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DIARY OF DIRTY PONY.
Today mom taught me to write. I’m writing pack bad, but I try. Daddy P. (inaudible further) took away the drum. Tonight I’ll eat his stash of elite hay (I know where the bastard is hiding). November 19th
I had diarrhea all day. To write not to the magician on November 21
Dad said it's time to knock down the hooves. The family has no dough. They put ice cream. It is cheaper. Hoofs scratched all evening. Cried. December 15th
Masked guys came. They took mom. They looked at me for a long time. Mom was taken away on a bubble with the inscription "Circus". For the rest of the day, I was listening to the “Be leaving home” of the Beatles. I thought a lot and cried. Dad pinned up late. All in a strange manure and pretty drunk. He said that he was at the presentation. I know his presentation. Again with Pegim and Chernozhopy Kaurka we went to the hippodrome to watch overseas mares from the fence. I-go. I saw these in pictures in my father’s magazines. Like. I was excited. 21 December
They brought mom. Feathers on the head. Addicted to cigarettes, feeds only with hands (fu, with hooves). Eating (forgive mom) current lollipops. On the ass (sorry mom, Burka the bully taught) they added some kind of leather crap, such as a chair. One uncle sat on his mother and said "BUT !!!". MOM contacted the MAN !!! I decided that the family for me is no longer a fundamental tool in my living space (I peeped in the encyclopedia of horse breeding). The first time I drank swamp water, which dad forgot on the table. Igo, yoke-go. Crap. 27th of December
I'm a pony. I understood it only today. The hooligan is 2 years younger than me, and has grown by 3 heads. Found the word suicide in the newspaper. I thought a lot. Listening to Budyonny’s marches. I notice informal judgments. I decided to inflict the stigma of anarchy and pacific. It is necessary babosov. I grow a mane. I started to smoke. I carry chewing tobacco from my mom. Burka taught me to score. We smoke together. Mom is anarchy, dad is a glass of manure. Dad is not at home for the third day. December, 31st
Today is the New Year. The folder came with Blackfoot Kaurka and Pegim. All bukhiy. He pulled a tweet from him. Finally, I’ll do the pacific. Mom died. From an overdose of candy. Uncles arrived on the bubble. What is a meat canning factory? I'll look in the encyclopedia. The bitch, Burka the bully, made a pigtail out of the right page. They did not expand. They smoked it. Sorry mom. January 1st
Tonight, let's go to the teluhas from the neighboring stall. Burka-bully promised to show the udder. I’m glad in advance. I used to see current in pictures. Jerk off. 4 January
Fell in love. My name is Murka. Ass, what you need. An udder - you cannot grasp with four hooves. Sucked the first time. The boys really laugh. Che for what. Looked at the Terminator. I thought a lot. Arnie - you're a real horse. January 10th
Murka - turned out to be a cow. Guys, p. (Inaudible further). Hare Krishnas. I took a book to read. Kama Sutra. Everything, nah, I'm going there. Bananas, stitches, dots on the forehead. I want you. In the ass world. I want a war !!! Taliban - Faroese !!! I called to New York. Threatened. January 16th
The bill came from New York. Drugany say, dad jumped the whole city. I was looking for. I was hiding in a shed near Tpruni the dead. We talked. It turns out a good guy. It was he who drove the woods where his father chopped them. Nekrasov wrote from him. Trunya said so. And the boy with the bridle has died for a long time. How old is Tprune? January 20th
Trp, bitch, lied to everything. Scientists infected him in childhood as anthrax. Type for experiment. Barely left. True brains did not remain. Tprunya down and goof, and pi .. (further inaudible) is folding. I’ll take a closer look at acquaintances. February 02
What the hell. Burka hooligan - skinhead. Today I’ll talk to him. March 14th
Two days ago, came out of a coma. I can write. True hooves tremble. I remember little. Dad sent his friend with the gear. Mudila, probably half ate himself on the road. Or replaced. The silo is stale. Gives a reindeer moss. I know that. He used to be a deer. Changed orientation, bitch. Said daddy's busy. Like, got a job. Lit up. It turns out that Dad is pulling a cart. Dad is a rapper. Pissed off with laughter. March 15th.
