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Drivers of driving instructors

Park on the right. On the right, I said !!! On right!!! Well, let's go to the left. Left!!!! Well, the park today we did not submit ...
Knife again forgot to lower! One more time you will not lower it - it will not rise any more !!! (Drove for about a kilometer)
Who do we miss? !!! Who do we miss? !!! We do not miss anyone !!! Come on, come on!
He should have conceded to us !!! Well, kharah in his direction lightly, let him know how to shy away!
Do you have a war with pedals or long sex ??
Where are you looking? !!! Where are you looking? !!! Stop, then look!
Turn right! We'll go another circle ... I did not consider a woman one. Do not drive so, it does not reach the subway, it will not have time ...
Let's go, green already !!! Let's go ... Neutral, ignition ... We're moving! He's yelling at you, by the way ...
Before you, this thing has not been broken, you're the first ...
What kind of clown is this ?! What's he worth? !!! Found where to stand!
Drive him! What does a car without a driver mean ?? Of course, without a driver! While you drove him, he had already gone out a long time !!!
(Passing a minor accident) That's about, here it is, your death! That's how you will be killed! Remember this picture! (3 times)
What sign passed? No, it's not forbidden to stop ... No, no restraint ... No, it's not forbidden to turn ... What? I already myself forgot what ...
Where have you stopped by? And for what?!!! Leave! Leave, I'm telling you! Where did you leave ??? Come back !!! It's too late! We arrived !!! Get started ...
Phrases of Russian commentators at the Olympics

- about Pavarotti: "the best theaters in the world are tearing it to pieces"
- on the differences between the Irish and Italian flags: "a more orange tide of the red strip"
- "skis invented an insane number of millennia ago"
- advocates Yoko Ono. Commentator with pathos: "It's a pity that John is not with us !!"
- on the organization of the ceremony: "the Italians have a wind in their heads, but there were even rehearsals"
- "who said that in Italy there are no problems? Yes as much as necessary!"
- "what would that all mean?"
- about the athlete from Senegal: "we wish him to cope with the distance and reach the finish line"
- "Holland are channels covered with ice!"
- "they have the Dragon Mountains there, I felt them with my own hands"
- "Italy and Russia are close to the characters and culture"
- "... and the snow country of Spain." A long pause ".. in the Pyrenees, it is sufficient"
- "Italians - masters waving flags professionally"
- "Russia also took an active part in the preparation of this discovery, one Russian gas as burned ..."
Extracts from applications to the insurance company

Your computer attributed to me one child. But I do not have any children. From your computer and even more so!
After that, the pursuer jumped into the water, and, despite repeated demands, did not come up any more.
A pedestrian who descended from the sidewalk silently disappeared under my car.
I never left the scene before the police arrived. I was always taken away ...
After that he lay with a nervous breakdown and a severe castration ...
When I try to drive into my garage, I hit a tree, which is usually not worth it ...
Who stole my wallet can not say, because none of the relatives were not there ....
Your arguments do not convince me! Look for someone to do something less, and you will not find it!
My son did not move a pedestrian, apparently, he was blown away by the wind ....
We have no income with the death of my mother-in-law, the last beast left the yard ....
I thought my window was open, but found that it was closed when I tried to stick my head out.
The truck passed back through my windshield and directly into my wife's face.
Assistant of a metal detector in the rank of sergeant
Slangs come and go, but the mate remains
The earth is not only the cradle of humanity, but also its grave
There are women not marrying, motivating it with the search for the perfect man. In most cases, such an ideal is a man who would want to marry her
Drink before losing cell phone
Life - like toilet paper: the same long, gray and all in the ass
For one beaten 15 sytok give
Throughout the world, the folk car << Volkswagen >>. In Russia this bus
It's good there, where we are!
The bladder worked like a clock - but, unfortunately, without an alarm clock
Hello! Remember, yesterday we called, our password was stolen from the Internet. You blocked us. So, now everything is fine, the attackers returned the password, unlock us please
Svin-head
In order to avoid death, you can give life
Most of all in a woman I appreciate 3 dignity: face and chest
Sadness is the third half of life
We are responsible for those who pour
Women - the best of mistakes of nature
I understood how the specialists in deep massage work - in other words, the sadists (R. Bandler)
The most reliable way to protect against unwanted pregnancy is a good blow to the eggs
Do not shit here! It smells strong! You come and go, but we stay here! Walls ... (real inscription in the university toilet)
It is better to work with love with love than hard to make love
Fate can revenge us for our graves, memory - for the fact that they were few
Love is like a dinner: a woman first serves cold, then hot ...
