DIARY OF THE FREEZING MOSKVICH (Oleg Kozyrev) 01/19/2006
DIARY OF THE FREEZING MOSKVICH (Oleg Kozyrev) 01/19/2006
It seems that this was the first weather forecast that everyone believed. We were shown too clearly what is happening in Siberia. The shots of Siberians freezing on the fly are more than convincing. Moscow froze in anticipation of the cold.
The night passed in anticipation of a disaster. The dream was restless. Dreams of snow, icicles and Chubais.
Strongly did not want to wake up and get up somewhere. It was only the desire to help the country to double the GDP that brought me to my feet.
Wound on all that I could. Out on the street. Returned. Wound that I could not.
Long fumbled with the intercom. Porch categorically did not want to let the cold outside. Finally, unable to stand, the metal door opened, letting in a crowd of crazed nearby dogs.
Outside, scared by the lack of people.
Trying to understand how best to go to the subway. If running - the wind in the face will be. Okay. If it is slow, I’m also overpowered.
Muscovites watched me with interest from the windows. In the views read "comes - will not reach?".
There were figures of Muscovites voting by the road. Some of them, without waiting for a taxi, fell on the pavement with an outstretched hand.
Strange. The road to the subway, which previously took twenty minutes, was reduced to two. Einstein was right.
The subway is unusually quiet. Nobody talks. No one reads. All calculate how much they run to work. Some, having calculated, turn and go back, home. Home closer.
At work, did not find half of the office. It is a pity that I did not guess not to come.
The cold is felt even on the Internet. Sites Muscovites were covered with frost. Mail slows down. Strange, at low temperatures it should work faster.
Couriers from the office all escorted with tears. Like the last journey. Some couriers do not return.
With horror, I think that Chubais's prediction about the power outage in the capital will come true. Recalling the summer mass outage, I am internally afraid that the main power engineer will still touch the switch.
The road home is the only joy of the day. So I hurried home only after demobilization.
Muscovites on the streets even less than in the morning.
The dogs were not allowed in the entrance for a long time. I had to pretend to be a dog.
Is there another day tomorrow?
Second day (night-morning)
Yesterday the whole evening was preparing for the night. I stuck all the window frames. A little thought, did the same with glass.
An hour later, I went outside, climbed to the seventh floor, and sealed the windows outside.
The program of the evening - the weather forecast. I watched it on all TV channels.
The teapot is behaving strangely. It cools faster than it heats up. The water did not boil.
At night I went to the Internet. I look with envy at the diary entries of Eastern Zauralts: “on the street minus 40, we advise you not to go out in the same T-shirts, we recommend long-sleeved shirts”, “a Muscovite comes to visit me, do not know what they wear in this weather? ". Here is the seasoned people!
The night passed nervously. Long could not sleep. Why today is not Friday? !!!
Chubais dreamed again. This time he was tortured by Shoigu and Luzhkov. Required energy and heat. Chubais did not give up and did not give either the first or the second.
So morning. After an hour of struggle with the intercom, I take a step outside. The dogs, who had not come out of the door since yesterday, howled after me sadly. They said goodbye.
Students taught last day, move exclusively in three. And all the time changing, who in the middle. Sometimes, on the road they are joined by other students. Huge balls come to the institutions. However, those who are outside this ball sometimes do not get to school.
At the crossroads, a new regulatory color has appeared. Instead of yellow, red and green, blue appeared. Blue from the cold traffic policeman.
By the way, the cars behave strangely. There is a feeling that they also move in small groups.
Motorists are surprisingly polite and pass pedestrians at crossings. However, this is understandable. Pedestrians in Moscow is almost gone. This is clearly an endangered species.
Everyone catches a taxi. With my own eyes I saw how a group of ten people succeeded. Taxi almost did not resist.
In car dealerships a new service. Two heaters in the salon.
Strangely enough, the cold practically did not affect the living creatures of Moscow. There are many birds in the trees. It seems that the frost did not hurt them. They quietly hang on the branches with their heads down.
I saw a sobbing girl at the bus stop. She felt sorry for freezing herself.
Today I came out of the animal welfare society. Give hats and fur coats! Warm and fluffy! Where is the phone of a friend who breeds ferrets?
In the subway it became close again. But not because a lot of people. Just the ones that are there are lumped together.
Tea is a refreshing drink of the day. The recipe is simple. Pour a hot drink. Carry it to the workplace. Going to drink. The bell rings. You quickly respond to it. Reaching for the mug. Cool drink is ready!
Everyone takes work at home. Somehow even metro-builders manage to do this.
