My Blog: jokes jokes stories funny
Instructions on how to behave if you get lost in the forest
First of all, check whether you get lost or you think
1. you are alone
2.you in the forest
try to bite your ear. If you succeed, you are asleep. Sleep on shouting "Ay!" Bleed air and shout "A" first and then "Y". Does not interfere with practice at home. Best at night, in the dark. If you are in a communal apartment, continue training until the neighbors start knocking on the wall - this means that you can hear you at a great distance. If you are in a room with soft walls and bars on the windows - you have overtrained. Take a rest.
climb on the spruce. If you can't see anything, then spruce is short. Find another spruce.
If you can't climb it, spit. Climb to the birch.
try to make a fire. If you have overdone it, wait out the fire in a ditch with water. If the water is boiling, you can no longer read. If the firefighters arrived, make peace with them and you can stop reading.
determine the direction of the world. Stand facing north, then the back will be south, right is east, and to the left is west.
if you meet a bear, explain to him that you did not want to eat his raspberry. If the bear does not understand, explain to him again in the language available to him. If the language available to the bear is not available to you, run.
now run faster. In order to properly escape from the bear, it is necessary that the bear is behind and shrinking. If it increases, you can not read further.
if you are hungry, eat everything. If you eat something wrong, you will find out later.
if you meet people - do not read anything written here.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MONITOR ENABLING
This instruction is intended to increase the efficiency of operations to enable video monitoring devices, in particular the monitor of the GKP warehouse server in the conditions of the 2000 hot rolling mill.
2. Preparatory training
Make sure to turn on the monitor. If such a need is really ripe, and there is no other way to solve the problem that torments you, proceed to step 3.
3. Immediate preparation
Make sure that the preliminary preparation is of high quality (see clause 2). Make sure the monitor is in close proximity to the server. If it (the monitor) is absent, then the solution of the problem described above is postponed until such (monitor) appears. Perform the identification of the detected device, taken by you at the monitor, to determine the actual coincidence of its appearance with devices that are usually considered to be monitors.
4. Turning on the monitor
Find a chair or stool and sit on it in such a way that the distance from the power button to you does not exceed the length of your right upper limb, in the style called hand. Ensure the combination of the above buttons and body parts by smoothly moving the marked limb, and the index finger should be in an extended horizontal position. Apply a slight muscular effort towards the inside of the monitor.
Monitor state evaluation
The success of turning on the monitor is indicated by a light bulb that lights up green (the lower light of the traffic light has the same color). If you think that the monitor has not turned on, check the reasons for not turning on the monitor (p. 6).
The reasons for not turning on the monitor.
1. The light does not burn.
- You have poor eyesight.
- Bulb burst.
- The monitor is not included in the 220V network.
- The monitor is connected to the network, but it does not have 220V.
- Paragraphs 2,3,4 of the instructions are executed incorrectly.
2. No image
- You have poor eyesight.
- The monitor is not included in the 220V network.
- The monitor is connected to the network, but it does not have 220V.
- Paragraphs 2,3,4 of the instructions are executed incorrectly.
- There is no server to which the monitor is usually connected.
3. You are shocked
- You have included no monitor.
4. The image does not match your view of it - you turned on the wrong monitor.
Instructions for using the door entrance
The entrance door (hereinafter referred to as the door) serves for:
- fencing of premises (residential and office) from the general corridor (passage to other premises);
- prevention of penetration into the premises of unauthorized persons;
- Preventing the movement of large air flow (drafts) in the room;
- sound insulation of premises;
- thermal insulation of the room from external navigation and other premises;
- reliable closure of premises during lunch breaks, absence of people in premises, etc.
- reliable protection of the premises during the absence of the owners of the premises;
- making sounds in contact with her heavy solid objects;
- decorative closure of passages;
- Providing the possibility of the emergence of forces and abilities of citizens in the time of opening and closing the first.
- attachments to it of various inscriptions, pointers, announcements, working hours and moments of opening and closing the door, etc .;
- issuing various sounding sounds at the time of opening and closing (under special operating conditions or at the request of the customer).
2. Requirements imposed on doors and doors.
Doors and doors should provide:
- Difficulties of penetration into the premises of unauthorized persons; for this purpose, the doors should be equipped with locks, bolts, chains and other intricate fixtures with secret inserts that have a limited number of counter secret fixtures capable of opening (closing) these fixtures.
