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DIARY OF THE FREEZING MOSKVICH (Oleg Kozyrev) 19.01.2006

DIARY OF THE FREEZING MOSKVICH (Oleg Kozyrev) 19.01.2006


The first day

It seems that this was the first weather forecast, which everyone believed. Too bright we were shown what was happening in Siberia. Frames freezing on the fly Siberians are more than convincing. Moscow froze in anticipation of cold weather.
The night passed in anticipation of the disaster. The dream was restless. Dreamed of snow, icicles and Chubais.
Categorically did not want to wake up and get up somewhere. Only my desire to help the country to double its GDP lifted me to my feet.
Wrapped everything I could. He went out into the street. He returned. Wrapped up something that he could not.
Long fiddled with intercom. Entrance categorically did not want to let the cold out. Finally, unable to resist, the metal door opened, letting in a crowd of stunned neighboring dogs.
The absence of people frightened the street.
I'm trying to figure out how best to go to the subway. If you run - the wind in your face will be. I'll die. If slowly - too I will die.
From the windows followed me with interest Muscovites. In the views read "it will come - it will not come?".
At the road stood the figures of voting Muscovites. Some of them, without waiting for a taxi, fell to the pavement with an outstretched hand.
It's strange. The road to the metro, which used to take twenty minutes, was reduced to two. Einstein was right.
The subway is unusually quiet. Nobody talks. Nobody reads. Everyone calculates how much they run to work. Some, having calculated, turn and go back home. Home closer.
At work, I did not find half of the office. It is a pity that I did not know not to come.
Cold is felt even on the Internet. The sites of Muscovites were covered with hoarfrost. Mail brakes. Strange, at low temperatures it should work faster.
Couriers from the office all escorted with tears. As in the last way. Some couriers do not return.
With horror I think that the prediction of Chubais about the power outage in the capital will come true. Remembering the summer mass outage, internally I'm afraid that the main power engineer will still hit the switch.
The road home is the only joy of the day. So I hurried home only after demobilization.
Muscovites on the streets are even less than in the morning.
Dogs were not allowed into the entrance for a long time. I had to pretend to be a dog.
Is tomorrow another day?

The second day (night-morning)

Yesterday I was preparing for the night. Sealed all the windows frames. After a little thought, I did the same with the glass.
An hour later he went out into the street, climbed up to the seventh floor and sealed the windows outside.
Evening program - weather forecast. I watched it on all TV channels.
The teapot behaves strangely. It cools down faster than it heats up. Water to boil and did not work.
I went to the Internet for the night. I look with envy at the entries in the diaries of the eastern Zaural people: "on the street minus 40, we advise not to go out in the same T-shirts, we recommend shirts with long sleeves", "a Muscovite comes to visit me, do not know what they wear in this weather? ". Here are the hardened people!
The night passed nervously. I could not sleep for a long time. Well, why today is not Friday? !!!
Again Chubais dreamed. This time he was tortured by Shoigu and Luzhkov. They required energy and heat. Chubais did not give up and did not give either the first or the second.
So, morning. After an hour of fighting with the intercom, I take a step outside. The dogs, never getting out of the entrance since yesterday, wailed miserably after me. They said goodbye.
Students, taught last day, move only three. And all the time changing who is in the middle. Sometimes, on the way to join them and join other students. Before the institutions huge balls come. However, those who are outside this ball, sometimes do not get to school.
A new regulatory color appeared at the intersections. Instead of yellow, red and green, blue appeared. Blue from the cold traffic police regulator.
By the way, cars behave strangely. There is a feeling that they too move around in groups.
Motorists are surprisingly polite and skip pedestrians on crossings. However, this is understandable. There are almost no pedestrians left in Moscow. This is clearly an endangered species.
Everyone is catching a taxi. I saw with my own eyes how a group of ten people succeeded. The taxi almost did not resist.
There is a new service in car dealerships. Two heaters in the cabin.
Ironically, the cold almost did not affect the living creatures of Moscow. There are a lot of birds on the trees. It seems that the frost did not hurt them. They calmly hang on their branches with their heads down.
I saw a sobbing girl at the bus stop. She felt sorry for herself.
Today I left the Society for the Protection of Animals. You give hats and fur coats! Warm and fluffy! Where is the familiar phone that breeds ferrets?
In the subway it was again crowded. But not because there are a lot of people. Just those that are, get lost in a heap.
Tea is a cool drink of the day. The recipe is simple. You pour a hot drink. You take him to the workplace. You're going to have a drink. The bell rang. You respond quickly to him. You're reaching for a mug. A refreshing drink is ready!
Everyone takes work at home. Somehow, even the Metro builders manage to do this.
It became easier to communicate. The first half of the day is talking about how cold it was on the way to work. The second half of the day will be talking about how it will be cold to go home.
What will happen next? We will see.
(to be continued)

