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Spizzhenny lehus Korneliuk - grusno and prativno ...
Famous Russian kampazitr (in the bad sense of the word Etowah) pasidifshimi with curls and perhatyu-sirpantinom in the tower, loureat competition << >> fantasmagorich eskaya sip Ygar Karnelyug, the fault squander your ugonschikof, zarabotony h esnym anal hard Lexus er IGS 470. proshedshy zaibatelsky vtorneg, hairy schmuck parked on ulitse Gatchina, closed with a key fob mashynu papizdilo to friends and chorus sing pestni biting zhyvu << >> I bite. As soapschil very chunky poodle on two legs, bitching drin he bought two mesettsa nozat. Sobakovoz was aborudovan naipizdateyshymi protection sistemame, duck in the driving seat, built kotopultoy, pyrotechnical, natselennym in anuz hijacker, otagzhe by a dick for some Romani flag and orbuzom in the back seat. Nahua shaggy ortistu ponadobilso orbus? Vazmozhno consuming orbuzy in industrial quantities, kampazitora (in the bad sense of the word Etowah) register for the remainder anal Muzo, and pressing on the urine EDT achkastoy creature, gave him for Creo theme. Perhaps Igarёsho puts orbus under zheppu, shtoby give yourself the opportunity to besperiskopnogo ftykaniya the road. The third assumption is zaklyuchyaetsa INTO Pivec orbus used to introduce himself into the urethra, and then with grushepodobnym gortseval by a dick on stage and sang kornelyugskom ezyke visoluyu Pesenko << padazhdi Dazhdidazhdi yaastavel lyubofpa >> Zadie (b / n pidarskaya pestni). Not the point êàî, smysol that f INTO astrakhan bormoley bolshe Vsev orbus regretted that hulegany've stole along with the Lexus. Interestingly fagt INTO kompozitra friends (in the bad sense of the word Etowah) stood on the balcony and watching the ugonschikame smiled mischievously over terpily, bleeding and vesicular soplyame ustsyvayas atsmeha INTO confirms rumors of a fucking music bagemy total. Sam aftr hit << >> blowjob to get sick fucking - << >> rooting on blowjob fucking - << >> ticket to get sick commented proischestvie three honor (not pizhzhu) "grusno and prativno" after chevo two hands dexterously He caught a hairy jungle in Chalk colony vshey skinny and sorry zahomyachiv dozen or captured insects, grusno poshol to compose a new song bitching. Here is a nelёhkaya zhyzni Russian kompozitrov. Pussy their watermelons. Pussy! Stsuko simple.
POLICE gray days.
Captain Larin scratched his ass. - Okay, write on. The corpse belongs to a young girl who looked 20-25 years old. The corpse completely naked, on her left breast visible bluish spots like bruises. On the right breast, just above and to the right nipple, a tattoo of a pair of scissors. The legs of the corpse spread wide apart, the primary sexual characteristics is a foreign object - the male sexual organ. The sexual organ is cut off. Located in neeregirovannom state. Captain Larin paused. It was his 351 th corpse for years of service in the police force. No emotion, this dead young girl Larin did not cause - perhaps just lazy desire to touch his dick - check to see whether he had cut off the "foreign object", which is now clearly sticking their dead girl's pussy. - The corpse's eyes are wide open. The corpse stiff. In both the corpse hands clamped flags with symbols of the Russian official - in his right hand - the state flag of the Russian Federation. In his left hand - the standard of the Russian Federation President. Traces of blood on the body and near the corpse and around the gym is not revealed. Larin again scratched his ass, pulled out a pack of "java" and lit a cigarette. Work did not want to. I wanted to go home, on the way to take a bottle of vodka, ravioli and a couple of video tapes with some militants - "Predator 2", or "Enemy of the State" for example. Larin fell silent, motionless, staring into space, not blinking. Larin's head was empty, he did not think about anything. Stuck. Dukalis rose from his squatting position, for some reason, too, brushed off his jacket and lit - Larin, good stick, shit! Look, let's quickly finish here, so let's