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SUICIDE "YOUNG BREDIC"
SET-TOY FOR CHILDREN OF THE SENIOR BRANDY AGE
GOST 21054BR03 / UT
1. GENERAL PROVISIONS
A set of toys for children of the elderly old age "JUNIOR BREDIK", hereinafter referred to as "the set", is intended to reduce accounts of life (suicide) in case of loss of honor, male (female) dignity, in a state of despair, marasmus, or in any combination of the above conditions. Carefully read the instructions for use before using the kit.
ATTENTION! The manufacturer is not liable for possible deplorable and / or unfortunate consequences if the toy is used inappropriately and / or in violation of the operating manual.
When purchasing a kit, please check the completeness!
The set includes:
Rope hemp * TU431218EB 3,5 m.
- Soap household TU5864981 1 remnant
- Razor blade rusty GOST325496Х-УЙ 1 шт.
- Ampoule (5 ml.) With cyanide potassium GOST8BL5-I 1 pc.
- Sleeping pills of the cachet ** GOST132464-LE 1 pc.
* In the event of interruptions in the supply of hemp ropes, a hemp rope may be replaced in a set with any rope that corresponds to TU431218-Y. The mismatch of the length of the rope specified in the Manual within 1.5 m is allowed.
** The manufacturer of the kit reserves the right to assemble the kit with any sort of hypnotic tablets that have passed the test for insecurity and corresponding to GOST132464-LE.
3. THE GAME WITH THE SET
1. Open the box.
2. Remove the razor blade from the box, making sure not to injure your fingers.
3. If you are right handed, roll up the sleeve on your left arm. If you are left-handed, go directly to step 5.
4. Gently hold the razor blade rusty with your right hand, with a sharp smooth movement, make a long incision on the wrist of your left hand in the LONGITUDINAL direction. A liquid of red color (blood) should start flowing from the hand. If the liquid does not appear within 6 hours from the moment of incision or has any other color (blue, green, cyan, magenta, spruce, black), then go to step 5.
5. Carefully, trying not to break the glass, remove the ampoule from the box with cyanocals (gomarjouas genazvali!).
6. Read the label on the label. If you can not read, then go directly to step 8.
7. If the label reads "KCN", go to step 8. If it says "salt", "sugar" or "vanillin", it means that the shelf life of the kit has expired. Contact one of the authorized repair centers for fixing the kit.
8. Firmly clutching the ampoule in your left hand, attach the pointed end of the ampoule to the edge of any surface (table, door, hemp, trunk of the 600th Mercedes). With a sharp blow to the right hand rib, apply a blow to the sharp end of the ampoule, producing a loud cry "KYA (yap. Kiiyaa)". If you hurt your hand, add "YOUR MOTHER" (JAPAN AND !!!!). If the end of the ampoule is not broken off, repeat the operation. If after three attempts to break off the end of the ampoule failed, or you broke your arm, pinch the end of the ampoule in the door, the desk drawer, the fork of the trunk, the trunk of the 600th Mercedes or any other slit, and, making ampoule pokachichnye traffic, break off the naughty end (ampoules!), while producing a cry of FU-U! (yap, foo).
9. Continuing to hold the ampoule with your left hand, turn it with the broken end down, while simultaneously drawing the palm of your right hand under it, so that the powder from the ampoule does not wake up to the ground (door, desk drawer, trunk of the 600th Mercedes).
10. Open your mouth.
11. With a sharp movement, lean your right hand against the mouth, while salivating and making vibrating movements with your tongue, in order to lick the powder.
12. You should hear your own scream and move to the horizontal position. If you do not move to a horizontal position, or hear someone else's scream, see point 13.
13. Open the cover of the set, gently pull the rope hemp, with a mysterious smile on his face.
14. Take out the household soap and moisten it with a little beer, saliva, urine or any other physiological fluid.
15. With smooth, measured movements, cover the rope with a uniform layer of soapy solution, leaving a small small piece not smaller than 15 cm from one end.
16. Make a small loop from the other end of the rope, using the book "Knitting loops of simple and increased complexity: a guide for sailors and students" (sent by order) as a guide.
