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The best random discoveries of mankind
History shows that some scientific discoveries, including those that turned the world around, were made quite by accident.
Suffice it to recall Archimedes, who, falling into the bath, discovered the law, later named after him about the submerged bodies and the force pushing them, or Newton, on whom the famous apple fell. And finally, Mendeleev, who saw his table of elements in a dream.
Perhaps something here is an exaggeration, but there are quite specific examples showing that in science much depends on the case. Wired magazine collected some of them:
1. Viagra
As is well known Viagra was originally developed as a remedy for angina. Men all over the world should be grateful to the inhabitants of the town of Merleyr Taydfil in Wales. It was here in 1992 that a remarkable side effect of the drug was discovered during testing.
2. LSD
The Swiss scientist Albert Hofmann in 1943 became the first person to try the "acid". He noticed the effect of lysergic acid diethylamide when he was conducting medical research on the substance and its effect on the process of childbirth.
3. X-ray
In the XIX century, many scientists were interested in the rays that appear as a result of electron impacts on a metal target. However, the German scientist Wilhelm Roentgen discovered X-rays in 1895. He exposed various objects to this radiation and, changing them, accidentally saw a projection of the bones of his own hand appear on the wall.
4. Penicillin
Scottish scientist Alexander Fleming in 1928 was engaged in the study of influenza. One day, he noticed how blue-green mold (natural penicillin produce mold fungi), multiplying in one of the petri dishes, killed all the staphs there.
5. Artificial sweeteners
The three most common sugar replacers were discovered only because scientists forgot to wash their hands. Cyclamate (1937) and aspartame (1965) were a by-product of medical research, and saccharin (1879) was accidentally discovered in studies of coal tar derivatives.
6. Microwave ovens
Microwave radiators (magnetrons) worked on the Allied radars during the Second World War. New application opportunities came to light in 1946, when the magnetron melted a chocolate bar in the pocket of Percy Spencer, one of the engineers of the American company Raytheon.
7. Brandy
In the Middle Ages, wine merchants often evaporated water from a transported beverage so that it did not spoil and took up less space. Soon, some resourceful decided to do without the recovery phase. So brandy was born.
8. Vulcanized rubber
Uncured rubber is very unstable to external influences and smells bad. Charles Goodyear, after whom Goodyear was named, discovered the vulcanization process when he accidentally put a mixture of rubber and sulfur on a hot stove.
9. Potato chips
Chef George Krum invented the popular appetizer in 1853. When one of his clients complained that his potatoes were sliced ​​too thick, he took the potatoes, cut them into pieces almost thick with a piece of paper, and fried them. Thus, chips appeared.
10. Buns with raisins
It is also worth mentioning the legend, described by a Moscow connoisseur by journalist and writer Vladimir Gilyarovsky, that the famous baker Ivan Filippov invented a bun of raisins. Governor-General Arseny Zakrevsky, who bought a fresh roll for some reason, suddenly found a cockroach in it. Filippov, summoned to the carpet, grabbed an insect and ate it, saying that the general was wrong - it was a highlight. Returning to the bakery, Filippov ordered to immediately start baking buns with raisins, in order to justify himself before the governor.
15 THINGS that girls don't do in principle
That is, sometimes we do them all the same, and even get pleasure from them, but even then we understand that they are a clear violation of the unwritten “Code of Conduct with Men”, which we try to adhere to ...
Yes ... Let it not always work.

1. We do not come to meet you on time.
So that you do not have the deceptive impression that I take this meeting at least a little seriously. It is necessary to torture you!

2. We do not kiss with you on the first date.
Although it would seem, what's the difference: the first, second, that fifty-fifth, not in mathematics because of happiness.

3. We do not tell about the fact that we have dyed hair, contact lenses, veneers on the teeth, or silicone implants in the chest.
And certainly we are not going to discuss these interesting facts with you in detail. Did you notice? did you guess the best thing would be if you keep the results of these scientific studies with you. Professional illusionists, you know, cannot stand it either, when the secrets of their tricks become the property of the general public.

