My Blog: jokes jokes stories funny
Instructions on how to behave if you get lost in the forest
First of all, check whether you get lost or you think
1. you are alone
2.you in the forest
try to bite your ear. If you succeed, you are asleep. Sleep on shouting "Ay!" Type in the air and shout first “A” and then “Y”. Does not interfere with practice at home. Best at night, in the dark. If you are in a communal apartment, continue training until the neighbors start knocking on the wall - this means that you can hear you at a great distance. If you are in a room with soft walls and bars on the windows, you have overtrained. Take a rest.
climb on the spruce. If nothing is visible, then spruce is short. Find another spruce.
If you can't climb it, spit. Climb to the birch.
try to make a fire. If you overdo it, wait out the fire in a ditch with water. If the water is boiling, you can no longer read. If firefighters arrived, make peace with them and you can stop reading.
determine the direction of the world. Stand facing north, then back will be south, right is east, and to the left is west.
if you met a bear, explain to him that you did not want to eat his raspberries. If the bear does not understand, explain to him again in the language available to him. If the language available to the bear is not available to you, run.
now run faster. In order to properly escape from the bear, it is necessary that the bear is in the back and smaller. If it increases, you can not read further.
if you are hungry, eat everything. If you eat something wrong, you will find out later.
if you meet people, do not read anything written here.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MONITOR ON
This instruction is intended to increase the efficiency of operations to enable video monitoring devices, in particular, the monitor of the GKP warehouse server under the conditions of the 2000 hot rolling mill.
2. Preparatory training
Make sure to turn on the monitor. If such a need is really ripe, and there is no other way to solve the problem that torments you, proceed to step 3.
3. Immediate preparation
Make sure that the preliminary preparation is of high quality (see clause 2). Make sure that the monitor is in close proximity to the server. If it (the monitor) is absent, then the solution to the problem described above is postponed until such (monitor) appears. Perform the identification of the detected device, taken by you at the monitor, on the subject of the actual coincidence of its appearance with the devices, which are usually considered to be monitors.
4. Turning on the monitor
Locate a chair or taboo and sit on it in such a way that the distance from the power button to you does not exceed the length of your right upper limb, in a style called hand. Ensure the combination of the above buttons and body parts by smoothly moving the marked limb, and the index finger should be in an extended horizontal position. Apply a small muscular effort towards the depth of the monitor.
Monitor state evaluation
The success of turning on the monitor is indicated by the light bulb, which is green (the lower light of the traffic light has the same color). If you think that the monitor has not turned on, check the reasons for not turning on the monitor (Section 6).
The reasons for not turning on the monitor.
1. The light is off.
- You have poor eyesight.
- Bulb burst.
- The monitor is not included in the 220V network.
- The monitor is connected to the network, but there is no 220V in it.
- Paragraphs 2,3,4 of the instructions are executed incorrectly.
2. No image
- You have poor eyesight.
- The monitor is not included in the 220V network.
- The monitor is connected to the network, but there is no 220V in it.
- Paragraphs 2,3,4 of the instructions are executed incorrectly.
- There is no server to which the monitor is usually connected.
3. You are shocked
- You have included no monitor.
4. The image does not match your view of it - you turned on the wrong monitor.
Instructions for using the door entrance
The entrance door (hereinafter referred to as the door) serves for:
- fencing of premises (residential and office) from the general corridor (passage to other premises);
- prevention of penetration into the premises of unauthorized persons;
- Preventing the movement of a large air flow (draft) in the room;
- sound insulation of premises;
- thermal insulation of the room from external navigation and other premises;
- reliable closure of premises during lunch breaks, absence of people in premises, etc.
- reliable protection of the premises during the absence of the owners of the premises;
- making sounds in contact with her heavy solid objects;
- decorative closure of passages;
- Providing the possibility of the emergence of forces and abilities of citizens in the time of opening and closing the first.
- Attachments to it of various inscriptions, pointers, announcements, working hours and moments of opening and closing the door, etc .;
- issuing various sounding sounds at the time of opening and closing (under special operating conditions or at the request of the customer).