- Impact resistance of more than 10 g.
- Good hydraulic resistance, resistance to direct sunlight and high protection from external influences. - Reliable and high-quality contact with the door and door.
- Characteristics described in paragraph 1.
Installation site door.
The doorway is installed in the passages between the rooms, the corridor and the rooms, between the rooms.
3. Instruction manual.
- The approach to the doorway is carried out in a single order with a low speed of movement (for the safety of other citizens, who, in turn, wish to break into a doorway);
If you want to sneak into the room:
- Roll the palm of your hand into a fist;
- Reproduce the gentle contact of the fist and the door in order to publish the last delicate sound of "tuk-tuk", listenable and useful for the door.
- The contact with the door handle is made by lightly pressing the latter (by rotating movement, in the case of the combination of a secret door lock mechanism, called a lock, with a device that serves to hold the door at the moment of opening (closing), called the handle);
- In order to open the door - not pulling, pull the handle (push);
- See if there are any interested persons for the exit (entrance) in the doorway;
- Accurately penetrate into the back door;
The following two points apply if the door is installed in the room.
- In case there is no need to pass into the room (corridor)
- not to lean on the door, the lock and the handle, and put your head in the window and ask someone or something (at the request of the person asking);
- Depending on the answer received and on your desire, go through the door, see above;
- moving away from the doorway, approximately half a step, pull the handle to the side of the handle;
- according to the above points, gently take hold of the handle and, in an obligatory manner, in a gentle way, pull (push) the handle in order to ensure that the door is gently and silently closed.
- DO NOT SLAM THE TWO!
- DO NOT OPEN AND DO NOT CLOSE YOUR DOOR!
- Present tenderness in relation to the door and locking devices!
- YOUR CERTAIN RELATIONSHIP WITH DOORS AND DUAL FACILITIES YOU CALL YOU IN THE SECONDARY SENSE OF SECRETS, RECOMMENDED, AND SOMETIMES AND RECENT EXPRESSIONS
- ignorance of the fundamentals and rules of opening and closing the doors and badly affects the health of people in the rooms, on your relationship with them !!!
Behavior in the brewery. Possible problems with the use of beer and how to eliminate them.
Possible problems with the use of beer and how to eliminate them.
Problem: The taste of beer is not felt. Gone pleasure. The handle is visible to the light.
Reason: The crook is empty.
Method of removal: Find someone who buys you another beer mug.
Problem: The taste of beer is not felt. Gone pleasure. Wash jacket from the collar.
Reason: Do not open the mouth or the crochet is brought in the wrong place.
Method of elimination: Regular training is needed before the mirror.
Problem: Feet wet and cold.
Reason: The incorrect position of the mug.
Method of removal: Install the crook so that the foam is directed towards the ceiling.
Problem: Feet warm and wet.
Reason: Insufficient control over the bladder.
Method of removal: Stand near the dog with a collar. After a few minutes, you will be required to pay for the master of beer in compensation.
Problem: Paul is spreading.
Reason: You look at the floor through the bottom.
Method of removal: Find someone who buys another empty beer mug.
Problem: The floor is swinging.
Reason: Unstable seat without a back.
Method of elimination: Put a broom under the jacket, dropping down to create additional support.
Problem: Paul drove.
The reason: you are carried.
Method of removal: If you are not in another brewery, yell for help.
Problem: Fluorescent lamps on the wall.
Reason: You fell on your back.
Method of removal: Ask someone to put you to the rack.
Problem: Nothing is visible, in the mouth of a broken cigarette.
Reason: You fell on your stomach.
Method of removal: See above.
Problem: Around quickly darkens.
Reason: The beer bar closes.
Method of removal: Find out where else is open.
Problem: You wake up in a cold, wet, hard bed.
Reason: You fell into a ditch.
Method of removal: Ask for time among the others. If the brewery is open, go there
How to scratch your eggs?
Your eggs must be scratched carefully, trying not to damage the shell.
Make longitudinal movements along lateral perpendiculars, parallel to the intersection of the diagonals. This will help you in a briefly short term (from three minutes to forty-eight hours) to determine exactly what place on the egg you scratch and needs to be scratched immediately.
