Get rid of guilt
If you become a victim of sexual abuse, the best thing you can do for yourself, besides seeking help from a counseling specialist, is to continue to believe in yourself. “You are not to blame for the terrible thing that happened to you,” says Dr. Kose. It would seem such a simple thought, but many women need years to believe in it. "
Even if you knew your rapist, even if you were dressed and behaving defiantly, even if you drank or hugged, feeling passionate, even if you did not resist, but if at some point you decided that you did not want sex and they said no to the man, and he continued to force you, what happened to you is rape.
There is an opinion shared even by women that a man, if he is sexually aroused, loses control of himself. This thought was expressed in a straightforward joke: "When you unfasten a man’s trousers, his brain will fall out."
Dr. Kose interviewed a group of men and women to find out if they believe that men at some point lose their ability to control themselves sexually. “Some women answered this question in the affirmative, while men confidently answered that, of course, no,” she points out.
It would be a mistake to believe that if a woman loses her vigilance, she deserves to be treated in this way. Men should also feel responsible. “He decides to do what he did, not you,” says Dr. Kose.