2. Requirements imposed on doors and doors.
Doors and doors should provide:
- The difficulties of penetration into the premises of unauthorized persons; for this purpose, the doors should be equipped with locks, bolts, chains and other third-party devices with secret inserts that have a limited number of response secret devices that can open (close) these devices.
- Impact resistance of more than 10 g.
- Good water resistance, resistance to direct sunlight and high protection from external influences. - Reliable and high-quality contact between the door and the door.
- Characteristics described in paragraph 1.
Installation location of the door.
The doorway is installed in the passages between the rooms, the corridor and the rooms, between the rooms.
3. Instruction manual.
- The approach to the doorway is carried out in solitary order with low speed of movement (for the safety of other citizens, who, in turn, wish to break into a doorway);
If you want to sneak into the room:
- Roll the palm of your hand into a fist;
- Reproduce the delicate touch of the fist and the door in order to publish the last delicate sound of "tuk-tuk", listenable and useful for the door.
- The contact with the door handle is made by lightly pressing the latter (by rotating movement, in the case of the combination of a secret door lock mechanism, called a lock, with a device that serves to hold the door at the moment of opening (closing), called the handle);
- In order to open the door - not pulling, pull the handle (push);
- See if there are any interested persons to exit (enter) in a double door;
- Accurately penetrate into the back door;
The following two points apply if the door is installed in the room.
- In case there is no need to pass into the room (corridor)
- not to lean on the door, the lock and the handle, and stick your head in the beam and ask someone or something (at the request of the spouse);
- Depending on the answer received and on your desire, go through the door, see above;
- moving away from the doorway, approximately half a step, pull the hand in the direction of the handle;
- according to the above points, gently take hold of the handle and, in an obligatory manner, in a gentle way, pull (push) the handle in order to ensure that the door is closed and silently closed.
- DO NOT SLAM THE TWO!
- DO NOT OPEN AND DO NOT CLOSE YOUR DOOR!
- Present tenderness in relation to the door and locking devices!
- YOUR CERTAIN RELATIONSHIP WITH DOORS AND DUAL CAPACITIES YOU CALL YOU IN THE SECONDARY SENSE OF OPERA, AND SOMETIMES AND SUMMARIES IN YOUR ADS.
- ignorance of the fundamentals and rules of opening and closing the doors and has a bad effect on the health of people in the rooms, on your relationship with them !!!
Behavior in the brewery. Possible problems with the use of beer and methods of their removal.
Possible problems with the use of beer and methods of their removal.
Problem: The taste of beer is not felt. Gone pleasure. The handle is visible to the light.
Reason: The bed is empty.
Method of removal: Find someone who buys you another beer mug.
Problem: The taste of beer is not felt. Gone pleasure. Wash jacket from the collar.
Reason: Do not open the mouth or the crochet is brought in the wrong place.
Method of elimination: Regular training is needed before the mirror.
Problem: Feet wet and cold.
Reason: The wrong position of the fins.
Method of removal: Install the crook so that the foam is directed towards the ceiling.
Problem: Feet warm and wet.
Reason: Insufficient control over the bladder.
Method of removal: Stand near the dog with a collar. After a few minutes, you will be required to pay for the master of beer in compensation.
Problem: Paul is spreading.
The reason: You look at the floor through the bottom.
Method of removal: Find someone who will buy another empty beer mug.
Problem: The floor is swinging.
Reason: Unstable seat without back.
Method of removal: Put a broom under the jacket, dropping down to create additional support.
Problem: Paul drove.
The reason: you are carried.
Method of elimination: If you are not in another brewery, yell for help.
Problem: Fluorescent lamps on the wall.
Reason: You fell on your back.
Method of removal: Ask someone to put you to the rack.
Problem: Nothing is visible, in the mouth of a broken cigarette.
Reason: You fell on your stomach.
Method of removal: See above.
Problem: Around quickly darkens.
Reason: Beer closes.
Method of removal: Find out where else is open.
Problem: You wake up in a cold, wet, hard bed.
Reason: You fell into a ditch.
Method of removal: Ask for time among the others. If the brewery is open, go there
How to scratch your eggs?
His eggs must be scratched carefully, trying not to damage the shell.
Make longitudinal movements along lateral perpendiculars, parallel to the intersection of the diagonals. This will help you in a briefly short term (from three minutes to forty-eight hours) to determine exactly what place on the egg you scratch and needs to be scratched immediately.