17. Any object that towers above the ground to a height of at least 2 m (tree, child's swing, 600th Mercedes, put on the pop), which has any projection, unevenness or any other surface defect suitable for securing rope.
18. Fasten the rope to the selected object, tying it on the surface defect with a gordian knot (see the guide: Gordii M., Macedonian A. Knitting knots of increased delirium., World, 324 BC) (sent on special request).
19. If your neck does not reach the rope, use some object to stand on it and rise above the ground (stool, stump, ass ass).
20. Poke your head into the noose at the end of the rope, then tighten the loop so that it snug against the skin of the neck, but does not impede breathing.
21. Count in Japanese up to 6 ("Ich", "no", "song", "shi", "go", "rock"). 22. With a cry of "I am Carlson!" (japan "banzai") jump off the stool, or if you are standing on the ground, sharply bend your knees.
23. You should hear your wheezing and gasp.
24. If you continue to breathe freely or hear someone else's wheezing, go to step 25. ATTENTION! Use the same rope twice in a row is unsafe.
25. Loudly fart and, opening the lid of the set, get a sleeping bag of sleeping pills.
26. Sleeping pills look like round bulges on a sheet of paper. Try not to read the inscriptions on the wafers.
27. If you do not know how to remove tablets from a cachet, eat the whole pack together with the paper. Do not forget to snore. ATTENTION! Persons suffering from allergies to paper must first take Suprastin.
28. Sip tablets with beer "Old Pramen", whiskey "Shiva srygal", vodka "Girinoffski", tincture of fly agarics and naphthyzine drops. 29. For lack of "Old Pramen" beer, use the "Old Goat" beer or the wine "Kindzmarauli" or "Kober-no" (it is sent separately with a snack and girls).
30. You should feel intoxication and heaviness in the eyelids (opaque membranes closing your eyes). If the above symptoms are not observed within 24 hours, hit yourself with a hammer on the head (not in the kit). If, instead of noise in your ears, you hear a loud blow, go to step 31.
31. GAME OVER
4. TECHNICAL CHARACTERISTICS.
The kit meets the requirements of GOST 21054BR03 / ED.
Thickness not less than 8 mm
Breaking force (shock load), not less than 400 kg
Breaking force (static load), not less than 100 kg
Mobility according to the Kober / Ryabukhin scale, no less than 13 obm.
Mean on the Serge / Manlicher scale, not less than 180 Brd.
Ampoule with Cyanide Cali:
Amplitude, not less than 85%
Cyanicity, not less than 90%
Potassium, not less than 96%
A lethal dose of 2 mcg.
Blade, not less than 85%
Shaving, not more than 15%
Rustiness, not less than 87%
Sharpness, not less than 0,4 mm
Quantity, not less than 5 pcs.
Lethal dose, not more than 5 pcs.
Hypnotics, at least 74%
Tablet, not less than 67%
Detailed specifications of the kit are available by mail, if paid by cash on delivery. The address can be found at the end of the Operation Manual.
5. WARRANTY SERVICE.
The manufacturer guarantees the functionality of the kit for at least 6 months from the date of sale (up to 12 months from the date of issue) in operation in accordance with the Guidelines. In case of a violation of functionality, mail the mail to the address indicated at the end of the Guide. A new set will be delivered to you immediately.
ATTENTION! Require the filling of the Warranty Card when purchasing the kit. Without the stamp of the store that sold the set, the guarantee is invalid.
------------------------- The line of circumcision -------------------
TO SET-TOY "YOUNG BREDIC" N 2146796-BL
DATE OF PRODUCTION 13/18/00
DATE OF SALE ______
STORE OF THE STORE:
SIGNATURE OF SELLER: __________
------------------------- The line of circumcision -------------------
6. ADDRESS OF MANUFACTURER-MANUFACTURER
132765, BREDOBREDINSKY DISTRICT,
MARASENNAYA REGION, pos. BREDNEVO,
ul. THEM. GARMA HNIPAHELLIRSKOGO,
d.18973 / 8997
TELEPHONE: 100-01-03-02 (after the 17th beep)
We will be happy to receive any suggestions for improving the recruitment.
