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Pearls Driving Instructors

Park drive around on the right. On the right, I said !!! On right!!! Well, we drive around on the left. Left!!!! Well, the park today we did not submit ...
Handbrake again forgot to lower! One more time you will not lower - will not rise any more !!! (drove about a kilometer)
Who are we missing? !!! Who are we missing? !!! We do not miss anyone !!! Go ahead!
That he had to give us !!! Well, shy away in his direction lightly, let him know how to shy away !!!
Do you have a war with pedals or long sex ???
Where are you looking at? !!! Where are you looking at? !!! Stop then look !!!
Turn right! We will drive another circle ... I have not considered a woman alone. Do not drive so, she will not reach the subway, will not have time ...
Let's go, green already !!! Let's go ... Neutral, ignition ... Touch! This is he yelling at you, by the way ...
No one has broken this thing before you, you are the first ...
What kind of clown? !!! What is he standing here? !!! Found where to stand!
Throw him away !!! What does a car without a driver mean ??? Of course, without a driver !!! While you were driving him, he was already out for a long time !!!
(driving through a minor accident) Just about, here it is, your death! That's how you kill! Remember this picture! (3 times)
What sign drove? No, not stopping is prohibited ... No, not limiting ... No, not turning is forbidden ... Which one? I have already forgotten what ...
Where did you go? And for what?!!! Get out! Go, I tell you! Where did you go ??? Come back in !!! It's all late! We arrived !!! Plant ...

Phrases of Russian commentators at the Olympics

- about Pavarotti: "the best theaters in the world tear it to pieces"
- about the differences between the Irish and Italian flags: “a more orange tint of the red band”
- "skis invented an insane amount thousands of years ago"
- stands Yoko Ono. commentator with pathos: "it is a great pity that John is not with us !!"
- about organizing the ceremony: "Italians have a wind in their head, but there were even rehearsals"
- "Who said that in Italy there are no problems? Yes, as many as you like!"
- "what would it all mean?"
- about an athlete from Senegal: "we wish him to cope with the distance and reach the finish line"
- "Holland is the channels covered with ice!"
- "they have Drakensky Mountains there, I felt them with my own hands"
- "Italy and Russia are close characters and culture"
- "... and the snowy country of Spain." long pause "..in the Pyrenees, its sufficiently enough"
- "Italians - masters to wave flags professionally"
- "Russia also took an active part in the preparation of this discovery, how many Russian gas was burned ..."
Extracts from applications to the insurance company

Your computer has assigned me one child. But I have no children. From your computer and even more so!
After which the pursued one jumped into the water, and, despite repeated demands, he no longer emerged.
A pedestrian who had walked off the sidewalk silently disappeared beneath my car.
I never left the scene before the police arrived. I've always been taken away ...
After that, he lay with a nervous breakdown and a heavy emascula ...
When you try to drive into your garage, hit a tree, which usually is not worth it ...
Who stole my wallet I can not say, because none of the relatives were around ...
Your arguments do not convince me! Look for them for someone more downbeat, and then you will not find!
My son did not move a pedestrian, apparently, was blown away by the wind ....
We don’t have any income with the death of the mother-in-law. The last beast left the yard ....
I thought my window was open, but I found that it was closed when I tried to stick my head out.
The truck passed back through my windshield and right into my wife's face.
Assistant metal detector in the rank of sergeant
Slangs come and go, but mate remains
Earth is not only the cradle of humanity, but also its grave
There are women who do not marry, citing the search for the perfect man. In most cases, such an ideal is a man who would want to marry her
Get drunk before losing a cell phone
Life is like toilet paper: the same long, gray and all in the ass
For one broken 15 sytok give
Worldwide folk car << Volkswagen >>. In Russia, this is a bus
It’s good where we are!
The bladder worked like a clock - but, unfortunately, without an alarm clock
Hello! Remember, we called yesterday, our Internet password was stolen. You have blocked us. So, now everything is fine, the attackers returned the password, please unlock us
Pig head
In order to avoid death, you can give your life
Most of all in a woman I appreciate 3 virtues: face and chest
Decrepitude - the third half of life
We are responsible for those whom we pour
Women - the best of the mistakes of nature
I understood how deep massage specialists work - in other words, sadists (R. Bendler)
The most reliable way to protect against unwanted pregnancy is a good blow to the balls.
Do not shit here! Stinks hard! You come and go, and we stay here! Walls ... (real inscription in university toilet)
It is better to make love with love than to make love with difficulty
Fate can avenge us for our sins, the memory - for the fact that they were few
Love is like lunch: a woman first serves cold, then hot ...
A long time ago, when the Earth was flat and jokes were round, Odysseus mocked the Cyclops with one-eyed beasts, bringing them glasses and binoculars as a gift
Often women blame men for being rare
Fairy tale: An old man came to the shore of the blue sea, threw his grandmother into the sea and healed happily!
A person who does not read anything is more educated than someone who does not read anything except newspapers (Thomas Jefferson)
It turns out that in addition to swear words, there are also indecent ones!
How to find out what a blonde says stupid? Her lips begin to move

