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Cat tongue
A cat lives at my place. Like any cat, she likes to crawl around the apartment. But I must say that in my room there are two doors. One leads to the entrance hall, the other to the loggia. When my cat wants me to open this or that door, it makes a sound. But for different doors the sounds are different. I kept thinking, I begin to understand the cat language or do I need to buy less beer?
I told my friend about this, so he not only supported me, but also told about the experiment he conducted this summer in the village. He climbed onto the roof of the house (one-story), and threw the cat down - there was only one sound.
Then he climbed onto the barn and did the same thing - the sound was different. The companion claimed that the first sound meant: "I am flying from home," and the second: "I am flying from the barn." He had almost completed his experiments, but the cat escaped, could not endure the suffering for science. The cat left at night, while he screamed terribly and woke the whole village. No one in the village thought that he understood the cat’s language, but everyone that night was sure: they heard a mate, a perfect feline.

Ringer's solution
A fellow biochemist who worked for some time in England told. Well, Duc comes into the laboratory graduate student. She needs to make a solution of Ringer or something. Asks:
“Where's your reagent cabinet?”
They show her. She reads her recipe: sodium chlorine - so many grams. Weighs. Potassium chlorine - weighs.
Calcium chlorine, sodium hydrocarbonate, glucose - weighs.
Looking for something in the closet for a long time. Then he asks:
- And where does your pH lie?
Curtain.

Good-looking girl!
I was traveling with a group of fifteen teenagers from Tbilisi to a town with a hard-to-remember name. The train runs once a day, so I don’t want to miss it. We are sitting at the station, waiting for the announcement. Suddenly, amidst the stream of Georgian speech from the Matugulnik, we hear a familiar word - our final destination. We are undermined, I run into the car, got on, are counted - one is not enough! Let's get started. I run to the drivers, I say:
- Guys, please wait a little, I have a group of teenagers, one walks somewhere ...
- What are you talking about, daragoy! as the boy appears, come. as you say, and let's go!
I run into my carriage, grab two boys and tell them to run and look for this freak. As soon as these two escaped, a missing person with a pie comes out of the passage leisurely. He expressed everything that I think of him and his relatives, and sent to look for those two.
When everyone was found, I go to the driver, I say:
- Thank you very much, everyone was there, you can go ...
Going to leave when the driver says:
- Listen, do you want to take the train?
I say, they say, it would be interesting ... Only I have a group there in the car ...
- Why freeze there! take your group and come all here!
I must say that the windows were broken, and it was really cold in the cars. I take the boys and go to the drivers. Crowded, we go, closely, but fun. I move the lever, trying to properly stop the train near the platform. Either the staff will not reach, or vice versa, a flight of 100 meters ... Somewhere halfway, the driver turns to the smallest girl and asks:
- How are you screaming, girl?
- Masha ...
- Masha, do you want to take a train?
- Want!
They put the girl in front of the lever. And when overclocking, there is a trick - you need to move the lever one division, and gradually increase the power to the third division. A girl with a happy face pulls the lever to the third ... A rumble, a sharp jerk ... and suddenly darkness and silence fell ... Everyone is silent. I don’t know what to do, Masha has a wild fright in her eyes, she is trying to fall to the floor and sob ... And then a cheerful voice of the driver is heard:
- Well done, Masha! Good-looking girl! Palamala train!
Everything ended well, the fuse changed and drove off.

We are calculating!
I'm driving in the 40th bus. Nearby are three young men (as it turned out later, cadets of the missile forces). Yes, seemingly ordinary people dressed in civilian rags (that is, the appearance does not cause suspicion among others). From the interior of the bus, the conductor calls:
- We pay the fare!
- A man with a girl and what do you have for travel ?!
- Entered pay off - pay off!
Everything is in the same vein as usual. So, this conductor comes up to us and pronounces one of her recruiting requirements in the usual tone: - So, here are young people - we are paying off!
And then one of my neighbors, in a sitting place, without blinking an eye, answers:
- First!
2 content:
- Second!
Third:
- First!
I have no choice but to say the following:
- Second! The calculation is over, comrade conductor!
And as if in confirmation of his words, present her with her travel card (preferential for organizations).
The conductor’s jaw closes slowly. And she says the catchphrase:
- Are these (a nod towards the neighbors) going with you?
Assessing the situation, I honestly answer:
“Apparently, yes.”
Conductress:
- Ah, well, yes - well, yes, sorry.
And it follows further to other passengers. Curtain.

