Inability to feel the same
Oddly enough, self-accusations often represent an attempt to maintain emotional balance after rape, which can change a woman’s self-image as a worthy person and the world’s image as a safe place. “This is a form of pseudo-recovery,” explains Dr. Kose. If you blame yourself, you at least get an explanation of why this happened. It gives you a sense of control over events. If I know why this happened, then I can change my behavior so that it does not happen again. But this is an illusion. ”
However, this illusion is shared by many, which is why it is difficult for victims of violence to get the help they really need from those around them, from the police to close people. Many people prefer to think that bad things happen to bad people.
One reason explaining why rape leaves such a deep trauma is, according to Dr. Kose, that there is a violation of the most intimate personal zones. This is not only penetration into the personal space around your body, but actual penetration into it. This is a loss of control over the part of your body that, as you are told from a young age, you must protect. "Rape makes women believe that this happened to them, after which they can lose value in the eyes of other people."
If the acquaintance turned out to be a familiar man, then another moment is added to the psychological trauma. “When this is done by the person you knew, there is a terrible feeling that you cannot trust anyone,” says Dr. Kose.
A woman is rarely able to recover from such a deep injury without assistance. Most experts believe that the best help can be obtained at a center specifically designed to treat women who are victims of violence.
“To the severity of the injury is added the thought that they are treated like the mentally ill,” says Dr. Kose. For this reason, the help center for women victims of violence is the best place they can go, because these centers are not formally part of the system of treatment facilities for the mentally ill. "
Well trained staff, sympathetic and understanding, can help deal with the nervous shock that follows the experience of violence. In the center you can get advice, they will also help you find a lawyer. Immediately after the rape, someone can take the woman to the hospital and stay with her until she is examined, which can be very difficult for a woman.
Many women after rape need the help of a counseling specialist, warns Dr. Kose, but not all counselors are equally able to provide it. The very nature of psychological assistance is such that some specialists, not wanting to, can focus a woman’s attention on her role in her misfortune.