Long ago, when the Earth was flat, and jokes - round, Odysseus mocked the Cyclops with one-eyed beasts, bringing them glasses and binoculars
Often women blame men for what is rarely
Fairy tale: An old man came out to the shore of the blue sea, threw a grandmother into the sea and healed happily!
A person who does not read anything is more educated than someone who does not read anything but newspapers (Thomas Jefferson)
It turns out, in addition to obscene words there are also indecent!
How do you know that a blonde says stupidity? Her lips begin to move
Pechkin: "Why was I angry before? Because I did not have a bicycle. And now, when I and the scooter were stolen, I'll just kill you! >>
Marriage is the most expensive way of washing clothes free of charge
On the stock exchange, you can easily make a small fortune, if you bring a big one with you!
The thickness of the sausage is directly proportional to the welfare of the cutter.
The difference between literature and journalism is about the same as between love and prostitution.
The more I look in the mirror, the more I believe Darwin!
Marriage is a form of sexual perversion, in which there is a need to give years of life, health and money in exchange for disrespect and refusal to have sex.
Fortune smiles at those who do not notice Themis.
The harder the work, the easier it is to get a job
To wear glasses, it is not enough to be clever, still it is necessary to see badly.
Democracy is a beautiful interface to the fucking algorithm.
What is the difference between the female logic and the male: the male logic is correct, and the female is more interesting.
Do not repeat the mistakes of your parents using condoms.
Itself in hand floats only that does not sink.
Globe is a scarecrow of the earth
Sclerosis is a wonderful disease! Nothing hurts and every day is news ....
A smile is a curve that straightens out everything!
The side effect of treatment is .... recovery.
A politician is a subject whose conscience is in the contraceptive state.
To gnaw granite science to quench the thirst for knowledge? Strange ....
Interestingly it turns out - a person nine months trying to get out of the female body, and then all his life trying to climb back.
If you want to sit on your neck, spread your legs!
The inscription in the public toilet: "Wash off regardless of the goals and results achieved."
Money then ends and begins to end.
Life is a sexually transmitted disease, with a 100% fatal outcome.
If a person has nothing to be proud of, then he is proud of his mind, spiritual qualities and good taste.
Cooks hide their mistakes under sauce, builders under the facade, and the doctor and .... under the ground.
Drink should be in moderation, so as not to drink less.
An ugly woman is always difficult to make ends meet ....
To live is harmful - they die from this.
Either life is beautiful, or I'm a masochist ....
Love is not evil - it's a lot of goats.
Invested in a woman's whole soul, often turns out to be a deceived investor.
You are a little naive, if- sure that the best gift for a woman is a book.
- believe that the name Kitdrosser can be someone's pseudonym.
- When you meet a homeless person in the wine store, who gave money to the medicine five minutes ago, you think you have indicated yourself.
- Sincerely advise the owner of the 600th Mercedes to go in order to save on gas.
- hope that the zebra has at least one white band more.
- believe that you will notice, even if you do not do anything to anyone.
- sending dumpling "Riddle" to your mouth, think about something good.
- in every person you see a friend, but in each friend of a person.
- sure that you will never become a victim of scammers, because you are smart and educated.
- passing the street to the green light, you feel safe.
- think that traffic cops are checking your medicine cabinet because they are worried about your health.
- going to a meeting with old friends, you are hoping that you will drink a little, because everyone will go to work tomorrow.
- sure that out of two evils you always choose the lesser.
- believe that the woman will do everything right if she is properly explained.
- go to the polls because you are afraid that the wrong ones will come to power.
- Coming back to the doctor two days later, you think he remembers you.
- sure that in an extreme situation you will behave, at least as a hero.
- When the wife gives you a look at the fur clothing catalog, you think that she just wants to give you aesthetic pleasure.
- You think that with cockroaches you can agree in an amicable way.
- hope that everything said in the toast on your birthday is relevant to you.

