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A quiet summer night passed beyond the equator, as the moon spoke, which moved to the western edge of the celestial sphere. The night silence was disturbed by the ticking of the clock and the distant noise of the car. The darkness of the room was illuminated by the light, silvery light of the moon, casting some fanciful shadows on almost bare walls and tearing part of the room out of the darkness. Suddenly, the clock struck three, something stirred in the dark corner of the room, there was a loud rustle, which made the man peacefully sleeping in the room on the bed woke up and passed through the room with sleepy, insane eyes. The rustle in the darkness repeated itself and the man stared tensely into the darkness. - Who is there? said the man. - I! the voice said. "Who the fuck am I?" There was a disturbing note in the man's voice. - I! the voice said, and out of the darkness, the creature stepped into the light of the moon. - Епт! - all that a man could say. - Well, yes, hell! Well, so what? - gave out a horned, pigish creature. - Huyase! - said the man and thought to himself, "I stop drinking." - No, I'm not a manifestation of protein. gave out the devil. - Uh-uh, fuck! - squeezed out of himself lying, clasping his head, terribly ill with a hangover. "You were waiting for me!" - Who, I, but you fuck! - Well, yes, you yourself yesterday complained to homies that life is shit, in life it did not work and is ready for anything to become better, even to sell the devil's soul. "And here I am," the devil said, making an obsequious expression on his face. Vasily hardly remembered yesterday evening, but the devil was right, he said that, moreover, the words absolutely coincided with reality. After a moment's reflection, he asked: "Well, what are the conditions?" - It's very simple, we sign the contract, your wishes are fulfilled, and after death - you give us your soul, how? "Hm, soul," thought Vasily, soul-soul - was worn in his head, in exchange for desires, so what do I want? A whirlwind of thoughts rushed through Vasiliy's mind, but it did not occur to him at once, and then it dawned on him, exactly! In a dream, Vasya often saw himself as rich and famous in the surroundings of slender beauties, oh yes, hell, hell with her with a soul, he never saw him. - I agree! said Vasya. "So, your desires?" the devil said. - I want all my dreams to come true! - Opa! - a bright flame broke out, and the devil had a piece of paper in his hands. The devil handed it to Vasily, who in the moonlight and with a hangover could barely read the contract - it seems to be all true. - Give me a pen. said Vasya. "No, not with a pen, blood!" - answered the devil and handed Vasya a sharp little spike. Vasya pricked his finger and put his scribbler. - On! - said Vasya and handed the paper to the devil. - That's it! The flame flared and the horned giggle disappeared. Exactly, "squirrel," thought Vasya and fell face to pillow - in five minutes he snored. A quiet summer night passed beyond the equator, as the moon spoke, which moved to the western edge of the celestial sphere. The silence of the night was disturbed by the ticking of the clock and the distant, podzayabshy noise of the car. The darkness of the room was illuminated by the light, silvery light of the moon, casting some fanciful shadows on almost bare walls and tearing part of the room out of the darkness. Suddenly, the clock struck four, something moved in the dark corner of the room, there was a loud rustle that caused the man peacefully sleeping in the room on the bed, woke up and passed through the room with sleepy, insane eyes. The rustle in the darkness repeated itself, and the man stared tensely into the darkness. "What a?" Vasya thought in his head. - It is me again! There was a voice, and the same horned one came out. On his face, the traces of fresh beatings could be guessed, one horn was broken, besides, some brown scraps were attached to his wool, and he himself exuded a smell similar to the station's public station. - What else? asked Vasya. - Vasily Petrovich, could we reconsider the contract, say gold, women, glory or completely break it, or else my bosses are displeased - somehow the melancholy uttered the devil. - Fuck you, said Vasya - the contract is a contract. And, completely exhausted from a headache, fell face down in the pillow. Vasya dreamed a strange dream, very realistic, very amusing his sleep, he dreamed hell, real, he saw before him Lucifer, standing cancer, and on the direct wide highway of all kinds of devils, incubi and succubus, demons and archdemons in orderly rows to the sounds of a festive march went to his ass.
My colleague recently said: My daughter had not even had a heart attack. She is 15 years old, comes up somehow and asks: - Pa, but how to interrupt do? - And why do you need this? - Well, I have a delay there ... I asked, they say you need an interruption ... - !!? !! "What did I say?" On the computer, the toy brakes, I say, some interruption is necessary ...