go thump to the guys! Damn, still only 11 o'clock in the morning, and I have become tired! Nahua all this fucking Tiny lies here? That is, damn, is now crawling here, fuck, her pussy hairs are looking for fingerprints around e banomu gym shoot! Well damn what dick it flooded in this devastated school? Well, what is the dick to her home not eblos? AND INTO is this such a fashion, our duty in this dolboebstvom do? Now ischschi, whore, from whom she is this dick cut off, Nahuas she had cut off, Nahuas his pussy stuck, causing died huiteli parents, friends fucking dick! Now, fuck, six months, we will disclose this garbage! Amanita zaebet us his zaebet Glaucus, Glaucus zaebet fucking Matvienko Matvienko zaebet Nurgaliyev Nurgaliyev zaebet Putin - OU Nahua All this should be? Dura, damn, why are you pissing these flags in hand picked? You know ssuka dull, it is now - a political case? Dukalis kicked the corpse of the girl dirty shoe. the corpse's head snapped to the left and right - right. The dead eyes stared straight into the eyes Dukalis - - INTO hatched, the prostitute? We, slut! Two witnesses - old homelessly form, collect the bottle and found the body, and some sixteen teenager, caught at the exit of the meter with a Ukrainian passport and is therefore not managed to otmazatsya the role of witness, standing two meters away from the corpse and frightened silence. They scared the body itself, as well as a cynical grunt Dukalis. Larin again scratched his ass and returned to the world. He went to Dukalis and whispered to him: "Get away, a couple of words." They retreated to the wall bars. - Listen, Dukalis when this old pussy to the department called, who took up the phone? - I, who else! - Exactly? - Yes, exactly, they all went to congratulate Solovtsov happy birthday, I'm the last of the office out. Well, this pussy and rang the bell. From the machine - there is - Dukalis pointed out. Well blasphemy, I did not take your men, you're on a cell rang. And then you know yourself! Why do you ask? - Oh, just do not take it into his head to think Larin. What if right, calmly, huyarim Hohlenko head. Cut off his dick, and then pick up his dick hohlyatsky throwing into the channel cut throat We put on a woman so. We get the rape and murder in self-defense dibs plant on the second floor and discharged into the hole head down, whether it should be a lot, hehe STOP FUCK! Examination dick check and understand that dick is not hohlyadsky. Do not go. If so: dick sticking out of pussy girls, and throw in the channel. Hozlenka forced to fuck the girl and cut his throat, his grandmother - from the second floor FUCK! She is in the hands of Chiyo fuck boxes! The examination shows that it is not holding the knife, but something subtle! Chtoli thrust her dick in both of his hands, and boxes - into the canal? Damn, do not drown, ststsuka So Larin lit another cigarette Plan is not formed. "Well, Captain, good think makes Hohlenko fuck grandma, cut her throat, cut off his dick, inserted in the ass standard of the president, the second dick -.. Grandmother in her pussy, like she was with by a dick in pussy came, we hand over the bottle, get drunk in ass. Blyayayayayayayayayayayayaya. ". Larin wept. Nothing came of it. "Fuck the grandma way, sew it Devkin dick, girl - on the second floor, cut the throat, Hohlenko ass - flags, grandmother in her mouth empty bottle, shit Hohlenko mouth, beheaded, fuck girl, grandmother - in channel Hohlenko anal aaaaaaaaaoooouuuuuu, blyad, well paachemuuuu, pachemuuuuuu advokaaaatom I did not, well, I like this nahhuuuuuya menturaaaa nuzhnaaaa bylaaaaaaaaoooooouuyuyuyuyuyuyuyu .. ". When the three minutes with flashing lights and sirens came experts and the district authorities, Larin sat on the floor, leaning back against the wall bars and sobbing grandmother stroked his head and something tenderly and reassuringly kept saying, Dukalis busily finishing the inspection record the scene, and small hohlenok cautiously picking his nose and occasionally, furtively looking around, eating his boogers.
Japanese poetry.