20 hard drives
Excerpt from the letter of Mamonov Valery Fedorovich (beginning. Department of Aut. Reg.). You declared 20 hard drives of 200 MB each, and you received 6 of 6 GB, which is equivalent to 30 hard drives of 200 MB each.
By correctly distributing the resulting technique, you can almost completely solve the problem of external memory. Threat. The locksmith asked for three bolts at 12, and he was given 1 at 36. Ku ...

One breed
One breeder, who is very intelligent in appearance, has a bad habit - to joke with an absolutely serious expression on his face. And while walking with his dachshund, he talked with the owner of the Doberman. They chatted, and the mistress of the Doberman in between asked:
“Have you seen that our sabaks are so similar?”
- Naturally, because it is one and the same breed.
- How is one?
“Well, you look at how similar they are.” That's just the ears ... Have you stopped yours?
- Yes, in three weeks.
“But we are not.” See how gorgeous ears have grown?
- Yes, the ears are gorgeous ...
- Here are the tails too - did you stop yours?
- YES...
“But we are not.” See which tail?
- Yes, the tail ... dobok's mistress answers thoughtfully.
- But the paws - you see, you did not stop yours?
- NO ... But is it really necessary?
- Yes, the front - at three weeks, and the back - at five ... See, what paws? The owner of the dobka left, thinking deeply ...

Love is in your hands
I saw an advertisement for ladies' gloss or something like this near the metro:
"Love is in your hands"
And exactly under this, same font size, municipal announcement:
"Hand trading prohibited"
It’s from what hangover that can be hung out by chance!
Where he was born
I read a passport application form of one Turk.
The column "Where was born" - it says "Nowhere." Slowly re-reading ... again ... more ... I understand that this is someone's joke ... Just in case, I look for his passport, check ... and crawl to the floor:
The column "Рlасе of birth" - it is written "Nigde".
How to get a good job What if you damn want to work? (Some useful tips) The best thing, of course, is to look for work through friends. Ask your friends and relatives if they need bosses, bosses, bosses or, at worst, “bumps” at work. It is much easier to find a job, having an office, phone, car and driver. Bypassing employers in a personal machine, you are far ahead of your competitors. It would also be nice to have a secretary who would select vacancies for you. Experience shows that almost any person can easily get a job and successfully work as an English, French and German teacher in a rural school. If you decide to submit a job advertisement to the newspaper, at the end, be sure to write: “Sex is obligatory.” We guarantee that this will attract the attention of employers. Dress appropriately for the position you intend to occupy. For example, if you are going to get a job in network marketing, put on a smile and a suit with a tie, and if you are going to get a prostitute in a bathhouse, black tights or leggings, a miniskirt and a bright, catchy make-up will do. Mustache shaved better. Sitting opposite the future boss and listening carefully to him, sharpen pencils at the same time, straighten the paper, wipe the phone, write down two or three notes in his diary. Do not look the future director directly in the eye. They, dogs, do not like this ... To the question "What kind of salary would you like to receive?" one should answer in surprise: "How! There will also be a salary ?!" Surprise must be sincere, it is very important. In the process of further conversation, carefully ask if you will be paid a salary six months in advance. And back. Talk about the reason why you quit your last job, evasively. Say something streamlined, general, for example, “they fired me for a booze ...”, “well, for absenteeism ...” or “ah, I beat the director ...”. In the work book, under each line about dismissal, add the same ink in the same handwriting: "... But we do not say goodbye!", "... Do not forget, come in!", "Come back, we will forgive you all!". Lovely unemployed girls! Fear non-traditional bosses. Their secretaries really have to work. When settling down as a speaker on a radio or television, you can make a little joke. For example: "I’ve already worked on television on-for ... Announcer-on ...". It is possible that your joke will be appreciated. When asked about education, you can safely say, for example, that you are a lawyer. Anyway, the current legislation is almost impossible to verify.
10 things you didn’t know about beer 1. In Babylonia, 4000 years ago, there was a custom according to which the bride’s father drank honey in-law for a month after the wedding. Therefore, the first month after the wedding was called "honeymoon."
2. Before the thermometers were invented, the brewers had to put their thumb in the brewing beer to determine the correct temperature for adding yeast. Too cold - and the yeast will not work. Too hot - and the yeast will die. Hence the expression "rule of the thumb."
3. Assyrian writings 2000 BC claim that beer was stored in Noah's Ark.
4. After using a bucket of another amber brew called "aul" or "el", the Vikings fearlessly threw themselves into battle in what they were, sometimes even without shirts. In fact, the term "berserker" in Old Norse means "shirtless", and over time it began to mean a fierce battle.
5. The ancient Egyptians greeted each other with the phrase "Bread and beer." They also honored Isis, the goddess of fertility and beer.
6. The oldest recipe in the world - a beer recipe.
7. Historians have found evidence that in the Middle Ages, when monks brewed beer in monasteries, each monk was allowed to drink almost 5 liters of beer per day.
8. The largest collection of beer bottles belongs to Ron Werner, who has collected 11644 different bottles since 1982. Of these, 7128 are closed.
9. The largest beer festival in the world is Oktoberfest.
10. Hop - a magical flower, thanks to which there is a tasty beer. Hops grow vines and every autumn its flowers are picked.