Day two (day-evening)

Have you ever seen how the Kremlin cadets go to eternal fire? Slowly the leg rises ... lifts up somewhere up to the chin ... in an unthinkable way does not stop the movement and is raised even higher ... then falls, slowly, onto the pavement. Now imagine that you took their walk on the video, and then look at the fast-forward. Presented? Now increase the speed twice. This is how the guard sent the Kremlin today.
The whole of Moscow was covered with frost. White sidewalks, white trees, white students of the Russian University of Peoples' Friendship.
The second half of the day was spent in mental preparation for getting out of work. Strange, for the first time in my life I wanted to spend the night in the office.
Frame of the day: a frosty car, from which comes out covered with icicles driver.
I used to think it was hard to have a cockatoos or chameleons. Judging by the opinions of colleagues, it is most difficult to start a car these days.
Muscovites are crazy. Run along the roads, not paying attention to traffic signals and traffic intensity, choosing the shortest path to the metro.
And all have a similar gait: straight arms, straight legs, complete absence of the head. It is hidden somewhere under the hat and scarf between the shoulders.
Today no one went without hats. I saw only one. But it turned out to be a monument.
However, no. By the evening we realized that it was our courier.
In the eyes of everyone, an icy yearning.
All around abolish meetings, hikes, orders and deliveries. From morning till evening the workers are busy with the cancellation of work.
From the metro stations around the neighborhood, steam flows. Steam comes from everything that more or less glows. Steam is a clear signal for everyone that you can run there and get warm there. I saw the man who was letting off steam run by a woman who was not letting off steam. Judging by the screaming cries in the darkness of the alley, she overtook him.
In a number of offices, heating was cut down. We worked in clothes. So in the morning they were found.
The Siberians began collecting warm things for freezing Moscow. We are afraid, at all will not suffice.
Hooray! There was a rumor that the warming was soon promised! A couple of days at night instead of minus 37, they say, there will be minus 32! Lord, how we adore the warmth!
I think the cold is driving me crazy. Otherwise, how to explain the desire to warm your hands at the electronic clock face?
Oh no! The news said that the cold would be another week. What will be with us Muscovites?
At night I watched the movie "The Day After Tomorrow". Found many inconsistencies with reality. It is immediately understandable that the director has never seen real frosts.
If you are lucky and this winter will be left behind, I will definitely make myself a T-shirt or an inscription with the inscription: I am MOSKVICH. I WAS EXPERIENCED WINTER 2006!
Is it possible to get up tomorrow and go somewhere? Two tearful man's tears came to his eyes. And then covered with hoarfrost.
Second day behind.
(to be continued)
Freezing Moscow. The second day (day-evening).

The third day (morning-evening)

Today, by naivety, I came to Moscow suburbs. Hardly got out. There is such a thing going on !!! And the frost is not the worst. The most terrible thing is that there is everything far away. That is, absolutely up to everything. In Moscow, after all, how? Stall? Beside. Pharmacy? Beside. Metro? Well, too not so much. And in the suburbs, it turns out, everything is different.
Stall? - Through the park to the right.
Score? "Behind the stall."
Pharmacy? - It's closed.
Boiler room? - It's covered.
Metro? - In Moscow.
The train? "I just left."
Bus? "Not before the ferry."
There's even a neighbor's house far away. And then this frost.
From the cold everything bursts: bridges, wires, windows. And, of course, patience.
In the nearest park, squirrels get into flocks and attack seed vendors. Two of them were dragged right before my eyes.
The dynamics of prices for a taxi, depending on the temperature:
Minus ten - plus one hundred.
Minus twenty - plus two hundred.
Minus thirty, plus five hundred.
Mathematics, explain where the logic is?
The most difficult these days is the dogs. No, not stray. Strayers are just not bad settled in our entrances. It's about domestic. How would it be correct to say .... Let's just say, they stopped needing. And who would not have stopped in their place?
Imagine, I'm at you on an important matter. You whined. And then bam! On you, minus twenty! At first it seemed an accident. You zaskulili on the second day, when it's time for a new need. Get a minus thirty! By the third day you will ponder whether this need is so great. Just in case, quietly look so piteously into your eyes .... Minus thirty-five!
Have noticed, that now in the evenings there are almost no dogs who walk? Only three days, and all dogs developed an absolute reflex: you can eat, you can drink, but by need? No, thank you. Go yourself. Never!
It's terrible to look at those rare dogs that still have to carry out this procedure. At first a dog shows up from the entrance. She rests her legs a little, clings to the handle of the door with her tail (always thought that only monkeys are capable of doing this), she starts to get to where she's being led. Then there is a dogman, wrapped up, as the commander of an airliner in the movie "Crew". Both on a leash. It is for the second leash that the domestic and drag the dogman back after a walk.
In offices where there is no smoking room, all of them throw this harmful habit. The number of those who quit absolutely coincides with the number of those who tried to do it in the cold.
And yet the trend of the day - Moscow is adapting. And it's not even that someone grew fur (although there were such cases), and not because they are accustomed to the cold. Rather, we learned to live with him. Inconspicuously in the everyday life of Muscovites, habits that had not existed before.
We have learned to appreciate and love others more. All readily concede each other's seats. Especially in the morning, when the seats are still cold.
The bosses have become kind. Together with the subordinates drilled polynyas in mugs with former boiling water.
We began to respect the work of couriers. Like firefighters in New York, these previously unobtrusive (because they move faster than the human eye can see), the guys became heroes. With them, everyone wants to be photographed. Everyone wants to be like them. Of course, not so similar when the couriers from the frost come, but internally.
Every decent office now hangs boards on which it is noted how many outs the courier has made. Each output is marked with a separate asterisk. It does not dispense with black frames around some names. But they are remembered. And they love. And in the spring, when the snow comes down, they will be found. And they will be called something by their name. Maybe even those most cracked bridges.
Frozen ATMs have become fairer. Equally serve both a millionaire and a poor man. Money is not given to either the first or the second.
We learned not to call a mobile phone on the street. If you hear "I will call back" on your call, this does not mean that the subscriber is busy. This means that the subscriber is looking for the nearest pharmacy store-library. And if he finds, he will answer you.
And only one clouded us the third day. In most houses, the food ran out. Question of the day: who will go to the store?
We'll see.
(to be continued)
Freezing Moscow. The day is the third (morning-evening).

