Prophecies that come true because you yourself contribute to this
In order not to be tormented by feelings of guilt, you need to be sure that you are doing the right thing. "Otherwise, says Galinsky, your guilt will turn into a prophecy, which you yourself will contribute to fulfill." A study by Ellen Hawk, Ph.D., a professor specializing in family relations and age psychology, teaching at Ohio State University, showed that the mother’s attitude toward what she leaves her child influences the child’s reaction.
“You think that you are harming your child, so you start behaving as if the child was injured,” Galinski says. You start to think that you must somehow compensate the child for the loss due to the fact that you are working. ”
As a result, it often happens that parents condone children, indulge in constant antics, allow them to stay up late, supposedly to spend more time together. In another version, this is an attempt to become a supermater and give everything to the last children. “As a result, children are confused and begin to believe that your behavior is not entirely correct,” said Galinski.
“Instead of embarking on this path, she says, is it not better to ask yourself directly:“ Do I go to work or not? ”And if you decide to work, think over the appropriate course of conduct. Do not let guilt affect your relationship with your child, because what you fear the most can happen. You can spoil your child. ”
Think about how you can spend more time with your children. If possible, take advantage of flexible hours or part-time work. Decide what is most important to you. Do you have to work so that you have food on the table or to pay for the house purchased by installments? If you can live with all the comforts, even if not luxurious, for one income and do not mind staying home, at least until the children grow up, then think about a new career as the mother of your children.