The most ridiculous countries
Do you know which state is the smallest? Monaco? Vatican? And here not. It turns out that there are countries that you can not find on the map either. Let's go on a virtual tour.
During the Second World War, several offshore platforms were built near the British coast, where anti-aircraft guns and a small garrison were located. After the war, the need for them disappeared, and most were destroyed, but one remained. In 1966, an enterprising Englishman, Roy Bates, settled on it and organized a pirate radio station. And so that the British court could not file claims against him, declared the platform a sovereign state called Sealand (literally "Sea land"), and declared himself Prince Roy I. Naturally, the British authorities did not suffer such insolence for long and sent patrol boats to the platform. But it was not there - there were shots from the platform, and the patrol shamefully retreated. Then the British government went the other way, having filed a lawsuit against Bates. However, the court made a completely unexpected decision, announcing that the case was outside the British jurisdiction, thereby recognizing the sovereignty of Silenda. For the English, the decision of the court is a law, no matter how ridiculous it may seem, so now Seeland has become an independent principality with all the ensuing consequences. For example, he began to coin a coin and issued a constitution, and also acquired his own flag, coat of arms and passports.
Passports for Silenda are not just a state attribute, but a good addition to the pension for Prince Roy (by the way, Britain stopped paying him a pension). According to Interpol, now about 150 thousand people have Ciland passports, because according to the laws of the principality, its citizens do not pay any taxes. True, the government of Silenda claims that only 300 people are its citizens legally, and the rest of the passports are false. In addition to the passports, for only 30 pounds, you can acquire the titles of counts or barons.
Since the beginning of the computer era, Siland has developed new ways of earning money. At the beginning of this century, HavenCo company placed its hosting in the Principality, in return, the local government undertook to guarantee the law on freedom of information (and according to the laws of Silenda on the Internet everything is allowed, except for child pornography). Thus, HavenCo hopes to avoid the restrictions imposed by British law.
On the site of this microstate, you can find other curious facts from its history. For example, that in 1978 in the principality there was a coup d'état. The group of "conspirators" led by former Prime Minister Silenda captured the platform and took hostage to the crown prince Michael. However, Prince Roy managed to repel both the prince and his possessions. This story caused a real international scandal, the governments of the Netherlands and Germany turned to the government of Silenda with petitions demanding the release of their citizens taken prisoner during the "battles for Sealand". Prince Roy graciously agreed, and by the same token the governments of these countries de facto recognized the independence of Silenda. But since then there are two governments of the Principality of "lawful" and "government in exile" under the leadership of the coup.
True, Roy Bates has not yet achieved official recognition of his state in the UN and other international organizations, although all the formal signs necessary for such recognition are available.
But if the country is not quite legal, but at least has its own territory, the next "state" in our list exists only virtually.
In 1965, a group of New Zealand hippy students overwhelmed all major world news agencies around the world with press releases from a certain sultanate, Oecussi Ambeno, who, they said, was stationed on an island near East Timor. Since the territory on the maps was, and no one in Europe was particularly interested in what actually happens among the virgin tribes in Oceania, they were taken seriously and even considered at the UN for recognition. The site of Ocussi Ambeno looks quite certain, if you do not want to go into detail. For example, that the main source of income of the Sultanate is the export of hallucinogenic fungi and deductions from the performance of the national dance of macarena. So if you've ever danced macarene, do not forget to pay taxes. There is such a game Starcraft
Cotton and taka gra - Starcraft. Dougah garnah with elements of fantasy and chauvinism ... Vona navchaye pidrostayuche voklinnya printstypam zhittya, so yak 'pennies are all', 'hto sylnyshy that and right', and that show the importance of timpleyu, for nashomu - friendship.
In the countries of the gris trie zyryty pennies that zyshushaty ekshi, chi mayzh ezhe ... Zynyshuvaty call to jump around the important natural conditions, and inodes already at the cosmos. Groshi, yak and yytti, show off two of you - greens that sons, the course is here for 1 to 5. I'll try to explain the basic moments of the game, toto kym graty so yak grat ...