Dad is a loader. Carts carries. I thought. March 23
Write out. Dad pinned up in a smart dad. Said we go to the zoo. Let's go. A clown freak poked a finger at me and screamed that he would write a song about me. I remembered the current that girls pony rides, boys pony rides boys. He told him that when I grow up I kicked his ass. I didn’t say it out loud. I love children. March 24
Daddy kicked my ass today. Found that I gobbled up his stash of elite hay. My dad is a molecular freak. Every molecule in him is perverted. Again I ran into a plump with friends, nerds hu. (Further inaudible). I'm going to work. April 10th.
Today, with my new friend Sivka and his dudes (lying in the clinic together), they went to the Matrix. Fucked. I want to study kung fu. Fell in love with Pythia. When I grow up. I'll find and fuck. He wrote a verse: Oh, Pythia - the flower of my garden. Not everyone is allowed to bake cookies. And if you, fucking, you'll be very glad. Ready to ride on a pile of ass. I want to send her. Need an address. He clarified with Bati whether we had an African people in our family. So what. He began to write to the Wachowski brothers. He made a tattoo on his right hoof: Pythia - I am yours !!! P.S. Sivka is a hereditary down. His grandfather was raised a kangaroo. Who are the kangaroos? 14th of April
Looking for a job. They offer all sorts of .. (hereinafter inaudible). Which of me is CFO? When she was a lady, a gypsy pinned. We talked. Pts was near the taxi park. The silver-plated bell led away, trash. Forever disowned the concepts of "camp" and "herd." 25th of April
Today some kind of guy came up to the streets and asked if I would like to work in an interesting Internet project. He called the address. Animallovers.com. I was stoned (today I washed the tanks at the brewery) and said that I agreed. He said he would call. What the hell project. Ahead is May 1. We agreed with Sivka to remove the Telukh. The 1 of May.
I put on a red bandana. I’m a communist now. Power to the lights and no cops, on. Sivka put on a mask of Chapaev’s horse. Well, fucking horse Chapaev, you can’t tell. He said a relative from the hillock sent. Dick dissident. Urine of the bourgeois. Teluhi fell away by themselves. Marriages of current for love. I love Lenin. But I don’t say it out loud. Social Revolutionaries around. May 2
SPS nicknames are freaks. So the liver was beaten off, that the second day the magician did not get up. I try not to turn on electrical appliances and lights. I take revenge on Chubais. Sivka crawled. He told me that he was taken to drown in the Urals. Spruce slipped away. To hell with such communism. I’ll become a Russophile, a Tolstoyan clefthorns. 16th of May
2 spirits came and the huntsman with them. They brought a battle. He showed them a cloven hoof (mother gave birth is difficult). We looked. Gave a debt. They told me to drop by a whit somehow (a ticket of this type). May 17
Freaks, it turns out I'm not fit for growth. And the pilots? Our guys are dying there, and am I here? Made a list: 1. Buy a horizontal bar 2. Do not piss for yourself May 24
What a Pythia fuck. Nicole Kidmyn - this is a woman. Cruz - you screwed up, loharik. She may now. Mission acc. Presented: Nicole and I - Kidmyn and Horse. May 25-26
Went away from the excessive effects of various alcohol on the 24th. (On the highway, a car with vodka turned upside down. I drove soft-boiled, they still can’t find passengers at all. But almost all the vodka has remained. Yes, we don’t have any horses. With Sivka we ran into the unconscious. To eyes wide closed.). They say Tprunya is to blame for the accident. However, what about the bad. Goodbye Tprunya. June 1st
Horse Day. They got drunk with Sivka like pigs. We went to the teluha farm. Ass from the salt hurts. Warmer does not save. Cried. June 18th
McCartney steers unequivocally. I wrote to him on E-mail. Congratulations. What is Message Delievery Report? And h-th is impossible? June 26th.
That type called from an internet project. He told me to come the day after tomorrow. Agree? Thought I'd go. I didn’t drink in the evening. June 28th
The first experience of oral sex. Dudes - I'm the real horse. The current is small. Filmed on a digital camera and a movie. They said they will show on TV and on campus. Dali poster: Pony on Zoofeely.net I also contacted people. This is from mom. Thought about suicide. Saved by babosy, caring put on my blanket. I'll go buy a beer. July, 12.