4. We do not sleep with you on the second date.
It’s not that I reread fairy tales in my childhood, in which all the most interesting things happen on the third night - they bring Wii there ... But I must, first, make you fit me, and secondly, how otherwise you will guess that I am a girl with strict moral principles?

5. We will not go to your house for the first time, without any reason, even the most trifling.
Think up, at least that be, offer to drink a unique, delicious tea varieties "Lipton" in tea bags. Seduce to offer to read the tutorial playing the bagpipes. Ask for help moving the refrigerator. I need excuse for conscience.

6. We do not call you earlier than three days after the date.
In theory, you, the animal, of course had to call himself. That evening!
As a last resort, the next day ... And, in an amicable way, I shouldn’t have had to desecrate my manicure by dialing your number ...
Because it is completely unclear why you are not calling.
There are three options:
a) you died
b) you didn’t like me (you’d rather die)
c) you are shy because you are timid and unsure of yourself.
Here, in the calculation of the option "in", I will call, but not earlier than 72 hours after our meeting - I will sit above the phone with a stopwatch, but I will not disgrace myself with a premature call.

7. We do not say that you have a small penis.
At least, as long as we still hope to continue the relationship. From our point of view, such recognition is the last frontier; the use of the nuclear button is the last explosion before the end of the world. As a last resort, we can give you something like "well ... it's not very big, but so wonderful !!!"
8. We do not admit that we can look at pictures with naked men for hours.
Because in men I am only interested in the soul. Didn't you know? I, after all, is not such a primitive organism as some.

9. We will never say "Honey, I will not go with you today.
Because I did not expect to continue the banquet and put on my favorite little old panties with yellow ducklings. In addition, hair removal in the bikini area, I now also leaves much to be desired.
I'd rather fly you, what nonsense about the fact that today I decided to better understand our feelings with you.

10. You and I will not have sex in silence.
Do you want the truth? Twice in my life, I, communicating with a man, actually felt an irrepressible need to yell, moan and howl. This man was my dentist.
In all other cases, I could easily and not utter a word, even experiencing ten orgasms in a row, but I need to somehow encourage you! Well, in general - the more passion sounds in the bedroom, the more exciting the sex is, and you will wait for the right sound effects? All the most have to.

11. We do not tolerate when you, taking off our panties, leave them hanging on one leg.
Immediately there is a feeling that you treat me insufficiently reverently. And you are only interested in one part of my body (although, I know for sure that you are interested in at least three ... no ... even four).

12. We will not be twice with oral sex with you!
Unless you are a paralyzed patient, and I am a sister of mercy, in all other cases, mercy does not work, I am not so eager to bring good to people.

13. We do not allow you to dig in the box with our laundry.
Would you like it if I opened the hood of the car, and started gambling at random there with a large spanner at random?

14. We will not have sex if you watch a porn movie at this moment.
I should excite you at this moment, and not that unpleasant Swedish woman. Do you at least pretend to look at me! And in general, your neck is now collapsed, if you do not immediately stop staring there - well, give me a remote!

15. We are very disgusted to ask you for money.
We prefer to have abstract conversations about how the mean government again inflated the prices of cocktail dresses and false nails. And then hope for the speed of your intellect.

