HOROSCOPE OF HUMAN FRAUDS

Stubborn Aries (March 21 - April 20)

Упрямые Овны (21 марта - 20 апреля)

The men.

Look to your friend Aries in the eye carefully - a man has long been exhausted ... Aries-men love sex and are confident in their Sexual Professionalism. They go crazy in bed, if you, of course, have time to reach it. Having a lover Aries, get ready to mate with him in the elevator, bus and movie theater. Do not be scared, because many people consider Aries to be a paradise for the fair sex - they will break up, trying to impress their woman. However, to joke about Aries is not worth it - they do not like it, and their humor is "special". Aries' own opinion on any (even unfamiliar) subject will be upheld to the last. Even if he knows that he is not right, he will still argue and argue from the principle. The loser-loser is an eerie bore and grumbler, stay away from them.

Women.
Educated women-sheep love to have sex, pomrat men and read romantic porn. In bed, obscene poses and obscenities are heard aloud. In the morning Sheep can easily pretend that it is not she who cried yesterday during an orgasm, and in general you are unfamiliar. In anger or resentment, she will commit any nonsense - including changes with the first oncoming simpatyaga. She is capricious like a child, she sobs and stomps her feet. At this moment, talking with her is useless. For the sake of good sex, the chaste Sheep will simply throw a good man, but will tolerate the antics of some nerd, if only he completely satisfies her. Confident of their unwritten beauty, Ovenshi rarely abuse cosmetics. Wait for violent sexual upheavals, jealousy, betrayal and intolerance, in general, you will not regret.

<< The Pup of the Earth >> Taurus (April 21 - May 21)

<<Пуп Земли>> Телец (21 апреля - 21 мая)

The men.
The man-Taurus thinks to himself: "Unlike some, I can achieve everything and so, if only I want." What's the point of jerking something? ">>" The sense of humor is not in the price of these suspicious pessimists, because they often become It's good that the Taurus are slow enough, stingy and boring to get angry with these fools.One bad habit (such as fiercely picking one's ears or tirelessly breaking fingers) brightens up their intense thoughts.The typical idyll of Taurus: how A trophy seal, he is lazy in front of a television set, slowly chewing or sipping, pensively pulling his hair.

Women.
Have you contacted the Taurus Woman? Give in or leave before it's too late! Her stubbornness you still can not overcome, and the scene with a battering of dishes about your bad head is just around the corner. If you screwed up, begging her forgiveness will not be easy. They themselves sometimes scared to what extent they are getting stoned. However, between us, the Taurus of the female spill, as well as all of us, do not often obsessive thoughts about sex, which they clumsily cover up with banal romantic bikes. They are purposeful freeloaders, judicious and extremely "stubborn" in matters of the family of the young lady. In other words, if you would like to have a big strong family and a bunch of children, look for a Taurus Woman and get ready. I'm sure you'll feel good together.

Fussy Gemini (May 22 - June 20)

Суетливые Близнецы (22 мая - 20 июня)

The men.
Twins always hang out from place to place, changing friends, professions, despising schedules. They love to powder people's brains, brew porridge and mock. Self-determination at the highest level, although they can list their shortcomings for hours. Do not try to win from them a verbal battle - the language is perfectly suspended. Do not take offense at their evil jokes, it's all a solid circus - in fact, envious twins think about you much worse. As a true friend, Gemini will immediately call you when he needs your help or car. Property slips through your fingers, the future with them is unreliable, but the present is funny. Beware, if your partner is a Gemini: if he is not with you now, then for sure he is flirting with your girlfriend in the next room. After such a friend, the other men will seem to you for a long time to be virgin.

Women.
Although Twins in their youth and tend to sleep with anyone, many men find them cold. With them, you could realize the most intimate dreams, if they were able to realize a quarter of their fantasies. Their new ideas and eccentric antics can drive some Capricorn or Taurus crazy. Although it is believed that spiritual intimacy and money for Bliznyashka is more important than sex, but she will gladly sleep with the man he likes (even if the husband or boyfriend is sleeping in the next room). Like any ideal spouse, she always prefers Career to housekeeping. Rarely speaking the truth in his eyes, Twins prefers to play and say half-glorious. The loss of a loved one or a loved one awakens her sport interest to return it. I knew a couple of twins, easily combining family, work, friends and a couple of lovers.

Hypersensitive Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Мнительный Рак (21 июня - 22 июля)

The men.
Cancer is lazy, but erotic. Always with money, while whining that he has none of it. It happens eloquently. Women think the lowest, but prefers young. It is strongly inclined to become attached to one and painfully experiences a break (sometimes even a whole week). If they contradict him, they can come to frenzy and even blush for an instant with anger. No one is able to play such an offended "virtue" when he is actually to blame. He is able to easily get lost in two pine trees himself and at the same time confuse everyone around. Male Cancer - ruined youth and no emotional impact. In general, good luck, ladies (and gentlemen?).