Veterinarian's daughter
My daughter is the eldest, Vetfeldsher, another bike brought: ... There is some kind of action, such as spring vaccination of domestic animals. To attract more customers, they decided to send a couple of people - handing out flyers at a stop. And, for spectacularity, dress them up in costumes for cats and dogs: children and housewives react well to this. One of the workers offered her almost adult daughter, 12 years old, for this role. And they dress this girl in a dog suit. A large mask, and a comb with a tail. Actually a joke: The girl puts on the combenizon backwards (ie, the tail in front.) The staff amicably rushes to help correct the mistake, they say - not so put on! The latter claps her eyes in bewilderment, and finally realizes: "Ah, that's the tail!" Staff - shiseet. Mother reacts first: - Yes. And you - _Who_ thought ?! - Ah ... It's ... Yes, well, you know - WHAT I thought ... The daughter of a veterinarian, however ... PS: It's a pity that she was not released into this street in such an alternative ...
Young girls for you
We're going to Seliger. Along the highway near the cattle farm there are a bunch of local residents. Above the piles of the tablet: <Worms>, <Worms>, <Worms>: Already on the outskirts of the village on the oboshene two children are sunburnt, lightly dressed girlish. Above them a hefty poster "YOUNG GIRLS FOR YOU !!!" We approach closer, we read the second line in fine print: "We have collected excellent worms." 50 rubles a pile. "
Burial of a butt
Funeral stub is an old army tradition. At the training camp in 1975, officers for a long time threatened to arrange this event, and finally someone got caught ... Major forced him to dig a pit "two by two to two." The platoon tried to ease the fate of the unfortunate and asked the major that the perpetrator dug out only two pitches "one on one by one". The major thought and said: "No, after all, two pits are a lot." Let him dig one - enough from him! But this is how the Russian army stores this tradition. The son serves in the suburbs. Late at night they were raised to watch the ceremony of burial a cigarette butt by a neighboring part of the air defense. It turns out, in the evening, the commander found in the arrangement of the part ... THE BROADEN OAKURA !!! The regiment was raised on alarm! For the butt put together a coffin in full size. In front of the column was a car with an orchestra playing a funeral march. Behind her, the coffin carried platoon. And then ... RIED the regiment in full combat layout - A FEW KILOMETERS !!! According to the servicemen, about half a year after this procedure, there was not a single stub on the territory of the unit. Then comes a new call ...
Sad mistake
Two guys in a bathhouse on a private house in the village paralyzed. After the steam room, they jumped out in the snow, and I must say, the frost was still that. In short, one of the guys with all the fool ass jumped into the snow, and there, slightly priporoshenny, lies the remainder of the tractor spring. Who in his childhood tried to lick the iron in the cold, realizes that the guy is stuck capitally. Well at least zhelezyaka (by the way, not less than 20 kg) is not frozen into the ground. They dopelyli it together with the ass back to the bath, and one neighing desperately, and the second did not know what to do - whether to cry or laugh. Already in the steam room, they warmed this piece of iron and with difficulty tore it from the ass, and ripping off from the brother a good piece of skin. Until now, his ass is decorated with a solid scar, reminiscent of an annoying "mistake."
Organized structure
They sent me yesterday to the pharmacy for any nasty things (for in the office everyone sneezes and coughs). I bought it and ask for a check for expensive accounting. Behind me, the boy stood ... simpatashhny such ... well, and says give me pliz condoms, different and more ... The pharmacist begins to choose and offer him. He: - No, do not give such, they do not suit everyone ... and you do not need such identities ... but give these. Apothecary: - A young man, and what are you so many and different? He: - So in fact a new year, we have a corporate party. Apothecary (slightly out of the box): - Well, you'll go for fame. The guy scoops everything, then looks at my sales receipt and says: - Yes, and write to me, too, and then you must give the accountant. Which, however, is an organized structure, and does not forget about employees, and does not forget about business.
I'll show you how to spray!
Prelude: Turks in the Antalya area arranged rafting on the mountain river. The air temperature is 40, the water is 15. In order not to pump out the tourists, the Turks came up with fun - Russian and German rafts with shouts of "Stalingrad", and "Hyundai-hoh" become sides to each other and the crews splash the opposite side into the face with oars . "Captain" of the victorious raft akimbo sits at the stern, and rescued from heat stroke tourists cheerfully pile further. Turk said, captain rafting raft: - Once the Germans crept up to my raft, on which were the Russians and heavily beaten in all, including one fouled fifu. She immediately to me: come on, come on, catch up !!! He, like, conspiratorially winked and led the raft to the Germans down below, waiting for a new duel "on water pistols." Imagine his surprise when the fifa shouted: "I'll show you, bastard, how to splash into me!" - struck the old Fritz with an oar on the head.