From life.
How to influence people (Carnegie is resting). My brother, an employee of civil aviation, told me. The picture is as follows. The plane flight is quite local, from Siberia to Siberia. Before landing, the flight attendant, as expected, announces: - Citizens, passengers! Fasten your seat belts. Well, the people, for the most part, begin to fasten themselves. A seven by eight guy sits in the first row, and insolently ignores this reasonable demand. The stewardess, looking at the fellow, repeats: - Citizens, passengers! Fasten your seat belts! The reaction is again zero. Then the phrase is repeated personally to him: - Citizen! Fasten your seat belt !!! The answer is: - Yes, you went ... Well, the girl, of course, offended and went to complain to the commander. A minute later, a squash comforter flies out (short, a thin little muzhik, moreover a lisping lisp), jumps to this cupboard and utters the following monologue: - Muzyk! Here you imagine yourself! Now at the landing, if I hit the runway by the band, the plane would stop, but you went further. Baska forward. And here you are, a peg'wuyy peg'ebogku (bends his fingers), the second peg'bog'ku, take the peg'bog'ku and find yourself in my cabin. The question is - why the fuck are you talking to me there? The guy SILENT clips on. Salon in touch. A curtain.
It was all spring. We went with a colleague to customize the grid at the client. They missed decently, but they achieved their goals. Well, and the guys from the department say: - They say that it’s not a sin to drink for the success of such a business ... Our business is to offer ours, to agree ... We gave it to me well. A colleague in full swing recalls that the mother-in-law arrived today, and, accordingly, rushes home. We left the office - he was breaking into the bushes. Guys to him: - Sema, you fucking? He: - No, you have a thuya growing here. You squeeze a twig - there is no smell ... He chewed, and parted. Somewhere in two months they call us there. Again the problem. We approach the building, and Sema begins to laugh wildly, pokes a finger somewhere. I look - I do not believe my eyes. The men for two months, all thuja devoured.)
With such a ROE do not live long
There was a time - I was making in one of the shops of the flagship of the steel industry. There are 6 people in the brigade, one of them is Mikhalych. Pre-retirement age, excellent knowledge of the business, a mechanic of the highest class and as a result - the highest authority. In one of the bright days, he asked to go to the polyclinic - to issue a resort card, take tests and various other things. Going to the resort, it means. Well, flag in hand. The next day, it is necessary to take the test results and continue in a circle. Comes to dinner, in the eyes - emptiness. - What happened? - Came for the results, gave a piece of paper, and there ROE - 97! (I don’t remember exactly Tsifir, but I’ve learned significantly more than the norm). - And chevo eskulap speak? Will you live? - Why talk? And so everything is clear! Even the hospital was not offered to go to the statistics not to spoil! Here Mikhalych for the thousandth time told how during his service in the Sov. Army, he under Semipalatinsk collected in the field of sheep, which investigated the damaging factors of the atomic explosion. The story is old and familiar to the toothache, but here we are silent ... - And now what? - And what, with such a ROE do not live long. And since they do not offer to the hospital, it means there is not much left. Someone's ridiculous joke hung in the air. Mikhalych went up to his box and began to read out a testament: to whom the little ears are small, to whom are the wrenches, to whom is the actual box (nobody smiled at the phrase “I have another now”). I wanted to slap a peasant on the shoulder, say something like: “Throw nonsense, flog tea - make tea!”, But looking at the hunched figure of a 50-year-old peasant at once, he did not want to joke ... Mikhalych said softly, not reacting to others: “They said more today come by 16-00, probably the last time already. Tomorrow I do not know: I will come to replace, is not it? Maybe I will not get up ... My grandson has not yet gone to school ... It seems that some of us silently said goodbye to him that day. The next morning, Mikhalych came into the office where the shift meeting was taking place, whistling something Zalykhvast. The shop mechanic stopped in mid-sentence, 14 pairs of eyes took the size of the plate. - Mikhalych ?! Alive?! - And then there was no ROE, but a cabinet number. POINT. R. S. Glass in the workshop rang a long time.
Young, beautiful, let me read
It was somewhere in the year 93rd at the Kiev railway station. I then studied at the first year of the institute and grew quite long hair. Near Kiev was the market. Cigarettes, alcohol, meat, etc. There were still Roma there. So here. The gypsy catches my hand. It does not have time to consider. Says: "Young, beautiful, let me guess." And without waiting for my answer, I begin to predict a house — a full cup, a cloud of money, other blessings, and a BEAUTIFUL, BLOW-EYE BLOND !!! (for those who have not reached - I am a man). The people are standing around - they are choking with laughter ... but holding on! I play my role to the end. When she lifts her eyes to my face, I say very loudly: “Woman, you excuse me, but predictions are not destined to come true!” I'm not blue! (Creepy laughter around). After that, I am sure - Roma, even women, are much better runners than astrologers!