EDUCATIONAL COURSES FOR WOMEN 1. Telephone conversation: How to hang up.
2. Unopened checks: How to leave something on the account.
3. Fighting Imelda Marcos syndrome: Why do you need a new pair of shoes every day?
4. Man management: How to portray washing dishes in the form of an erotic game, and cleaning the bathroom - in the form of hardcore porn.
5. TV remote controls: For men only!
6. Bathroom etiquette I: Men also need at least a small shelf in the bathroom.
7. Bathroom etiquette II: His razor is only HIS razor!
8. Communication skills I: Tears are the last argument, not the first.
9. Communication Ability II: Think Before You Talk.
10. Ability to communicate III: Get what you want not immediately and not annoying.
11. Evaluation of events: Not only because it is not important to you.
12. Safe driving: This can be learned.
13. Gasoline and oil: This is necessary for the car to go.
14. Introduction to parking: Acoustic hallucinations.
15. Skillful parking: Space exploration.
16. Parking without crashes: 3D-action game.
17. Delicious food: heat or fat.
18. Mastering the stove I: Introducing the fried eggs.
19. Mastering the Cooker II: Peeling potatoes and protective hand creams is a way to really save cooking oil.
20. Mastering the Cooker III: Dietary Nutrition and Severe Nervous Disorders.
21. Mastering the stove IV: How not to poison a husband.
22. Household dust: Indicator of the need to invite guests.
23. Big wash: It’s easier to wash everything at once, including the tablecloth from the year before last.
24. Ballet: Do not drag your husband there - he will begin to compare and think about what should not be allowed.
25. Classical style of dress: Inconvenience and presentable appearance provided.
26. Party etiquette: The art of drinking for someone’s health without losing their own. 27. Compliments: Their graceful reception, the art of distinguishing K. proper from skillful harassment.
28. PMS: This is YOUR problem - not his!
29. Sexy lingerie: Just in case.
30. Dancing: Why men are cold to rhythmic dancing and not indifferent to procrastination - the correct use of sexy lingerie.
31. “In these jeans do I look like a fat man?”: Why do men lie.
32. Sex: Sometimes you have to do this after the wedding, sometimes even with your husband.
33. The ability to properly enter the public toilet.
34. Silence, the last limit: A place where a woman’s foot has not set foot.


Ten of the strangest questions Published 10 of the most popular questions, which in normal conditions can not be found anywhere, but which, nevertheless, are of interest to many people.

1. Does a person experience pain when his head is chopped off?

Answer: yes, it does. As a result of a medical study conducted in 1983, it was concluded that no matter how quickly the execution is carried out, a few seconds of pain are inevitable when a person loses his head. Even when using the guillotine, which is considered one of the most “humane” means of decapitation, one cannot avoid severe pain, which will last at least 2-3 seconds.

2. Why are pineapples so prickly?

The prickly outside of pineapples seems to contradict the very purpose of this fruit: how can animals get to the sweet pulp that is inside?

The fact is that those pineapples that are sold in stores are actually quite unripe. Animals in the forests eat pineapples after they ripen. Ripe pineapple becomes soft, it is already easy to open, and then the animals eat it. The prickly outside is present in the fruits of many plants to protect the fruits until they are fully ripe.

3. What are the sizes of the wormhole?

The mole feeds on worms and other reptiles that penetrate its underworld. The size of the wormhole depends on how rich the living creature is in the land in which the mole lives. Of course, the hole in the mole living under a lush meadow will be significantly smaller than the hole that the mole dwells in acidic soil. In total, an adult mole can dig a hole, the area of ​​which will be more than 7 thousand square meters, having built a multi-level network of tunnels, which can have up to 6 levels. The mole digs a hole deep, with various passages and "pantries" in which it stores its prey.