If the traffic policeman slows down
Yesterday was. To begin with - anecdote: "If the traffic policeman brakes - explain to him again" Brakes me GUY on the track. So and so - where to hurry? It shows my speed - 114, and I remember something, that for this 200r, I offer him - let's say that for half (that is, for 100) we will run up, and he to me - 100r for such speed is a normal penalty. O`k I say, then give for 50. For 50 he agrees. But I still can not understand - whether he put up, or whether it's a matter of principle ....
Throw out the women!
I worked as a sysadmin in a big office. It was located in the Business Center on four floors. I, naturally, sat on the first, in the komorka. And on the fourth sat the Great Chiefs, who never came down to us mortals. And so, one evening, at the end of a day's work, I wait, when these results of the day will be recorded on the blank. Then the door opens, the Big Head enters. And he says: - Nick - who is this? - Ya. - Hey, it's there (puts his hand on his shoulder). In my wheelbarrow, there, the women have already got it. Throw out their nafig. I know you can find yourself. More shortly, find to me what-string of the edeny muzhiks. I know, you can. - Actually, I'm in this business, sort of like not really ... - Come on, all the people say that you know! .. I, pancake, right now, all night long, I must not fall asleep. After half an hour I leave - do it all night pearl! .. (On the window a double-glazed window and a lattice, he blocked the entire door - not to break) ... - And what should I do? "Well, like Ramstein, I'll fuck with the thread." (Gives a flash drive from the MR 3 car radio) ...
Dialogues about zhyvotnyh.
- Who are you fucking sent? !! You, goat, fuck! I'm fucking fucking scha here, gundon fucking !!! Bitch, I'll tear a point !!! Pidorjuga !!! Well, all fucking wankers: I'm ready! (Opanki! The party goes into the endgame: there are not enough for the breasts, but okay, let's talk.) Help, Saint Sigmund!). "You know, dear, I seem to have really sent you eh-fuck." Do not be scared for being rude. Believe me, without malice. This happens to me. Purely sporadically - Che did you say ?! You're fucking persecuting, you freak? Did you want to eat? (So, there is progress.) Naybalnik, so to speak, it's better than at once "I'm sorry." << I'm snatching you at a break, ripping the gust, bursting the ditches >>. >> Mandelstam, епт!). - If to be frank to the end, then in the ebalnik, as you would say, I would not like. Can I ask you one question? "What the fuck is the question, fetid pussy?" You, bitch, do you know who I am? You, bitch, you know, to whom a pussy has taken, broom? (Well, that's clever: half a ton below, and the little hands are not that bit anymore.). "To my shame, I have no honor to know you." But, maybe, I heard: apparently, you are a well-known person. Will not it trouble you to introduce yourself? - Shchu I fuck, introduce myself hello, ass, I'm a soldering iron. Che, fuck, you introduce yourself? Are you a cop, or what? Yes, I fucking cops on dick twirled bundles! - God with you! Fortunately, I do not work in law enforcement. Although my occupation is not so far from the Department of Themis. If you are interested, my profession is underwriter. "Huyter, fuck!" You, along the way, are the sidekick, the whole head is fucked. Do you piss me off in my ears? (Yeah, in such ears from three meters you can not miss, but the scheme is working! Already the "sidekick" Well, well, still). - And, nevertheless, I would like to know with whom I have the pleasure of talking. - SchA, nah, with pidornay everyone talk Well, it's Nicholas. "Nicholas?" Beautiful name. By the way, do you know that in your translation from ancient Greek your name means << the winner of the peoples >>? And how do you, sorry, for the report? - Julie there on the patronymic Nikolai simply. (This is the communicative bridge.) Zhidenky is so shaky, but he is a bridge). "Very nice, Nikolay. My name is Anatoly Sergeevich. You can simply: Anatoly. And yet, can I ask you something? - Well, in, fuck, curious Che is necessary? - Just do not rush to answer, try to answer sincerely. Do you really need these hundred rubles? - Yes, I fucked your stinky stinky with you! Che, do I eat the last cock without salt? In the ass shove yourself. (Verily, Nizami: who found a friend found wealth). - Then, apparently, it was just a surge of emotions? Unreasonable aggression? - The Hussites! Che, I do not understand, bro, are you this psychologist, or what? What did you do? (Here we are again, "Brothers." Respect, Dr. Freud! By the way, was I the one who "got tired"?) - Unfortunately, I'm not a psychologist. Although my work involves some knowledge of behavioral patterns. For example, your behavior speaks of loneliness, of unrealized craving for communication. - Well, fuck, zalupil: loneliness, khueskie Listen, and you're not fag? (Genital thinking, Classics!). - Well, what about you, Nikolai! I'm an ordinary heterosexual, millions. However, we are not talking now about sexual attachments, but about ordinary human communication. One