Magical green babosy. I did not think so enough. They have a special ability to reproduce. (The Sivkins ancestors flew over a hill with Shapito. He taught how to change them.) Diby people. If you give one, you get ten. Stall looks like a piece of beef. The whole county here has become a mess. Even Burka was a bully. He now works in the mentovik. Patrol. Maza is for the future. Where are the documents for the hut? July 16
They came from mentra. Xivi showed. Like my kennel interferes with the construction of an important strategic facility. Asked to show documents for housing. Where is dad? July 20
The fifth day I live at the station. I saw Blackfoot Kaurka. He said that daddy threw my hooves 2 months ago. Methyl alcohol from a canister at a chemical plant gulped. Yes, and potatoes from McDonald's. And the environment is also not important. Sorry dad. September 1
Ass. Cold blah. And why am I not some kind of musk ox. Now I would have grown wool and not steamed (not freezing in the sense). September 7th
I got a job at the refinery. Communication dad's ex. He juggled at a party of some Yukas or rode a bicycle. I’m shorter, some important type of them, Khodarkovsky or something, attached trolleys with workers to haul to the tower. What they are doing is not clear. Just in case, I’ll write to Burke the bully at the cop .. September 11
Fell in a tub with fuel oil. The spruce was pumped out. Now i'm black. I reread Tolkien. Decided to become a dark force. I smell it, it won’t work. 20 November.
Guys die .. Hey dude, testament left in blanket.
Pasha and Gulya
Situation. Let's go with a friend Pasha to a rehearsal. Naturally, the process will not work without doping, so we buy two low-alcohol drinks per brother, stand, drink, wait for his girl, Gulya. He loves her very much and is sometimes afraid This Gulya comes. Further dialogue:
- Gul, swallow? Gulya, with a suspicious look:
- This is what “Noosh” in a row? Pasha, with a guilty look, his eyes downcast:
- Orange ...
The wife does not cease to amaze with pearls. Spring Fever?
I went to cook cutlets. I sit, hang the strings on the guitar.
Voice from the kitchen:
- Honey, on which side do you fry cutlets? I forgot about the guitar for half an hour ...
My husband has a colleague at work - a young programmer. And there is a methodologist who gives tasks to programmers - a young girl. The girl has been trying for a long time to chew the task for the programmer, and he, like zero attention, buried his nose on her, does something. And so for ten minutes. She can't stand it:
“Will you finally pay attention to me or not ?!” To which he calmly replies:
- What for? Are you a monitor, or what? .. They say that with this phrase she has been reproaching him for a year ...
January 30, 2006
How I hate these her extended nails.
Again hurt. Everything hurts.
February 3rd. This one watched lesbian porn.
I saw a lot of ours. Well, they feel good there ...
Twice finished. Good. The second time from envy.
This gulnula. A drunken man with a two-day stubble breathed fumes on me for a long time, then scratched everything on his cheeks and fell asleep, crushing his forehead. The language didn’t get it. This burst into tears, I also wanted to, but I can’t.
This one looked at me in the bathroom mirror. Said I'm small. Bitch.
The neighbor from below flows again. This one bought some new gaskets. Stink of chamomile. Gasping for breath.
The 14th of February.
Wow! Wow! This girlfriend gave a vibrator. I think my personal life will finally begin. I shudder from adulation!
He is much better than her fingers with extended nails, but certainly inferior to the tongue. Although perhaps this is a matter of practice. In general, he is very cute, trembling so touching .. We agreed to chat sometime when This falls asleep.
How tired I am. Why can't I control myself? Why am I completely dependent on her insatiable libido? Tired of ending up with a wave of her hand. I want independence. I spoke with a neighbor, promised to help - she will work on a vaginal orgasm, if I succeed - I will take a vacation.
This one again gulled.
This time much more successful. MUCH !!!
At first I thought that everything would go to a neighbor. But on the second approach I was almost licked to death. Still dizzy.
Thinking about what I was essentially lucky. Take for example a neighbor - they constantly shove something in it, I could not stand it ..
Have been at the gynecologist. I have no attention. I begin to hate a neighbor slowly - well, why is all her attention only, although there is more pleasure from me ???
28th of February.
I’m still angry, I don’t speak with my neighbor and give this to finish.
Ah, spring .. The mood is so romantic that while this slept ended just like that from some existential delight. This one thinks that all because she dreamed of Brad Pitt. Fool! I really like Sean Penn.
