Prophecies that come true because you yourself contribute to this
In order for you not to feel guilty, you need to be sure that you are doing the right thing. “Otherwise, says Galinsky, your sense of guilt will turn into a prophecy, the fulfillment of which you yourself contribute to.” A study by Ellen Hawk, Ph.D., a professor in family relations and age psychology at Ohio State University, showed that a mother’s attitude to leaving her child affects her child’s reaction.
“You believe that you are harming your child, so you begin to act as if the child was hurt,” says Galinsky. You begin to believe that you must somehow compensate the child for the loss due to the fact that you are working. ”
As a result, it often turns out that parents condone the children, indulge in constant antics, allow you to stay up until late, supposedly in order to spend more time together. In another embodiment, these are attempts to become a supermother and give everything to the last to children. “As a result, the children are confused and begin to believe that your behavior is not entirely correct,” Galinsky said.
“Instead of embarking on this path, she says, isn’t it better to directly ask myself:“ Am I going to work or not going? ” And if you decide to work, think over the appropriate line of behavior. Do not let guilty feelings affect your relationship with your child, because what you fear most can happen. You can ruin your child. ”
Think about how you can spend more time with your children. If possible, take advantage of flexible hours or part-time jobs. Decide what matters most to you. Do you have to work so that you have food on the table or to pay for a house purchased in installments? If you can live with all the comforts, albeit not luxurious, of one income and do not mind staying at home until at least the children are older, then think about a new career as the mother of your children.