Day four (night-morning-evening)

In comedies quite often there is such an episode. Heroes fall into some terrible situation, after which they say that it can not be worse. And in a second they just get worse. So joked today with Moscow. A snowstorm came to the capital.
In the beginning, it was even warmer. And some naive Muscovites managed to reach the shops. Then they got caught! I witnessed how a group of grown-up men poured by the wind somewhere in the direction of the Canadian border on a carefully guarded track by the wipers of the ice track. The girls flew even farther.
By the way, a girl in the wind is an unforgettable sight. If the wind blows in her back, then there is a feeling that the girl is just fingering her legs. And then more for the mind than for good. And if she manages to go against the wind .... Although no, I have not seen this before.
All products instantly moved to the frozen section. One of my friends, not hoping to drag oranges to the house, decided at all costs to deliver his beloved wife at least one fruit. He warmed it to the very end, hoping that at least not through and through he would freeze. Indeed, the orange froze not to the end. The seeds were not cold.
The inscription <HOT BREAD> acquired a different meaning. Muscovites are no longer looking for fresh bread. They are asking:
"What kind of bread does your bread have?"
If above zero - this is considered hot.
Always thought that the frost-red nose, this is a character whose nose is red. Now the true meaning of the expression has reached me. He really has - the frost. A red nose - it's just me.
I must say, we all became very sensitive to the Russian winter and our own history. Previously, for example, did not understand the French in Napoleon's time. Why did they have to flee Moscow? Now he felt not only the French, but also our army, which went the same route after the fugitives to the far end of the earth.
Stops for transport were specially designed for our weather. Designers took everything into account. In case of heat, they made glass roofs. In case of wind - openings in the walls. In case of frost - iron seats.
Every Muscovite now knows how to open the door with his elbows. Metal knobs can not be touched otherwise.
Couriers are a thing of the past. With a blizzard came to the fore His Majesty the Janitor. It depends on him how far we will pass along the ice sidewalk. He controls the entrances and exits from the entrances. He is finally the one who will first dig out the couriers. If he wants to.
There is a strong feeling that all Muscovites are preparing for some wild trials. That heat in summer, then in winter it's freezing. I would not be surprised if it rains in the fall, and in the spring the snow falls off massively.
But it is not all that bad. There are also good moments. For example, now is not at all terrible bird flu. They say that when he found out about what frosts we had, he decided not to go north. Viruses also need to live.
What is the difference between a sleeping Muscovite from going to frost to work? Exceptionally the presence of a blanket. However, maybe some people added slippers. And spend the night.
I begin to understand the brown bears. Sleeping all winter is my dream.
Frost taught us to speak the same language with each other. And in St. Petersburg, and in Moscow, and in Tomsk, and in Yekaterinburg, and in Kiev, and in Odessa, and in the suburbs, and in Tyumen, and in Riga, and in Tallinn, and in Vilnius, and in Minsk - everywhere people say the same words when they hear the forecast for the next week.
Ahead is not an easy task. How to spend two days off so that you can rest and survive?
Soon it will be clear.
(to be continued)
Freezing Moscow. Day four (night-morning-evening).