In the morning, at heart, shouting to a distant neighbor. It’s also hard for him. He has a life in general - shit ...
At a corporate party, the boss pressed this one into the corner in the toilet, rubbed it with my finger for a long time, all to no avail. Maybe I'm frigid? This truth still pretended to be finished, but I can’t be a hypocrite!
9th of March.
The neighbor next to the flood again. How annoying it is. Will it really last a lifetime? He began to scold her, but she called me a nerd, and I have nothing to protest. Went to himself.
10th of March.
Due to the flood at the neighbor, This agreed to let the boss only to the distant neighbor. How then he was indignant. He does not like this business. But does she ask, the selfish devil ... And the boss - an asshole, does not pay attention to me at all.
This whole day cried because of a break with the boss. I'm glad. In the evening they were comforted by a vibrator. Feel better.
This one seems to have fallen in love. I can feel it. They are only kissing, but everything inside me is already freezing. How nice it is.
30th of March.
Everything was!!! He is very attentive and sensitive, he did everything right, I already blushed with pleasure! He told a neighbor that at such a rate, cunnilingus would need to be renamed clitlingus! Envy of me. Apparently nothing comes out with a vaginal orgasm.
Progress is obvious. They don’t forget about me, the neighbor is also happy, she says that he managed to find some strange point in her. Optimistic about the prospects of vaginal orgasm. For some reason, I am also positive. Apparently when this one is happy, I automatically feel good.
Dear diary, sorry for not writing for a long time. A month later, These have a wedding. I don’t know what good it is for me, but everyone is happy - both the neighbor from below and the distant neighbor. I heard a rumor that internal changes are coming in this. A neighbor says that she will have a hard time. But we all hope for the best. And what else remains? ...
We are not empty-handed!
We had a copy in our colorful company, we’ll call it Andryusha. He was already under forty, and he was a convinced bachelor. He changed me like gloves, no one stayed with him for more than two or three months, either because of his creepy andryushin appearance, or because of a very low salary. That is, he was, so to speak, insulted by God. And then strange things began to happen - now for one, then for another bunch of Andryusha appeared with the same lady, and a very pretty lady, from the age of 20. But all this was rumor for now ... We arranged a funny walk in the woods. Songs, vodka, yeah, night at the bonfires ... And now it appears that Andryusha comes up to the bonfire where your humble servant with his party sat. But not one. And with a lady who exactly corresponded to the descriptions - pretty, very young, looks like a girl.
She wears an Andrew’s jacket, he himself is wearing a sweater, that is, he displays gentlemanhood. The lady has an indefinite expression on her face, and without letting go, holds Andryusha's hand. But - her stomach clearly indicates why she has known so much time with the fearful Andryusha. In short, we invite them, Andrei introduced the lady. She doesn't say a word. Andryusha, according to her habit, entertains people, took a guitar, sang something - the lady was silent. The people are having fun, drinking, singing, in a word - in full accordance with the program - Lady Julia would even say a word. Strokes his stomach. Our compassionate women ask, like, is it not cold for you, Yulechka, to sit closer to the fire - she answers something vague. Our women gave Yulia a “foam”, put them in a better place to make it comfortable, ask how she feels, and so on — female, so to speak, compassion. And here the booze ends with us ... And it completely ends. Not a drop, not a gram, but still only warmed up. And then Andryusha pats Julia on the back and says in a cheerful tone:
- Well, Yulek! We are not empty-handed!
Julia, slowly dropping in and appreciating the situation, unfastens and takes out six huge bottles of vodka from her huge inner pockets ... Women are sedimented, men are delighted. But Andrei still married her a few months later.
Do you take the baboons?
We had in 1991 an office on the street. Kirov (now Myasnitskaya) in Moscow, not far from the Russian Trading System - the Russian Commodity and Raw Materials Exchange. We kept a brokerage office on the exchange. At that time, the exchange was more like a small wholesale market - every day a huge price list of 300 pages of small text was printed - who sells what, how much - broken down into groups of goods - from condoms and computers to color goods and pets. I somehow reveal quotes of the current day - my God, in the "pets" section there is the following:
- Name of goods: "Baboons (males)" Quantity: "4 pcs.