Mark this place with a felt-tip pen, or put an end in colored crayons to fix its dislocation for further (immediate) scratching.
Immediate scratching is caused by scraping the crosses scattered across the entire area of your egg sphere. There are three types of scouring:
This is when eggs are being scratched by an academician.
when eggs are being scratched by the whole class.
when the sound of an artillery cannonade is heard. The strength of the sound depends on the strength of the shell and on the width of the mouth of the scaly (or, as it is sometimes said, scaly).
The most common dislocation of carcass flaked - kryltso. Eggs in the open air is a one hundred percent guarantee that the crumble from the eggs does not spoil your Persian carpet woven from up-to-date Persian cats.
Try to get out of the egg single-fun game - play with your partner in the kristiki-tac-toe, noting the small chesotomest place on a friend. Holders of irrelevant areas of the egg field (from two hundred square meters or more) can afford a sea battle or even a pedestrian bullet.
In the game process, treat with respect to each other, do not scrape eggs for a partner with those items that you do not dare to scratch your watch like something like: grabs, pitchfork, baron, potato peeler, circular saw, zhban. Just a jerky. Little such, zhbaniny. The word is good. Jug Point.
Do not allow children to take a great interest in egg eggs; keep eggs away from them. In a word - HANDS OFF THE CHILDREN! If you have combed a lot of one egg, the second one is set aside for tomorrow, or for the day after. If you don't have patience, then learn from the cu — they lay eggs all the time.
If you have read this far, then you can read.
If you can’t read, then you are a goat, a sickness and a piggyback! (what a freak I am - you won't read these words anyway!)
Scratching eggs is true art. Take out all your pathetic paintings of Rembrandt, Van Gogh and Stravinsky into the garbage collection! Destroy the books of Hammingway, Eisenhower and the Giant Schnauzer! Just once you have scratched your egg, you will experience a pleasure that none of these great people could deliver to you.
Culinary recipes era developed Canibalism
"Salad with crabs and women"
Recipe making ppost. Kraby, women - all over. There is impossible, but with a beer pull.
To prepare you need to find a suitable blonde with a volume of more than 160 centimeters. Dragging such a blonde in a quiet place, cut off the volume and give it a little fire. Rare kysochka gourmet meat simply melt in pty! But before that, they have a long time to pick out from the group of inedible silicone.
"Dipa stuffed with braces"
If a woman has eaten at once forty kilograms of dirty dish, then most likely she is dyra stuffed with brasserie! It is not easy to make it lie down for two hours at a temperature of 200 warders. With bokie vegetables. Pepper salt on top.
This is a vegetarian dish. Since most of the botanists are not fish - not meat, it follows from this that they are plants (most likely vegetables that are very similar to celery). Prepare figs knows what and how horrible. And in spite of this, everything is equally obtained very vyysno.
"Breakfast from Typista"
The most difficult thing in preparing this secured product is to lure the casual tyrist to the bank. First of all, they do not fit. And secondly, they do not want to climb into this bank. This problem can be partially solved. That is, holding the tyrist in banks in parts.
"Liver on Stogrammovski"
On the eve of preparation, the liver of selected alcoholics is specially trained in large doses of alcohol. When it reaches the required size and already falls out of the body itself, it is cut, grilled and served to the fake vodka as a cheap order.
To prepare it is necessary without effort to catch a fishing fish named Fish. As live fish, you can use the fish by the name Fish. When the fish is pecking at the fish and starts to catch it, take it by the gills. Then clean it of clothing and fasten it with all sorts of things. Before this, all sorts of things must be boiled, or at least found.
"Kypinyyyyy noodle with noodles"
Take a bastard faithful on a pontoon and start hanging it on yshi noodles. Assure that he is not a man at all, but a real kypitsa. A good profile, it goes without saying, will not believe this and will begin to oppose. But you continue to hang him noodles on your ears until he realizes he is cryptic. After that, shove it with all the losses into a large pot with water and boil, without removing the noodles with yshi for two hours on a slow fire.
"Stomach in own juice"
Pull out the glands. (preferably not yourself, but another person) and bake along with all the contents right in the gastric juice. It gets very good. Just you will lick your fingers (also preferably not your own, but another person).