4. If you are wearing black pants or a skirt, does your ass look smaller from this?

Answer: yes, it is. The human eye perceives light colors better, so the outlines of body parts in dark clothes seem smaller in size. The problem is that this only works when you look at a person from behind. When you look at it from the side, the butt reveals its true size.

5. Why does stinging nettle hurt so much?

When touched, the nettle causes such a strong discomfort because this plant releases a mixture of 3 chemicals when the delicate hairs on its leaves are destroyed by contact with human skin. Against a burn with these acidic chemicals that make up the nettle, it is customary to use a tool such as applying sorrel to the affected area of ​​the skin, which releases alkali when rubbing it against the skin. The effectiveness of this remedy raises questions, some believe that the pain is actually reduced because a cool sorrel leaf cools the skin.

6. How many types of microorganisms live on or in the human body?

There are about 200 such microorganisms, with 80 in the mouth. Our body is a whole factory for the production of microbes. Every day, our body secretes from 100 billion to 100 trillion bacteria. On every square centimeter of the human intestine there are up to 10 billion microbes, on every square centimeter of the skin up to 10 million. Most microbes are found on the teeth, in the throat and in the digestive tract, where the concentration of microbes is a thousand times higher than on the surface of the skin. In addition, parasites such as a follicular tick are found on the human body, which does not harm a person by eating dead skin cells. Other parasites cannot be called harmless. For example, the amoeba Naegleria fowlery penetrates the human brain and multiplies there until a person dies.

7. Why, if you lubricate the cut apple with lemon juice, it does not darken?

The answer to this question lies in the cellular structure of the apple. When the knife cuts the peel, apple cells are destroyed, and the air oxidizes the enzymes of this fruit. The process, when the apple turns brown, is aimed at helping the healing process of the cells, as well as making the apple unattractive to animals who would like to eat it. And citric acid, which is contained in lemon, slows down this process of changing the color of the apple cut.

8. How fat should a person become in order to be bulletproof?

To do this, you would have to become terribly fat. A bullet of the most common caliber -9 mm is capable of piercing 60 cm of human flesh to a complete stop. In addition, even if the bullet got stuck in body fat, a bullet strike would cause serious damage to internal organs, and a person could die from vascular thrombosis.

9. What animals eat wasps?

Wasps are eaten by birds, skunks, bears, weasels, rats and mice. Wasps and bees eat 133 species of birds that avoid the bites of these insects, crushing them on the trunk or branches of trees. Badgers dig up wasp nests and consume their contents in food, despite the apparent displeasure and resistance of the nest inhabitants. Dragonflies, frogs, moths and beetles also eat wasps. The larvae of some species of wasps taste good if they are fried in oil.

10. Why didn't nature invent the wheel?

Nature invented it, it was just invisible until recently. Microorganisms use round discs to move around. Bacteria move with the help of "wheels" - they move by attaching to the "wheel" in the cell membrane. This wheel spins at tremendous speed (up to 100 revolutions per second) and generates electricity that charges the proteins attached to the cell membrane


Flying gossip Residents of the small town of Pasadena (California) quarreled ... because of parrots.
Cute birds learned to repeat phrases for people - and began to transmit all the gossip they heard!
The first case occurred when a woman was hanging laundry in the yard and heard a parrot on the roof of the house saying something like: "Steve is walking ... Steve is walking ..." Her husband was called Steve. An interested aunt gave the parrot seeds, and he continued: "Waitress Tiffany! Waitress Tiffany!" The aunt in a rage ran into the only restaurant in the town, found out that a certain Tiffany really worked there, and filled her face.
And away we go ... Unfaithful lovers, battered wives, homosexuals and secret alcoholics - all the "dirty linen" crawled out. Lovely birds warm their ears and carry gossip, while neighbors listen to them. And knead each other in black!
Ornithologists believe that people themselves are to blame: there was no need to feed - to encourage parrots for their talkativeness. And anyway, you don’t sin!