It became easier to communicate. The first half of the day talking about how cold it was on the way to work. The second half of the day we will talk about how cold it will be to go home.
What will happen next? We'll see.
(to be continued)
Have you ever seen how Kremlin cadets go to the eternal flame? Slowly the leg rises ... lifts somewhere right up to the chin ... in an unthinkable way does not stop movement and rises even higher ... then it drops, without hurrying, onto the paving stones. Now imagine that you filmed this walk of their video, and then you look at fast-forwarding. Submitted? Now double the speed. That’s how the Kremlin’s guard now alternated.
All of Moscow was covered with rime. White sidewalks, white trees, white students of the Peoples' Friendship University of Russia.
The second half of the day was spent in mental preparation for leaving work. Strange, for the first time in my life I wanted to spend the night in the office.
Shot of the day: a frosty car, from which a icicle-covered driver emerges.
I used to think it was hard to get a cockatoo or a chameleon. Judging by the reviews of colleagues, the most difficult these days to start the car.
Muscovites are crazy. They run along the roads, not paying attention to traffic lights and traffic, choosing the shortest way to the subway.
And everyone has a similar gait: straight arms, straight legs, total absence of the head. It is hidden somewhere under the cap and scarf between the shoulders.
Today, no one went without hats. Saw only one. But it turned out to be a monument.
But no. By evening, we realized that it was our courier.
In the eyes of everyone, there is an icy longing.
All around cancel meetings, trips, orders and deliveries. From morning to evening, workers are busy exclusively with the cancellation of work.
From metro stations in the neighborhood spread steam. Steam comes from everything that is more or less warm. Steam is a clear signal to everyone that you can run there and warm up there. I saw a woman who was not letting off steam running after a man who let out steam. Judging by the heart-rending cries in the darkness of the alley, she overtook him.
In a number of offices cut down the heating. Worked in clothes. So in the morning they were found.
Siberians began collecting warm clothes for freezing Moscow. We are afraid, not enough for everyone.
Hooray! There was a rumor that they were soon promising warming! In a couple of days at night, instead of minus 37, they say it will be minus 32! Lord, how we adore the heat!
I think the cold is driving me crazy. How else to explain the desire to warm the hands of the electronic watch face?
Oh no! The news said that the cold will be another week. What will happen to us - Muscovites?
At night I watched the film “The Day After Tomorrow”. Found a lot of inconsistencies with reality. It is immediately clear that the director has never seen real frosts.
If you are lucky and this winter is left behind, I will definitely make myself a T-shirt or a badge with the inscription: I am MOSCOW. I survived the winter of 2006!
Is it possible to get up tomorrow and go somewhere? Two mean male tears came to my eyes. And then he was covered with frost.
The second day is over.
(to be continued)
Freezing Moscow. Day two (day-evening).
Today, naively drove to the suburbs. Barely got out. There it is going on !!! And the frost is not the worst. The worst thing is that there is far from everything. That is absolutely far from it. In Moscow, how? Stall? Beside. Pharmacy? Beside. Underground? Well, also not so much. And in the Moscow region, it turns out, everything is different.
Stall? - Through the park to the right.
Score? - Behind the stall.
Pharmacy? - Closed.
Boiler room? - Covered up.
Underground? - In Moscow.
Train? - Just left.
Bus? “Not before the ferry.”
There even to the next house far. And then there's the frost.
Everything bursts from the cold: bridges, wires, windows. And, of course, patience.
In the nearest park, squirrels gather in flocks and attack the sellers of seeds. Two were dragged right before my eyes.
Changes in taxi prices depending on temperature:
Minus ten - plus one hundred.
Minus twenty - plus two hundred.
Minus thirty - plus five hundred.
Mathematics, explain where the logic is?
It is heaviest on these days for dogs. No, not stray. Vagrants just settled down well in our entrances. It's about homework. How would it be correct to say ... Let's just say they stopped needing. And who would not stop in their place?
Imagine being impatient with you on an important matter. You whined. And then bang! On you, minus twenty! At first it seemed like an accident. You whined on the second day when it was time for a new need. Get minus thirty! By the third day, you will wonder if this need is so great. Just in case, so quietly piteously look into the eyes .... Minus thirty five!
Have you noticed that now in the evenings there are almost no dogs being walked? Only three days, and all dogs have developed an absolute reflex: you can eat, you can drink, but according to need? No, thanks. Go yourself. Never!
It is terrible to look at those rare dog lovers who still have to carry out this procedure. At first, a dog shows up from the entrance. She rests her feet a little, clings to the door handle with her tail (she always thought that only monkeys are capable of it), she begins to reach where she is led. Then a dogman appears, wrapped up like an airliner commander in the movie “Crew”. Both on a leash. It is for the second leash home and drag the dogman back after a walk.