"Tongue with hell"
Ask y any familiar acquaintance of hell: "And why the hell do you tongue?" If he is not fooled by this, then hell with him. And if ohrenet, be sure to open the mouth. In this case, do not give a fuck yourself, but grab him by the tongue and vypvyvay to hell. Krapente cooked tongue on kyski and serve along with the hell. In the case where there is no shit, then you can serve without shit. But to get more fucking. And if in the process of preparing some kind of hell bybude to come back, then send him to hell.
Anunnakh - god pofigizma. Anunnah never created anything, he simply exists and breaks off all the other gods in the event of a catastrophic desire to do something. Anunnah - not evil and not good, he simply breaks off all sorts of undertakings, both good and bad. It is rumored that he once foolishly marry the goddess Pakukimke, but somehow forgot to get a divorce. Whether they live together is unknown. Fans of the cult usually commemorate the Anunnach if they really do not feel like doing anything. Some believe that it is the Anunnach himself who speaks with their mouths, reminding him that he is always near.
Pshelnakh and Przhlivsenah - divine cronies and sisters, according to the prophecy - the children of Anunnach and Pakukimka. Pshelnach is an evil god, but strong, he himself understands how evil he is, but he always strives to be better. He gave fans of the cult the ability to defend themselves against the claims of those around them. The goddess Przlivsenah - the goddess of the anti-stagnant instinct, and in combination the goddess of sweet sleep. She protects worshipers from animal striving to go after everyone, and protects their sleep, speaking the name of worshipers with the mouth of worshipers if they try to wake them up.
Packuka - God forbid being taken. Fans of the cult claim that Pakukimka taught people to smoke tobacco, and since then they are constantly trying not to let this type of art disappear. At the same time, Packuka is a fan of fresh ideas, which inspires worshipers during tobacco consumption. In order to celebrate her, cult fans independently verb her name and consume tobacco in the form of cigarettes in her honor.
Otkukimru - one of the great goddesses of the pantheon. Faithful ally of Anunach in the fight against Glavdemona Zarabotus. It sends a strong and irrepressible desire to do something other than work, which is the burning of life. Very cute and loses love with most of the higher beings. Otskukimu's only drawback is the passivity and unwillingness to get off the greenish cloud, which replaces her chic three-piece sofa.
Yptyt - hand animal of Anunnach. He interrupted half the dishes in the Anunnakhov House, for which he was exiled to Earth. Fans of the cult do not see Zyptya at all, but it is he who is to blame for all their minor misfortunes, and therefore worshipers always cite Yopytya to order, the verb his name, when something is broken, will either do or not.
Goryvsёono is a petty god responsible for the propaganda of the cult of Anunnach, the eternal rival Zarabotus. He plays on small human emotions, is friendly with Oskukimru. The main field of activity are small individuals prone to laziness and sloppiness.
Seksuho - one of the main deities of the pantheon, causes an irresistible desire for copulation. Responsible for population size and interspecies crossings. Loves to misbehave and send blacks - Ebmat, Zoofula and Prvvdomdomy.
It is uniform in two faces - Babuba and Muzhikamne ..
Babubs mainly causes carnal desires in men, but there are also lining. Externally, Babuba looks like a thin-thick haired blonde, devoid of superfluous and superfluous.
Muzhikamne - twined with ivy and sprinkled with paprika, is extremely sexy face SexiHo. Represents Alexis and bears rumors about his insatiability. Pulls a blanket on his bed and often runs on someone else's law, thereby causing people to feel dissatisfaction and envy. Foolish, but tireless ..
As a result of the forgetfulness and inconstancy of SexiHo, in recent times, cases of accession to the cult of sexual minorities have become more frequent. There are erets who claim that Seksuho is closely associated with the OWN demons, but this is unproven ..
Pivdryams - extremely positive god, giving clarity of mind and speech to anyone who brought him a symbolic libation in a couple of beers. Not devoid of sense of humor, loves to joke and show off. Responsible for beer labels and advertisements on channel 1 ..
