This page has been robot translated, sorry for typos if any. Original content here.

Funny sms, sms congratulations, sms jokes [page 1]

I am an alien and I settled in your mobile. At the moment, when you press the buttons, I have sex with your finger, and I know that you like it because you smile.

Three monkeys have just escaped from the zoo: one was found by the tree, the second was not found, and the third was just seen reading this SMS

This is SMS virus 2006! He has already made his way through the buttons of your mobile phone through your fingers and already has you in the anus, and I know that you like it because you smile

Listen, don’t press the buttons so hard, it’s hot for me, and generally take your hand away, otherwise I don’t see anything!

At the moment, 2 million people are sleeping in the world, 1 million are eating, 0.5 million are making love, and only one person whom I really love is reading my SMS.

How to conquer a woman? Take care of her, take care of her, love her, give her comments, respect her. How to conquer a man? Undress and serve a bottle of beer!

If we let the guy out into the forest, he will collect 3 kg of berries, if the girl is 5 kg. But this does not mean that if we release both of them into the forest, they will collect 8 kg of berries :)

How to conquer a woman? Take care of her, take care of her, love her, give her comments, respect her. How to conquer a man? Undress and serve a bottle of beer!

Congratulations! You won a gypsy girl in the lottery! If you do not pick up the prize within 14 days, then we will send a whole camp!

Your shape is perfect, your skin is tender, your smell is driving me crazy, you have amazing eyes. From one touch you start up .... My favorite Ferrari F50 :) )))
Beeline informs: You have been sent a sweet magical dream! You can pick up the parcel in the bed of your beloved! Good night!

Dating Club: "Who's over thirty!"

The secretary had such a bust that she could only work on a computer blindly.

It’s good to be an alcoholic, Like a boat sailing through the streets!

Can't find the key to a woman’s heart? Try to pick up to another place!

He is jealous of everyone, indiscriminately. Even to those with whom I have never slept.

Our team will go to the world championship !!! They collected 5 labels from Snickers!

My childhood was difficult! Until 5 years old, I thought my name was SHUT UP!

Mental attack - sailors on zebras!

The first deception in life? NIPPLE!

Dear Subscriber! Your SIM card is blocked, calls are disconnected, the contract is canceled, and your prepayment does not bother us.

I imagine how you swear when you once again hear the sounds of an incoming SMS message. And who is easy now?

Three monkeys have just escaped from the zoo: one was found at a greengrocer, the second at a beer stall, and the third was just spotted reading this SMS!

Oh, and whoever looks at me with such beautiful eyes, I even got dizzy.

God gave the man two heads, but did not give enough blood to feed them at the same time!

I wanted to send you something beautiful, gentle, erotic, smart and funny, but I do not fit on the screen.

I'm better than a dog !? Take a walk with me ...

To see you is not a sight for the faint of heart.

I arrived normally, kiss. Your roof.

Sorry I can’t come today. I will come tomorrow. Hangover.

Chimpanzee asks mom: "Why does everyone say that we are scary"? Yes, all this is nonsense, you would see the one who is now reading this SMS.

Honey, I’m ready to lie until the New Year between your legs and vibrate, vibrate, vibrate ... Your mobile phone.

Send SMS “Where are you?” To any number at four in the morning and get a cool rhyme on your mobile phone! MTS company.

Does your girl accidentally hurt your legs? No? Strange - but you have not left my head all day!

Do not say what I need to do, and I will not say where you need to go.

Attention stock! Now the cost of the conversation depends on the length of your penis, the smaller the penis, the lower the cost of the conversation. Congratulations! You talk for free! cool sms on

Your eyes are so beautiful, Like flowers in a spring meadow. I still raped you, Because I really want to!

I can’t forget you. You dream at night. Your delicate smell, taste and color, Stand before your eyes. When you are not with me, Everything in life is so dreary, I cannot live without you, My native is BEER!

Well hello man ...

Again, rain outside the window, again I am a little sad, Tears are falling from heaven, you sent me an SMS!

I miss you so much when you are far away, I really want you to be there, I miss your gaze, Smiles sweet sweet and ass hairy!

Girl, it smells so good from you! What did you drink today?

If you want, I'm home ...

Your neighbor bought new furniture. I’ll come tonight to strangle you. Toad.

The night is coming. The moon is higher ... In the heart - jealousy! The roof is coming! Come soon, well! Or a cigan from the roof ...

YOU - infinitely kind, phenomenally smart, damn attractive, divinely beautiful, exceptionally decent and crystal honest, unprecedentedly talented, hypersexual, incomparable unmatched - MONSTER!

Congratulations on the upcoming divine holiday. I wish to meet the next holiday in paradise ...

I can’t stop a lot of feelings, so I want to hug you, even if I hug, I still won’t get enough.

Well, when will you finally open your eyes and see what I need?

Daragaya (NAME)! I am insanely deep in you! Abazhayu you. Vasa ulik pliklastna! Your in-depth Shakespeare.

They say that there are seven wonders of the world on earth, but there is one more wonderful thing - it is me! cool sms on

I want you, my love, I want to hug and kiss, undress and put on the bed, cover with a blanket and ... sleep!

Hello, our dear subscriber. You participated in the draw for cell phones and won the Nokia 6600. You can pick up your prize at the main office. Megaphone.

Honey, I already started talking with a chair, having breakfast with a kettle. If you do not call me, I will enter into a serious relationship with a vacuum cleaner.

Gather the lips in a bow, relax, stretch out in a smile, relax, show the duck with your lips, relax. Repeat 10 times every 15 minutes before my arrival.

There is no louder sound than the silence of the phone!

Honey, the phone woke you up so that you recognize, I love you very much, sleep on, my sun!

I have to admit something to you. I can’t hide it from you anymore. I don’t want to hurt you, but you should know, I miss you!

Send SMS, I really want to hear your voice.

Hello baby, I love you and lose my mind without your passionate lips, tender and sweet girlfriends, whom you always hide from me.

You never say you love me Yes, we walk, you talk to me, hold me close to you, but you never say that you love ... Maybe you are in love with some other mobile phone?

Send you now or fax?

I never forget the face, but in your case I will be happy to make an exception ...

Autumn has come, sheets are falling, I do not need anyone except you.

Sometimes I think, where are all the angels, in heaven, in the air, or on earth? But I know for sure that the most beautiful angel is now reading this SMS and smiling sweetly.