Day five. The weekend at the zoo

I decided to go to the zoo. For the time of frosts there was a free entrance. In my opinion, the animals would prefer a free way out for themselves.
What I always liked about the Moscow zoo is the ease of viewing in the enclosures. The aviary is beautiful. But the animal can not be found.
I understand, if I can not see the lynx. But when I can not find an elephant, I'm a little lost. They say that for many years the staff of the zoo hides a hippo somewhere.
All the animals changed summer clothes for winter coats. One monkey managed to steal from the visitor a winter hat.
Flamingos used to stand with one leg. Now they stand, clutching both.
I knew that! The winter bears the polar bears! Calm and motionless lie on the snow. But why is it written on the plate that these are koalas?
Many birds flew to the south. The example of ostriches was contagious.
Having seen how much a ticket costs in the warm pavilion of exotic animals, I begin to understand why the entrance was made free of charge.
Frame of the day: a chameleon who wanted to catch a fly sitting on an iron frame of frozen glass.
Parrots crowded in the corner of the cage and, it seems, digged a tunnel. Probably, they also wanted to go south. They did not know that on the other hand a boa constricted them. He wanted to parrots.
Visitors look at the crocodiles. Crocodiles look at visitors. There is a strong feeling that reptiles look more interesting, since we at least move.
Sparrows manage to live in every enclosure. I saw a pair of sparrows, even in an aquarium.
The route in the zoo is made up so that you always miss some animal. But by empty cells you walk constantly!
Raccoons again rinsed something. Someone from the zoo's workers obviously lacks a washing machine.
A children's zoo is a great idea! Where else can the children see who the gray wolf will eat?
Animals are not at all afraid of people. And camels, deer, and horses all want people to come closer to them. Especially the tiger dreams about it.
Have you noticed that only animals fulfill the request - <DO NOT FEED>? People do not understand this inscription.
In the aquarium, the electric rays slid sideways, which were sometimes carried away to recharge the batteries of the zoopark machines.
In the cold, the appetite awakens. But in the zoo cafes, he quickly falls asleep.
I'm afraid there is a local shawarma. Too long I have not seen a hippopotamus.
But that's all. A policeman climbed out of the den and returned to the post. Good sign. Probably, frosts leave.
We will hope for this.
(completion soon)
Freezing Moscow. Day five (the weekend at the zoo).

Day six. Winter!

How beautiful the capital was today! How I miss Moscow air! I would go straight to the central highway and breathe, breathe and breathe!
What a delight - to go on the road, trying to see something behind the smoke escaping from the rattling mechanism ahead! What a blessing - to enjoy the white snow before the dogs realize that the street was warmer! What a joy - to be a pedestrian who goes slowly and who is no longer fined for speeding!
The happiest people are glasses. We finally see where we're going. Until the first entrance to the store or the subway, of course.
About the entrances. In Moscow, the best in the world entrance! Marble. Expensive. Beauty. How pleasantly, with your arms and legs spread out, you move around this snow-covered stone, trying to get to something less expensive but reliable.
Sellers do not care anymore, buy you something in the store, or do not buy. For them it is important only one thing - whether you close the door behind you.
Motorists try to justify their name in every possible way. Myself froze, but the car will be warmed! If they could, they would certainly take iron friends for the night to their homes.
Fierce frost turns into the usual winter. Muscovites stretched out into the street. Cultural life came to life. The spectator returned to the theaters. A little later, actors will return there.
Over the sellers of ice cream, no one laughs.
Couriers look longingly at the thermometer. The higher the degree, the farther they will be sent.
Peddlers of hot pizza are happy that they will no longer have to build bonfires at the entrance to the customer. Pizza will be hot without it.
Blue sportsmen and red sportswomen poured out onto the tracks. Well, what kind of specialist in a healthy way of life has the thought of running along the Moscow roads raged?
On the streets there were children again. And I already began to forget how they look: three scarves, three handkerchiefs, in the middle - a spout.
That's who the joy was. Well, why do children cancel the occupation, and the parents who need to attach these children somewhere, no? It's like winning a lottery, but do not know where the winnings are.
From the south, birds began to return. The penguin column has just moved to the Moscow River.
Giant icicles on the roofs are waiting for a thaw, to habitually rush to meet the Muscovites.
The first fishermen came to the ice. True, for the time being they are only sitting on covered skating rinks.
In general, the city returns to normal its crazy life.
And this is very good!
(tomorrow - the conclusion)
Freezing Moscow. Day six (Winter!).