Mark this place with a felt-tip pen, or put an end in colored crayons to fix its dislocation for further (immediate) scratching.
Scratching immediately consists of scraping the crosses scattered across the entire area of your egg sphere. There are three types of scouring:
This is when eggs are being scratched by an academician.
when eggs are being scratched by the whole class.
when the sound of an artillery cannonade is heard. The strength of the sound depends on the strength of the shell and on the width of the mouth of the scaly (or as it is sometimes said to be scaly).
The most common dislocation of the carcass flaked - kryltso. Eggs in the open air is a 100% guarantee that the crumble from the eggs will not spoil your Persian carpet woven from expensive Persian cats.
Try to get out of the egg one-on-one entertainment - play with your partner in the crosses-tac-toe, noting the small chesotomest place on a friend. Holders of irrelevant areas of the egg field (from two hundred square meters or more) can afford a sea battle or even a pedestrian bullet.
In the game process, treat with respect to each other, do not scrape eggs for a partner with those items that you do not dare to scratch your watch like something like: grabs, pitchfork, baron, potato peeler, circular saw, zhban. Just a jerky. Little such, zhbaniny. The word is good. Jug Point.
Do not allow children to take a great interest in egg eggs; keep eggs away from them. In a word - HANDS OFF OF CHILDREN! If you have combed a lot of one egg, the second one is set aside for tomorrow, or for the day after. If you don't have patience, then learn from the cu — they lay eggs all the time.
If you have read this far, then you can read.
If you can’t read, then you are a goat, a bastard and a pig! (what a freak I am - you won't read these words anyway!)
Scratching eggs is true art. Take all your pathetic paintings of Rembrandt, Van Gogh and Stravinsky into the garbage disposal! Destroy the books of Hammingway, Eisenhower and the Giant Schnauzer! Just once you have scratched your egg, you will experience a pleasure that none of these great people could deliver to you.
Culinary recipes era developed Canibalism
"Salad with kababs and women"
Recipe making ppost. Kraby, women - all over the line. There is impossible, but with a beer pull.
To prepare you need to find a suitable blonde with a volume of over 160 centimeters. Dragging such a blonde into a tight place, cut off a given volume and lightly burn. Rare kysochka gourmet meat just melt in pty! But before that, they have to pick out a long time from the group of inedible silicone.
"Dipa stuffed with braces"
If a woman has eaten at once forty kilograms of dirty dish, then most likely she is dyra stuffed with brasserie! It is not necessary to lie in the oven for two hours at a temperature of 200 degrees. With bokie vegetables. Pepper salt on top.
This is a vegetarian dish. Since most of the botanists are not fish - not meat, it follows from this that they are plants (most likely vegetables that are very similar to celery). Prepare figs knows what and how horrible. In spite of this, everything is equally very vivid.
"Breakfast from Typista"
The hardest thing in preparing this secured product is to lure the casual tyurist into a bank. First of all, they do not fit. And secondly, they do not want to climb into this bank. This problem can be partially solved. That is, typerist holdings in banks in parts.
"Liver according to Stogrammovski"
On the eve of preparation, the liver of selected alcoholics is specially cultivated with large doses of alcohol. When it reaches the required size and already falls out of the body itself, it is cut out, browned and served to the vodka as a cheap price.
In order to prepare, you need to catch a fishing box called Fish, without difficulty. As live fish, you can use the fish by the name Fish. When the fish is pecking at the fish and starts to catch it, take it to the gills. Then clean it of clothing and fasten it with all sorts of things. Before this, all sorts of things must be boiled, or at least found.
"Kypiny noodle soup"
Take a bastard faithful on a pontoon and start hanging it on yshi noodles. Assure that he is not a man at all, but a real kypitsa. A good profile, it goes without saying, will not believe this and will begin to object. But you continue to hang him noodles on your ears until he realizes he is cryptic. After that, shove it with all the costs into a large pot with water and boil, without removing the noodles with yasha for two hours on low fire.
"Yellow in own juice"
You cut out the galls. (preferably not yourself, but another person) and bake along with all the contents right in the gastric juice. It gets very good. Just you will lick your fingers (also preferably not your own, but another person).
