Regardless of whether your lover is married or single, it is always difficult to part, as the old song says. How do I know if the time has come for a breakup? “If your relationship has been going on for more than two years and you still don’t know what it is based on, you’re still trying to change it and still feel miserable, you need to break the relationship, Dr. Bitner advises. If you feel addiction is happening, this should alert you. If you sacrifice your moral principles because of this connection or lose your sense of pride, it can be harmful to your health. The gap will happen when you become unbearably painful and you want to stop this pain. "
A support group can help you. In the group led by Dr. Bitner, 90 percent of the women eventually abandoned their lovers (including herself). “They listened to each other's stories, gave each other advice and began to see their relationship differently,” she says.
But there are almost no such support groups for “other” women. Compassionate friends who are ready to help can be very helpful. “I had two friends who also had a relationship with married men, and we helped each other,” Linda recalls. I left first, my friends did it shortly after me. We can say we persuaded each other. "
“What helps most, Dr. Bitner observes, is the feeling of anger. If you have enough reasons for resentment and anger, you can swim out of the current situation on them, she adds. You need to have something that strengthens you in your decision. Think about what will happen if you stay. Then you will need to vent your anger because it will overwhelm you. ” It was this that ultimately gave Linda the strength to get away from the person she loved. "Staying with him has become harder than staying without him."