Pechkin: << Is that why I used to be angry? Because I did not have a bicycle. And now, when they have stolen a scooter from me, I’ll just kill you! >>
Marriage - the most expensive way to wash clothes
On the stock exchange you can easily make a small fortune if you bring a large one with you!
The thickness of the cut sausage is directly proportional to the welfare of the cutter.
The difference between literature and journalism is about the same as between love and prostitution.
The more often I look in the mirror, the more I believe Darwin!
Marriage is a form of sexual perversion in which one feels the need to give years of life, health and money in exchange for disrespect and rejection of sex.
Fortune smiles at those whom Themis does not notice.
The harder the job, the easier it is to get it
To wear glasses, it is not enough to be smart, you still have to see badly.
Democracy is a beautiful interface to the fucking algorithm.
What is the difference between female logic and male: male is correct, and female is more interesting.
Do not repeat the mistakes of your parents use condoms.
Itself in the hands of floating only that does not sink.
Globus - stuffed earth
Sclerosis is a wonderful disease! Nothing hurts every day - news ....
A smile is a curve that straightens everything up!
A side effect of treatment is .... recovery.
A politician is a subject whose conscience is in a contraceptive state.
Gnaw granite science to quench the thirst for knowledge? Strange ....
Interestingly it turns out - a man nine months trying to get out of the female body, and then all his life trying to climb back.
Do you want to sit on the neck - spread your legs!
The inscription in the public toilet: "Flush regardless of the goals and results achieved."
Money ends and begins to run out.
Life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatal outcome.
If a person has nothing to be proud of, then he is proud of his mind, spiritual qualities and good taste.
The cooks hide their mistakes under the sauce, the builders under the facade, and the doctor and .... underground.
It is necessary to drink in moderation so as not to drink less.
Ugly woman is always difficult to make ends meet ....
Life is bad - they die of it.
Whether life is beautiful, whether I am a masochist ....
Love is not evil - it is a lot of goats.
Having invested a whole soul into a woman, often turns out to be a deceived contributor.
You are a little naive if you are sure that the best gift for a woman is a book.
- consider that the surname Kitdrosser may be someone's pseudonym.
- when you meet a homeless person in a liquor store who gave money for medicine five minutes ago, you think you are mistaken.
- sincerely advise the owner of the 600th Mercedes to go in order to save on gas.
- hoping that the zebra has at least one white strip more.
- believe that you will be noticed, even if you do not do anything bad to anyone.
- Sending the Mystery Dumpling into your mouth thinks about something good.
- in every person you see a friend, and in every friend of a person.
- sure that you will never become a victim of fraudsters, because you are intelligent and educated.
- crossing the street to a green light, you feel safe.
- think that the traffic cops check your first aid kit because they care about your health.
- going to meet with old friends, you hope that you will drink a little, because everyone will have to go to work tomorrow.
- sure that of two evils you always choose the lesser.
- you believe that a woman will do everything right, if you explain everything to her properly.
- go to the polls, because you are afraid that those will not come to power.
- coming back to the doctor two days later, you think that he remembers you.
- sure that in an extreme situation you will behave at least as a hero.
- when the wife gives you a look at the catalog of fur clothes, you think that she just wants to give you aesthetic pleasure.
- consider that it is possible to agree with cockroaches in an amicable way.
- hope that everything said in toasts on your birthday is relevant to you.