Work on the nerves
It was May 9, 1991. I decided to give my son an air gun, Izhevsk. It is so beautiful, black, with all sorts of things. And here I am going from Moscow to Bronnitsy, first the metro, then the bus, then on foot. And so that the cops did not pester the rifle, put it in the bag, and put the bag on the barrel, and it seems unnoticed that the gun. And after a two-hour journey, I overcome the last 500 meters to the apartment. The package is already quite, the poor overstrained, holding out from the last forces. And now imagine a still life: there is a tall man, in a black jacket, in black jeans, in black Cossacks, gray hair, shoulder-length, black circles under the eyes (programmer I), in his hands a tattered package with some formless garbage. And here two veterans catch up with me. One spravlyaet: - What are you, guy, so gray. Godkov is not a lot of you ... Probably, you went through Afgan? - No, just the work is like this, all on the nerves ... Here the package is finally torn, I say “damn, now I have to go back to the courtyards” and take the gun in the hands of a la St. John’s wort. Pause. A low voice after: - Yes ... And from such work and get an ulcer ...
Click it!
It was in 1988. I then served as a "fighter" in the valiant Soviet Army. Service carried at the airport signalman. "Ass in the soap, face in the mud. Where are you from? We are out of communication." On this day, I was the assistant attendant on communications at UPC. The UPC is a launch and command center; there is a house on all airfields, next to the runway, whose top floor is glass and from where they control all takeoffs, landings and other life on the strip. A communications attendant is a communications officer who is responsible for radios, telephones, a speakerphone, etc. during flights. His nickname was "Kirill". And usually he does not give a damn, and he sits all the flights, yawns. And there is a traffic light on the strip, almost normal, only without yellow. It is almost at the take-off point and duplicates permission to take-off in case of a radio failure. And it usually burns all flights are green, because do not use it almost. And the toggle switch is just next to Kirill's stool. And now the flights are in full swing, the planes take off, sit down one by one, the head of the flights, the colonel, taxis all, people on the UPC - 7-8 people, Kiryusha peacefully cheers on his stool, I try not to snore beside me. Suddenly, after the words of the head of the flight, in the microphone "I allow take-off", some wise man runs into the lane, and with a roll of roofing material on his shoulder. Hysterical screaming into the microphone: "postpone takeoff." And from the radio in response: "I am performing", and the plane begins to move to accelerate. Colonel yells: "To quit! Quit!" And the flyer does not hear. Fuck knows, whether the radio broke, or afterburner roars - interferes. The colonel turns to Kiryusha and “not in his own voice” yells: “Snap! Snap!” And he just woke up, his mouth opened and does not understand what is happening. At this time, the moodle successfully crosses the runway with its roofing material, the plane takes off. And the colonel, wiping sweat from his forehead: "yes, not E # face, Kirill, but a traffic light."
Where is the fire extinguisher?
It was my wife at work. They needed to buy fire extinguishers in each room there - like, the firemen got out with their extortion. Well, the boss gives the grandmother a pilot, he takes his partner with him (to make it easier to carry), get in the car and go somewhere where these notorious items are sold. Purchased (10 pieces) and go back. The traffic cop brakes them. And whether they somehow began to talk abruptly with him, or something else, but he began, as usual, to get to the bottom of everything - he collected all the documents, inspection, then-that. Then, of course, "where is the first-aid kit, where is the fire extinguisher" ... Guys and say to him with the meaning: "Let's go, we'll show." What happened next - everyone, probably, will introduce himself.
What is your chair?
I was then 11 years old. I got jaundice and went to the hospital. Somewhere after a short stay in it, in the evening I walked out of the chamber into the corridor. The nurse on duty that evening asked: “What is your chair?” (in the sense of what color). Maybe someone in 11 years and knows the other meanings of the word "chair", except as a piece of furniture, but I gave this phrase: - And we have two in the ward. The one that is darker and stronger is that one of Uncle Kolya’s neighbor, and the one that is brighter and more creaky is mine ...
Self taught