Tea will not bring to good.
The son came home and hesitated for a long time at the entrance, taking off his shoes and panting - apparently, deciding to do something, but not daring to start. An old mother, seeing this, driven by maternal love, decided to help him:

- Son, something happened, son? - and wiped her wet hands on a colorful apron. “No, mother, nothing, just don’t worry,” his son began to fuss with a rebellious boot.
- Well, what, son, I see that you want to say something, you can’t deceive your mother’s heart.
The son took off his shoe and straightened up, involuntarily shaking his blond bangs, his mother already admired - "what a handsome man he has grown! Surely he fell in love and is afraid to say, he thinks, I do not approve, silly girl."
“Mom,” his voice trembled. - Mama! I have long wanted to tell, but did not dare ...
Mom froze in a sweet anticipation: "very big!"
“Mom,” he continued, “I must confess to you that I am drinking tea.”
Mother remained standing, as she was, afraid to believe - "now it turns out that it seemed to me and he said something completely different," but her heart seemed to be gripped by a strong cold vice.
“Yes, mother,” the son, who rejected any hesitation, continued, looking straight into her eyes, “I am drinking tea.” I’ve been drinking for a long time. I started drinking tea two years ago and now I drink it every day, sometimes already two cups.
“But you didn’t do it yourself ... you were forced to ...” muttered a mother close to fainting. - Son ... my son ...
“No, myself,” the son snapped. “I tried because I was interested and I liked it.” I was pleased to drink hot liquid, taste the tea in my mouth, I liked the energy coming with it, I began to study better and I made new friends who also drink tea - they are wonderful people, mom! And tea has nothing to do with it, yes, mother, it’s not about tea at all! We even do exercises with them! Mother, as if slanted, sank down the wall, clasped her head in her hands and sobbed into her voice. The son, seeing this, threw off his mask of self-confidence and, kneeling down, clung to his mother:
- Mom, well, mom, what are you, mom, I’m not even brewing it lightly, even now it’s not strong, I’m just to get a taste, what are you, mother, many live with this, mother, don’t cry, Mom, what do you want, well, I’ll quit, Mom, I really quit, I can, just don’t cry, please, Mom, don’t cry ...
- Throw it? - mother suddenly exclaimed sharply and shrillly in tears. - Throw it, right? How is your folder, quit? Drank tea, drank, and where is he now? BUT? In Bobruisk, I suppose? What are you doing with me, you kind of bastard, I raised you, I didn’t sleep at night, and you drink tea ... He makes it. And I knew for a long time, I saw that you go to bed half an hour later, and that you brush your teeth too much ... that you’re kind of funny ...
Then she remembered something else and burst into tears again, crying out in a furious voice:
- And also exercises! .. You bloodsucker, you want my death ... son, but what do you do with yourself ... I suppose, and you do exercises with boys ...
- Well, you, mother, I infrequently ...
- I know everything! I've seen enough of you on TV! Every day new show! - She got up and sat down heavily on a stool. - Ehhh ...
You upset me, son ... Bring your mom some medicine ...
The son dashed headlong into his mother’s bedroom, brought in a powder, a syringe and a spoon, quickly brewed it, picked it up and, without aiming, hit his mother in a vein and made an injection.
The wrinkles on Mom's face gradually smoothed out and a blissful smile emerged.
- Alright ... give me a cigarette, son ...


Forest squirrel
We recently bought chocolate here. It is called "Forest Squirrel".
Already ridiculous, especially if used as an appetizer for vodka, but in the lap of nature. However, the box is pretty, the ladies especially liked it. A squirrel is drawn - entirely, by the way.
But we turn the box over, on the back side we read:
"Composition: proteins - 8.5% ..."
What is it that they want to say that, besides the ears, they ate everything else themselves ?!


Caution, reverse!
You know, probably, some motorists use different tricks so that when reversing, people scatter where to where. So voto, I have a friend who, while on a business trip in Turkey, rented some minivan, which when turning on the rear wheel horn gave a very natural hysterical cry for a six-month-old child with powerful vocal cords. A friend was not enough kondraty when he first chopped the rear van and drove off, and she shouted aaaaaaaaa! Everything, the child thinks, drove to death. The truth then relieved when I figured out what's what.

Acknowledgment In one magazine I read a story about emigrants who got a job as taxi drivers in New York. So, one of these taxi drivers was a doctor in the Union. English has not yet mastered, especially curses. This was used by his colleagues taxi drivers, immigrants of the former USSR, who lived and worked in the United States for more than one year. One of these guys "taught" to thank this doctor for his clients who gave extra cents for seagulls and a muffin - instead of saying "wank wo" say "wo wk".
Once, an ex-American woman got in a taxi in this taxi and gave him a whole dollar (!!!) for tea on the occasion of some holiday or she was in a good mood. An unsuspecting driver thanks her, as he was "taught":
- Fusk уоu!
- How dare you?! - the poor old woman is indignant. - I gave you a whole dollar!
- Well, fine, grandma. If you are not happy with my gratitude, then I can repeat to you: "I fusk Woo weru muh."
Thousand condoms
Yesterday, my friend ran into the pharmacy for a minute and bought a THOUSAND condoms in front of a stiff crowd. I modestly stood by in the hope of hearing the cry of some grandmother:
- More than three hundred in one hand - do not let go !!!
But the line was silent. Even when Masha solemnly handed me four huge packages and exhaled in a well-posed theatrical voice:
- Hold on, tireless !!!
... Then we packed these condoms for an hour in gift boxes with the inscription "8th Advertising Festival.
Souvenir".

