"My ancestors will kill me!"
- Everything, put you on the counter, return the money! And to feed something than - I open the stock quotes, find fruit and call on the phone:
- Brokerage firm 1255? Paletta bananas do with delivery?
I ask him:
- Speak the address, bananas are delivered today, at the same time, and you sing yourself, and baboons - tomorrow we deliver!
Well, he disappeared from the face, sat down, clutched his head - and my friend pours oil on:
"So I'm calling the roof to start shaking you, or are you taking baboons?"
In general, he agreed, and realized that we play it, only when we went to the variations on the theme that the baboons are now just a mating season and they are homosexual - so he needs to cherish his virginity !!!
And he still has not returned the debt to me!
The negative associate professor
We had such a nasty assistant professor in the In-Yazza SovPravu (long ago it was), according to the consonance nicknamed Gnusov. And in pedodelenii learn, as is known, young ladies, basically. And apparently, something with the assistant professor was irreparable, since he ignored the few children, and the girls continually clung and suspected in a disloyal attitude towards themselves. Any hihanki considered a deadly insult, and because he was chronically tongue-tied (one of the pearls:
- Divorce takes place when there is no longer a place for a joint life together ...), then the absolute majority from each course counted for personal enemies. And during one of the lectures, he clung to three girlfriends sitting on one row:
"You three!" How are your names?
Gneiss, in white heat:
"What-what?" Get out of the audience! I'll still find out who you are and let the dean know that you are kidding me!
And the names were real ...
Anesthesia in the field
We had a seminar in the 10th grade on the topic of first aid. For which the girls were so happy, and the boys occupied these two hours a week, I really do not remember, and they do not really matter. This business was conducted by a very colorful "powerful old man" who was a doctor even during the war. And his favorite topic was anesthesia in the field. Answer this topic was strictly according to the rules of the game. The algorithm, it appears, was such - first you tell about general anesthesia, then "additional questions" began:
- And if you do not have medicines for general anesthesia?
- Then you need to make an injection for local anesthesia.
- And if you do not have medicines for the injection?
"Then some painkillers."
With a triumphant air:
- But you do not have tablets, in the field?
- Then you need to pour a glass of alcohol to the patient. At this point, he blurred into a happy smile and set 5.
The man is growing
My son, 5 years old, gave it out last Monday.
He fights from the series "Do not be born beautiful," I really do not know what got him so hooked. But not about that. Because he likes the show terribly, he sings a song from this film everywhere. In the evening on Monday we returned from a walk, my son pulls off his shoes, and he sings like this:
- ... If in the heart there lives a love ...
And so time 5. I ask him:
"Does love live in your heart?"
The answer shocked me.
- And what about all women, I'm going to go to the beach on my own in the summer.
- And why actually in the summer? .
I get the answer:
- And that they look at them in the winter, they go in fur coats. you can not see anything / That's right, immediately seen muzhchinka grows. And what will happen next?!
Escape from the box
My friends had a dwarf hamster. Beautiful such, gray with longitudinal dark strips on the back. He liked to eat "muesli", especially with raisins and nuts, seeds and other inedible things for a normal person. He lived in a transparent plastic box, the top of which consisted of a plastic grille, in the center of which was a small plastic lid, through which food and drink were fed.