It was a celebration with us just now. We celebrated the same place where we live - in a student hostel. Warm up to her darling and, we have such a custom, they did not go to the balcony to sing songs with a guitar. Yes, it should be noted, we had a movie camera on which everything was recorded. And so, Sasha takes the guitar on the balcony and starts playing, but it works so well. Lesha in a state of "right now sing." And really sings, beautifully, sincerely, everyone has already heard ... A week goes by, again another party, this time WITHOUT heating, again to the balcony. They ask Sasha and Lesha to perform the song, which they got to the depths of their souls at the last session. And what song is that? - it is they who ask us. Well, we outlined them in the words. - Yes - says Sanya - a good song, sorry I do not know the chords. We start to precipitate. Here Leshka aggravates the situation: - I heard it several times, but I can not remember all the words, it will be necessary for someone to rewrite and learn. We are in a state of greggy: - But you played and sang it. Sanya played, Lech sang. - It can not be - they are both in one voice. - How can you perform a song without knowing any chords or words. - Wah - we are knocked down ... And then a ray of light in a dark kingdom: - We have it all recorded on camera. - Oh well, it can not be enough to make fun - they bend their own. - No, not true - we are trying to prove. Bring a tape and Vidic. .. We copied from the tape and the chords and the words ... I had to Leshka and Sasha teach them ... Learned from ourselves. R.S .: The mentality of a Russian student is like this: there are no cultural events without rehearsal (read warm-up).
Ladies shoes
It was my nephew Paschke at that time about 5-6 years old and he came to my parents to stay for the summer. Shoes had to be bought almost weekly - the child was very actively playing war games with new friends. But somehow another shoe fell apart even earlier than a week later - and there was no time to go for a new one. Just then a neighbor came, who had 2 daughters growing up and, having penetrated into the problem, promised to help. And in a few minutes she brought old sandals of sky-blue color and some subtle feminine style. Mom coped with the color - she carefully cleaned the sandals with black cream and they became dirty-gray, but for the war, the very thing. But with a style was more difficult. We decided to leave everything as is. Just then I ran home for a minute, saw the result and, in passing, said to Pasha - oh, what are your ladies' shoes! And he went to the street. And after a couple of minutes, and I went out. The picture is as follows - Pashka is surrounded by boys and they shout eagerly - and you have girl's sandals! Ha, respectively, haha. But Pashka is suspiciously calm and looks at the rest with some kind of arrogance. When the people laughed, Pasha proudly said: - You understand everything a lot! This is a ladies shoes! The boys fell silent, shy of their provincial ignorance. And it is still interesting to me - how would Pashka get out if someone had ventured to ask him - and what is this, actually? About who these ladies, he learned only a few years later.
Pushkin ordered?
It was literally last night. I called my friend in the suburban town of Pushkino. His number is indirect, that is, you need to call through the eight, you get a phone operator, you call her your phone number, name, and she dials to the subscriber after a while. I called, ordered, everything is fine, then a childhood friend came to visit me, we drank a bottle of aperitif with him. We sat, talked, enjoyed the meeting and life in general, completely out of touch with reality ... Suddenly, the phone rings. I pick up the phone (while in the room, the metal is screaming at full power, it’s audible badly), and from the pipe they ask in a mocking tone: “Did you order Pushkin?” I have already managed to forget about the call: -). I answer: - Girl, it is one in the morning, no need to make fun. And I hang up. A minute later they call again: “Did you ask for Pushkin?” I (with iron in my voice): - No. Do not have time to hang up, again: - Did you ask for Pushkin? I just throw a pipe. A minute later: “I am connecting with Pushkin ... I'm already beside myself. Oru: - Yes, even with Tolkien connect !!! The girl, having looked through something in the phone, is absolutely serious: - Today Pushkin was asked to call from your number ... I sit down to think who it could have pinned me ... It took me about fifteen minutes ... That's it. Drinking is bad, and telephonists are generally a moral hazard group.