"Min. Lot:" 4 pcs. "Location" Moscow "Delivery method:" Pickup "Warranty:" Veterinary certificate "
Price: "$ 2000 / pcs." Well, we grumbled. An old friend came to me that day, owing me $ 500, which was a lot of money at that time. Again he began to ask for a respite. Mumbled, mumbled ... And then it dawned on me. I tell him:
- Listen, do you want to write off the debt?
- Of course, what to do?
- Yes, goods need to be re-edged for three days.
- No problem, he answers, what goods, where to pick up?
- Yes, they took four baboons at the exchange - and the charter will fly from Uzbekistan at the end of the week. And the seller urgently needs to be taken out.
He did not believe it - I quoted him in the nose.
“Where will I keep them?”
- Yes, in the bathroom.
- My ancestors will kill me!
- That's it, I put you on the counter, return the money! And feed something - I open stock quotes, find fruits and call:
- Brokerage 1255? Will you make a banana pallet with delivery?
I ask him:
- Say the address, they will deliver the bananas today, at the same time you will eat it yourself, and we will deliver the baboons tomorrow!
Well, he fell off his face, sat down, grabbed his head - and my friend adds fuel:
- So I'm calling the roof to start shaking you, or take the baboons?
In general, he agreed, and got into the idea that we were only playing it out when we started having variations on the theme that baboons now have just the mating season and they are homosexual - so he needs to preserve his virginity !!!
And he still hasn’t returned the debt to me!
We in InYaz had such a nasty docent in SovPrava (it was a long time ago), in tune, nicknamed Gnusov. And as you know, young ladies learn mainly in pedagogical department. And apparently, something with the docent was irreparable, because he ignored the small children, and clung to the girls every now and then and suspected him of a disloyal attitude. He considered all sorts of hickahs to be a mortal insult, and since he was chronically tongue-tied (one of the pearls:
- Divorce takes place when there can no longer be a joint life together ...), then the absolute majority from each course counted as personal enemies. And during one of the lectures, he clung to three girlfriends sitting on one row:
“You three!” What are your last names?
- The chicken coop.
Gnusov, in white heat:
- What-oh-oh ?! Get out of the audience! Anyway, I will find out who you are and let the dean know that you are mocking me here !!!
And the surnames were real ...
We had a seminar in the 10th grade on the topics of first aid. For what such happiness fell to the girls, and what the boys occupied with these two hours a week, I don’t remember, and it doesn’t matter. The case was led by a very colorful "powerful old man" who was a doctor during the war. And his favorite topic was field anesthesia. The answer to this topic was strictly according to the rules of the game. The algorithm, it seems, was like this - first you talk about general anesthesia, then "additional questions" began:
- And if you do not have medicines for general anesthesia?
- Then you need to give an injection for local anesthesia.
“And if you don’t have any medicine for the injection?”
“Then some painkillers.”
With a triumphant look:
“But you don’t have pills either, in the field ?!”
- Then you need to pour the patient a glass of alcohol. At this point, he blurred in a happy smile and set 5.
My son, 5 years old, was issued last Monday.
He hides from the TV series “Don't Be Born Beautiful,” and I don’t know what hooked him so much. But not about that. Since he likes the series terribly, he everywhere sings a song from this film. On Monday evening, we returned from a walk, my son pulls off his boots, and he sings like this:
- ... If in the heart lives loving ...
And so time 5. I ask him:
“Does love live in your heart?”
The answer shocked me.
- But what about all the women, so in the summer I’ll go to the beach to choose a woman for myself.
- And why actually in the summer? .
I get the answer:
- And what to look at them in the winter, they walk in fur coats. nothing is visible / So, right away the man is growing. And what will happen next?!
My friends had a dwarf hamster. Such a beautiful, gray with longitudinal dark stripes on the back. He liked to eat muesli, especially with raisins and nuts, seeds and other inedible things for a normal person. He lived in a transparent plastic box, the top of which consisted of a plastic grill, in the center of which was a small plastic lid, through which food and drink were served.
