Inability to feel the same
Oddly enough, self-incrimination is often an attempt to maintain emotional balance after rape, which can change a woman’s perception of herself as a worthy person and a perception of the world as a safe place. “This is a type of pseudo-recovery,” explains Dr. Kose. If you blame yourself, you at least get an explanation of why this happened. It gives you a sense of control over the events. If I know why this happened, it means that I can change my behavior so that it does not happen again. But this is an illusion. ”
However, this illusion is shared by many, which is why it is difficult for victims of violence to get the help they really need from those around them, from the police to those close to them. Many prefer to think that bad things happen to bad people.
One of the reasons why rape leaves such a deep trauma is, according to Dr. Kose, that a violation of the innermost personal zones occurs. This is not only penetration into the personal space around your body, but actual penetration inside it. This is a loss of control over a part of your body that you are told from an early age that you must protect. Rape makes women think that something has happened to them, after which they may lose value in the eyes of other people. ”
If the acquaintance turned out to be a familiar man, then one more thing is added to the psychological trauma. “When this is done by a person whom you knew, a terrible feeling arises that no one can be trusted,” says Dr. Kose.
A woman is rarely able to recover from such a deep injury without help. Most experts believe that the best help is available at a center specifically designed to treat women who are victims of violence.
“To the severity of the injury, the thought is added that they are treated as mentally ill, notes Dr. Kose. For this reason, the center for helping women who are victims of violence is the best place to go to, because these centers do not formally belong to the system of medical institutions for the mentally ill. ”
Well-trained staff, sympathetic and understanding, can help cope with the nervous shock that follows the violence experienced. In the center you can get advice, here you can find a lawyer. Immediately after the rape, someone can take a woman to the hospital and stay with her until she passes the examination, which can be very difficult for a woman.
Many women after rape need the help of a consulting specialist, warns Dr. Kose, but not all counselors are equally able to provide it. The very nature of psychological assistance is such that some experts, unwillingly, may draw the attention of a woman to her role in the trouble that has befallen her.