Five inch floppy disk
The real case. When I was still in school, they taught us computer science. The teacher shows the students a 5-inch diskette, holding it with her fingers for the same cutout in the shell through which the reading takes place. One of the “advanced” students tells her:
- Mary Ivanna! But you can’t take diskettes like that (for this place)!
- That's right, children! This is how computer viruses get onto floppy disks!

Ram
The queue for refueling. A tinted “nine” drives up to the column past the line, simultaneously scratching the door of the hunchbacked “lock” from the line with the bumper. From the "constipation" grandfather crawls out, and begins to yell at the "nine" carrier, they say, look where you are going. A guy comes out of the “nine” without hesitation, crashes his grandfather in the face and sits back. The grandfather, wiped himself, gets into his "constipation", accelerates and rams the "nine" in the middle in the middle, pushing both its doors. Then he goes around this "nine" on the left, and, not allowing the carrier to get out, rams again, jamming the carrier "nine" inside. After that he leans out of the window and shouts:
- _Ya_ in the war _tanks_ took on the ram, and then all sorts of milkmen _menya_ will be beaten !!! And leaves.

Feeding with payment
We sit, do not touch anyone, we do not feed the cat - not because they are evil, but broke. The cat brings in the teeth 5 rubles (coin) and puts it next to the bowl. Kidding. A cat gets a legal tail from a sprat.
We sit further - we do not feed the cat. A cat with one professional paw blow takes a fifty-fifty off the table and takes it in an unknown direction, full of dignity.
We lie on the table.

Wanderlust
Sunday. Noon (around 1 p.m.). Provincial town. In the central square there was nobody - everyone wandered around the market and went to soak purchases. Near the entrance to the central post office posted ads. Near the wall, a crow sits on an urn (I stand 20 meters away). He carefully looks at the ads by moving his head in different directions.
Then he jumps onto the curb that runs along the perimeter of the wall, approaches one advertisement, tears off the phone number and flies away with it. I went to the wall and read: "
A new house is being sold in the village ... "A crow was clearly drawn to a change of place.
So say that only people read announcements ...

Kuzka
We walk with our dog Dora, the woman joined us, with the dog Kuzka, not far from the place mothers walk with the kids ... A baby (about five years old, no more) came up to us, stroked the little dog, asked who his name was, and then joyfully told my companion:
- Aunt! I know you! You are the same Kuzkina mother!

You have to catch the robbers!
A client came to the bank. Rumpled, fingal under the eye. I came to block the card. He says that on Saturday evening he was robbed near an ATM, which sticks out onto the street from the premises of the bank. He blocked the card and says:
- You have to catch the robbers.
They answer him, they say, is the matter of law enforcement agencies. What the client seriously says:
“I understand that there are law enforcement officers, but you have a cashier sitting in your ATM, she should have seen everything, even if she’ll make a picture-book.”

Culture shock
Pulkovo-2, the end of 1996. Arrival Hall, about 180.
I meet a friend, nativе tekhn'a from Austin, TX. Before boarding the car, Steve recalls that he needs a restroom.
I give him direction, but I continue to load his luggage.
After a while, Steve returns completely shocked. He is trying to learn Russian and quite tolerably pronounces phrases like "sorry, I'm crazy Texan." But now he is very doubtful of what he read. His question and takes me by surprise
- What is the TOILET CLOSED FOR LUNCH ?!
I leave it near things and walk to the treasured door.
All right.
It all ended happily, we just wrapped in Pulkovo-1. But the cultural shock was really strong.

Standard entertainment
I come here a few days ago to a friend of mine, and his computer is turned on in the kitchen. While he was pouring vodka, his wife said:
- Well, you have fun too !!!
I look - it’s open on my computer: "Start" - "Programs" - "Standard" - "Entertainment". And in the menu "Entertainment" one item - "Volume control".