Hedgehog - a mysterious god, the protagonist of all gods and demons. According to the tradition, the Hedgehog is the creator of the Universe and the patron of all childhood. Often, children try to draw up to the Hedgehog, who is louder, skillfully disguising prayer as a hedgehog. At the same time, the Hedgehog is considered to be the main hero of all good tales of worshipers, where he always accepts gods and demons, giving people the opportunity to stay in peace and harmony ..
Sleep, he's the Demiurge. He does not like to appear explicitly, but his influence is visible to the unknowing. He is the ideological collaborator and inspirer of Anunach. Seafallen type. Favorite weapons - in a good mood - a heavy hammer that blows a person into hibernation for a long time. Peace-loving, but sly. Were disrupting the cult from the inside, but it is not worth refusing its contribution to the development of a common cause.
Earn - Glavdemon. He completely got into trouble with Anunnakh in immemorial times, and since then he has been intriguing to all worshipers. He commands all the small demons, as well as the OWN demons with which man so far cannot fight at all. Zarabotu tried to subjugate Seksuho, but she decided to keep neutrality. All the demons would obey Glavdemon, that is, Earn. Earnings encourages a person to a counter-natural izvraschennoy activities - work. What is most noteworthy, Glavdemon himself never does anything, only commands the OHA-demons. Not always successful. DON'T demons serve Glavdemon, arousing the real needs of man, and make people work ..
Khavchikaby is an insatiable demon, unlike the gods, which impels a person to action. Servant Glavdemona, that is, Earn. Makes people hungry. Khavchikaby looks like a big and greasy gamburer ..
Khryapnut - an insatiable demon, forcing people to want to drink inappropriately. Beer, vodka and other alcoholic beverages, including all sorts of vodka-lemon and triple cologne. The servant Glavdemona Zarabotu, but in fact often does not obey him.
Coffee-cube - Cute By-demon. Imprinted with a love of brown colored water and teeth covered with honey shavings. Kofikubyu secretly in love with Pokopimku, gave him a trip from her - Karyesku, Gastrika and BoyPechen. Kids stand firmly on the parent line of parents and play pranks at full strength.
The scribe is a demon of destruction and a rotten end. The scribe always comes suddenly, and is skillfully camouflaged, despite her more than impressive dimensions. The scribe is the most powerful servant of Earnings, sometimes it is impossible for the forces of the Scribe to oppose anything adequate from the arsenal of Anunnach, Przlivsenah, Pszhelnakh and other deities ..
Etidit TvoyuNalevo - incorporeal greenish spirit, smelling of stale socks. Comes suddenly and turns around the life, blood, mood, fresh beer and the like, the other, the other. Etydit ThyNulyo is not related to other demonic and divine beings, but, thanks to the wiles, Wages is an evil demon ..
Huyku - an outcast, sincerely staying at the pantheon and striking Kuyne. Enjoys the undeserved glory of Anunnach's faithful minder, but in reality he scores * y. He favors rogues and boatswains. It is considered to be the head of one of the dialects of the spoken language ..
The battle of the liver - particularly distinguished from the background of other disputes Kofikubyu. FightThe liver is the secret inspirer of the enormous comrades of various healers and other cunning. Shakes on the mustache and the open conflict is rare. Favorite activity is to press the mouth on the Prometey from the neighboring pantheon. It is an accomplice Salary ..
Smaller demons ..
Covert is a petty demon, arming and bolstering the bright authorities for non-planar actions. 30 bows on a small, non-woolen carpet in the surroundings of ritual objects require from their admirers: table (1pc), armchair (1pc), bosses (1-3pc) ..
Tuklientgou is a petty and extremely evil demon. He always plays in the hands of Earnings, is guilty of spreading the rumor about the need to visit the Client - the mythical city, heaven and hell in one non-permanent person ..
Mychalovo is not a wicked but tricky creature, born of the connection between Muzhikamne and Nakonnach. At an early age, he escaped from his paternal home, and since then has been engaged in his own business, depriving him of speech and filling the environment with incomprehensible sounds. Recently fell into childhood and plunged into telephony ..
Apart from mythical creatures and deities, there are mythical places inhabited by evil and good deities and demons. True worshipers know three such places:
Office - a place damned by Anunnach, earning money to him. In the Office of Wages, he dismisses his black deed with the help of the help of the demons and other evil spirits, prompting the person to engage in unnecessary and senseless activities.
