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The barrier to pleasure

It happens that women live happily, completely satisfied with their sex life until suddenly, instead of pleasure, they begin to feel pain.
This disorder is called “vaginismus” and is the third most common female genital disorder in prevalence. What's happening? Involuntary contraction of the muscles surrounding the entrance to the vagina and the upper third of the vagina when attempting sexual intercourse. In the worst case, sex becomes impossible, in the best sporadic and painful. It is surprising that, despite everything, you can maintain the ability to be aroused and even have an orgasm.
The reasons are psychological in nature. “This is how the body reacts to prohibitions and fears,” said New York sexologist Shirley Zussman, a doctor of pedagogy. Often this is affected by a negative attitude to sex, from childhood laid down by parents, or too strict adherence to religious dogmas. Sometimes it is difficult for a woman to have close relationships. She cannot open herself to others, does not give vent to emotions and does not respond to sexual actions. ”
“When a woman with vaginismus comes to me, adds Dr. Seifer, I see that, as a rule, this is an extremely competent woman who has made a good career. In many cases, she did not lead a sexual life for a long time. As if she told herself: “Well, sex doesn't mean that much to me. I’m going to prove myself in the business world. ”
Meanwhile, her marriage (or her sex life) is failing. Even if she realizes that she is not okay, she often ignores the problem, especially if she can withstand sexual intercourse for at least some time, according to Joe Marie Kessler, a private practice nurse at Crenshaw Clinic in San Diego, California. Even worse, the doctor may not give importance to the symptoms if the examination does not reveal any deviations. Indeed, nothing can be seen if the violations are sporadic. “Only when a woman comes complaining about the impossibility of a marital relationship will the doctor be concerned about her condition,” says Kessler. Not surprisingly, women with vaginismus experience feelings of guilt, shame, fear and mistrust. Functional disorder, anger, hostility and resentment gradually develop, and feelings of helplessness, hopelessness and powerlessness seize them.