"Language with hell"
Ask y any familiar acquaintance: "And what the fuck is your tongue?" If he is not fooled by this, then hell with him. And if ohrenet, then necessarily open mouth. In this case, do not give a fuck yourself, but grab him by the tongue and dig out to hell. Krapente cooked tongue on the kyski and serve along with the hell. In the case of when there is no damn, then it can be served without damn. But to get more fucking. And if in the process of preparing some kind of hell bybude to come back, then send it to hell.
Anunnakh - god pofigizma. Anunnah never created anything, he simply exists and breaks off all the other gods in the event of a catastrophic desire to do something. Anunnah - not evil and not good, he simply breaks off all sorts of undertakings, both good and bad. It is rumored that he once foolishly marry the goddess Pakukimke, but somehow forgot to get a divorce. Whether they live together is unknown. Fans of worship usually commemorate Anunnach if they really do not feel like doing anything. Some believe that it is Anunnach himself who speaks with their mouths, reminding him that he is always in the vicinity.
Przhelnach and Przlivsenah - divine kins and sisters, according to the tradition - the children of Anunnach and Pakukimka. Przhelnah is an evil god, but strong, he himself understands how evil he is, but he always strives to be better. He gave worshipers the ability to defend themselves against the claims of those around them. The goddess Przlivsenah - the goddess of the anti-stagnant instinct, and in combination the goddess of sweet sleep. She guards worshipers from animal strivings to go after everyone, and protects their sleep, speaking the name of worshipers with the mouth of worshipers if they try to wake them up.
Packuka - God forbid being taken. Fans of the cult claim that Pakukimka taught people to smoke tobacco, and since then they are constantly trying not to let this type of art disappear. At the same time, Packuka is a fan of fresh ideas, which inspires worshipers during the consumption of tobacco. In order to celebrate her, cult worshipers independently verb her name and consume tobacco in the form of cigarettes in her honor.
Otkukimru - one of the great goddesses of the pantheon. Faithful ally of Anunach in the fight against Glavdemona Zarabotus. It sends a strong and irrepressible desire to do something other than work, which is the burning of life. It is very cute and twists love with most of the higher beings. Otskukimu's only drawback is the passivity and unwillingness to get off the greenish cloud, replacing it with a chic three-piece sofa.
Yptyt - hand animal of Anunnach. He interrupted half the dishes in the Anunnakhov House, for which he was exiled to Earth. Fans of the cult do not see Zyptya at all, but it is he who is to blame for all their minor misfortunes, and therefore worshipers always cite Yopytya to order, the verb his name, when something is broken, will be added or not.
Goryvsёono is a petty god responsible for the propaganda of the cult of Anunnach, the eternal rival Zarabotus. He plays on small human emotions, is friendly with Oskukimru. The main field of activity are small individuals prone to laziness and sloppiness.
Seksuho - one of the main deities of the pantheon, causes an irresistible desire for copulation. Responsible for population size and interspecies crossings. Loves to misbehave and send blacks - Ebmat, Zoofula and Prvvdomdomy.
It is uniform in two faces - Babuba and Muzhikamne ..
Babubs mainly causes carnal desires in men, but there are lining. Externally, Babuba looks like a thin-thick haired blonde, devoid of superfluous and superfluous.
Muzhikamne - twined with ivy and sprinkled with paprika, is extremely seductive face SexiHo. Represents Alexis and breeds rumors about his insatiability. Pulls a blanket on your crook and often runs on someone else's law, thereby causing people to feel dissatisfaction and envy. Foolish, but tireless ..
As a result of the forgetfulness and inconstancy of SexiHo, in recent times, cases of accession to the cult of sexual minorities have become more frequent. There are erets who claim that Seksuho is closely associated with the OJD demons, but this is unproven ..
Pivdryams - extremely positive god, giving clarity of mind and speech of anyone who brought him a symbolic libation in a couple of beers. Not devoid of sense of humor, loves to joke and show off. Responsible for beer labels and advertisements on channel 1 ..