In offices where there is no smoking room, all the polls throw this bad habit. The number of those who quit absolutely coincides with the number of those who tried to do it in the cold.
Yet the trend of the day - Moscow is adapting. And it's not even about the fact that someone grew up fur (although there were such cases), and not that they got used to the cold. Rather, we learned to live with him. The habits that had not existed before appeared unnoticed in the everyday life of the Muscovites.
We have learned to value and love others more. Everyone readily gives way to each other places. Especially in the morning when the seats are still cold.
The chiefs became good. Together with his subordinates they drill holes in circles with former boiling water.
We began to respect the work of couriers. Like the firefighters in New York, these previously imperceptible (as they move faster than the human eye can discern) the guys became heroes. Everyone wants to take a picture with them. Everyone wants to be like them. Of course, not so similar when couriers come from the cold, but internally.
Every decent office now has boards on which it is noted how many outputs the courier has made. Each exit is marked with a separate asterisk. Does not do without black frames around some names. But they are remembered. And love. And in the spring, when the snow melts, they will surely be found. And they will call something by their name. Maybe even those cracked bridges.
Frozen ATMs have become fairer. The millionaire and the poor are equally served. No money is given to either the first or second.
We learned not to call on a mobile phone in the street. If you hear “I will call back” on your call, this does not mean that the subscriber is busy. This means that the subscriber is looking for the nearest pharmacy store library. And if he does, he will answer you for sure.
And only one darkened us the third day. Most homes run out of food. Question of the day: who will go to the store?
We will see.
(to be continued)
Freezing Moscow. Day three (morning-evening).
Fourth day (night-morning-evening)
In comedies, such an episode is quite common. Heroes fall into some terrible situation, after which they say that it cannot be worse. And after a second they just get worse. So they joked today with Moscow. A blizzard came to the capital.
At first, it seemed to get warmer. And some naive Muscovites managed to walk to the shops. It was then that they got caught! I witnessed how a group of adult, dude men, as if on an icy track by the wipers, were carried away by the wind somewhere in the direction of the Canadian border. The girls flew even further.
By the way, the girl in the wind is an unforgettable sight. If the wind blows in her back, then there is a feeling that the girl is just kicking. And that is more for sight than for use. And if she manages to go against the wind .... But no, I have not seen that yet.
All products instantly went to the frozen section. One of my friends, not hoping to drag oranges to the house, decided by all means to deliver at least one fruit to his beloved wife. He warmed it to the very end, hoping that at least it would not freeze through. Indeed, the orange froze is not completely. Sunflower seeds are not touched.
The inscription "HOT BREAD" acquired a different meaning. Muscovites are no longer looking for fresh bread. They are asking:
- Do you have bread what temperature?
If above zero, this is considered hot.
I always thought that frost-red nose, this is such a character, whose nose is red. Now I have reached the true meaning of the expression. He really - frost. And the red nose is just me.
It must be said, we all began to feel very subtly the Russian winter and our own history. Previously, for example, did not understand the French in the time of Napoleon. Why did they have to flee from Moscow? Now I felt not only the French, but also our army, which went along the same route after the fugitives in distant lands.
Stops for transport specially designed for our weather. Designers have taken into account everything. In case of heat, they made glass roofs. In case of wind - openings in the walls. In case of frost - iron seats.
Every Muscovite now knows how to open the door with his elbows. For metal pens do not dare to touch.
Couriers are gone. With a blizzard came to the fore His Majesty the Janitor. It depends on him how far we will drive along the icy sidewalk. He controls the entrances and exits of the entrances. He is finally the one who first digs up couriers. If he wants.
There is a persistent feeling that all Muscovites are being prepared for some wild trials. That heat in the summer, then in the winter frost. I would not be surprised if there will be rain in the fall, and snow will come down massively in the spring.
But it is not all that bad. There are good moments. For example, now bird flu is not at all terrible. They say that when he learned about the frosts we have, he decided not to go north. Viruses also need to live.
What is the difference between sleeping Muscovite and going to work in the cold? Exclusively by the presence of a blanket. However, perhaps some have added sneakers. So we spend the night.
Begin to understand brown bears. Sleeping all winter is my dream.
Frost taught us to speak the same language with each other. And in St. Petersburg, and in Moscow, and in Tomsk, and in Yekaterinburg, and in Kiev, and in Odessa, and in the Moscow region, and in Tyumen, and in Riga, and in Tallinn, and in Vilnius, and in Minsk - everywhere people say the same words when they hear the forecast for the next week.