Quotes from Swedish children


Nothing can be done about how you look - only Allah is responsible for this. (Hassan, 6 years old)
A gynecologist is one who doesn’t know much about people's throats. (Erland, 6 years old)
Grandmothers usually have very large bras. They are so big that I have all the butt and both knees fit in one. And in the other - my younger brother. (Katya, 7 years old)
Farmers always immediately rejoice when they smell like shit. (Olle, 6 years old)
Not necessarily marry in church. You can get married in a social office. And you can just live together without telling anyone. The main thing is to know it yourself. (Marie, 7 years old)
When you marry, you can not laugh. And you can not say "no." (Catherine, 6 years old)
If you don't want to be married anymore, because the husband turned out to be more stupid than you thought, then you can divorce you as friends. (Marie, 7 years old)
You don't have to marry anyone. Also not necessarily undress naked. (Lynn, 7 years old)
When they marry, they promise silence. And if it is not restrained, then you need to get a divorce and then divide the chandeliers and knives and usually can not decide who will get the children. Those who cannot decide should contact a stockbroker. He decides that one will get the children and then the other will get the dinner table. (Regina, 7 years old)
It is bad when pregnant women have urine liquor in their urine. (Tuva, 9 years old)
Old aunts love to look at naked uncles. They just do not want to admit it when asked. (Tone, 7 years old)
Women have a figure, and men have a briefcase. (Björn, 7 years old)
Women are made up of egg tubes, and they also think more. (Siri, 6 years old)
Men have several fronts on the body. (Yuli, 6 years old)
A man never ceases to produce cells, but he also reaches a certain age. It is called the age of panic. (Stina, 9 years old)
A caesarean section is when a child is cut out through an emergency exit. (Martina, 6 years old)
"Do not rush, and then you have time." Alexander Lebed
And why didn’t Russians invent a personal computer? After all, all his devices communicate with each other only on the mother.
The most infectious virus on the Internet is the Internet itself!
The most digestible, high-calorie and healthy products are free food.
Anesthesia is a means of protecting the surgeon against the advice of the patient during surgery.
Opponents of humanism - on the gallows!
As soon as I find you, you will be married to a widow.
All the great people lived a little .... So something is not feeling good for me ....
Greed is not a vice, but a necessity ....
Another day was a waste of makeup ....
The bullet is not a sparrow, you will not fly out.
Eternal youth is possible only in the mainstream.
We will live - we will see .... We will live - we will find out .... If I survive, I will consider.
The motto of the one-eyed: "It is better to be with one eye than with one hemisphere."
The difference between a child and an adult is that a child seeks happiness, and an adult avoids misfortunes.
Honeymoon is the time from "I want" to "You must."
If you add up a dark past with a bright future, you get a gray present.
From hate to love - just one glass!
My left Faberge was itching.
If only good things are said about you, then you are dead.
Before you give the girl a compliment, figure out how to get rid of her later.
In life there is always a place do not care!
Feeble age - when nothing rises except temperature.
Married a beautiful - turned out to be smart
In a dispute, truth does not always win, more often it is made by heavier arguments.
Not all the wife that swears
The director is the same person as everyone else, only he does not know about it.
You can not love to sit and make friends.
Milk is doubly delicious if it is pure alcohol.
If you often burn cork, check what is in the bottle.
The main thing - do not cross the street to the next world!
A woman is like a calculator: it adds problems, takes time, multiplies expenses and divides property.
Your friends are short-sighted only in assessing historical events, but it is worth asking them a loan of 100 rubles, as they amaze you with extraordinary long-sightedness.
I am absolutely sure that only fools can be absolutely sure of something.
Men are terrible egoists - they love only women in women, while women love men in themselves.
In a woman, like in a fairy tale, there should be a good end ....
It is better to appear weakly intelligent than to be very dead. Fly with greetings, come back smart.
Without a woman - as without hands. But with his hands - as with a woman!
People generally value friendly relations only in terms of benefits. Ovid
While you are happy, you have many friends; when times are darkened, you are left alone. Ovid
Penguins are swallows.
One has only to want and any woman will be at your feet. The main thing - just get to the jaw!
If a lover left you yesterday, leave him the day before yesterday.
Men drink only in 3 cases .... When it is good - from joy, when it is bad - from grief, and when everything is fine - from boredom ....
Diplomacy is an art like that when someone’s soul is in, so that the light taste of wild berries remains in his mouth ....
There will be everything that you can not ....
From enthusiasm to masturbation one step ....
Whatever a scientist does, the result is always a weapon.
Kamikaze always ask for a salary in advance.
The more the girl was late, the more she is a girl.
When in the hands of a hammer, everything around seems to be nails.
An autopsy revealed - the corpse was asleep!
A woman who thinks that the way to a man’s heart is through her stomach is aiming too high.
If you only have a coffee table in your house, it doesn’t mean that you are a journalist, it means that you are an alcoholic.
When God handed out brains, all the athletes were in training ....
If a woman quickly surrendered to a man, it is not his merit, but all the men who she had before.
If you argue with an idiot - probably the same thing he does ....
The lowest prices are not at the dealer, but at the caretaker.
I do not like when they stick to me like flies. Not so starting to feel.
The scope is also someone's point of view ....
Dance is a vertical expression of horizontal desire.
Spring .... First knees make their way through the skirts ....
If you have sex, it does not mean that someone loves someone.
How many we ate at a time, only knows the toilet.
At the World Championships in Women's Logic, the general number generator was defeated by a large margin.
Russian national holiday - freebie.
Half of our young people are concerned .... with the other half.
Fly with greetings, come back smart.