Hedgehog - a mysterious god, the protagonist of all gods and demons. According to the tradition, the Hedgehog is the creator of the Universe and the patron of all childhood. Often, children try to draw down to the Hedgehog, who is louder, skillfully disguising prayer as a hedgehog. At the same time, the Hedgehog is considered to be the main hero of all good tales of worshipers, where he always accepts gods and demons, giving people the opportunity to stay in peace and harmony ..
Sleep, he's the Demiurge. He does not like to appear explicitly, but his influence can be seen with an unprepared look. He is the ideological collaborator and inspirer of Anunach. Seafallen type. Favorite weapons - in a good mood - a heavy hammer that blows a person into hibernation for a long time. Peace-loving, but sly. Disruptively decomposes a cult from within, but it is not worth refusing its contribution to the development of a common cause.
Earn - Glavdemon. He completely got into trouble with Anunnakh in immemorial times, since then he has been intriguing to all worshipers. He commands all the small-demons, and also the O.-demons, with which man so far can not fight at all and in any way. Zarabotu tried to subjugate Seksuho, but she decided to keep neutrality. All the demons would be subject to Glavdemon, that is, Earn. Earnings prompts a person to a motivated perverted activity - work. What is most noteworthy, Glavdemon himself never does anything, only commanded by the OC-demons. Not always successful. DON'T demons serve Glavdemon, arousing the natural needs of man, and make people work ..
Khavchikaby is an insatiable demon, unlike the gods, which impels a person to action. Servant Glavdemona, that is, Earn. Makes people hungry. Khavchikaby looks like a big and greasy gamburer ..
Khryapnutby is an insatiable demon who makes people want to drink inappropriately. Beer, vodka and other alcoholic beverages, including all sorts of vodka-lemon and triple cologne. The servant Glavdemona Earn, but in fact often does not obey him.
Kofikububy - Cute By-demon. Imprinted with a love of brown-colored water and teeth covered with honey shavings. Kofikubyu secretly in love with Pokopimku, gave birth to him from the trip - Karyesku, Gastrika and BoyPechen. Kids stand firmly on the parent line of parents and play pranks at full strength.
The scribe is a demon of destruction and a rotten end. The scribe always comes suddenly, and skillfully camouflaged, despite his more than impressive dimensions. The scribe is the most powerful servant of Earnings, sometimes it is impossible for the forces of the Pisets to oppose anything adequate from the arsenal of Anunnach, Przlivsenah, Pszhelnakh and other deities ..
Etidit TvoyuNalevo - incorporeal greenish spirit, smelling of stale socks. Comes suddenly and turns around the life, blood, mood, fresh beer and the other, the other, the other. Etydit ThyNulyo is not related to other demonic and divine beings, but, thanks to the wiles, Wages is an evil demon ..
Huyku - an outcast, sincerely stayed at the pantheon and striking Kuyni. Enjoys the undeserved fame of the faithful minion of Anunnach, but in fact he scores * y. He favors rogues and boatswains. It is considered to be the head of one of the dialects of the spoken language ..
The battle of the liver - particularly distinguished from the background of other disputes Kofikubyu. FightThe liver is the secret inspirer of the enormous comrades of various healers and other cunning. Shakes on the mustache and the open conflict is rare. A favorite activity is to press the prow on the Prometh from the neighboring pantheon. It is an accomplice Salary ..
Smaller demons ..
Covert is a petty demon, arming and bolstering the bright authorities for non-planar actions. Require from their fans 30 bows on a small non-woolen carpet in the surroundings of ritual objects: a table (1pc), an armchair (1pc), bosses (1-3pc) ..
Tuklientgou is a petty and extremely evil demon. He always plays in the hands of Earnings, is guilty of spreading the rumor about the need to visit the Client - the mythical city, heaven and hell in one non-permanent person ..
Mychalovo is not a wicked but tricky creature, born of the connection between Muzhikamne and Nakonnach. At an early age, he escaped from his paternal home, and since then he has been doing his own business, depriving speech and filling the environment with incomprehensible sounds. Recently fell into childhood and plunged into telephony ..
In addition to mythical creatures and deities, there are mythical places inhabited by evil and good deities and demons. True worshipers know three such places:
An office is a place damned by Anunnach, earning money to him. In the Office of Wages, he dismisses his black deed with the help of the help of demons and other evil spirits, prompting a person to engage in unnecessary and senseless activities.