Ahead is not an easy task. How to spend two days off so that both relax and survive?
It will be clear soon.
(to be continued)
Freezing Moscow. Fourth day (night-morning-evening).
Day five. Weekend at the zoo
I decided to go to the zoo. At the time of frost there made free admission. In my opinion, animals would prefer for themselves a free exit.
What I always liked about the Moscow zoo was the convenience of viewing in the aviaries. Aviaries can be seen perfectly. But the animal will not find.
I also understand if I cannot see the trot. But when I can not find an elephant, I get a little lost. They say that for many years the staff of the zoo somewhere hiding a hippo.
All the animals changed their summer clothes for winter coats. One monkey managed to steal from the visitor also a winter hat.
The flamingo used to stand with one leg up. Now stand, tucked both.
I knew it! Polar bears do not care about winter! Calmly and still lie in the snow. But why is it written on the plate that these are koalas?
Many birds flew south. An example of ostriches was contagious.
Seeing how much a ticket costs to a warm pavilion of exotic animals, I begin to understand why the entrance was made free.
Shot of the day: a chameleon who wanted to catch a fly sitting on an iron frame of frozen glass.
The parrots crowded in the corner of the cage and seemed to be digging a tunnel. They probably also wanted to go south. They did not know that on the other side a boa had broken through to them. He wanted to parrots.
Visitors look at the crocodiles. Crocodiles are looking at visitors. There is a strong feeling that the reptiles look more interesting, as we at least move.
Sparrows manage to live in each aviary. I saw a couple of sparrows even in an aquarium.
The route at the zoo is designed so that you must have missed any animal. But by the empty cells you walk constantly!
Raccoons again rinsed something. Someone from the workers of the zoo is clearly missing a washing machine.
Children's Zoo is a great idea! Where else can the kids see who the gray wolf will eat?
Animals are not afraid of people at all. And camels, deer, and horses - everyone wants people to come closer to them. Especially the tiger dreams about it.
Have you noticed that only animals fulfill the request - <DO NOT FEED>? People do not understand this inscription.
In the aquarium, electric ramps measuredly floated, which were sometimes carried away to recharge the batteries of zoo machines.
In the cold wakes appetite. But in the zoo cafes, he quickly falls asleep.
I am afraid there is a local shawarma. For too long, I have not seen the hippo.
But that's all. A policeman got out of the den and returned to the post. A good omen. Likely, frosts leave.
Let's hope so.
Freezing Moscow. Day five (Weekend at the zoo).
Day six. Winter!
How beautiful was the capital today! How I missed the Moscow air! I would go straight to the central highway and breathe, breathe and breathe!
What a beauty - to go on the road, trying to see something behind the smoke escaping from the mechanism rattling in front! What a blessing, enjoy white snow before the dogs realize that it’s warmer outside! What a joy to be a pedestrian who is walking slowly and who is no longer fined for speeding!
The happiest people are glasses. We finally see where we are going. Before the first entrance to the store or the subway, of course.
About entrances. Moscow has the best entrances in the world! Marble. Expensive. Beauty. What a pleasure, spreading arms and legs, to move on this snow-covered stone, trying to get to something less expensive, but reliable.
Sellers no longer care, buy you something in the store, or do not buy. For them, the only thing that matters is whether you close the door behind you.
Motorists in every way trying to justify their name. Myself freeze, but the car will warm! If they could, they would certainly take the iron friends for the night to their home.
Severe frost turns into a normal winter. Muscovites pulled out into the street. Lived cultural life. The viewer returned to the theaters. A bit later, the actors will definitely come back there.
Nobody laughs at ice cream vendors anymore.
Couriers longingly look at the thermometer. The higher the degree, the farther they will be sent.
Hot pizza delivery men are glad that they no longer have to make a fire at the entrance to the customer. Pizza will be hot without it.
Blue athletes and red sportswomen poured on the tracks. Well, what kind of specialist in a healthy lifestyle did the thought take to run along Moscow roads?
Children appeared on the streets again. And I already began to forget what they look like: three scarves, three scarves, in the middle - a spout.
That's who the joy was. Why are children canceled, and the parents, who need to attach these children somewhere, no? It is like winning a lottery, but not knowing where the win is.
Birds began to return from the south. A column of penguins has just proceeded to the Moscow River.
Giant icicles on the roofs are waiting for the thaw to habitually rush towards the Muscovites.
The first fishermen went on the ice. True, while they sit only on indoor skating rinks.
In general, the city is returning to its normal crazy life.
And this is very good!
(tomorrow - conclusion)
Freezing Moscow. Day sixth (Winter!).