The lid simply snapped, sending a little effort to it. At the bottom of the box were filled with sawdust, in which this rodent ransacked from boredom. Like any normal sidekick, he soon completely cared for such a life and began to look for a way to escape. First, he gnawed around the perimeter of the box wall, where he could get it, why the box on the height of its growth acquired a matte shade and ceased to be transparent. However, the plastic was thick and he, seeing the futility of this case, still continued to do this - at least some business. It is clear that he was bored when he was constantly staring at him, and to give him an intimate coziness, empty cups of yogurt dropped into the box. In them, he slept, necessarily turned the glass upside down, and under the sawdust he climbed inside. What he did there - no one knows, probably, nurtured a saucy plan to escape. After a while he gnawed out a glass and a new one dropped to him. This "mug" carefully observed with its black beads behind the principle of the cover-hatch. And one day the hamster pushed the inverted cup just under the hatch, but I must say that he still did not reach the lid on the lid, then he grabbed by the paws behind the lattice plastic top, pulled himself up and began to gnaw the edge of the lid, snapped on certain ledges. The process of gnawing proceeded in an extremely uncomfortable position, since the hind legs were suspended in the air. The edge of the lid was gnawed enough so that it ceased to mesh for these protrusions and the prisoner of the castle, with a slight movement of his shoulder, opened it and got out. I think he was completely satisfied at that moment. It must be said that this process lasted not one day, but never with us he did not do this, that is, no one saw him gnawing the lid. In general, the escape was prepared according to all rules in secret from the jailers. It was only after he was caught with difficulty the next day (I think he was just hungry and decided to give up), he stopped shy and showed everyone how he did all this, periodically clinging to the grate and chewing the lid on which now stood half- liter water tank.
And seeing all this, how can you say that the animals are driven by instincts? Most likely they are the same as us, only others.
Grandmother and Princess
It was in the city of Saratov. A summer sunny day is a tram along its usual route. The people are exhausted by the heat and boredom, and then an old lady-dandelion comes in on one of the stops.
I do not know how in other cities of Russia, but in Saratov in any transport, the old women first break in (select them there or what?), Take an active place, and then start moaning about their sores and problems.
So, the old woman bursts in and starts to rush about the tram in search of an empty seat, and suddenly, noticing the free place in the tail, begins to break through to the goal.
In the same tram was a very cool chick (by the way, not only I liked it), let's say straightforwardly, an excellent "nipple", of which in the glorious city of Saratov there are many (select them there or what?). And now this sex bomb without any backward thought, not seeing the erupting granny, elegantly sits down to a free place, which was in the immediate vicinity of it, and begins with a bored look to contemplate the landscape outside the window.
The old woman who almost reached her cherished goal, from surprise and from such impudence, just turns into a salt cock for a few seconds, but when she regains consciousness she starts to whine:
- What kind of youth went! No respect for the old, sick people! All conscious life without rest and rest, five shifts at the machine ... well, etc.
Our sex goddess did not have to persuade for a long time (conscious that she was caught, or the old woman reminded her of her own grandmother), and she said:
"- Grandmother, please sit down" - gives way.
Babka, fucked by such an easy victory and from accidental happiness, immediately flops to the vacant place. After attaching their trunks and estimating that they could not talk "for living" with a nearby sweating uncle sitting next to her, the granny was a little sad and began to look around.
Here it should be mentioned that the people in the tram were not very much, noon, the heat was terrible because of the same heat and young age, our queen's clothing matched the tastes of the male half of the tram. Namely: a white transparent short (barely covering the panties) dress, through which clearly loomed magnificent, unburdened breasts chest and panties-bikini. In short, a complete trick!
And then the sharp-eyed granny's eye suddenly clings to the "ento disgrace". Fortunately, when the grandmother struggled for a "place under the sun" to consider our fairy has not had time and even when she got up close, not to notice such beauty was simply not possible. And grandmother got her own barrel organ: Oh, good people! Yes, what is the STE done! I completely lost my shame!
Our geisha pretends that it is not about her and continues to contemplate the landscape outside the window with a cold calm. Babka does not stop: - Lord! Yes, we did not dare to raise eyes in the twenties, the skirts on the ground dragged along. And here in broad daylight such a stamina!
Then our supermodel begins to calm the old woman. And calmly like this:
- Grandma, why are you so broke up. Then there was another time, etc.
Babka still wails more than ever before and frantically turns his head in search of support and understanding among passengers, and without finding it again gundit:
- Yes, in our time, all the girls farted afraid, and not that ... well, etc.
Our pornostar answered her without raising her tone:
- Grandma, so calm you, well, you were certainly in your years of all whiter, all rouge and whiter ... etc. At the grandmother, no arguments were in place and the grandmother's slash fell completely: "Ento should be in the same place in this form!" Where does the school, the veterans' council, the conductor, at last! The guy-conductor looked the same way, where the whole male half of the tram. And then our star gives out the last argument in this situation in order to moderate completely the old-fashioned old woman:
- Grandma, go on that one ..!