Sayings of Swedish children

Nothing can be done about how you look - only Allah is responsible for this. (Hassan, 6 years old)
A gynecologist is one who does not know much about people's throat. (Erland, 6 years old)
Grandmothers usually have very large bras. They are so big that I have all the priest and both knees fit in in one. And in the other - my younger brother. (Katya, 7 years old)
Farmers always immediately rejoice when they smell like shit. (Ulle, 6 years old)
It is not necessary to marry in a church. You can also marry in a social office. And you can just live together without telling anyone. The main thing is to know it yourself. (Marie, 7 years old)
When you get married, you can not laugh. And you can not say no. (Catherine, 6 years old)
If you do not want to be married anymore, because the husband turned out to be more stupid than you thought, you can divorce as friends. (Marie, 7 years old)
It is not necessary to marry anyone. It is also not necessary to strip naked. (Lynn, 7 years old)
When they marry, they give a promise of silence. And if it does not hold back, then you need to divorce and then divide chandeliers and knives and usually you can not decide who gets the children. Those who can not decide, should contact the stockbroker. He decides that one will get the children and then the other will get a dining table. (Regina, 7 years old)
It's bad when pregnant women in the urine have an egg liqueur. (Tuva, 9 years old)
Old aunts like to look at naked uncles. They just do not want to admit it when they are asked. (Tone, 7 years old)
Women have a figure, and men have a briefcase. (Björn, 7 years old)
Women consist of egg pipes, and they think more. (Siri, 6 years old)
Men have several front parts on the body. (Julia, 6 years old)
A man never stops producing cells, but he also reaches a certain age. It's called the age of panic. (Steen, 9 years old)
Caesarean section is when the child is cut out through the emergency exit. (Martina, 6 years old)
"Do not rush, and then you will be in time." Alexander Swan
And why did not the Russian invent invent the Russians? After all, all his devices communicate with each other only on the mother.
The most contagious virus on the Internet is the Internet itself!
The most assimilated, high-calorie and healthy for health are free products.
Anesthesia is a means of protecting the surgeon from the advice of the patient during surgery.
Opponents of humanism - on the gallows!
As soon as I find you, you will be married to a widow.
All great people have not lived very much .... That's why I feel unwell ....
Greed is not a vice, but a necessity ....
Another day was a waste of makeup ....
The bullet is not a sparrow, you can not fly out.
Eternal youth is possible, only in the mausoleum.
We'll see - we'll see .... We'll live - we'll find out .... I'll survive - I'll take into account.
The motto of one-eyed: "It is better to be with one eye than with one hemisphere."
The difference between a child and an adult is that the child is looking for happiness, and the adult avoids misfortunes.
A wedding trip is the time from "I want" to "You must."
If you add a dark past with a bright future, you will get a gray present.
From hatred to love - just one glass!
I was combing left Faberge.
If only good things are said about you, then you are a deceased person.
Before you make a compliment to a girl, think of how to get rid of it later.
In life there is always a place for pofigu!
A weak age is when nothing happens except for temperature.
Married to the beautiful - it was clever
In a dispute, truth does not always triumph, more often it is made by heavier arguments.
Not everything is the wife that swears
Director - the same person as everyone else, only he does not know about it.
You can not like to sit and make friends.
Milk is more delicious if it's pure alcohol.
If you often burn out plugs, check what is poured into the bottles.
The main thing is not to cross the street to the next world!
A woman is like a calculator: adds problems, takes time, multiplies expenses and divides property.
Your friends are shortsighted only in assessing historical events, but you should ask them for 100 rubles on loan, as they amaze you with extraordinary farsightedness.
I'm absolutely sure that only fools can be absolutely sure of something.
Men are creepy egoists - they love only the woman in a woman, while women love men - in themselves.
In a woman, as in a fairy tale, there must be a good ending ....
It's better to seem weakly intelligent than to be very dead. Fly with greetings, come back clever.
Without a woman, like without hands. But with your hands - like a woman!
People in their mass assess friendly relations only in terms of benefits. Ovid
As long as you are happy, you have many friends; When times are clouded, you are left alone. Ovid
Penguins are obogazhevshiesya swallows.
You just need to want and any woman will be at your feet. The main thing - just to get into the jaw!
If you threw a lover yesterday - throw it the day before yesterday.
Men drink only in 3 cases .... When it's good - for joy, when it's bad - for grief, and when everything is normal - from boredom ....
Diplomacy is an art so nash @ t someone in the soul, so that in his mouth remained a slight taste of forest berries ....
There will be everything you can not ....
From enthusiasm to onanism one step ....
Whatever the scientist is working on, the result is always a weapon.
Kamikaze always ask for salary ahead.
The more a girl is late, the more she is a girl.
When the hammer is in hand, everything seems to be nails.
An autopsy showed that the corpse was asleep!
A woman who thinks that the way to the heart of a man lies through the stomach, marks too high.
If you only have a coffee table from the furniture, it does not mean that you are a journalist, it means that you are an alcoholic.
When God gave out brains, all the athletes were in training ....
If a woman quickly surrendered to a man, it is not his merit, but all the men she had before.