hundred rubles in this case is just an excuse. In other circumstances, I would be happy to lend you this amount. Although I admit, I have little money. - Come on, fuck! I see, shit, that it's not Khodorkovsky. Okay, how are you, Tolyan Sergeich? I look, you are a man, nicer, normal. You know, dead, pizdish somehow not like everyone else. Consider, in the course of the Rams was not wiped. We went to "Ryabinka": we'll roll on three hundred, we'll poke it. And then, in nature, fuck, there's nobody to talk to. There is a lave, not a peasant. How are you, bruise? - Honestly, sometimes I use. - Well, here's the fuck. Come on, I'm pouring. Hey, what did you say, what do you plow? A word of some Gastarbeiter, or what? So, like, not a Tajik - Underwriter. From English: << underwriter >> - << to sign >>. If you just say: a specialist in an insurance company that is authorized to take risks. - Oh, fuck! Will you insure me? You know the anecdote: "Hey, insure! From insuring I hear! >>. Huh! Well, they moved A fucking dyuzhe here do not scatter: you know how many gopnikov goes fucked? Lucky for you, that hit me
Ancient lift
We live on the 9th floor. The house has an old elevator, which you need to manually open and close the doors. Each time we have to produce a lot of various manipulations: a) I press the call button. b) the elevator does not go - I walk on foot ... c) the elevator came: I rest my hands on the ledges on the doors, pushing in opposite directions - the door did not open - I walk - opened - I go into the elevator; d) the door clicks sharply behind my back, trying to grab a piece of me-beloved. e) I press the button - it does not work. e) I repeat manipulations with the door, but already from the inside. g) press the button - let's go. If in the hands (God forbid) bags - the situation is even more difficult - I will not even describe the Floor (I recall) the ninth. It was all a year ago, moreover, with each passing day the situation became more and more aggravated. He refused to work first on the 4th floor, then on the 7th floor and finally completely decayed, in short, for almost a year now we walked on foot. But that is not all. People have achieved that in the house must install an elevator. And here on the door to the entrance there is an announcement, indicating that in July the installation of the above-mentioned unit will start, with the connection in August. Everyone is happy. Exactly one day later, on the same door, all the long-suffering local residents saw one more: "Your house is in arrears of payment of communal payments in the amount of NNN." If the debt is not repaid, the elevator will be cut off! shocked
My daughter wants to go home
A friend lived in America for 8 years. He himself is a talented programmer with the rarest specialization, and with all the tutoshney Internet hysteria imperceptibly became a mere American millionaire. But the raspberry has ended, the company as well as many in the Valley covered with a copper basin, and to take to work with such a salary no one is in a hurry, not those times. Well, my friend just was happy: money like it is, citizenship has already received, divorced recently. Here I bought an apartment on Kamennoostrovsky, took my nine-year-old daughter and waved to Peter: "until better times, and maybe for good." A daughter, I must say, though born in Russia, but spent her entire adult life in California. And so, I call a friend in St. Petersburg. A friend is happy as a cat in a sour cream shop. Friends, buddies, hometown, all that. - And as a daughter, - I ask. - Yes, here, she cries, goes home, says, I want to. - So you tell her that this is her house and is. - He said foolishly, ... now crying even louder.
Carnivorous Cat
We bought a dog - a Risenschnauzer. The puppy is already five months old and it's time to cut off the ears (well, it was supposed to cut off the ears according to the old standards, so that the charming standing erect ears would turn out). Of the animals, besides the Riesenschnauzer, we had a black cat at that time - the most beautiful mouse and rat-cat. In general - a predator. So, the veterinarian agreed to conduct a "circumcision ceremony" in our home. The situation is as follows: in the room there is a desk, on the table there is a rather big dog already under anesthesia. Also on the table is a small glass plate (for pruning). The vet took out a box with instrumentation, took out a templar, clamped the dog's ear, tried on and cut off half of the ear. He laid the snippet on a plate and began to apply seams. And the cat, seizing the moment, almost instantly found himself on the table and grabbed the crop. The words of the veterinarian: "Where? Give the pattern!" Instant predator leap to the side, up the curtain, from there - to the closet ... I barely managed to catch the predator and take away my ear, which, fortunately, was not very chewed. On this pattern, the veterinarian quickly and symmetrically cut off the second ear. In general, after the operation we gave the cat these scraps and ate them almost instantly. And the dog's ears turned out magnificent.