Babka jammed for a second:
- Yes you ... Yes you ... Yes, you and x .. - I probably never in my life have not seen!
What does our princess answer for her?
- Grandma, if you collect all the x .., which I saw for my life and hang on you, then you would turn into a hedgehog.
Babka with the speed of a supersonic bullet flew out of the tram ...
In Saratov that day there was a record heat
Peter. The last line of defense.
No fucking, you're looking at these maqwichs. Jopt, I fuck with them - then they are not so, it's not like that, and fucking names nah not them nravyatstsa! Yes fuck who told you that in this fucking Maskwe you are talking properly, eh? Chevo? Capital? Who is Muscov? The capital of Chevo is Armenia and Azerbaijan? Do not pick nah, in Muscov there are less Karen Muscovites than my pubic hair. Fuck, kaneshno - Maskwa spizdila us pachti fse dabs and do not blow a dick in yourself - Muscovites eat sturgeon, spread it with black caviar, and in parallel with this we are pressured by a black loaf, abundantly watered with orphan tears. And a dream at least once before the atlas.
And after all this, the Muscovites have the audacity to teach us - Us! Residents of cultural fucking steel Rasii! - How to gavarit. Yes fucking that you panimayte in spelling, phonetics and that kind of garbage, eh? Someone poked something? Mask shit!
The only thing that the Masoof generation has in the Maladoye generation is a teacher of letters - this is Decl. Well, maybe you are looking for billboards. All! And there is no way to fall and politely ask - Daragiye St. Petersburg, do not tell us, stupid uyobkam, as it is correct - PONCHIK, or fse the same pyshka? And by the way - you need a little money for this. We would fucking fuck would not be offended, would not become patesatstsa over illiterate masks, which the words "Ibazza" through "e" write, and a dodgy and poyatno would explain - a donut fuck he is a round, but WITHOUT a HOLE! So in the beginning it was conceived. And there was no panache of ala vapsche. And the pussy came here like this.
Once a pimply youth bought a dozen ponchikof. Ate them almost fs, there was only one donut. Pasmatrel is a young man and thinks - Fuck, oh, no fucking me, no one in the mornings is a fagot in the morning, let me at least give a donut a fucking donut. Well, blasphemy, he sat in the kitchen, stripped the donut of definity (that's fucking where the hole is in a pussy fucking!), The current has completed a few frikyy - the junky yeego mother comes into the kitchen.
He enters and achives from this spectacle. Our youngster from nezhydannosti in a full stupor shoots a puff from a swabo dick and shoves himself into his mouth. Mom sproshyvayet - Choi something you had there?
And the youth, being still in a stupor, atvachaet - Pizda. But with a mouth full it sounded so - pyshda. Mother, naturally, she could hear - she was pussy, she had settled and left. Soon the whole city began to apyhodyvat donuts in order to get them from the fanciful dumplings. And the young man was called - Mihailo Lomonosoff.
But if with pyschki and donuts we more or less understood, then with some other glories just a crochet.
Pachimu, for example, shavermu in Muskva is called a shawarma - this even I can not panay. In fact, the names are not fucking Russian, the campaign of the Ary or the Azeris came up. So fucking pachimu these LKNy in Moscow gavarit one, and in Peter is different, eh? Type - diaspora raznaya? In the Muskva Shawarma Dudaevs are kept, and in St. Petersburg - Basayevs?
What the fuck is going on - I've seen a stall in one of our races, and on it is written - SHAVERMA. And lower, in brackets - (SHAURMA). Type for those in the tank.
Clarifying fucking. Speaking of stalls - FSE in the course that they are in Muskva nazyayutstsa absolutely perfect for the fucked - tents? Pezdets, you would have named them pilots! Well they would ask me, I would payasnil - say the stall is from the word "chest", that is to say, the premise for storing the prakdtof. A fucking tent - this is where yebutskza students during the tourist's house, and nichevo otschevo with a stall, it does not have! So no, fucking the Muscovite her pathos nemereno, they are smarter than fseh, fse at balabasah, wheelbarrows and tubes fucking, non-Ibiza in his mouth more. I said - the tubes? Okay, listen carefully.