StarCraft's maemo has a race of races, taken from the Terana, then the katsapa, the filenya of the Faina race, the alae are lovingly pampered, in their 'Steampuck', and in their garments ...
Protoss, then we, khokhly, a raw race, with our own pryntsypami, alae chomus troha inertna. Alae in us duzhe sylvna vira, the truth kazuchi we do not rozumiemo in scho.
The Zerg, then the Jews, all think that wops are tupi and brainless, it's not like that, there are duzheyhytri and prozherlyvi, and there are plenty of wagons everywhere. But they are not enough for the Hrazo Rozumie and the Won Chim are gaining ...
Now about the actions of tact ...
This tactic is a tactic, called 'RASH', but our Cossacks have their grandfathers - Nezhdanka ... Tse Kolya yak uvoga skorishe stroimish kogos ya attacking the wolf and breaking yomu ribra, chi feet, chi hands, it's not important, most importantly Tob did not breathe bilsh. Garno go out at the Zerg, that's not them rozumie nihito.
E and the other tact, is called 'Drop', select parts of Viysk, and in our opinion - VDV, zbrasuyutsya z samolyotiv at the rear of the wolf, at the very heart of the robots, zhivok, that child, that vyrazayut their efforts. Trochs of the zhorstok taktik, ale sho porobish tse titya ...
Khokhly, Tkhu, Protoss, love the beans, the mustache itself was built. He poked a dust at the map, poked a little house! Protocols are at the very beginning (on enthusiasm) or at the very end (when everything is there). At the beginning of yima, it is good to rush to walk, especially to katsap (those zhydy hytri then the dogs will grow, then prick will be given). I used to get together two of those, let's do moskulize - they'll be the most overflowing, the floor of the village can be weeded out. A shche e specialty sorcerers, sho our virus to adjust zhivid pereverbuvaty mozut. Aly Vili's sons themselves are our zeppelins! Tilky stand out dearly.
Katsapa in the middle of the gathering will be thirty-forty sailors, take nurses of a dozen, impregnate vodka, and A cola can be annoyed with a sonny and a nuclear bomb sharahnut. Sometimes, however, a soldier bombshell paddlesbee kiddo (bachit not far), so not only on the wagon, but also on the couch on the couch are possible. For that the Terrans are afraid and respect.
Zerg loving pid the earth to crawl. Zergs of the son of Tovpis Odin zerg are not a warrior. Вийська вмиють п|п|п|я|п|п|п|п|, shtohatis rizata that kusatsya. That's why I do not give a damn thing. It's like wishing to love mutating buv harptadel, becoming a pidzemnian ripper. Somehow parazytyut on the Terrans to lick in the yyhnyu Verkhovna Radu (chi commander, yak there bis yogo), organize the Mahviyah, taunt the terroristic-odinochok. In tympley they are not to be fond of for sho Gad de decha, there is de Zerg, you can not stati.
Well, that trohy about the unit. At katsapiv the most dashing unit is a bat-kilzer (mabut, kind of English << battle >> - dancing). Terrani loving shob wuo shyrahalo ta bumkalo, to put on the highlights of the litamy of Yamatagan. Two Yamatagan before the encore to drive a beloved unit, our krim is zeppeliniv. The alleys and the interrogation of Kerrigan Jyydy yy skorobyly porch that zakinuli at the rear. In Zargiv e strong, then elephants, chi chickens. Scary Ikla, do not beat me, sho in them zverhu. Tom zvidty yih convenient dovbati. In Protosiv, the sight of an invisible man is pierced by the rear of the coup to the people.
The head unit of the machine is a whole, sho-grae.
All the questions listed below are REAL questions from the service of trust on sexual matters on the Internet, only the answers have been added.
How to understand - a man ends up in a woman?
When you understand - it will be too late.