If you argue with an idiot - probably the same does he ....
The lowest prices are not with the dealer, but with the watchman.
I do not like it when they stick to me like flies. It's not how I feel myself.
The sight is also someone's point of view ....
Dance is the vertical expression of horizontal desire.
Spring .... Through the skirts break through the first knees ....
If you have sex, it does not mean that someone loves someone.
How much we ate at a time, only knows the toilet.
At the World Championship in Women's Logic with a large gap won the generator of random numbers.
Russian folk festival - freebie.
Half of our young people are concerned about .... the other half.
Fly with greetings, come back clever.
Without a woman, like without hands. But with your hands - like a woman!
People in their mass assess friendly relations only in terms of benefits. Ovid
As long as you are happy, you have many friends; When times are clouded, you are left alone. Ovid
Penguins are obogazhevshiesya swallows.
You just need to want and any woman will be at your feet. The main thing - just to get into the jaw!
If you threw a lover yesterday - throw it the day before yesterday.
Men drink only in 3 cases .... When it's good - for joy, when it's bad - for grief, and when everything is normal - from boredom ....
Diplomacy is an art so nash @ t someone in the soul, so that in his mouth remained a slight taste of forest berries ....
There will be everything you can not ....
From enthusiasm to onanism one step ....
Whatever the scientist is working on, the result is always a weapon.
Kamikaze always ask for salary ahead.
The more a girl is late, the more she is a girl.
When the hammer is in hand, everything seems to be nails.
An autopsy showed that the corpse was asleep!
A woman who thinks that the way to the heart of a man lies through the stomach, marks too high.
If you only have a coffee table from the furniture, it does not mean that you are a journalist, it means that you are an alcoholic.
When God gave out brains, all the athletes were in training ....
If a woman quickly surrendered to a man, it is not his merit, but all the men she had before.
If you argue with an idiot - probably the same does he ....
The lowest prices are not with the dealer, but with the watchman.
I do not like it when they stick to me like flies. It's not how I feel myself.
The sight is also someone's point of view ....
Dance is the vertical expression of horizontal desire.
Spring .... Through the skirts break through the first knees ....
If you have sex, it does not mean that someone loves someone.
How much we ate at a time, only knows the toilet.
At the World Championship in Women's Logic with a large gap won the generator of random numbers.
Russian folk festival - freebie.
Half of our young people are concerned about .... the other half.
Members of the German Olympic team, who went to the Winter Olympic Games in Turin, fully armed. In the baggage of each athlete - Go for Gold condoms, issued by a limited party.
The package is decorated with a picture on which the golden condom occupies the top step of the podium.
Focus, Condoms in luggage
Пролог - одна из наиболее распространённых русских старопечатных книг, сборник легенд, сказаний, житий святых, поучений, расположенных по дням церковного года, с 1 сентября по 31 августа. Prologue - one of the most common Russian early printed books, a collection of legends, stories, lives of saints, teachings, located on the days of the church year, from September 1 to August 31.
Дифирамб – собственно, культовое прозвище Диониса. Dithyramb - in fact, the cult name of Dionysus. Впоследствии слово стало обозначать торжественную песнь в честь бога или героя. Subsequently, the word began to designate a solemn song in honor of the god or hero. Она пелась под аккомпанемент главным образом флейты. She sang to the accompaniment of mostly flutes.
Иштар (перс. Истар, ивр. Ашторет, греч. Астарта, Анунит, Нана) — в аккадской мифологии (вавилоно-ассирийская мифология) богиня плодородия и плотской любви, войны и распри, астральное божество, олицетворение планеты Венера; Ishtar (Persian Istar, Hebrew Ashtoret, Greek Astarta, Anunit, Nana) - in Akkadian mythology (Babylonian-Assyrian mythology) the goddess of fertility and carnal love, war and strife, astral deity, personification of the planet Venus; ассоциируется день недели пятница. Associated day of the week Friday. Соответствует шумерской Инанне. It corresponds to the Sumerian Inanna. Иштар считалась покровительницей проституток. Ishtar was considered the patroness of prostitutes.
Материал из Википедии — свободной энциклопедии From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Белые голуби были посвящены Иштар. White doves were dedicated to Ishtar. Персы считали их носителями проказы. Persians considered them carriers of leprosy.
Американское законодательство запрещает дарить сенаторам подарки, стоимость которых превышает 50 долларов. American law prohibits giving senators gifts, the value of which exceeds $ 50.