Women.
There is nothing more boring and tearful than a tender Cancer Woman. If she is sorry, the snot will spread to her knees. It excites the role of an innocent girl, who is possessed by a dissolute man. She is terrified of criticism, especially if she is joked with her. There is only a hint of lack of interest in it - and Rakinja in the breeze and in such depressions that neither Pisces nor Scorpios dreamed. However, do not think that this is a weak woman - she is not only vindictive and resentful, but also loves (and CAN) play on our weaknesses, dear! And achieves in this case considerable success. And yet, do not swear to no avail - in this case, you can achieve anything only caresses.

Jealous Lions (July 23 - August 22)

Ревнивые Львы (23 июля - 22 августа)

The men.
The arrogant Lion is too generous to remember resentments or promises. After all, he is a real Man of the Word and will certainly fulfill the promised (unless, of course, he does not forget). Proud Leo does not like conflicts, but has the talent to stick to all sorts of alterations and stories. The worst thing that a Lion can do is bark, and Happiness for him is to play big in a casino. In bed, he always tries to prove that he is the most indefatigable lover. And maybe, so it is, think flattered red girls.

Women.
Vain and authoritative Lioness possesses an enviable talent to invent her own misfortunes. When her ego touches her, she will not build any malicious plans there, but simply expresses at once what she thinks of you and puffs up. Lioness often falls in love with men who do not care about her at all. Feeling the same love from a partner, she can throw him mercilessly. Lioness modestly considers herself the center of the universe and her motto is simple: "You must come to me myself." Do not you dare criticize the Lioness !!! You will be worse. Want to please? Buy her some goldcane more expensive and tell her that her character is like an angel, that besides you nobody needs you. Three or four days a week Lioness << is loaded >> in depression, and the rest of the time justly thinks of herself as a gift of fate for you, my friend.

The pedantic Virgin (August 23 - September 22)

Педантичная Дева (23 августа - 22 сентября)

The men.
Teaching and secretive Virgos usually do not show their emotions, even if they have them. Thinking that they have a sense of humor, they like to tell tales from their lives, which then they themselves believe. Drinking Virgo can cry for the first love, which, naturally, was the strongest, real and certainly unhappy. Good luck that they do not usually become bosses. Woe to the poor people who fell into their subordination, for in the head of the Virgin the cash register, and they like to work only to exhaustion. Women, be attentive: the sweet-voiced Virgos know When and What to say to a woman, but this is only a manifestation of gallantry to the entire female sex in general, so do not flatter yourself. Further words usually do not go. And Virgos like to pretend to be just friends, if something does not work out.

Women.
Among the stubborn and self-confident Dev there are a lot of unmarried ladies, as it is difficult for them to find a person who meets their highest standards. The Virgo woman is a catastrophe: she, as a rule, is incorrect, and her beloved answer is an objection. The maniacal desire for cleanliness is adorned by the ever-present willingness to criticize you for your own good. However, Virgo can share the roof with loafers and losers, with which no decent Twins and for the table would not sit. Fantasies in sex for girls have enough for no more than three and a half pose, although you can persuade them for almost anything, thanks to the lack of complexes in this regard. Meet the Virgin at least in order to know yourself from the outside.

Smiling Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Улыбчивые Весы (23 сентября - 22 октября)

The men.
The phrase "the whole life of the theater, all the people in it actors" is said about Libra, who play even in complete solitude. Soft-voiced creatures of the Libra sign more easily cut through complex abstractions than life. When things go not as they want, they become petty and irritable. A woman who decided to stage a scene can consider the dispute won even before its beginning because of the disgust of the Libra men for scandals. Even if he is right, he will not prove it, but is likely to be retired, keeping his peace of mind. It's strange that in the female environment there is an opinion that the Libra men are a continuous hemorrhoids. In terms of friendship, they are pretty cool, although women know better.

Women.
Women-Libra are confident in their irresistibility. First it's a thrill, but then it gets boring ... Sexual sexual activity over time acts on Libya's nerves, because they really care about in life only applause and their own unthinkable beauty. The woman-Libra is not interested in men as such, they need them only as admired admirers and spectators. If the required is present, any of our nonsense will be heard and sins forgiven. The scales avoid unpleasant duties, considering it to be beneath their dignity, and require luxury. Do not try to order Libra, otherwise they become unpredictable and even dangerous. All their lives they are looking for a man who would be for them an ideal partner. I hope that this is you, colleague.

Treacherous Scorpios (October 23 - November 22)

Вероломные Скорпионы (23 октября - 22 ноября)

The men.
The rancorous and narcissistic Scorpionchik brutally fights his whole life, being active in sex until his very old age. Despising the snot of weaklings, he does not tolerate objections and excuses. He never cries for a vest. Knowing everything in advance, achieves success in any field, pushing whiners and hesitant kicks. Fidelity is an empty sound, although he always cares about his unhappy family. Money does not count, but he remembers perfectly how many times he forgot to be pleased with his gift. To the pleasant traits, you can also add stubbornness and inability to reckon with other people's opinions. In the middle of life Scorpio-muzhchin usually get noisy with their withered wives. Enemies, do not rely on forgiveness! Only death or failure will save you from the Evil Uncle Scorpion.