I WOULD LIKE TO KEEP IF MAY BEING A DEVELOPER AND IT IS TO THE COUNTRY OVER LIZBYANKA THIS IS POSSIBLE EVERYTHING YOU CAN HAVE AN ATRAYSHEAD ON IT OR IT CAN PUT UP KAKUINIBUTS 'DISEASE AND LESS THAN GIRL'S GIRLS STANOVYATTSA LIZBYANKOVAMI THAT THAT PSYCHIK IS SUCH Yes. This is clearly one of my future patients ...
Hi!!! I am 15 years old. The size of my penis is 15 cm.
My concern is that my cock is hunchbacked (it is curved in the right side). What should I do? Maybe it's because I'm masturbating with my right hand?
Masturbate left, can straighten up! ..
1) say it is normal, when the guy ananiru, I think it's somehow immoral 2) if the guy is okay in terms of sex, he also ananiruet or he lacks normal sex 3) why my guy ananiruet after sex, I certainly do not I'm sure he does it, he as soon as he finishes, he immediately tells me rest baby, although I'm not satisfied at all, and he immediately hand under the blanket, why does this happen?
There was an offer to give the girl the address of our Chinese friend, but in the service of trust, unfortunately, do not light soap ...
I do not have a girlfriend and that's why I very often ananiruyu. I have this problem. it even came to the point that I slept with one young man. Tell me how I can get rid of ananism and what my orientation is.
Girls! do not let another 3.14 appear!
At sexual contact at my girl plentiful allocation of a blood. What could it be?
... and you did not try to have sex with your girlfriend, except for critical days?
What is it to me 18 and I have instead of semen what that transparent mucus. I ask to send the answer on mail !!!!!!!!!!@inbox.ru ASAP I ASK YOU.
Drink less, and alcohol will trickle!
I often masturbate, and now with the girls in bed, I quickly finish I'm 17 years old. I heard that because of masturbation this can happen.
If you stop masturbating, can you stop quickly ending.
Please reply to me as soon as possible! And then I'll hang myself.
Hang on! Vzdrochni only at the end ...
how to make the woman do sex with me ????????????????
Wailing of a tormented soul.
I have already crushed this question, and it is extremely important for me.
Is it possible to lose virginity without a live partner, if possible, how?
The counter question: is the cemetery far away?
I have a white rash on my penis. As the venereologist has told or said to me it because of clogging of sebaceous glands. When asked how to get rid of them, she said that there was no cause for concern and they should not be disposed of. I believe her, But with an erection they look very ugly. Tell me please you can still get rid of them somehow. Thank you in advance.
I am 15 years old. And I was lifted up to masturbate, I already want someone to alienate, that is, have sex! It seems to me that in addition to the skill of my hand, I do not accept anything new from it.
When will I already fuck with someone?
I'm already 7 years old, and the member does not get up yet, what should I do?
Is it worth having sex during menstruation?
And if you want something like !!!!! What methods of satisfaction should be used in this situation!
Turn to the guy with the mitten ...
Zdrastvujte! I am always tormented by the inconvenience of my penis. For example, when a member is excited, when I am in a public place, the hair on the scrotum interferes with the member and cuts it, very unpleasant. Or, in an excited state, a member is hard to pee, since one has to bend due to an inelastic vertical position. How to have sex with such inelasticity of a member and unbending?
And you're a peer down your head and say thank you that the spiral is not twisted.
1. I have a girlfriend. She likes me and she likes me. How to learn to kiss?
2. How can you find out if a girl wants to have sex or to kiss?
3. How can you find out when you are having sex, where should you promote your pen? What is Clitre and others?
4. I have a "Jewish" member. That is, cut it ... How can I masturbate ??
There's nothing to say.
You can do some other methods of sex. Aha. To deprive of virginity under fingernails or nails.
Good afternoon, dear! For you, the following question will sound: "Is it possible to deprive a girl of virginity (with her index finger), and how deep the finger will enter the finger"
A Th, a member does not work?
I have never had sex with devstvenitsami, and I do not know how to do it.
Friends say that it is difficult to make a member and advise with two fingers. But I do not want to be an idiot in front of a girl.
WHAT TO DO?!
... and who is to blame? ..