The client is a mythical city whose opinions differ. Some believe that the Client has long been a shelter for Earnings and carries evil in itself, while others find that the city is holy and full of bliss. From a long time, it is considered to be the place of residence of Kofikubyu and Oskskimiru, although the authors are of the same opinion and are ready to rip the beard. According to the traditions of the cult, true admirers of Anunnakh give prayers (Anunashes) to the Client, and preach a cult in the Client. There is an opinion that the Client is a moment of truth, where every fan of the cult has the opportunity to grasp his true nature and bow down either to Annunach or to Earn.
The house is a place sanctified by Anunnach, in which the machinations of Earnings lose their destructive power. It is in the House that Sexy Ho comes to the blessed moments and it is here that the demons would settle down and lose their power over the person. Truly the first place of the house is Kholodylnik and Komputus - places of goodness and positive emotions.
The story of how the grandmother went to the forest for mushrooms ...
Once I was walking in the woods, looking at the garden, I think I will let you go! I walk up to this park, look, the gate! I walk up to the well, enter the elevator, sit on the bike, start the engine, then “Whack” the conductor comes up to me and says, “Aunt, give up!” And I say that I do not smoke, so this child will start crying ... But I was not taken aback, and how I gave him in the face, he grabs his knee and shouts “My back! My back! “But I think, maybe he owed his money? I get out of this train! I watch the bus is worth it! Well, I come up and say “L & M blue and vodka 0.5“ well, she gives me Bond and beer, I take this and take the moonshine, and run away from these trash! So these firefighters caught up with the ambulance! We caught up and said, “You forgot your change!” Well, I take a kilo of apples, and go to the market to trade! I bring pears, so I did not have time to lay out these bananas, immediately my grandmother runs up, and buys all the peaches from me, and says to put everything into a little bag! And I think that she is completely f * anutaya, how can I put 20 watermelons in my bag in her bag! I took the money and went home! I did not go to the forest anymore.
And what for grandma drape smoked?
The bear was ugly, clumsy and dirty animal. But no one was kinder than him in all the forest. However, the animals noticed only his appearance, for which the Bear was terribly offended, grabbed them and kicked them cruelly. Therefore, the animals did not like him. Although he was very kind. And fun. He loved wacky jokes. The animals terribly hated him and beat him for these jokes. It is hard to be kind and cheerful in the world. The wolf was ugly and dirty too. And he was very angry and cruel. But the animals did not feel hatred for him and did not beat him. Because the Wolf died in early childhood. Because the Bear was born earlier for the Wolf. It is good if Good conquers Evil.
The hare was also evil and cruel. And dirty. He was also a coward. Zaets never did anyone a dirty trick. Because I was afraid. But he was still hurt. Because Evil must always be punished.
And the Woodpecker was also evil and cruel. He did not beat the beasts, since he had no hands. Therefore, he poured out his anger on the trees. The animals also did not beat him. Because they could not get it. Once a tree fell and crushed him to death. They say that it is revenge. After that, the animals were afraid for a month to pee on the trees. And they urinated on Hare. The hare caught cold and died. Everything became clear that the guilty woodpecker. But he was not touched. Since they could not pick out from under the tree. Evil sometimes remains unpunished. The mole was small and blind. He was not angry. He just did his job well. It was he who made the tree that fell on the woodpecker. No one found out about this, so he was not beaten. He was rarely beaten. More often frightened. But it was hard to scare him, because he was blind and did not see that he was intimidated. If it was not possible to scare Mole, the animals were very upset. And they beat the Bear. Since they were very annoyed. One day, the Bear also wanted to scare Mole. But the Mole was not afraid. Because the Bear killed him. By no means. Just Bear was very clumsy. And the beasts very painfully beat the Bear. Even though Bear said it was a joke. It is bad if nobody understands your jokes.
Fox was very tricky. She could easily fool anyone. If she did it, then she was not beaten. But sometimes she was not lucky. And they beat her. Beat all forest. And then she could not deceive anyone. Because it is very difficult to deceive someone if they beat you. One day she was beaten to death. Indeed, the secret becomes clear.
