Get rid of guilt
If you are a victim of sexual abuse, the best thing you can do for yourself, besides seeking help from a counseling specialist, is to continue to believe in yourself. “You are not to blame for the terrible thing that happened to you,” says Dr. Kose. It would seem such a simple idea, but many women need years to believe in it. ”
Even if you knew your rapist, even if you were dressed and behaved defiantly, even if you drank or cuddled, feeling passionate, even if you did not resist, but if at some point you decided that you do not want sex and they said no to the man, and he continued to force you, what happened to you is rape.
There is an opinion shared even by women that a man, if he is sexually aroused, loses control of himself. This thought found expression in a simple joke: “When you unbutton a man’s pants, his brain falls out.”
Dr. Kose surveyed a group of men and women to find out if they believed that men at some point lose their ability to control themselves sexually. “Some women answered this question in the affirmative, while men confidently answered that, of course, they did not,” she points out.
It would be a mistake to assume that if a woman loses her guard, she deserves to be treated in this way. Men should also feel responsible. “It is he who decides to do what he did, not you,” says Dr. Kose.