The lid simply snapped in by sending a little force to it. Sawdust was poured into the bottom of the box, in which this rodent rummaged from boredom. Like any normal sidekick, he was soon completely gored by such a life and began to look for a way to escape. First, he gnawed around the entire perimeter of the wall of the box, wherever he could get it, why the box got a matte shade to the height of its growth and ceased to be transparent. However, the plastic turned out to be thick and he, seeing the futility of this matter, still continued to do it - at least for some reason. It is clear that he was bored when he was constantly stared at, and to give him an intimate comfort, empty glasses of yogurt were dropped into the box. He slept in them, having surely turned the glass upside down, and climbed inside under the sawdust. What he did there - no one knows, probably, he hatched a daring plan of escape. After a while, he gnawed off a glass at all and a new one fell to him. This "face" carefully watched with its black beads for the principle of operation of the cover-hatch. And one fine day, the hamster pushed the upturned cup just under the hatch, but I must say that while standing on it he still didn’t reach the lid, then he grabbed the plastic top with his paws, pulled himself up and began to gnaw at the edge of the lid, exactly the one clicked on certain protrusions. The process of biting proceeded in an extremely uncomfortable position, since the hind legs were hanging in the air. The edge of the lid was gnawed exactly enough that it ceased to cling to these protrusions and the prisoner of the castle if opened the door with a slight movement of his shoulder and climbed out. I think he was completely satisfied at that moment. I must say that this process lasted more than one day, but he never did it with us, that is, no one saw this as he chews on the lid. In general, the escape was prepared in accordance with all the rules in secret from the jailers. This was only later, when he was hardly caught the next day (I think he was simply hungry and decided to give up), he stopped being shy and showed everyone how he did all this, periodically clinging to the bars and gnawing at the lid on which now stood liter can of water.
And seeing all this, how can one say that instincts drive animals? Most likely they are the same as us, only others.
Grandma and Princess
It was in the city of Saratov. On a sunny summer day, a tram goes along its usual route. The people are exhausted from the heat and boredom, and here at one of the stops an old lady, God's dandelion, bursts in.
I don’t know how in other cities of Russia, but in Saratov it’s the old women who are the first to break into any transport (will they select them there?), Actively occupy places, and then they start to groan about their sores and problems.
So, the old woman bursts in and begins to rush along the tram in search of free space, and suddenly, noticing the free space in the tail, begins to break through to the target.
A very cool little girl rode in the same tram (by the way, I didn’t just like it), frankly, an excellent “nipple”, of which there are many in the glorious city of Saratov (will they be selected there or what?). And now this sex bomb, without any second thought, not seeing the granny erupting, elegantly sits down on a free spot, something was in close proximity to her, and begins to contemplate the landscape outside the window with a bored look.
The old woman, who almost reached her cherished goal, from surprise and from such impudence just for a few seconds turns into a salt member, but when she comes to herself she begins to whine:
- What kind of youth went! No respect for old, sick people! All my conscious life without rest and rest, five shifts at the machine ... well, etc.
We didn’t have to persuade our sex goddess for a long time (whether she’s consciously caught or the old woman reminded her of her own grandmother) and she said:
"- Grandma, please sit down" - gives way.
The grandmother, fucked up by such an easy victory and from unexpected happiness, immediately plopped down on the vacant seat. Having attached her trunks and appreciating that talking with a sweaty uncle next to him would not work, the granny became a little sad and began to look around.
It should be mentioned here that there weren’t a lot of people in the tram, noon, the heat was terrible because of the same heat and young age the clothes of our queen corresponded to the tastes of the male half of the tram. Namely: a white transparent short (barely covering panties) dress, through which a lush, unburdened chest with bra and bikini-panties clearly loomed. In short, a complete jerk!
And so the granny's sharp eye suddenly clings to "ugly disgrace". Fortunately, when the grandmother fought for a "place in the sun" I still did not have time to look at our fairy, and even when she stood next to her, it was simply not possible not to notice such beauty. And the grandmother got her barrel organ: Oh, good people! Yes what ento is done! Absolutely shame!
Our geisha pretends that this is not about her and continues to contemplate the landscape outside the window with cold calm. The grandmother does not let up: - Lord! Yes, we did not dare to raise our eyes in these years, skirts dragged along the ground. And here in broad daylight is such a passion!
Then our supermodel begins to calm the old woman. And calmly like this:
“Grandma, why are you so divided.” Then it was a different time, etc.
The grandmother even more than ever wails and desperately turns her head in search of support and understanding among passengers, and without finding one, she’s gundit again:
- Yes, in our time, all the girls were afraid to fart, and not that ... well, etc.