I am already 15 years old, I have a developed breasts.
And there are no nipples. Why? Prompt.
Radiation is invisible, but very pervasive and harmful ...
when I go to the toilet, my penis head is bare and if I do not descend, then it's almost barely bare. Go to the toilet more often!
I love an 8 year old girl, and I'm 16.
Pedophilia is booming ...
At me after that I shall terminate, there is an easy or a light; a mild prickling in testicles, it because of varikateley?
This Th for lancepupa this?
How to kiss vzasos?
Try to suck out the tomatoes first.
How long should a member beat to tear a string to a heifer?
When you feel her tonsils - it means, just right.
I have on the testicles and on the penis appeared white balls, similar to acne, they are also on the site of the growth of hair on the testicles. When you press them, a white mass appears, similar to pus (like an eel). The fact is that I have a lot of blackheads on my face and on my back and on my hands. I also wanted to say that these balls are solid to the touch. Once, one eel ripened, I squeezed it out, but it appeared again! I had no sexual contacts so it's not a venereal disease! Tell me what it is and how to get rid of it!
Did not try to dabble? They say it helps ...
Hello, please answer my question on October, 19th about 5 minutes and the size of a member And answer, please, from a fence and before a dinner. How do you think it hurts the first time?
Is it possible to lose consciousness? If so, under what circumstances? It is said that it is more painful with a condom.
It's true? Can I use a condom the first time?
Aha. Consciousness can be lost, crammed into epileptic cramps and choked with foam from the mouth. And the incontinence can be.
When I masturbate, I have absolutely no lubricants. What should I do?
First, write down what kind of sex you are ...
Nitsche if I take in my mouth every day and at the end I masturbate will not be anything?
Look, boy. Do not shoot.
I am pleased to touch my clit this is nothing Nich-cho, with a beer pore!
I'm 16 years old, I often engaged in masturbation and eventually began to feel that the member was a bit drowsy (my penis is 18 cents in a nervous state). What must be done to make everything normal?
And he went to look for a flower vyanenko ...
Zdrastvuyte, a few months ago, I wrote here a question relating to the gnawed member and phimosis.
I want to tell all the guys with a crooked member that they are worried about this (unless, of course, it is 90 degrees incoherent) there is nothing like the doctor himself told me (and they are not afraid, they help).
Before you will be broadcasting a crooked audience, get on the podium ...
I want to fuck my math teacher, will this help me to pass the exam?
I have a question. My girlfriend, when we have sex, does not allow me to deeply insert my penis. Says that it hurts. Although I do not have a big dick! And, by the way, earlier, with a larger member (her ex-boyfriend), she was inserted into it until it stopped and nothing hurt her. She is 18 years old. Maybe there was an erosion or something he violated there (such a thing?).
And most importantly - a gallant resentment the guy denies that he has a big dick!
It is very interesting - whether the synthesis of the corpuscular-dualized amino acid affects the decomposition of toxic-chemical compounds, which are based on burdened serotonatium tributyl mesazonone. This question was asked to me by my girlfriend at the time when we had sex. What is it for??????? And if it does not complicate you, please answer me this question.