The boar was big, strong and scary. He was very much afraid. And therefore, he was beaten especially hard and always with the whole forest. Sometimes they just throw stones at him. Boar did not like this very much. And one night he hid all the stones in the forest. For this he was extremely beaten. Boar never hid stones again. Truth be told - time to collect stones and time not to touch it at all.
The goat was neither evil nor good. He was just a goat. He is often the goat. And they were afraid to beat him. And he got all his goat. And then he was beaten to death. Since otherwise he would die he was old. Someday. When Kozel died, Bear cried a lot. Because he secretly loved the Goat. Love is blind.
The hedgehog was small and prickly. He injected. He was not angry, he just pricked by nature. Therefore, he was beaten only in the stomach. Hedgehog did not like this, so he began to shave. And then they began to beat him like everyone else. It is very difficult if you are not like everyone else.
The skunk was almost the same as the hare. Only very smelly. He smelled bad. He was beaten only in a plastic bag. Then the smell was not so strong. Once Skunk had a birthday. He invited all the animals, because he was very greedy and loved gifts. And the animals gave him a new plastic bag. And they beat him badly before losing consciousness. And Skunk choked in the package. So he was buried. In the package. In a very distant forest. Since the dead Skunk stank even more than alive. Then came the inhabitants of the Very Distant Forest and all were badly beaten. They did not like the smell of a dead Skunk. With neighbors need to live in harmony.
The hamster was also very greedy. And rich. If he shared his wealth, he would not have been hurt so much. But he still had to share. And he wept bitterly. The rich also cry.
Leo was the king of beasts. He ruled the forest. Kings are not allowed to beat. This is the law. But all the animals have long been scored on this law. They beat and Leo. Never. Just so it has already happened here.
APPOINTMENT AND OPERATING CONDITIONS AND TECHNICAL DATA OF TOILET PAPER
Toilet paper, hereinafter referred to as the product, is intended to remove the remnants of the process of bowel movement from the outer edge of the back passage opening, adjacent skin areas and locally concentrated hairline on this body area (hereinafter referred to as the place of use).
1. Carefully read this manual. The instructions must be secured with MB screws in an easily accessible and well-lit place in the line of sight of the user.
2. Place the product roll on the user's chest level in a slightly horizontal position.
3. To produce an act of defecation.
4. Ensure the successful completion of the act and the absence of the desire to continue it (this item is important for saving and rational use of the product).
5. By direct forward movement of the right hand down, grab the tip (products), and then by sharp movement up and to the right at an angle of 60 degrees to the horizon line pull (product), thus winding 700 mm.
6. It is variously guided by the movement of hands in a horizontal plane to produce a tape break approximately in the middle between the two nearest perforation areas. Persons possessing the absence of one of the upper extremities produce manipulations with the product with the help of a sharp cutting or chopping tool (scissors, table knife, razor, hatchet for cutting meat).
Observe the precautions set forth in the relevant instructions attached to these products.
Note: It is not recommended to tear the product along the perforation areas due to the risk of violation and deformation of the surface layer of the fibrous structure of the product material.
7. Fold a section of the product in the form of an accordion (bayan), successively bending it along the perforation areas, obtaining the product N2.
8. Transfer to the hand that is most convenient for the user.
9. Attach the product N2 obtained in the course of previous manipulations to the place of use and tightly pressing the skin to the skin to make wiping movements in the inter-gluteal space.
10. Having placed the used product in the field of view, in conditions of good illumination, inspect the smear on it for the detection of worms eggs or signs of pediculosis. If they are found, dial 03 and notify the relevant medical institutions at the place of residence. Otherwise, repeat steps 4-9 three or four times.
11. Чистой сухой рукой проверить качество очистки (меж ягодичное пространство на ощупь должно быть сухо, слегка шероховато, края заднепроходного отверстия хорошо протерты, волосяной покров пушист и легко доступен для почесывания). В случае наличия признаков некачественной подтирки ( грязь под ногтями, резкий специфический запах при обонятельном контроле и др.) произвести манипуляции описанные в п. 4 - 9 еще три-четыре раза.
1. Не курить вблизи изделия.
2. Не оставлять использованное изделие в местах культуры, отдыха и приема пищи.
3. Беречь от детей. Туалетная бумага - не игрушка, а средство гигиены !
4. Не рекомендуется многократное использование изделия.