Our pornstar answered her without raising the tone:
- Grandmother, calm down you, well, of course you were whiter in all your years, all your blush and whiter ... etc. No arguments already acted on the grandmother, and the grandmother’s bar fell completely: “Ento must be in the obschestvennoe place in this form!” Where the school looks, the council of veterans, the conductor, finally! The conductor guy was looking there, where the whole male half of the tram was. And here our star gives out the last argument in this situation in order to curb the completely unbelted old woman:
- Grandma, go on x ..!
Grandma jammed for a second:
- Yes, you ... Yes, you ... Yes, you and x ..- you probably never saw in my life!
To which our princess answers her:
- Grandma, if you collect all the x .. that I saw in my life and hang on you, then you would turn into a hedgehog.
Grandma with the speed of a supersonic bullet flew out of the tram ...
In Saratov that day was a record heat
Peter. The last frontier of defense.
No fucking, you look at these makvichs. Jopt, I’m a dick with them - it’s not right for them, it’s not that way, and they don’t like the fucking name! Who the fuck told you that in this fucking Maskwe you are talking right, huh? Chevo? Capital? Who is Maskva? The capital is Chevo - Armenia and Azerbaijan? Don’t bother, there are fewer masked Muscovites in Maskwe than my pubic hair. Damn it, of course - Maskva hid a lot of money from us and she doesn’t blow the dick - the Muscovites eat sturgeon, smear it with black caviar, and at the same time we choke on a black bread, abundantly watered with orphan tears. And dream at least once of the nestling to the atval.
And after all this, the Muscovites have the audacity to teach us - Us! Residents of the cultural fucking capital of Racia! - how to cook. Why the fuck are you panimayte in spelling, phonetics and the like garbage, huh? Did someone tweak something? Little fucking!
The only thing that the Covan Maladoye Maskofskoye generation has learned from literacy is Decl. Well, maybe looking for billboards. All! And there is nothing to fall into and politely ask: Daragye Petersburgers, do not tell us, stupid uyobkam, how to do it right - A DONKEY, or a donut? And by the way - here you have a little dough for this. We wouldn’t be foolish about fucking, wouldn’t be the Pateshatstsa over illiterate masks, which they would write the words “Ibazza” through “e”, and would explain in an understandable and understandable way - he’s a fucking donut round, but WITHOUT A HOLE! So in the beginning it was conceived. But there was no panache alu vapsche. But the donut was like that.
Once, one pimple youngster bought a dozen donuts. I ate them almost fse, there was only one donut. Pasmatrel is a young man and thinks - Fuck, for some reason nobody fucking give me a scumbag, in the mornings a flock - a pezdets, let me at least give a fuck a donut. Well, blasphemy, he sat in the kitchen, deprived the donut of defectiveness (that’s why the hole is in the bang!), The current was a little fricky - the huyak yigo mother enters the kitchen.
He enters and achieves from this sight. Our young man, from unexpectedness in a complete stupor, removes the crumpet from the swagigo dick and stuffs it into his mouth. Mother asks - Have you had something there?
And the young man, being still in a stupor, atreet - Pussy. But with a stuffed mouth, it overclocked like this - popshda. Mother, naturally, was tormented - a crumpet, she calmed down and left. Soon, the whole city began to donate donuts in order to get the most delicious donuts out of them. And the young man was called Mikhailo Lomonosoff.
But if with donuts and donuts we more or less dealt with, then with some other glories just a bummer.
Pachima, for example, a shawarma in Maskva is called shawarma - even I can’t blame it. In fact, the name is not fucking Russian, they came up with a campaign of his ara or azeri. So, fucking patchim, these LKNs in Maskvar do one thing, but in St. Petersburg another, eh? Type - diaspora raznaya? The Dudaevs keep shawarma in Maskva, and the Basaevs in St. Petersburg?
To what it comes to fucking - I have seen a stall in one of our races, and it says - SHAVERMA. And below, in brackets - (SHAURMA). Type for those in the tank.