Excess of sentimentality is always fraught with snot. Where seasoned quality fucked? I would not sleep ... of sexual minorities, and a handful of Masons. Order kurtuaznyh Mannerist. Motherfuckers. A romantic dinner with candles and champagne. Who said it was fun ... schA nazhrus ... Let there always be sunshine, I do not mind. Mom also let it be, dick her undone. With a vacuum cleaner ebus. Favorite eyes bloodshot. Well, do not sleep at home, well, sometimes ... go fuck himself. Briefs for forty dollars Neither the dick do not affect libido. Fuck ... I study the high art of origami. He wants love, but the paper hands are full. Dick or boat? .. Terrible oaths give myself to quit. And half-way did not pass, but fucking catches. Elevator has broken ... I never could have fuck nigger. Black and smelly Jam now. ruberoid sale. In the depths of memory looking for bawdy anecdote. What do you talk about Nabokov, son of a goat? .. The cat with boots fetishize boyfriend. In vain I am looking for a sense to the owner thereof. Cat rights ... Juli smart you dignify me? From storerooms intelligence IOHE you also clings round ass? .. My great-grandmother studied at Smolny, was a countess. I like to fuck, we have a democracy like in the nose ... ... poking around eight in the morning. In the doorway dissolve away. On all fours I wish them a good road. The evening ended. I put away makeup, cut into pieces tights. Type this without him I do not change. Yes, even sewed up ... Yesterday showed the charm of sweaty palms. Today impose my companions-in-law husband. Pervert ... Melancholy on a deserted beach. Wankers every dunes. Tease ... Hands loved the smell of the Moscow sausage exude. Breakfast was preparing himself and wants a reward for it. Ebus not breathing. How many mysterious creatures in the grass dwells How amazing taste of black earth Naebnulas Asks favorite bind themselves to ebley admire one mind, right now, and tie the club upizduyu if the taxi driver did not take the money with eblischa Cute Above a business card stuck in the cut indecent if the incision is small? Here Jam calls and breathing quickened Mysteriously Fingering unknown to me selfish and scheming Writes favorite words on the back, and I'm slow-witted Either get drunk or even earnest Everywhere the word dick Happiness girlfriend found met a handsome prince I did fuck sent two years ago for stupid little town forehead having rested against the wall standing tired hands behind snuffling fuss sometimes swearing Love came
CYCLE SHIT IN NATURE.
It was an ordinary Sunday morning. Lelik dove returned home from a fun and slightly hit by a car. He was very upset. At the entrance he met a neighbor's bulldog Gosh, what hurt was nech ischenym boot to the gut and surprise collapsed in the stairwell. Bulldog Ghosh was extremely distressed. He flew down silently. The landing was soft enough, except for the spread-eagled on the butts Aunt Dunya and spilled milk. Out of gratitude Gosh badly bitten body part most kusabelnye aunt Dusi and with a triumphant howl escaped into the street. Aunt Darling was extremely upset. She washed the soiled dress. After some time, the remains of adhering matter butts gave a yellowish tint korich nevy. Mostly. When her husband returned, Uncle Peter, she assumed a face under the name of "the flock of penguins liberal left without ice cream." Then she told her uncle Pete what she thinks about his alcoholism and sexual potency. During that Uncle Peter told her what he thought of the stains on the dress, scratches and bites on the body and the remains of milk in her hair. During this darling aunt I told him what she thought of her husband's love for animals and other uncles. During that Uncle Peter told her what he thought of my mother aunt Dusi, as well as the most perfect figure of Aunt Dusi. During that Uncle Peter was a frying pan on a mighty intellect. Uncle Peter was extremely distressed. He is alternately applied to the mighty intellect pan and white and yellow cloth, which until then had been the dress Aunt Dusi. When the doorbell rang, it was applied a frying pan. Uncle Peter reluctantly opened the door a kick. On the threshold stood a wandering salesman ermolayzerov. He happily told Uncle Pete that he was able to just some hundred dollars to buy a unique product - a set of ermolayzerov. Or for some two hundred dollars to buy a unique right of free trade ermolayzerami free app - set ermolayzerov. Uncle Peter listened to him and, in turn, happily reported that, in fact, he loves ermolayzery Shade Pts. And he loves to stray ermolayzerov vendors, including and him personally. And to love him, he is going to personally right here and now. Then Uncle Peter moved to action, much Perelyub Seller a frying pan on his head and slammed the door. Wandering ermolayzerov seller was very disappointed, sadly I walked down the stairs and I thought that love was reciprocated uncle Petit answer you need. At the gate, he met bulldog Gosha. The seller was very happy and fed Gaucher four sets ermolayzerov illiquid. Gosh, in turn, I was very happy, munching noisily and wagging his stump of a tail, consumed food, and then a shrill bark chased itinerant seller ermolayzerov the yard. Bulldog Ghosh was extremely distressed. For the evening ermolayzery worked, and he felt so young, healthy and beautiful, that it was the time to die. Now he was determined to lead a healthy lifestyle, do not drink, smoke and eat only stray ermolayzerov sellers. In the evening the mighty dog ​​body digest and still ermolayzery bulldog dumped all four sets at the door yard ocharovashka Lyuska. Four in one. Yard adorable Lyuska was extremely upset. She was going to a birthday to her friend Rose. Girlfriend Rosa was ugly and sloppy, and on its background Lyuska had become a real queen of the feast in his skin-tight pink dress with a cut on the same "this thing." If it had not slipped on processed products ermolayzerov. Perfect dress absorbed roughly three and a half set was hopelessly flawed. While standing in his underwear, she soaked the remnants of luxury in the bathroom, in an unlocked apartment Lelik showed up with the words "Lyus, matches are not there? Oh, but what is here is the smell?". Lyuska gathered was dunk and Lelik, but then changed her mind, married him and ruined him for life. Moral: Let's talk to each other compliments and stop throwing feces at each other ...