From the point of view of banal erudition, each individual who critically motivates abstraction can not ignore the criteria of utopian subjectivism, conceptually interpreting the conventional defanizing polarizers, so the consensus reached by the dialectical material classification of general motivations in the paradoxical connections of predicates solves the problem of improving the forming geotransplantation quasi-puzzles of all kinetically correlated aspects. Proceeding from this, we came to the conclusion that every arbitrarily chosen predicatively absorbing object of rational mystical induction can be discretely determined with the application of a situational paradigm of a communicative-functional type in the presence of a detector-archaic distribution image in the Hilbert convergence space; however, in a parallel co-analysis of spectrographic sets, isomorphically relative to the multiband hyperbolic paraboloids interpreting the anthropocentric ногочлен Нео-Лагранжа, возникает позиционный сигнификатизм гентильной теории психоанализа, в результате чего надо принять во внимание следующее: поскольку не только эзотерический, но и экзистенциальный апперцепционный энтрополог антецедентно пассивизированный высокоматериальной субстанцией, обладает призматической идиосинхрацией, но так как валентностный фактор отрицателен, то и, соответственно, антагонисти ческий дискредитизм деградирует в эксгибиционном направлении, поскольку, находясь в препубертатном состоянии, практически каждый субъект, меланхолически осознавая эмбриональную клаустрофобию, может экстраполировать любой процесс интеграции и дифференциации в обоих направлениях, отсюда следует, ч то в результате синхронизации, ограниченной минимально допустимой интерполяцией образа, все методы конвергенционной концепции требуют практич ески традиционных трансформаций неоколониализма. Неоколонии, размножающиеся почкованием, имеют вегетационный период от трёх до восьми фенотипических гомозигот, но все они являются лишь фундаментальным базисом социогенетич еской надстройки криогенно-креативного процесса геронтологизации. Увеличить этот базис можно с помощью гектаплазменного ускорителя биоинертных коллоидных клеток контагиозной конкретизации, однако введение конкретизации влечёт за собой применение методов теории множеств и дистрибутивного анализа, что обусловлено тем, что трансцендентальная поликонденсация нероноспоры в перплексном хаосе может инбабулировать комплексный морфоз только тогда, когда конституент доминанты квазитенденциально универсален, и происходит довольно внезапно. Очевидно, что всё вышесказанное проливает свет на теорию предикативных ощущений субъекта, абсолютно нефункциональных в условиях абстрактного хаоса.
Что такое деспотизм?
10 человек попадают на необитаемый остров. Один, поумнее и посильнее, объявляет себя Верховным Вождем, после чего жрет всех остальных по очереди.
Остальные и пикнуть не смеют - боятся, но надеются, что спасительный корабль придет раньше их очереди.
Что такое абсолютная монархия?
10 человек попадают на необитаемый остров. Один, поумнее и посильнее, объявляет себя Царем Всея Необитаемый Остров, назначает пару вельмож, посильнее и поглупее. Потом жрет все остальных по очереди, немножко делясь с вельможами.
Что такое конституционная монархия?
10 человек попадают на необитаемый остров. Один, поумнее, подговаривает остальных, чтобы они выбрали Короля Всея Необитаемый Остров. А с королем заранее договаривается, чтобы тот назначил его премьером. Потом они жрут всех остальных, забирая львиную часть добычи себе, хотя все думают, что это их собственное решение.
Что такое республика?
10 человек попадают на необитаемый остров и делят его на неравные доли.
Каждый сидит на своей территории, внимательно наблюдая, чтобы никто не залез. Время от времени кто-то на кого-то нападает и съедает, что осуждается всеми, с кем не поделились.
Что такое коммунизм?
10 человек попадают на необитаемый остров. Один, поумнее и посильнее выбирает себя Генеральным Секретарем Всея Остров, причем постоянно талдыч
ит, что это общее решение. Кто пытается возмутиться того съедают. Генсек каждый день созывает всеобщее собрание, на котором говорит, что совсем скоро начнуться поиски соседних островов с Вражескими Империалистами, которых они будут есть. Но на деле едят кого-то из своих, называя их для порядка врагами народа.
Что такое фундаментализм?
10 человек попадают на необитаемый остров. Тот, кто поумнее и похаризматич нее, объявляет себя Халифом Всея Небесного Острова и занимает лучшее место под пальмой, причем говорит, что на это воля Аллаха. Потом он выбирает того, кто наименее популярен среди островитян и объявляет его обедом на сегодня (что, разумеется, тоже воля Аллаха).
Все довольны, включая съедаемого, ибо несчастный уверен, что сей же час он попадет в рай.
Что такое демократия?
10 человек попадают на необитаемый остров. Устраивают голосование и выбирают Президента Всея Райского Острова. Президент занимает лучше место под пальмой и начинает составлять конституцию, провозглашать права ч еловека, гласность, объявлять независимость острова, и т.д. Потом все умирают от голода, потому что нехрен строить демократию в стране с маленьким населением и без природных ресурсов.