It was in 1988. We, two friends, have just been taken away from the hospital. Passed the service "behind the river." We were then (oh, youth!) For 20 years. Who was in the war, he knows that after returning a few months, you feel, as they say now, a complete "scumbag". So we were such. We sit on a bench in the park of our small Siberian town - Arthur on the prosthesis, and I have two bullets pulled out of my belly. We drink beer. After vodka, of course. And talk, (what can be talk of 20-year-old boys, who returned from the war? About the war.) We are talking. Comrades cops as part of three gray personalities come up and start breeding us for grandmothers, arguing that they were drunk, in a public place, etc. Well, okay, we could not otbratatsya after one guardian loaded Arthur on the prosthesis with a bludgeon and was very surprised that he did not fall, our patience is over. Spent the mentosaurus - still nice to remember. At this the heroic part of the battle was over - many, many "gray" came and beat us and raked us. In the department, we appeared with broken physiognomies in front of the eyes of the eldest, the cap. And (O FATE!) He was also an Afghan and served in our regiment !!! Immediately the messenger was sent for vodka and then, having thoroughly taken on the chest, our cap decided to rehabilitate himself in our eyes. Having driven together the whole composition of his charitable institution, he informed them that a parade would now be given in honor of the participants in the Afghan war. So, the picture, the yard GOMA, the police captain and two beaten boys standing on the improvised podium, and walking with a parade step and saluting the crazed PPSniki. This picture I will remember all my life. R. S. Maybe it is not funny - but the truth!
Turnover department
It was like this: on our local television, our home-grown correspondent interviews a certain cop: - And now the deputy. .. Of the Division for drug trafficking ... well, etc. I giggle, then decided - who does not happen, well, wrong ... look no further - no !!! I was not mistaken, poor fellow !!! Among other things, this person declares: - Since the beginning of the year, we have so many kilograms of marijuana seized from us ...
Perezvany me pa telefonu!
It was autumn. I plow in the information center of one of the district departments of internal affairs in Muscovy. MIA, in other words. When in Moscow there were explosions of houses, we were all seconded to different departments, reinforced type. (Trishkin caftan, his mother ...) Well, in short, the night, we sit in the car, such as guarding the house. Already everything went around, looked in all the holes, it is impossible to sleep, checking, fucking, riding. And our friend with his subordinates is sitting on a nearby street, guarding there. Well, somewhere in the 3 nights, we hear his voice on the radio, he, you know, bored, so he gets a duty officer, having fun like that. He spotted some suspicious truck and wants to receive further instructions from the duty officer. And the duty officer, it should be noted, is a fat major, a Caucasian. It is very funny to listen to something with an Armenian accent on the radio, but this is no offense to anyone. And in those days there was a lunatic asylum, even the radio didn’t stop talking at night, even at 6 in the morning, and the duty officer was all in soap ... In short, our requests, requests, and the duty officer finally answers: - Perezvanye melo telofone! He pooled that no one was paying extra for his cell phone, but he was silent on the radio, well, we think he was calling. After 15-20 minutes, the angry voice of our comrade is heard on the radio, saying that you, your mother with the phone, I can’t reach you at all. And then the duty officer gives a classic example of ingenuity: - Pachem can not get away ?! With telafon all in paryadke, here, the tube in the hands of Derzhu .... Then there was laughter, probably for the whole district, it was possible to calculate all the hidden outfits with laughter, and how many phrases on the radio were of the type: - And you, asshole, do not hold it, but put it down! - and not count ...
Holiday in the hostel
It was a matter of many years ago when I lived in an institute hostel with two students from India. They tried very hard to learn and accept the common rules of life and, therefore, for a holiday they drank themselves up. And one of them was about to show what and how much he ate, that is, simply to puke. They put him on a bed and laid a newspaper on the floor in order to make it easier to clean. And he put his hands on the floor and began to read this newspaper. Something like the following happened: "The Soviet people ... be-ee-ee ... ugh ... celebrates a holiday ... be-ee ... ugh ... new labor successes ... be-e ee ... ugh ... "
Cognac, sheep, pig
It was a birthday of one of our hippies (hippies, i.e.). All drunk decently, some smoked. In general, all is well. Here comes late for three hours the main joker. And gives the birthday boy a cassette with some kind of porn. The people, of course, flew, come on, like, let's see, tear off. Come on. Sat down. And one, we will call him, say, Sucks, by that time got so angry that he hardly understood anything. All sat down, everyone is interested, Sucks half-sleeping. The cinema begins, at first it seems to be nothing, then the konyashki, sheep, pigs went. In short, some even glittered, well, and went to another room, leaving the video recorder on. Sucks asleep. Everybody left. Sit, have already forgotten about the movie. Here Sludge rushes into the room with bulging eyes, shouting to the whole apartment: - The people there ... There ... FISHES! It was necessary to see at what speed the people ran to another room ... It turned out that at the end of the cassette there was not a completely overwhelmed program about aquarium fish.