Гигантский динозавр с челюстями, как у крокодила, признан самым большим из всех хищников, когда-либо живших на Земле. A giant dinosaur with jaws, like that of a crocodile, is recognized as the greatest of all predators that ever lived on Earth. Он отодвинул на третье место тиранозавра и на второе – гигантозавра, который раньше носил титул самого крупного хищника. He pushed the tyrannosaurus to the third place and the second - gigantosaurus, which used to be the largest predator.
Спинозавр, останки которого были обнаружены недавно, был длиной 56 футов (17,1 метра) и весил 8 тонн. The spinoza, whose remains were discovered recently, was 56 feet long (17.1 meters) and weighed 8 tons. На его фоне все остальные крупные плотоядные выглядели карликами. In its background, all the other large carnivores looked dwarfs.
Это страшное чудище обитало в болотах, трясинах и на топких берегах рек в Сахаре в меловом периоде – около 100 млн лет назад. This terrible monster lived in swamps, bogs and on the banks of rivers in the Sahara in the Cretaceous - about 100 million years ago. Исследование его останков выявило необычную для большого хищника особенность – большая часть его рациона состояла из рыбы. A study of his remains revealed an unusual feature for a large predator - most of his diet consisted of fish.
Озеро Виктория второе во величине пресноводное озеро в мире занимает площадь почти в 70 тысяч квадратных километров. Lake Victoria is the second largest freshwater lake in the world covering an area of ​​almost 70,000 square kilometers. Из него берет свое начало река Нил, кроме того, озеро знаменито своей уникальной фауной. The river Nile originates from it, in addition, the lake is famous for its unique fauna. В частности, в нем, как и 300 миллионов лет назад, обитает рыба ланг. In particular, in it, like 300 million years ago, the Lang fish lives. Она может вдыхать и задерживать воздух в жабрах, как в лёгких. She can inhale and hold the air in the gills, as in the lungs. Это редчайшая рыба является связующим звеном между обычными рыбами и наземными животными. This rare fish is the link between ordinary fish and land animals.
Среди племен, расселенных на Андаманских островах, есть люди-негрито, которые считаются самыми древними жителями планеты. Among the tribes settled on the Andaman Islands, there are Negro people who are considered the most ancient inhabitants of the planet. Негрито - обобщенное обозначение людей негритосского типа меланезийской расы, азиатских и австралийских пигмеев, их средний рост - менее 150 см. Негритос, что означает "маленькие негры", назвали их испанцы. Negrito is a generalized designation of people of the Negrito type of the Melanesian race, Asian and Australian pygmies, their average height is less than 150 cm. Negritos, which means "little Negroes", were named by the Spaniards.
В 2005 году компания AOL блокировала в среднем 1,5 миллиарда спамовых сообщений в сутки. In 2005, AOL blocked an average of 1.5 billion spam messages a day. Около 8 сообщений из 10 были расценены серверами компании как спам и отклонены. About 8 messages out of 10 were regarded by the company's servers as spam and rejected.
Первая программа на русском языке радио "Освобождение", вскоре получившее название радио "Свобода", вышла в эфир 1 марта 1953 года. The first program in Russian radio "Liberation", soon received the name Radio "Freedom", was aired on March 1, 1953. Вскоре начались передачи на многих языках народов СССР. Soon, broadcasts began in many languages ​​of the peoples of the USSR.
Ученые из французского национального института демографических исследований полагают, что в 2050 году население будет составлять 8-9 млрд человек. Scientists from the French National Institute of Demographic Studies believe that in 2050 the population will be 8-9 billion people.
Сардонический (от греч. sardonios - язвительный, презрительный), злобно-насмешливый, язвительный. Sardonic (from the Greek sardonios - sarcastic, contemptuous), maliciously mocking, sarcastic.
Итатси - японский колонок. Itatsi is a Japanese column. Распространение на Дальнем Востоке. Distribution in the Far East. Эндемик островов Хонсю, Сикоку и Кюсю. The endemic of the islands of Honshu, Shikoku and Kyushu. В ХIХ-ХХ вв. In the XIX-XX centuries. случайно проник на о.Хоккайдо. Accidentally entered Hokkaido Island. В 1932 г. намеренно интродуцирован на о.Сахалин (4), где впоследствии широко расселился на его южной половине. In 1932, he was deliberately introduced to Sakhalin Island (4), where he subsequently settled widely on his southern half. До середины 70-х годов являлся объектом охотничьего промысла. В настоящее время о. Сахалин является единственным местом на территории РФ, где, возможно, сохранились разрозненные очаги обитания итатси. Основной ареал находится в Японии.