Clinging to fucking. Speaking of stalls - the FSE is aware that they in Masqui are called stewards completely fucked up - with tents? Sagittarius, you would have called them caps! Well, they would ask me, I would pay - say the stall is from the word casket, in other words, the room for storing the praduktof. And the fucking tent is where the students are during the camping trip, and she has nothing to do with the stall! So no, fucking a Muscovite has a lot of pathos, they are smarter than FSEs, FSEs with balabasses, wheelbarrows and fucking tubes, neo-Bazza in the mouth. I said handsets? Okay, listen carefully.
Here is the problem for advanced GSM - user from the province.
Condition: 3/4 of your brain has been removed and you have become a true Muscovite.
Problem: Call the phone as if in a fucking way.
Huila fuck you, not Mabila! Fuck, well, what is it like that - such is the word, and it’s not in the Russian language. There is a handset, but no mobile phones! When I hear the word mabila, I immediately get the following associations:
mabila, kid, decl, sunflower seeds, stitching, fingers, adidas. What the fuck?
Guys, hey, hey, hey hell fucking up on the fuck before it's too late. Otherwise, you will buy shawarma with donuts in tents, eat all this, at the same time cormorant on the mobile. And then you go to paradyak to suppress a vku. Although sorry nah - I forgot: not in the front door, but in the entrance. Ebanuzza.
The man is about to shower, while his wife has just washed herself when the doorbell rings. After briefly figuring out whom to go to open, the wife gives up, quickly turns around in a towel and runs downstairs to find out who came. Opening the door, she sees her neighbor Bob. Without letting her say a word, Bob says, “I will give you $ 800 if you drop a towel.” After thinking a couple of seconds, the woman throws off a towel and stays naked in front of Bob. After enjoying the sight, Bob hands her $ 800 and leaves. Confused, but inspired by sudden luck, a woman, returning the towel to its original position, goes upstairs. When she returns to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower: “Who was that?” “Our neighbor, Bob,” she replies. “Excellent,” the husband says, “he didn’t say anything about the 800 dollars I lent him?” MORAL: If you share important information about investments and risks with your partners, you can avoid undesirable consequences.
A sales employee, service specialist, and their supervisor go to dinner and find an old oil lamp. They rub the lamp, and Jin appears in a cloud of smoke. Jin says: - "Usually I fulfill three wishes, so each of you can make one at a time." “Chur, I'm the first!” Says a sales employee. "I want to be in the Bahamas right now, to race without worries on a scooter on the waves." Puff! And it dissolves in the air. “I'm next!” The service specialist says. "I want to relax in Hawaii on the beach with a personal masseuse and an endless supply of Pina Colada." Puff! Disappears. “OK, it's your turn!” Says Gene to the manager. Then the manager says: - "I want these two to be in the office after lunch." MORAL: Always let your boss speak first
Once a farmer's donkey fell into a well. While the farmer was thinking what to do, the animal made mournful sounds for hours. Finally, the Farmer made a decision, he considered that the donkey was already old, and the well had to be closed anyway. It’s just not worth the effort to get the old donkey out. He invited all his neighbors to help him dig a well. All together they took up the shovels and began to dig and toss the earth into the well. The donkey immediately realized what was going on and began to publish a terrible screech. Then, to everyone's surprise, he fell silent. After several throws of land, the farmer decided to check and see how it was down there. He was amazed at what he saw there. With every piece of land falling on his back, the donkey was doing something completely unbelievable. He shook himself and stood on top of the discarded earth. While the farmer’s neighbors continued to throw the earth into the well, each time the animal was shaken and stood on top of the poured earth. Very soon everyone was surprised because they saw the donkey go up, jumped over the edge of the well and rushed forward like mad!
In life, you will encounter a lot of all sorts of dirt and every time life will send you a new and new portion. Whenever a lump of earth falls, shake yourself and go upstairs and only so you can get out of the well. Each of the problems that arise is like a stone to go to the stream. If you do not stop and do not give up, then you can get out of any deepest well. Shake yourself and go upstairs. To be happy, remember five simple rules:
1. Free your heart from hatred - forgive me.
2. Free your heart from unrest - most of them do not come true.
3. Lead a simple life and value what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
Well enough about that, but now:
A little later, the donkey nevertheless returned home and bit his farmer badly because he wanted to bury him alive. Later, an infection got into this deep wound, and in the end the farmer died in pain from septic shock.
MORALITY OF TODAY'S LESSON: if you did wrong and do something to cover your skin, remember that all this will come back to you.