You're trying to persuade me to have oral sex. Girl: Are you trying to persuade me to have oral sex? Dude: no, I'm trying to persuade you to your penis so that you can take it in your mouth. Girl: and what am I supposed to do with him there? Dude: Well, it's not like playing cards. Of course it's suck! Girl: release me immediately! Dude: first do what I need. Girl: You need a doctor. Dude: The nurse will come down too. Girl: Do not you think it's disgusting? Dude: Yes, I think it's extremely nasty. But my cock fuck. Girl: but why me? Dude: Because you're a girl. Girl: so what? Does this mean that I have to rape me like this? Dude: first, no one rapes you, I'm above this by as much as 50 cm. And secondly, all this means that I do not have time to mow under the idiot-romance, asking how your name is, then affectionately suggest somehow meet, then six months drive you to the most expensive restaurants, theaters and cinema, give you the most exquisite gifts for all the holidays, not excluding "the day of the underwater special forces of the land forces", talk about your deep soul and millions of similarities with yours, Then get acquainted with your parents and produce on the their impression of respectable and intelligent person, and then, when your parents leave on a business trip, you will invite me to your place to suck. So why waste time, which we have so little? Let's get down to business right away! Girl: it's all clear, a hard case. Dude: only 179 grams. And there are no problems! Girl: I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about you. Are you really not interested in learning something about me first? Could at least ask my name. Dude: say it when you swallow it. And then I'll try to guess. If I win, you suck it again, and if I lose, you can go. The girl: listen, why do you want to do it this way? Dude: Well, if it's not convenient for you, I can lie down. Girl: no, I mean, why in the mouth? I after all, as you already mentioned, the girl. So why not take advantage of all the benefits of this circumstance? Dude: Because I like it the most. Girl: so can a guy and a dog and the fucking vacuum cleaner. You insult my dignity, which is capable of more, but soon will melt with moss, because of the general enthusiasm for plowing. Dude: Listen, I can not be in a state of outflow of blood for so long. My head is spinning already. Suck it, finally! Girl: are you, by the hour, not gay? Dude: I do not know, I did not check. I in fact like girls or not! I'm gay! Girl: can I go? Dude: no! You just caused me a moral trauma and as compensation you must suck me off! Girl: Yes, I'll fuck you now fuck off him, fagot falcely! The second dude enters. Everyone cries out. 2nd Dude: hey, get your hands off her immediately! Girl: do not go, or I'll suck it off! 2nd Dude: no, do not do this! You can not do this to me! The girl: still as I can. You used me, all this time you cheated on me with everyone and now I have to take revenge. 2nd Dude: it's not true! I did not cheat on you! Girl: I do not believe you. I will not be able to look into your eyes until I do what I'm about to do. 2nd Dude: it's him, right? Did he seduce you? Girl: do not translate it into arrows. He is generally gay. 2nd Dude: Is he gay? Girl: yes! 2nd Dude: Look, I do not want you to do this! Let me do this. I will redeem my guilt. Girl: what the fuck are you talking about? 2nd Dude: you know, I'm not just saying that I did not cheat on you. I'm gay, and I've always been. Therefore, I am as pure as a baby. So, let me finish the job you started. The girl gets up in amazement, and the second dude sits down in her place. 2nd Dude: Come on, get out your friend. Dude: I can not. 2nd Dude: What do you mean, I can not? Dude: I seem to have finished. 2nd Dude: Do I look fucking today? Dude: no, I'm frightened. 2nd Dude: it means everything is the opposite. Yes, I did not like my tie since morning. Dude: it's just that you entered so suddenly that I did not expect that you would see us. 2nd Dude: what did you expect me to see? Speech of clowns-acrobats? Girl: just do not make yourself a frustrated gay. I know that you cheated on me with the girls. Right here in my office. Я видела видеозаписи. 