The client is a mythical city whose opinions differ. Some believe that the Client has long been a shelter for Earnings and carries evil in itself, while others find that the city is holy and full of bliss. From a long time it is considered to be the place of residence of Kofikubyu and Oskskimiru, although the authors are of different opinion and are ready to rip the beard. According to the traditions of the cult, true worshipers of Anunnach give prayers (Anunashes) to the Client, and preach a cult in the Client. There is an opinion that the Client is the moment of truth, where every fan of the cult has the opportunity to grasp his true nature and bow down either to Annunach or to Earn.
The house is a place consecrated by Anunnakh, in which the machinations of Earnings lose their pernicious power. It is in the House that Sexy Ho comes to good moments and it is here that the demons would settle down and lose their power over the person. Truly, the first place of the house is Kholodylnik and Komputus - places of goodness and positive emotions.
The story of how the grandmother went to the forest for mushrooms ...
Once I was walking in the woods, looking at the garden, I think I will let you go! I walk up to this park, I look, the gate! I walk up to the well, enter the elevator, sit on the bike, start the engine, then “Whack” the conductor comes up to me and says, “Aunt, give up!” And I say that I do not smoke, so this child will start crying ... But I was not taken aback, and how I gave him in the face, he grabs his knee and shouts “My back! My back! “But I think, maybe he owed his money? I get out of this train! I watch the bus is worth it! Well, I come up and say “L & M blue and vodka 0.5“ well, she gives me Bond and beer, I take this and take the moonshine, and run away from these trash! So these firefighters caught up with the ambulance! We caught up and said, “You forgot your change!” Well, I take a kilo of apples, and go to the market to trade! I bring pears, so I did not have time to lay out these bananas, immediately my grandmother runs up, and buys all the peaches from me, and says to put everything into a little bag! And I think that she is completely f * anutaya, how can I put 20 watermelons in my bag in her bag! I took the money and went home! I did not go to the forest anymore.
And what for grandma drape smoked?
The bear was ugly, clumsy and dirty animal. But no one was kinder than him in the whole forest. Nevertheless, the animals noticed only his appearance, for which the Bear was terribly offended, grabbed them and kicked them cruelly. Therefore, the animals did not like him. Although he was very kind. And fun. He loved wacky jokes. The animals terribly hated him and beat him for these jokes. It is hard to be kind and cheerful in the world. The wolf was ugly and dirty too. And he was very angry and cruel. But the animals did not feel hatred for him and did not beat him. Because the Wolf died in early childhood. Because the Bear was born earlier for the Wolf. It is good if Good conquers Evil.
The hare was also evil and cruel. And dirty. He was also a coward. Zaets never did anyone a dirty trick. Because I was afraid. But he was still hurt. Because Evil must always be punished.
And the Woodpecker was also evil and cruel. He did not beat the beasts, since he had no hands. Therefore, he poured out his anger on the trees. The animals also did not beat him. Because they could not get it. Once a tree fell and crushed him to death. They say that it is revenge. After that, the animals were afraid for a month to pee on the trees. And they urinated on Hare. The hare caught cold and died. Everything became clear that the guilty woodpecker. But he was not touched. Since they could not pick out from under the tree. Evil sometimes remains unpunished. The mole was small and blind. He was not angry. He just did his job well. It was he who made the tree that fell on the woodpecker. No one found out about this, so they didn’t beat him. He was rarely beaten. More often frightened. But it was hard to frighten him, because he was blind and did not see that he was frightened. If it was not possible to scare Mole, the animals were very upset. And they beat the Bear. Since they were very annoyed. One day, the Bear also wanted to scare Mole. But the Mole was not afraid. Because the Bear killed him. By no means. Just Bear was very clumsy. And the beasts very painfully beat the Bear. Even though Bear said it was a joke. It is bad if nobody understands your jokes.
Fox was very tricky. She could easily fool anyone. If she did it, then she was not beaten. But sometimes she was not lucky. And they beat her. Beat all forest. And then she could not deceive anyone. Because it is very difficult to deceive someone if they beat you. Once she was beaten to death. Indeed, the secret becomes clear.