Here is the task for advanced GSM - a user of the province.
Condition: you have removed 3/4 of the brain and you have become a nurturing Muscovite.
Task: review the handset like a fucked-up.
The answer is: mabil.
Huila fuck you, but not mabil! Fuck, well, this is so-such is the word and there is no in Russian language. There is a tube, but no mobile! When ya hear the word mabil, I immediately come to mind here such associations:
mabila, boy, declin, seeds, tachila, fingers, adidas. What the fuck is that?
Rebja tries, atvyvyte, atvyvyte fuck rasshavarivat on izabanutomu, before it's too late. And then so awake to buy in tents Shawarma with donuts, to eat all this, adnavremenno cormorant on the mabil. And then you go to the parade to put a damper on. Although sorri nah - I forgot: not in the front door, but in the entrance. Ebanutsza.
A man is going to shower while his wife just washed herself when a doorbell rings. After a short clarification of who to go to open, the wife surrenders, quickly turns around in a towel and runs down to find out who has come. Opening the door, she sees her neighbor Bob. Without letting her say a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $ 800 if you let the towel down." After thinking for a couple of seconds, the woman takes off the towel and remains naked before Bob. Enjoying the show, Bob hands her $ 800 and leaves. Confused, but inspired by the sudden success, the woman, returning the towel to its original position, goes upstairs. When she returns to the bathroom, the husband asks from the shower: - "Who was it?", - "Our neighbor, Bob," - she answers. "Excellent," says her husband. "Did he say anything about the $ 800 I lent him?" MORAL: If you share important information about the investments and risks with your companions, you can avoid undesirable consequences.
A sales employee, a service specialist and their boss go to lunch and find an old oil lamp. They rub the lamp, and Jin appears in a cloud of smoke. Jin says: - "I usually fulfill three desires, so each of you can guess one by one." - "Chur, I'm the first!", - says a sales employee. "I want to be in the Bahamas now, racing without caring for a scooter on the waves." Pooff! And it dissolves in the air. - "I'm next!", - says the service special. "I want to go to Hawaii, relax on the beach with a personal masseuse and endless supply of Pina-Colada." Pooff! Disappears. "OK, it's your turn!" Says Jin to the manager. Then the manager says: - "I want these two to be in the office after lunch." MORAL: Always let the boss speak first
Once the farmer's donkey fell into the well. While the farmer was thinking, How to do it, the animal made hours of mournful sounds. At last the Farmer made a decision, he considered that the donkey was already old, and the well had to be closed in any case. Just do not spend those efforts to pull out the old donkey. He invited all his neighbors to help him dig a well. All together took up shovels and began to dig and throw the earth in the well. The donkey immediately understood what was going on and began to make a terrible squeal. Then to everyone's surprise he became silent. After a few throws the farmer decided to check and see how it is down there. He was amazed at what he saw there. With each piece of land falling on his back, the donkey was doing something absolutely incredible. He shook himself and stood over the dumped earth. While the neighbors of the farmer continued to cast land into the well, each time the animal was shaken and became over the piled up earth. Very soon everyone was surprised, because they saw how the donkey climbed up, jumped over the edge of the well and rushed forward like a mad man!
In life, you will meet a lot of dirt and every time life will send you a new and new portion. Whenever a clod of earth falls, shake yourself and climb up and only so you can get out of the well. Each of the emerging problems is like a stone to go to the creek. If you do not stop and do not give up, you can get out of any deepest well. Shake and rise up. To be happy remember the five simple rules:
1. Free your heart from hatred - forgive.
2. Free your heart from unrest - most of them do not come true.
3. Lead a simple life and value what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
Well, enough about this, and now:
A little later the donkey nevertheless returned home and strongly bitten his farmer because he wanted to bury him alive. Later in this deep wound got an infection, and eventually the farmer died in agony from a septic shock.
MORAL OF THE TODAY'S LESSON: if you have done wrong and do something to cover up your skin, remember that all this will come back to you.