Without a woman - as without hands. But with his hands - as with a woman!

People generally value friendly relations only in terms of benefits. Ovid

While you are happy, you have many friends; when times are darkened, you are left alone. Ovid

Penguins are swallows.

One has only to want and any woman will be at your feet. The main thing - just get to the jaw!

If a lover left you yesterday, leave him the day before yesterday.

Men drink only in 3 cases .... When it is good - from joy, when it is bad - from grief, and when everything is fine - from boredom ....

Diplomacy is an art like that when someone’s soul is in, so that the light taste of wild berries remains in his mouth ....

There will be everything that you can not ....

From enthusiasm to masturbation one step ....

Whatever a scientist does, the result is always a weapon.

Kamikaze always ask for a salary in advance.

The more the girl was late, the more she is a girl.

When in the hands of a hammer, everything around seems to be nails.

An autopsy revealed - the corpse was asleep!

A woman who thinks that the way to a man’s heart is through her stomach is aiming too high.

If you only have a coffee table in your house, it doesn’t mean that you are a journalist, it means that you are an alcoholic.

When God handed out brains, all the athletes were in training ....

If a woman quickly surrendered to a man, it is not his merit, but all the men who she had before.

If you argue with an idiot - probably the same thing he does ....

The lowest prices are not at the dealer, but at the caretaker.

I do not like when they stick to me like flies. Not so starting to feel.

The scope is also someone's point of view ....

Dance is a vertical expression of horizontal desire.

Spring .... First knees make their way through the skirts ....

If you have sex, it does not mean that someone loves someone.

How many we ate at a time, only knows the toilet.

At the World Championships in Women's Logic, the general number generator was defeated by a large margin.

Russian national holiday - freebie.

Half of our young people are concerned .... with the other half.