SEX bounds.
Sexologists have long pointed out that the satisfaction from sex at different times of the day is very different. The same affection, depending on the time a woman is perceived differently. Therefore, look at his watch and ponder what you can get from your partner at the moment and that he can offer her. 6.00 8.00 She: Even if she was awake, her body is not ready for sex. The level of melatonin in the blood (the sleep hormone) is gradually reduced, and the body temperature has not increased after sleep (the night the body temperature decreases slightly). Although sometimes very nice to wake up during lovemaking. The main thing is that the partner is not in a hurry, and let her wake up leisurely caress. He: The majority of men it is in these hours are at the peak of sexual activity, is now the level of testosterone in his blood reaches its maximum value. He needs to cheer up and gain strength before a new day. But he was not ready for long lasting affection. Quick sex that's what you can expect. 8.00 10.00 She: Finally awake and ready for sex. Now in her blood levels of endorphins, "happiness hormones" reaches its maximum value. In order to be excited, it does not take long. He: already set up a working mood. The level of testosterone in his blood dropped and went back to normal. So rather difficult today to stir up the favorite. 10.00 12.00 It: In these hours she has sharpened all the taste buds. Right now, she can get a maximum of pleasure from oral sex. By the way, this kind of love games man always ready. He: Men dominates the thinking activity. So he, instead of h To have sex, will talk about this for hours, but it is unlikely he will show activity. And any of your actions, he will begin to mentally analyze and build a "profound" conclusions. 12.00 14.00 It: Its activity reaches its maximum value. But this does not apply to sexuality. In these difficult hours the woman to relax and focus on sex. But at the same time, if it is going to take your favorite sexual education, he should not be ashamed and poprobat all in practice. He: Configured on a playful way. At this time, the male level of "happiness hormones" reaches its maximum value. So he wants to h it something unusual, even extreme, and happy to accept all your ideas. 14.00 16.00 It: At this time, her body is most prepared to conceive. But a long and lasting affection she is not ready. Fast, even a little hard sex that's what it is now necessary. Also during these hours she aggravated olfactory senses, and the most important thing for her to from the man came a pleasant smell. He said: At about four o'clock in the afternoon the male body produces the best quality sperm. Therefore, if you are thinking of procreation, it is the time. 16.00 18.00 It: At this time, it occurs a decline in activity. Most of the women in these hours are not capable of active affection. Но она не прочь принимать эти ласки от партнера. Поэтому, если любимый рвется в бой, не стоит останавливать его. Он: Готов к бою, хотя и не способен на длительные ласки. Ему необходимо ч ерез секс сбросить усталость и отрицательную энергию. Поэтому все, на что ты можешь рассчитывать, это быстрый секс. 18.00 20.00 Она: Необходимо восполнить недостаток энергии, поэтому не стоит отказываться от ужина. В это время у нее максимально обострены слуховые ч увства. Она готова слушать длинные признания в любви и комплименты в свой адрес. Он: В это время мужчина не способен на сексуальные игры. Сейчас он может думать только об удовлетворении чувства голода и об отдыхе после ужина. Все свои силы его организм тратит на переваривание пищи. Хотя, если ты пригласишь его на легкий банкет в постели, то он вряд ли откажется. 20.00 22.00 Она: Самое время для продолжительных любовных игр. Она полна сил (если не отказывалась от ужина) и готова взять инициативу в свои руки. Самое время для экспериментов в постели. Он: Рвется в бой и готов выполнить любое твое желание. В это время ваши сексуальные часы полностью совпадают. 22.00 0.00 Она: Ближе к полуночи у нее в крови резко увеличивается уровень мелатонина. Организм постепенно засыпает, даже если она привыкла ложиться поздно. Поэтому сейчас ее сексуальная чувствительность снижается. Но в то же время обостряются романтические чувства, когда хочется просто держаться за руки, обниматься, целоваться и ничего больше. Он: Максимально расслаблен, но еще не спит. Поэтому сейчас готов к длинным и продолжительным ласкам. Для того чтобы хорошо заснуть, ему нужно выбросить остатки энергии. И сексуальные игры для этого подходят лучше всего. 0.00 6.00 Она: Ее организм нуждается в отдыхе. Но ведь можно заниматься любовью в полусне. Кстати, очень многие женщины, ранее не испытывающие оргазм, именно в полусонном состоянии достигают пика сексуального наслаждения. Это связано с тем, что во сне они способны полностью расслабляться. Самое главное, ч тобы партнер не спал. Он: Крепко спит, и разбудить его очень сложно.