Excursions to Bastille
Were at an exhibition in Paris. I lived in a hotel in the city center in a double room with a friend. Well, naturally, in the evenings beer is a river, conversations for life, etc. And somehow, my friend tells me that he wants to fulfill his cherished childhood dream and visit ... Bastille. For those who do not know, I will say that the Bastille was demolished (I don’t remember exactly) either in 1789 or in 1793, in short, during the Great French Revolution, which we all burned at school. I understand that this is his subtle humor and I begin to laugh and tease, as a result of which it turns out that HE DOES NOT KNOW IT, which I declare to him. He certainly does not believe. Then I suggest he call our translator and ask. He calls, asks, and looks puzzled into the phone, from where just wild laughter is heard. It turns out that today our translator drove through Paris to the wives of our numerous bosses, who are in a categorical form from her, inherent only to the bosses' wives, the first number of the excursion TO LEAVE THEM IMMEDIATELY TO BASTILLIA AND VISIT THE CAMERA IN WHICH SODE "ARTANYAN !!!"
What show?
It was the case in the Plekhanovka hostel. Three comrades in one room (room for 2 students), drank all the fuel for about the second week. In the modest interior of the room for decoration was an old black and white TV "Record", and it was picked up somewhere for the purpose of simply standing for the visibility of the wealth of the inhabitants of the room. Since there are only two beds in the room, the third comrade had to sleep on a mattress in the middle of the room, and when he got up, he rested his face against the TV. Picture: later (approximately 140) morning. All woke up. They are silent. They remember that it was yesterday and they are afraid to say something extra (and suddenly it wasn’t). The third comrade (who was sleeping on the floor) raises his head, looks in his reflection on the TV screen, is clearly surprised and says: - Guys, no matter how you come, duck is sure to show some ## nude on TV.
It was the case. Our company, evolving neatly, lived up to the moment when the Internet was installed on all computers of our office. Moreover, the connection was not a modem, but it would erode through the radio (I apologize if I got it wrong in the title). That is, there was already a need to pay, not for airtime, but for downloaded megabytes of all sorts of things. But, as is often the case, porn sites have become the most actively visited sites. And in such a size that at the time it was thought that we were not a company, but a bunch of perverts. The administrator, in order not to incur the anger of the boss with the sum of the subscription fee for using the “net”, decided to start “stitch” (restrict access) on porn sites. And given the myriad of this "good" on the network, the administrator has been stitching up sites with a keyword. (Something like "porn", "sex", etc.). The prohibition of access was manifested in the fact that the STOP sign appeared on the whole screen and the inscription that access to perverts was limited - the receipt of complaints on a work phone ... and the administrator's phone number was indicated. And I must say that as a conscientious person, he did his work for the glory, and soon very few people could boast that they did make it to the cherished sites. The administrator just glowed with pleasure. After a week of this inhuman struggle for a bright future, tragedy broke out. The enraged chef, with a large gathering of people, began to carry the administrator into the tail and into the mane. At first, no one could understand the reason for this, and when they understood, they all collapsed. It turns out that the administrator, in a rush of feelings, “sewed up” the favorite page of the boss in a business newspaper called “ANALYTICS ...”
Figaro here, Figaro there
It was the case in London recently. In one large theater rehearsed the modern opera "The Adventures of the Wicked Bastard" of some Janasek. The lead singer (Quentin Hayes was his name), who played there the reptile skinhead, went on a break to call the street in the machine. He was dressed in a stage costume - a shirt with a flag all over his back, Doc Martens chobot, shaved head naked ... Well, he dials a number, and then two Negroes are scratching two meters up the street. They saw such a picture, pulled the singer out of the booth like a carrot from the garden, cornered to the wall and got ready to break into him n %%% dulya from the fullness of racial identity. Let us explain to the poor fellow that he was just dressed for the role, but wherever ... The artist saved himself only by singing "Figaro here, Figaro there ..." "Guys, hearing what cool roulades it takes, they believed that he was from Theater escaped - and released.