The boar was big, strong and scary. He was very much afraid. And therefore, he was beaten especially hard and always with the whole forest. Sometimes they just throw stones at him. Boar did not like this very much. And one night he hid all the stones in the forest. For this he was extremely beaten. Boar never hid stones again. Truth be told - time to collect stones and time not to touch it at all.
The goat was neither evil nor good. He was just a goat. He is often the goat. And they were afraid to beat him. And he got all his goat. And then he was beaten to death. Since otherwise he would die he was old. Someday. When Kozel died, Bear cried a lot. Because he secretly loved the Goat. Love is blind.
The hedgehog was small and prickly. He injected. He was not angry, he just pricked by nature. Therefore, he was beaten only in the stomach. Hedgehog did not like this, so he began to shave. And then they began to beat him like everyone else. It is very difficult if you are not like everyone else.
The skunk was almost the same as Zayets. Only very smelly. He smelled bad. He was beaten only in a plastic bag. Then the smell was not so strong. Once Skunk had a birthday. He invited all the animals, as he was very greedy and loved gifts. And the animals gave him a new plastic bag. And severely beaten to loss of consciousness. And Skunk choked in the package. So he was buried. In the package. In a very distant forest. Since the dead Skunk stank even more than alive. Then came the inhabitants of the Very Distant Forest and they all severely beat them. They did not like the smell of a dead Skunk. With neighbors need to live in harmony.
The hamster was also very greedy. And rich. If he shared his wealth, he would not have been hurt so much. But he still had to share. And he wept bitterly. The rich also cry.
Leo was the king of beasts. He ruled the forest. Kings beat is prohibited. This is the law. But all the animals have long been scored on this law. They beat and Leo. Never. Just so it has already happened here.
APPOINTMENT AND CONDITIONS OF OPERATION AND TECHNICAL DATA OF TOILET PAPER
Toilet paper, hereinafter referred to as the product, is intended to remove residues of the process of bowel movement from the outer edge of the back passage opening, adjacent skin areas and locally concentrated hairline on this body area (hereinafter referred to as the place of use).
1. Carefully read this manual. The instructions should be secured with MB screws in an easily accessible and well-lit place in the line of sight of the user.
2. Place the product roll on the user's chest level in a slightly horizontal position.
3. To produce the act of defecation.
4. Ensure the successful completion of the act and the absence of the desire to continue it (this item is important for saving and rational use of the product).
5. By direct forward movement of the right hand down, grab the tip (products), and then by sharp movement up and to the right at an angle of about 60 degrees to the horizon line pull (product), thus winding 700 mm.
6. It is variously guided by the movement of hands in a horizontal plane to produce a tape break approximately in the middle between the two nearest perforation areas. Persons possessing the absence of one of the upper extremities produce manipulations with the product with the help of a sharp cutting or chopping tool (scissors, table knife, razor, hatchet for cutting meat).
Observe the precautions set forth in the relevant instructions attached to these products.
Note: It is not recommended to tear the product along the perforation areas due to the danger of violation and deformation of the surface layer of the fibrous structure of the material of the product.
7. Fold a section of the product in the form of an accordion (bayan), successively bending it along the perforation areas, obtaining the product N2.
8. Transfer to the hand that is most convenient for the user.
9. Attach the product N2 obtained in the course of previous manipulations to the place of use and tightly pressing the skin to the skin to make wiping movements in the inter-gluteal space.
10. Having placed the used product in the field of view, in conditions of good illumination, inspect the smear on it for detecting the eggs of worms or signs of lice. If they are found, dial 03 and notify the relevant medical institutions at the place of residence. Otherwise, repeat steps 4-9 three or four times.
11. Use a clean, dry hand to check the quality of cleaning (between the buttocks, it should be dry to the touch, slightly rough, the edges of the anus should be well wiped, the hair should be fluffy and easily accessible for scratching). If there are signs of poor-quality rubbing (dirt under the nails, a sharp, specific odor during olfactory control, etc.), perform the manipulations described in sections 4–9 three or four times.
1. Do not smoke near the product.
2. Do not leave the used product in places of culture, recreation and eating.
3. Keep away from children. Toilet paper is not a toy, but a means of hygiene!
4. It is not recommended to reuse the product.