Members of the German Olympic team that went to the Winter Olympics in Turin, fully armed. Each athlete’s baggage contains Go for Gold condoms, released in a limited edition.
The package is decorated with a picture on which a golden condom occupies the top step of the podium.
Focus, Condoms in baggage
Пролог - одна из наиболее распространённых русских старопечатных книг, сборник легенд, сказаний, житий святых, поучений, расположенных по дням церковного года, с 1 сентября по 31 августа. The prologue is one of the most common Russian old-printed books, a collection of legends, tales, lives of saints, teachings, arranged by the days of the church year, from September 1 to August 31.
Дифирамб – собственно, культовое прозвище Диониса. Dithyramb - in fact, the cult nickname of Dionysus. Впоследствии слово стало обозначать торжественную песнь в честь бога или героя. Subsequently, the word began to denote a solemn song in honor of a god or a hero. Она пелась под аккомпанемент главным образом флейты. She sang to the accompaniment of mostly flutes.
Иштар (перс. Истар, ивр. Ашторет, греч. Астарта, Анунит, Нана) — в аккадской мифологии (вавилоно-ассирийская мифология) богиня плодородия и плотской любви, войны и распри, астральное божество, олицетворение планеты Венера; Ishtar (Persian. Istar, Ivr. Ashtoret, Greek Astarte, Anunit, Nana) - in Akkadian mythology (Babylon-Assyrian mythology), the goddess of fertility and carnal love, war and strife, astral deity, the personification of the planet Venus; ассоциируется день недели пятница. the day of the week is Friday. Соответствует шумерской Инанне. Corresponds to the Sumerian Inanna. Иштар считалась покровительницей проституток. Ishtar was considered the patroness of prostitutes.
Материал из Википедии — свободной энциклопедии Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Белые голуби были посвящены Иштар. White doves were dedicated to Ishtar. Персы считали их носителями проказы. The Persians considered them carriers of leprosy.
Американское законодательство запрещает дарить сенаторам подарки, стоимость которых превышает 50 долларов. US law prohibits giving senators gifts worth more than $ 50.
Гигантский динозавр с челюстями, как у крокодила, признан самым большим из всех хищников, когда-либо живших на Земле. Giant dinosaur with jaws, like a crocodile, is recognized as the largest of all predators that have ever lived on Earth. Он отодвинул на третье место тиранозавра и на второе – гигантозавра, который раньше носил титул самого крупного хищника. He pushed the tyrannosaur into third place and into the second place - the gigantosaurus, who previously bore the title of the largest predator.
Спинозавр, останки которого были обнаружены недавно, был длиной 56 футов (17,1 метра) и весил 8 тонн. Spinosaurus, whose remains were discovered recently, was 56 feet long (17.1 meters) and weighed 8 tons. На его фоне все остальные крупные плотоядные выглядели карликами. Against it, all the other large carnivores looked like dwarfs.
Это страшное чудище обитало в болотах, трясинах и на топких берегах рек в Сахаре в меловом периоде – около 100 млн лет назад. This terrible monster lived in the swamps, bogs and muddy banks of the rivers in the Sahara in the Cretaceous period - about 100 million years ago. Исследование его останков выявило необычную для большого хищника особенность – большая часть его рациона состояла из рыбы. A study of his remains revealed an unusual feature for a large predator - most of its diet consisted of fish.
Озеро Виктория второе во величине пресноводное озеро в мире занимает площадь почти в 70 тысяч квадратных километров. Lake Victoria is the second largest freshwater lake in the world with an area of ​​almost 70 thousand square kilometers. Из него берет свое начало река Нил, кроме того, озеро знаменито своей уникальной фауной. From it originates the Nile River, in addition, the lake is famous for its unique fauna. В частности, в нем, как и 300 миллионов лет назад, обитает рыба ланг. In particular, it, like 300 million years ago, is inhabited by Lang fish. Она может вдыхать и задерживать воздух в жабрах, как в лёгких. It can inhale and trap air in the gills, as in the lungs. Это редчайшая рыба является связующим звеном между обычными рыбами и наземными животными. This rare fish is the link between ordinary fish and land animals.
Среди племен, расселенных на Андаманских островах, есть люди-негрито, которые считаются самыми древними жителями планеты. Among the tribes settled in the Andaman Islands, there are Negrito people who are considered the most ancient inhabitants of the planet. Негрито - обобщенное обозначение людей негритосского типа меланезийской расы, азиатских и австралийских пигмеев, их средний рост - менее 150 см. Негритос, что означает "маленькие негры", назвали их испанцы. Negrito is a generalized designation for people of the Negritos type of the Melanesian race, Asian and Australian pygmies, their average height is less than 150 cm. Negritos, which means "little negros", were called by the Spaniards.
В 2005 году компания AOL блокировала в среднем 1,5 миллиарда спамовых сообщений в сутки. In 2005, AOL blocked an average of 1.5 billion spam messages per day. Около 8 сообщений из 10 были расценены серверами компании как спам и отклонены. About 8 out of 10 messages were regarded by the company as spam and rejected.
Первая программа на русском языке радио "Освобождение", вскоре получившее название радио "Свобода", вышла в эфир 1 марта 1953 года. The first program in Russian, Radio Osvobozhdenie, which soon became known as Radio Liberty, was broadcast on March 1, 1953. Вскоре начались передачи на многих языках народов СССР. Soon began the transmission in many languages ​​of the peoples of the USSR.
Ученые из французского национального института демографических исследований полагают, что в 2050 году население будет составлять 8-9 млрд человек. Scientists from the French National Institute for Demographic Research believe that in 2050 the population will be 8-9 billion people.
Сардонический (от греч. sardonios - язвительный, презрительный), злобно-насмешливый, язвительный. Sardonic (from the Greek. Sardonios - stinging, scornful), maliciously mocking, stinging.
Итатси - японский колонок. Itatsi - Japanese speakers. Распространение на Дальнем Востоке. Distribution in the Far East. Эндемик островов Хонсю, Сикоку и Кюсю. Endemic islands of Honshu, Shikoku and Kyushu. В ХIХ-ХХ вв. In the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. случайно проник на о.Хоккайдо. accidentally entered Hokkaido. В 1932 г. намеренно интродуцирован на о.Сахалин (4), где впоследствии широко расселился на его южной половине. In 1932, it was intentionally introduced on Sakhalin Island (4), where it was subsequently widely settled in its southern half. До середины 70-х годов являлся объектом охотничьего промысла. Until the mid-70s was the object of hunting. В настоящее время о. Сахалин является единственным местом на территории РФ, где, возможно, сохранились разрозненные очаги обитания итатси. Основной ареал находится в Японии.