Women.
The insidious and mysterious Scorpio woman is depraved and despises the stingy gentlemen. In the bedroom is demanding, and lazy-men are difficult to meet its high standards. She does not alleviate with the loser who left her unsatisfied, and at one time (two or three) you are unlikely to get rid of it. It's funny that in the soul of Scorpionch is absolutely sure that other women in terms of sex are zero compared to her. Therefore, she is frantic when she is changed, unless she cares. She will unhesitatingly beat off a boyfriend or boyfriend who has lost a zealous friend. On any new personality, a type of reaction: "Who are you kholop will be?". If you like the thrill, chop the Scorpio. The rage does not give in to any description - it must be seen.

Romantic Sagittarius (November 23 - December 20)

Романтические Стрельцы (23 ноября - 20 декабря)

The men.
Violent men-Strelets are distinguished by a barracks sense of humor, terrible outbursts of irritation and amazing in our time medieval gallantry. Women praise the passionate lovers of Streltsy for their sensitivity and ability to kindle the lights of a big city in a local cot. They actively despise female jealousy and do not skip a single skirt - of any age, appearance and behavior. Sagittarians love to talk on high topics and adore black clothes. Drink rarely, mostly drink and eat, and in old age write a fictitious from cover to cover memoirs.

Women.
Woman-Sagittarius - Casanova in a skirt, carefree passing from one man to another. She is vain and considers herself to be a sexual gift to a man. Not ashamed, he will tell the lover about his predecessors, and, disappointed in him, will not hesitate to say about it. It's funny that men, as a rule, change it with terrible force. A Sagittarius woman is a dream of a romantic or a pervert, because she is what a man sees her, if she wants him, of course.

Ambitious boring Capricorn (December 21 - January 20)

Амбициозные зануды Козероги (21 декабря - 20 января)

The men.
The Capricorn man is ambitious, but lustful, petty, and incredibly boring. He rightfully considers all women to be lewd and actively prefers anal sex. Confident that he knows life 100 times better, he brains for hours, teaching what and how to do. He is indiscriminate in means, intolerant to frivolity, hates when he is denied and a real fan at work. Capricorn believes that the main goal of others is the desire to complicate his already difficult life. If he seriously offended someone, this worthless little man will be permanently struck from the lists. FOREVER. If you're lucky, you must marry by calculation. It's funny that with all their "virtues", Capricorns are great friends. Without fools.

Women.
The complexed Capricorn is cautious and externally always keeps itself in the hands, while the fire of her passions is burning inside. She is never bored with herself alone. You will not understand it because of the constant mood swings - either everything or nothing - this is such a simple choice. She is afraid to fall in love with death, looking forward to a real feeling, but often mistakes in the choice. "I must be myself!" - repeats himself the races chetlivaya and prudish Madame Capricorn. After numerous love relationships, she finally gets married, but she will not be completely satisfied. At times, you hate them and, under the fire of their good criticism, slowly go insane. It is believed that this is the only female sign that can not be persuaded at all.

Funny Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Смешной Водолей (21 января - 18 февраля)

The men.
Men of this sign are shy in the sexual perspective and usually expect women to take the first step. They say that in bed they do not know the elementary things, so that the young ladies have to strain and teach the vile-Aquarius. Their sexual fantasies do not climb into any gates, but the energy burns in masturbation, and if you're lucky, it's also in masturbation. Mistrustful depressive bores, they are eternally saddened by something, love the clothes of more women, do not strive too much for the tops of erotic art, they snore and groan in bed, believing that it should be so. It is interesting that the sense of humor in Aquarius dominates all the others, and then rescues them in such an unfortunate, at first glance, situation.

Women.
Aquarius women are malevolent, but quick-witted. Hate when strangers look at them as an object of sexual desire, but erotica is present for them everywhere, even in the way you give her a coat. If you are with her today for the first time, it's unlikely that the matter will end with a bed, but the best FRIEND for a man (almost anyone) just DOES NOT. If it's really bad, she will give and will not even ask who you are and where. Aquarians do not mind the masculine affair and can easily work as plumbers, chauffeurs, if need makes, but, strangely enough, do not like to manage, and especially to cook. They have spent their whole lives looking for a perfect companion and often marry late, and the nationality, skin color and religion of her chosen one can be stunning even for her. Of all his motley wardrobe, he prefers jeans.

Slippery Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Скользкие Рыбы (19 февраля - 20 марта)

The men.
The angry men of this sign do not like those who stick to them with advice. Because of the lack of firm convictions and secrecy, it is unclear to anyone how they really treat people and life (and are they even relevant?). Ordinary things (for example, tying shoelaces) seem to Pisces tormenting duties. Before you move your finger, they can immerse themselves in long reflections. It is believed that the nosy fish men are good gentlemen who can show a woman how beautiful she is.

Women.
Women-Fishes live in a world of illusions and incessant chatter, reconciling with the constant feeling that they have been betrayed. Они нежные сексуальные партнеры, но по чти всегда со <<скелетом в шкафу>>. Не врите Рыбинам - у них сумасшедшая интуиция. Окружающие - открытая книга, и у Рыб отличное чувство юмора по поводу их проблем. Равнодушны к алкоголю, но все равно пьют, хотя и мнительны, и вечно трясутся за свое здоровье.