Funny sms, sms congratulations, sms jokes [page 1]

I'm an alien and I settled in your mobile. At the moment, when you press the buttons, I have sex with your finger, and I know that you like it, because you are smiling.

From the zoo just ran three monkeys: one was found near the tree, the second was not found, and the third was just seen reading this SMS

This is the SMS virus 2006! He has already made his way through the buttons of your mobile phone to your fingers through the hands and already has you in the anus, and I know that you like it because you're smiling

Listen, do not press so hard on the buttons, I'm hot, and generally take your hand away, otherwise I can not see anything!

At the moment, 2 million people are sleeping in the world, 1 million are eating, 0.5 million are making love and only one person, whom I love, reads my SMS.

How to conquer a woman? Take care of her, take care of her, love her, make her compliments, respect her. How to conquer a man? Undress and serve a bottle of beer!

If we release a guy into the forest, he will collect 3 kg of berries, if the girl is 5 kg. But this does not mean that if we let go to the forest of both, they will collect 8 kg of berries :)

How to conquer a woman? Take care of her, take care of her, love her, make her compliments, respect her. How to conquer a man? Undress and serve a bottle of beer!

Congratulations! You won a gypsy girl in the lottery! If you do not take the prize within 14 days, we will send a whole camp!

Your shape is perfect, your skin is tender, your smell drives me crazy, you have amazing eyes. From one of my touches, you start .... My favorite Ferrari F50 :) )))
Beeline informs: You have been sent a sweet magic dream! You can pick up the parcel in the bed of a loved one! Good night!

Dating club: "Who is over thirty!"

The secretary had such a bust that she could only work on the computer blindly.

It's good to be an alcoholic, As a boat sail through the streets!

Can not find the key to the heart of a woman? Try to pick up to another place!

He's jealous of everyone, indiscriminately. Even to those with whom I have never slept.

Our team will go to the World Cup !!! They collected 5 labels from Snickers!

My childhood was difficult! Up to 5 years, I thought that I was called Shut!

Psychic attack - sailors on zebras!

The first fraud in life? NIPPLE!

Dear subscriber! Your SIM card is blocked, calls are turned off, the contract is canceled, and your prepayment does not bother us.

I imagine how you swear when you once again hear the sounds of an incoming SMS message. And who is now easy?

From the zoo just ran three monkeys: one was found at the vegetable store, the second at the beer stand, and the third was just seen reading this text!

Oh, and who is looking at me with such beautiful eyes, I even felt dizzy.

God gave the man two heads, but he did not give enough blood to feed them at the same time!

I wanted to send you something beautiful, gentle, erotic, intelligent and fun, but I do not fit on the screen.

I'm better than a dog !? Take a walk with me ...

To see you is not a sight for the faint of heart.

I arrived normally, I kiss you. Your roof.

I'm sorry I can not come today. I'll be back tomorrow. Hangover.

The chimpanzee asks the mother: "Why does everyone say that we are terrible"? Yes, all this nonsense, you would have seen the one who is now reading this SMS.

Honey, I'm ready to lie down till the New Year between your legs and vibrate, vibrate, vibrate ... Your cell phone.

Send SMS "Where are you?" To any number at four in the morning and get a cool rhyme on your mobile phone! Company MTS.

The girl at you by chance legs or foots do not hurt? No? It's strange - and you have not left my head all day!

Do not say what I need to do, and I will not say where you need to go.

Attention stock! Now the cost of the conversation depends on the length of your penis, the smaller the term, the less the cost of the conversation. Congratulations! You speak for free! Funny sms on

Your eyes are so beautiful, Like flowers on a spring meadow. I'm gonna rape you anyway, Cause I really want to!

I can not forget you, You dream about me at night. Your gentle smell of taste and color, Stand before your eyes. When you are not with me, Everything in life is so melancholy, I can not live without you, My native one is BEER!

Well, hello man ...

Again the rain after the window, again I'm sad a little, Tears are dripping from heaven, you came to me sms!

I miss you so much when you're far away, I so want you to be around, I do not have your look, Smile sweet sweet and ass hairy!

Girl, you smell so good! What did you drink today?

If you want, I'm at home ...

Your neighbor bought new furniture. Tonight I'll come to strangle you. Toad.

The night is coming. The moon is higher ... In the heart - jealousy! The roof is coming! Come quickly, well! Or from the roof of a cigar ...

YOU - infinitely good, phenomenally clever, damn attractive, divinely beautiful, exceptionally decent and crystal-clear, unprecedentedly talented, hypersexual, incomparably unmatched - THE MIRACLE!

I congratulate you on the coming divine holiday. I wish to meet the next holiday in paradise ...

A lot of feelings do not stop me, so I want to hug you, even if I embrace - all the same I will not get over it.

Well, when will you finally open your eyes and see that I need?

Daragaya (NAME)! I'm madly inside of you! I ABRAVE you. Vasa is a fusilage! Your deeper Schickspir.

They say that there are seven wonders of the world on earth, but there is one more beautiful thing - it's me! Funny sms on

I want you, darling, I want to hug and kiss, undress and put on the bed, cover up with a blanket and ... sleep!

Hello, our dear subscriber. You participated in the drawing of cell phones and won the Nokia 6600. You can pick up your prize at the main office. Megaphone.

Honey, I already started talking with a chair, having breakfast with a teapot. If you do not call me, I will enter into a serious relationship with a vacuum cleaner.

Collect sponges in a bow, relax, stretch in a smile, relax, show the duck's lips, relax. Repeat 10 times every 15 minutes before I arrive.

There is no louder sound than the silence of the phone!

Darling, you woke up the phone so you know, I love you very much, sleep on, my sun!

I must (en) you to confess something. I can not hide it from you anymore. I do not want to hurt you, but you must (know), I miss you!

Send SMS, I really want to hear your voice.

Hi baby, I love you and I go crazy without your passionate lips, gentle and sweet girlfriends, whom you keep hiding from me all the time.

You never say that you love me. Yes, we walk, you talk to me, press me to you, but you never say that you love ... Maybe you're in love with some other cell phone?

Do you want to send now or by fax?

I never forget a person, but in your case I will be glad to make an exception ...

Autumn has come, the sheets are falling, I do not need anyone, except you.

Sometimes I think, where are all the angels, in heaven, in the air, or on earth? But I know for sure that the most beautiful angel is reading this text now and smiling sweetly.