2-ой Чувак: какие видеозаписи? Девушка: офис под видеонаблюдением. 2-ой Чувак: нет! Чувак: нет! Девушка: да! Чувак и 2-ой чувак: нет!!! Девушка: да!!! Мониторы на первом этаже. Второй чувак подходит к окну. На улице стоит целая толпа с плакатами. Толпа: Соси! Соси! Соси! Входит Мужик. Мужик: что здесь происходит? Чувак: ничего. Я уже кончил. 2-ой Чувак: она подстроила все это, чтобы уличить меня в измене. Девушка: неправда! Он пришел уже потом. 2-ой Чувак: так значит ты не собиралась у него сосать? Чувак: собиралась! Девушка: неужели, ты мог поверить, что я у него отсосу? 2-ой Чувак: а неужели, ты могла поверить, что Я у него отсосу? Мужик: блядь! Вы все у МЕНЯ сейчас отсосете, если не уберетесь отсюда нахуй. Чувак: все это так возбуждает! Девушка: папа, я тебе все объясню! Мужик: не надо мне ничего объяснять. Дочка, забирай своего друга и уходите отсюда. Я все улажу. Девушка и Второй Чувак выходят и идут по лестнице. 2-ой Чувак: слушай, а кто он такой и почему ты все-таки стояла перед ним на коленях? Девушка: да я просто уронила папку с документами, когда он вошел. Он схватил меня за волосы и завопил как сумасшедший. Офис. Мужик: послушайте, я бы хотел уладить это недоразумение. Вот, здесь сумма, которая должна быть достаточной за ваше молчание. Мужик роняет купюры и присаживается, чтобы их собрать. Чувак хватает его за волосы. Чувак: соси, сука, соси! Мужик: Вы пытаетесь склонить меня к оральному сексу?
На здоровье!
Есть у меня друг Алекс - американец российского происхождения. Его родители уехали из России еще до революции, мыкались сначала по Европе, где Александр и родился, а потом оказались в Штатах. Мать Алекса - изнеженная российская аристократка из Петербурга, - отдавала лишь распоряжения, все тянул на себе отец, в прошлом офицер царской армии. Нетерпимая ко всему, кроме российского и православного, мать на дух не переносила ни негров, ни евреев, ни "прочих латиносов", сидела дома, ничего не делая, и третировала домашних. Алекс мать не любил, полагая, что та сведет отца в могилу своими придирками и нетерпимостью, и рано ушел из дома, записавшись добровольцем во Вьетнам. Потом служил по разным горячим точкам. Там же и присмотрел себе невесту, кореянку. Отец его к этому времени умер, мать он не видел лет 15. И решил Алекс, что после стольких лет разлуки мать, возможно, смягчилась сердцем и душой и даст благословение на женитьбу. Хоть и с "узкоглазой". Та, надо сказать, кроме родного, корейского, кое-как говорила по-английски, мать же Алекса, признавала только русский. И вот приезжают молодые в гости. Мать старается по отношению к заморской невесте вести себя милостиво: и на стол накрывает и беседу через Алекса поддерживает. Но удивляется: - А что это она тебя, Саша, так грубо все время обзывает - ебо да ебо?! - Да это по-корейски - милый. - А-а-а... но все равно как-то... неприлично... И так тихо-мирно время подходит к трапезе. Кажется, вечер удался. Разливается водка. Мать поднимает рюмку и со словами - На здоровье! чокается с будущей невесткой. Просит Алекса перевести и хочет услышать от кореянки соответствующее приветствие на ее родном языке. Та поднимает свою рюмку и с сияющим лицом, глядя в глаза будущей теще, четко произносит: - Ты писда! Торжества пришлось закрыть. Алекс больше при жизни матери в том доме не появлялся. Хотя кто же виноват, что корейская фраза для уха аристократки прозвучала столь по-русски...
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Один из самых знаменитых американских телеведущих, бессменный ведущий в течение 30 с лишним лет весьма популярной юмористическо-сатирической программы "Ночное шоу" Джонни Карсон отличался отменным чувством юмора, острым языком и умением экспромтом выдавать убойные реплики. Однажды одним из гостей на его шоу была эпатажная и весьма, на мой взгляд (и не только на мой), бесталанная (в отличие от ее сестры Евы) актриса венгерского происхождения Жа-Жа Габор. Жа-Жа принесла с собой на шоу свою любимую кошку, который во время ее беседы с Джонни возлежала у нее на коленях, милостиво разрешая почесать себе ухо и живот. Джонни начал задавать вопросы про кошку, и Жа-Жа его спросила: - Джонни, а не хочешь ли ты погладить мою киску (рussу)? - С удовольствием! - невозмутимо ответил неподражаемый Джонни, - Если ты уберешь эту проклятую кошку со своих колен!