тётечки жгут
За что мы любим мужиков?...
За лаконичность фраз горячих:
"О, боги, кто послал мне эту дуру?"
За конструктивность разговора:
"Я прав, ведь я мужик, на этом точка".
За праведность увещеваний тонких:
"Ты в этой шубе как корова, не надо нам животных в доме".
За утренний пролитый на подушку кофе:
"Но, милая, я ведь принес его, в натуре!"
За громкие раскаты мата:
"Твою-то мать, ну что ты делаешь в воротах!"
За редкие мгновенья в ресторане:
"В тени свечей ты выглядишь чудесно, я выверну все лампочки в квартире!"
За нежные прикосновенья в ванной:
"Я, драгоценная, побрился, иди скорее, пока я голый".
За долгожданные звонки по телефону:
"Ну я попью пивка с друзьями, а ты пока позырь порнушку".
За неожиданность букетов:
"Любимая - 8 марта, а у меня не стираны носочки!"
За жизнелюбие мирское:
"Вот, сука, просит подаянье, ща тресну по башке роялем!"
За оптимизм, сияющий лучами:
"Давай же жрать быстрей, ведь скоро все подохнем!"
За счастье секса после года жизни:
"Сегодня спим! Ты сверху! Мне лениво повернуться!"
За помощь в механических проблемах:
"Тразистор разбирается по схеме. А схему помнит дядя Леша".
За силу, что в нас мужество вселяет:
"Ты лучше помолчи, вонючка, а то лишу дурацких выступов на теле!"
За радость над полученным подарком:
"Купила б лучше руль спортивный, мне твой парфюм по барабану!"
Мы любим Вас, ведь мы же бабы, а бабы, как известно, дуры
Физиологический тест для мужчин
1. Дефлорация - это:
а) разновидность дегельминтизации;
б) дефекация;
в) дефектация;
г) море свежести всего в двух калориях;
д) война малой кровью на чужой территории.
2. Восстановление девственной плевы хирургами - это:
а) лишний повод дефлорировать девушку;
б) лишний повод дефлорировать хирурга;
в) восьмое чудо света;
г) сизифов труд;
д) моральная травма для оперируемого мужчины.
3. Пуленепробиваемая девственная плева - это:
а) суровая реальность;
б) случай из рассказа Лема "Плевое дело";
в) на каждый замок ключик найдется!
г) пожарный вход;
д) запасный выход.
4. "Пояс верности" - это:
а) упрощенный вариант цепей Гименея;
б) народное название импликатора Кузнецова;
в) карта регионов, проголосовавших "за";
г) вериги, надеваемые Маме Римской;
д) партбилет коммуниста.
5. Секс - это:
а) не роскошь, а удар по бездорожью и разгильдяйству;
б) ответ на вопрос "Что делать?";
в) предмет ленинской работы "Шаг - в перед, Два - на зад";
г) гол и голь на выдумки хитры;
д) 9,5 недель, которые потрясли мир.
6. Женщины:
а) нужны!
б) нужны!
в) нужны!
г) нужны!
д) нужны!
7. Презерватив для летчиков должен быть:
а) с крылышками и пропеллером;
б) с турбонаддувом;
в) на двоих со штурманом;
г) с системой катапультирования в случае разгерметизации;
д) должен быть.
8. Девственник ли ты?
а) да;
б) нет;
в) да-да-нет-да;
г) воздержался, уже в который раз;
д) не помню, спросите у жены.
За каждый ответ "а" засчитывается от 1 до 5 баллов, "б" - от 5 до 1, "в" - 1, 2, 3, 4 или 5, "г" - 1 или 2, 3 или 4, а может быть 5, "д" - или 1, или 2, или 3, или 4, или 5. Если число баллов у вас меньше 8, значит вы девственник, больше 40 - сексуальный маньяк, а от 8 до 40 - сложный случай и для уточнения диагноза без кесарева сечения не обойтись.